Not-So-Grim Reaper

Cyrus McCormick, who invented the reaper and founded the company that became International Harvester, was a generous contributor to Chicago’s Presbyterian Theological School. Because of that fact, the school later changed its name to McCormick Theological Seminary. Faculty and students have quipped that death is never referred to as “The Grim Reaper” at McCormick, but always as “The International Harvester.”

“Grim” is not a word which describes the experience of many people who find themselves nearing life’s end. Like Dr. Abraham Maslow commented after a heart attack which made him realize that his own death was not far away: “Death, and its ever-present possibility makes love, passionate love, more possible.  I wonder if we could love passionately, if ecstasy would be possible at all, if we knew we’d never die.”

Likewise, psychiatrist Irvin Yalom, who worked with terminally ill cancer patients, reported that “grimness” was far from their attitudes about passing on. Yalom tells us that once his patients accepted the fact that their lives were rapidly drawing to an end, positive and exciting changes occurred. He reports that they felt a sense of freedom to do what they wanted to do. Furthermore, they lived in the present and enjoyed it more. They found themselves appreciating the world around them in ways they never had before. They communicated more deeply with loved ones and actually looked forward to holidays in joyous anticipation.

Because these people knew they were dying, they figured out how to live. Nothing grim here. They came alive in ways never before possible. Like one dying woman said to me, “Life sparkles.”

Oh, maybe you don’t want to volunteer to hop on that bus today, but we’ll each set off on the journey soon enough. And from what I can tell, it promises to be an exciting adventure. But in the meantime, what if you set out to start living now as if your short days here were truly numbered? When “The International Harvester” knocks on your door, may it be opened by somebody who didn’t wait until it was time to die to learn how to live.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/lrutherford03

The Big Question

I have a friend who learned something new about grizzly bears, or the brown bear, as it is often called. He recently traveled to Alaska and did some hiking. He was told to protect himself from brown bears by wearing tiny bells on his clothing. He said the bells warn away MOST bears. He was also cautioned to observe the ground on the trail, paying particular attention to bear droppings. If fresh bear scat should be spotted, he was warned to stay alert to the presence of grizzlies. With a twinkle in his eye he added, “You can tell when the droppings come from grizzly bears because of the tiny bells in them.”

I suppose if he worried too much about bears, he might miss out on some of the fun of hiking. Best not to become overly-concerned about everything that could possibly go wrong, like spooking a grizzly bear. After all, even in the best hikes, one has to take a few risks. But seasoned hikers know that the payoff is usually worth it. 

Author and environmentalist Edward Abbey was speaking about hiking as well as life when he said, “May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view.” To arrive at someplace amazing, the trek may be difficult and we must be prepared to accept some risks along the way. Especially if we’re following our heart into unknown territory or attempting something bigger than we’ve ever tried before. Of course, we can always choose an easier path, one that is more comfortable and safer, but we may not like where we end up nearly as much. 

Like Joseph Campbell said when speaking of following your bliss through life: “The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure.” 

That IS the big question, isn’t it? Will we say a hearty yes to our adventure? To a full, rich and well-lived life? One thing I know: the path may be tricky and even treacherous at times, but it will be worth it.

--Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/marneejill

If You’re Not Loving Life

An efficiency expert once concluded her lecture with the comment, “Please don’t try these techniques at home.”

“Why not?” she was asked.

“I used to watch my husband prepare breakfast and wondered why he made so many trips to the table carrying only one item at a time,” she replied. “One day I asked him, ‘Wouldn’t it be quicker and more efficient if you organized yourself to carry several things to the table at once?’” 

“Did it work?” she was asked.

“Oh, yes, it worked,” the expert replied. “It used to take my husband twenty minutes to prepare breakfast. Now I do it in seven.”

Not all advice is readily received. And sometimes it is not heard the way it was intended. But neither should all advice be followed; rather, wisdom learns to separate kernels of truth from weeds.

Some advice worthy of consideration, though, comes from multi-billionaire Warren Buffett. These are some of his rules to live by.

1. Pay off your credit cards every month.

2. Put integrity first in your life. 

3. Be smart about whose habits you decide to copy.

4. Don’t do something just for the money. Happiness comes from loving the work.

I have a friend who believes in trying to do what you love. He says, “Seven years ago I decided to do what I loved most − loving people. Since that time my cup has slowly been filled and is now flowing over the brim with love. Simultaneously, while seeking humility and significance, I lost pride and prominence. During those seven years I have had several mottoes. Probably the most significant one is: If you are not loving life, you are not living love.”

There’s a motto worth keeping. If you are not loving life, you are not living love. 

I may never be a multi-billionaire like Warren Buffett. But if I get better at living love, I may just be about the richest person around.

--Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Marga Serrano

Just A Dime

Can one dime make a difference? Here is a woman who turned a dime into millions of dollars. 

Her name was Martha Berry. This clever woman founded the Berry School in Rome, Georgia. She scraped together funds from every source possible. One day she approached Henry Ford, of Ford automobile fame, and asked for a contribution. Patronizingly, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a dime.

Rather than be insulted or discouraged by the “gift,” Miss Berry bought a package of seed peanuts with it. The seeds were planted and tended, and they eventually yielded a large crop, which she later sold.

Again she called on Mr. Ford. “Here’s the dime you gave me last year,” she said, handing him a coin. Then she told him of the return she had realized from his token investment.

Ford was so impressed that, in the years to come, he gave millions of dollars to the school.

Can one dime make a difference? Yes, if it is well invested.

How about one hour of your time? Can it make a difference? Or how about the life of one person? Can a life like yours or mine really make a difference? The answer to each of these questions is the same: Yes, if it is well invested.

Now...how are your investments doing?

-- Steve Goodier 

Image: flickr.com/Nicu Buculei

Have You Lost the Dead Part Yet?

I am discovering that many people want, above all else, to live life fully. Or at least to get more out of life. But sometimes the past gets in the way. Unhealed hurts and unnecessary guilt too often suck the life out of people.

Here is a great visual. A schoolteacher tells about when he entered his room a few minutes early and noticed a mealworm laboriously crawling along the floor. It had somehow been injured. The back part of the worm was dead and dried up, but still attached to the front, living part by just a thin thread.

As the teacher studied the strange sight of a poor worm pulling its dead half across the floor, a little girl ran in and noticed it there. Picking it up, she said, “Oh, Oscar, when are you going to lose that dead part so you can really live?”

She could be asking that question to any of us. For you, too, may be dragging around something that you should have left behind long ago. Maybe anger over a past incident. Or some long-ago hurt of betrayal. Maybe you’re dragging around feelings of guilt brought about by poor decisions you’ve lived with for so long you hardly know how to feel without them. 

What an important question for each of us - when are you going to lose that dead part so you can really live? When are you going to let the past BE the past? All the memories of the past that steal your peace today should not be allowed in the present. If you’ve been dragging around something that is dead, it’s time to choose life.  

Let the child's question be your question: “When are you going to lose the dead part so you can really live?” Answering that question today may be the most important thing you have done in a long time.


-- Steve Goodier

Remember

One woman complained to a friend that she couldn’t remember anything from one day to the next.

“Let me get this straight,” he said. “You can’t remember anything from one day to the next. How long has this been going on?”

She said, “How long has what been going on?”

Even if your memory is perfect, it may still help to focus on the few things you really need to remember. This list, compiled from several sources, may be all you really need to remember..

• Remember that your presence is a gift (a present) to the world.
• Remember that you are a unique and unrepeatable being.
• Remember that you are still becoming what you will be.
• Remember to relax; each day just comes one at a time.
• Remember to count your blessings, not your troubles.
• Remember that you have sufficient courage to face whatever comes along.
• Remember that most of the answers you need are within you.
• Remember that decisions are too important to leave to chance.
• Remember to always reach for the best that is within you.
• Remember that nothing wastes more energy than worry.
• Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
• Remember that the longer you carry a grudge, the heavier it gets.
• Remember not to take things too seriously; there’s always reason to laugh.
• Remember that happiness is more often found in giving than getting.
• Remember that life’s greatest treasures are people, not things.
• Remember that a little love goes a long way.
• Remember that a lot goes forever.

-- Steve Goodier

These Are the Only Times I’ve Got

Can you believe it? This poem was actually published in The Saturday Evening Post in 1949, under the title, “Time of the Mad Atom.” See if it sounds familiar.

This is the age

Of the half-read page.

And the quick hash

And the mad dash.

The bright night

With the nerves tight.

The plane hop

With the brief stop.

The lamp tan

In a short span.

The Big Shot

In a good spot.

And the brain strain

The heart pain.

And the cat naps

Till the spring snaps −

And the fun’s done!

It seems that people were as frantic then as they are now.

Many years ago James Lachard (pen name for John James Brown) wrote a piece called “An Interview with God.” In it, the narrator asks God, “What surprises you most about mankind?”

God’s answer is telling: “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

Are we so driven to make a living that we can’t make a life? Are we so anxious about what might happen tomorrow that we miss what is happening today? What if we decided that today is too important not to cherish?

I don’t want to get addicted to being busy. And I don’t want to die before I’ve ever really lived. To paraphrase Art Buchwald, whether these are the worst of times or the best of times, I know these are the only times I’ve got, and I want to live them with intention.

I think I can start that today. -- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/ukg.photographerflickr.com/ukg.photographer

I Had a Wonderful Time

I have a collection of humorous and poignant epitaphs and tombstone verses. I find it interesting to note what is said about someone who has recently died. Granted, not all tombstone sayings are telling. Like the one for Lester Moore at Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:

HERE LIES LESTER MOORE

FOUR SLUGS FROM A 44

NO LES

NO MORE

Or this grave marker from Uniontown, Pennsylvania:

HERE LIES THE BODY OF JONATHAN BLAKE

STEPPED ON THE GAS

INSTEAD OF THE BRAKE

In the effort to explain how the person died, the tombstone of Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York says:

LOOKED UP THE ELEVATOR SHAFT 

TO SEE IF THE CAR WAS 

ON THE WAY DOWN 

IT WAS

Television celebrity and talk show host Merv Griffin penned his own:

I WILL NOT BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS MESSAGE

Sometimes these “last words” reveal more than the deceased may have wanted, like this one:

HERE LIES A FELLOW WHO LIVED FOR HIMSELF

AND CARED FOR NOTHING 

BUT GATHERING PELF

NOW WHERE HE IS OR HOW HE FARES

NOBODY KNOWS AND NOBODY CARES

These posthumous writings will often summarize a life. If accurate, they can point the reader to that which was most important to the deceased. Did this person enjoy life? Was she cared for? Did he make a difference? Did she leave a legacy?

When you die, how will you be remembered?

Newspaper columnist Nick Clooney printed some epitaphs from people still alive, written by themselves. Some were humorous, some serious. Some hoped that their own original epitaph would be close to the way they might be remembered. One that I appreciate came from Charlie Mechem, former head of Taft Broadcasting. Charlie wished that this might be put on his tombstone: “Dear God, Thanks for letting me visit. I had a wonderful time.”

All right. Not every day is a wonderful day. But as I look back over my life, the good and bad, the difficult and fun and exciting and dreadful, I would like to be able to say in summary: I had a wonderful time. There were friends and family, there were failures and even disasters, but there was also plenty of fun. And through it all, there was important work to do. When it’s finally over, I want to honestly say I had a wonderful time.

So I’m going to make sure I appreciate today. And I know that if I can look back on most days as being somehow worthwhile, and often times enjoyable, I know that if I will find a way to appreciate every day given to me, I will be able to say in all sincerity, “I had a wonderful time.” 

I can’t ask for more.

-- Steve Goodier

Love Life - and Let It Love You Back

A man had just taken his annual physical exam and was waiting for the doctor's initial report. After a few minutes the doctor came in with his charts in hand and said, "There's no reason why you can't live a completely normal life as long as you don't try to enjoy it."

One of the great keys to successful living is to ignore that doctor's recommendation and enjoy life as much as possible. Living well is difficult. Learn to enjoy it. Decide to be happy.

I once heard a story that you are sure to appreciate, even if you don’t know (or care) much about baseball. It occurred many years ago, back when Branch Rickey was managing the St. Louis Browns baseball team. The Browns happened to be playing against the Detroit Tigers and the immortal Ty Cobb came to bat with two outs and the bases empty in the last inning of a tie game. Cobb drew a base on balls. Once at first, Cobb took a risky lead. His daring, his pure desire to make the most of the moment, rattled the pitcher. The pick-off throw was wild and Cobb dashed. He made a defiant turn at second, forcing another wild throw, slid 10 feet into third and watched as the dazed third baseman muffed the catch. Cobb sprang to his feet and sped for home. By sheer adventure and skill he made what amounted to a home run out of a base on balls!

Ty Cobb’s Tigers won and the Browns lost as a result. But, Branch Rickey, the opposing manager, was thrilled. He had the privilege of witnessing Ty Cobb's irrepressible love of the game, a quality that set him apart from most other players. Rickey later commented, "If a player really loves this game, it'll love him back."

So it is with all of life. If I really want to love life, I must give it all I have. And if I give myself to it fully, I enjoy it more. If I try to truly live every moment and pay attention, if I laugh more and worry less, I find more joy -- even in the struggles. 

Henry Van Dyke said, "Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look at the stars."

Do you love life? After all, it’s giving you a chance to work and play and gaze at the stars. Be glad. Enjoy! Learn to love it...and let it love you back.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/John Britton

Life Is Meant to Be Lived

Life is to be lived. No excuses. No reservations. No holding back.

An enchanting story about the talented violinist Fritz Kreisler tells how he once came across a beautiful instrument he wanted to acquire. When he finally raised the money for the violin, he returned to buy it and learned that it had already been sold to a collector.

He went to the new owner's home in order to try to persuade him to sell the violin. But the collector said it was one of his prized possessions and he could not let it go. The disappointed Kreisler turned to leave, but then asked a favor. "May I play the instrument once more before it is consigned to silence?"

Permission was granted and the great musician began to play. The violin sang out a quality of music so beautiful that the collector himself could only listen in wonderment. "I have no right to keep that to myself," he said after the musician finished. "The violin is yours, Mr. Kreisler. Take it into world, and let people hear it."

William Arthur Ward said, "If you believe in prayer, pray; if you believe in serving, serve; if you believe in giving, give." For you and I are exquisite violins and our music is meant to be heard.

I want to live my life that way -- to take it into the world and live it fully. I'd rather burn out than rust out. I'd rather be used up than die not having done whatever I could...wherever I would.

I'm not talking about wearing out due to unrestrained over-activity. Happiness is never found in excessive busyness. But it is found in investing our lives in others. And letting your music be heard.

In the end, I know that my happiness will not have been about my ability or my inability. It will be more about my availability. 

I want to live my life. No excuses. No reservations. No holding back.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: Flickr.com/kimverlihalili  

Living Fully

Do you feel your life is all it can be? Do you yearn for life to be fuller? A friend once recited this poem to me:

There once was a cautious gal, who never romped or played;
She never drank, she never smoked, from the path she never strayed.
So when she passed away the insurance was denied;
For since she never really lived they claimed she never died!

Of course, I don’t think these behaviors describe quality living, but I do think most people want to experience life as fully as possible. This has always been the case. Even two thousand years ago, Jesus, that great lover of life from Galilee, recognized our universal yearning for life when he said, “I have come that they might have life and have it more abundantly.”

And, of course, “romping,” “playing,” and “straying from the path” have little to do with how fully one experiences life. Abundant living is more about how we love the other people on this planet, how we care for ourselves and how well we honor our God. It has to do with joy and laughter, kindness, forgiveness and peace. It means taking time for what is truly necessary.

One man was asked if he believed in life after death. His wife spoke first. “Life after death?” she said. “He doesn’t even believe in life after dinner!”

I believe in life after death. But I also believe in life before death. Abundant and full and beginning today.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Matt B 

Are You Lighting Your Candles?

Brendan Francis correctly said, "No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves to today." Ann Tyler explained that truth in her novel Back When We Were Grownups.

Fifty three-year-old Rebecca is speaking to her grandchildren: "When I was a little girl..., my Aunt Ida gave me this beautiful, tall white candle with a kind of frill of white lace running up it in a spiral. I thought it was the most elegant thing I'd ever seen in my life. I saved it in my bureau drawer for some momentous event, although I can't imagine now what that would have been. I mean, I was only eight years old. Not a whole lot of momentous events happen when you're eight. And Aunt Ida would ask me, now and then, 'Have you ever burned that candle?'

"I'd say, 'No, not yet. I'm saving it,' I'd say.

"Then one day, oh, maybe three or four years later, I came across it in my drawer. It had turned all yellow and warped; it was practically a C shape, and the lace was coming off in crumbles. I'd never seen it burning, and now I never would. So ever since that time, I light my candles any chance I get. I light them by the dozens, all over every room, at every party from September through May. Multitudes of candles."

I got an email from a reader named Jennie. She pointed me to that passage and added that she had a similar experience with a gift candle she saved until it melted in the drawer. "I learned my lesson," Jennie said, "and have been lighting my candles, literally and figuratively, ever since!"

Are you lighting your candles? Are you enjoying each day to the fullest? Actually enjoying them? Or will you put off living for some future date? "One today is worth two tomorrows," noted Benjamin Franklin. I'll bet he knew the value of lighting candles -- and living fully -- before it's too late.

I've decided to light my candles TODAY. I've decided to find reasons to enjoy each day as if today were all I had. And if those "candles" burn all the way down, that is okay. For I will have replaced them with lifelong memories, which I somehow know, will be a good trade.

-- Steve Goodier

Image by Eli Duke

If You Had It To Do Over

Image by Fred Fokkelman

One woman announced, “I intend to live forever! So far so good….” But the length of our lives is not the real issue; it’s the quality and meaning that matter. Not the years in a life, but the life in the years.

When asked what he wanted to be remembered for when his life was over, Leo Buscaglia replied, “I want to be remembered as somebody who lived life fully and with passion. I’ve been asked to write my epitaph and I have always thought that the perfect one for my tombstone would be, ‘Here lies Leo who died living.’”

I want to die living. And I want to be remembered as one who lived with purpose, joy and feeling. I want to spend my time learning what goes into a whole and happy life, then building that life the best I can.

Sociologist Tony Campolo told about a study in which fifty people over the age of 90 were asked to reflect upon their lives. “If you had it to do over again,” they were asked, “what would you do differently?” Though there were many answers, three responses dominated. Here they are:

1. “I would reflect more.” Do you ever feel that too much time is spent in “doing” and not enough spent thinking about what you are doing and why you are doing it? Reflection on your time and your priorities, your habits and behaviors, your attitudes and beliefs, in short, reflection on your life, will reveal to you what is truly important.
2. “I would risk more.” Have you missed important opportunities because you were afraid to take a chance? Taking more calculated risks may be the only way to make an important dream come alive.
3. “I would do more things that would live on after I died.” Are you immersed in something bigger and more enduring than your own existence? What will be your legacy?

Reflect more. Risk more. Leave a legacy. These are what our elders say they would do if ever given a second chance.

And, of course, the beauty is this: we don’t need a second chance at life to get it right. We can build a life around these values beginning today. And when it comes time for us to leave this existence, we can go with no regrets. 

-- Steve Goodier


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Getting to Your Life Work

Image by John Haslam

It might be more important than you realize...

A silly story is told about a farmer who stopped by his neighbors' home to let them know them that their son was stuck in a mud hole. "How deep is he sunk?" the boy's father asked.

"About to his knees," the farmer replied. He looked decidedly unconcerned.

"Well," said the father, "only up to his knees -- we've got time to set awhile an' jaw before we go."

"I don't think so," the visitor answered. "He's in head first."
   
As ridiculous as it is, the story suggests that there is a time to wait and there is a time to act. Wisdom is knowing which to do.

Some of us err on the side of jumping in and doing without thinking it through first. I have done that more than once. I've acted impulsively and regretted my haste later.

However, I sometimes catch myself erring on the other side. I too often over-think a project or problem and put off doing anything about it almost indefinitely. Which may not be a problem if I postpone a little project around the house or reading a particular book on my shelf. The project and the book will still be there tomorrow. Some things can wait with no dire consequences and I don't want to be enslaved by my to-do list.

But what if we're talking about something important...like fixing a relationship or making needed life changes? I call that life work. Though usually not urgent, it is some of the most important work a person can do. And the cost of putting off vital life work is often higher than one might realize. Broken relationships that could have been satisfying bring heartache. Attitudinal or behavioral changes never addressed will impede your personal growth and happiness for years. And what about those beautiful life dreams never pursued? Life work.

I appreciate these words from writer Og Mandino: “To be always intending to make a new and better life but never to find time to set about it is as…to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to the next until you’re dead.” It never seems very urgent any particular day, but to leave crucial life work behind can be one of the most destructive decisions a person can make.

Here is an important question. A year from now how will you feel about not beginning that life work you may be putting off today? Just beginning it may be all that is needed for now.

Since I began this piece with a silly story, let me end with another one. A golfer had an absolutely horrible day at the links. His ball lay on an anthill and he swung viciously with a five-iron. Again and again he missed the ball and chopped away at the hill, killing ants and sending sand flying through the air. One frightened ant turned to another and said in panic, “We’d better get on the ball if we want to stay alive!”

And that's the point -- if you have been putting off important life work, then this is your nudge to get on the ball.

I guarantee this...a year from now you'll be glad you did.

-- Steve Goodier

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Fragile: Handle with Care

I once clipped a strange story from the newspaper. It was about a man named Jose Estrada who drove to a popular trail where he like to jog. While Estrada was running, another jogger on the same trail collapsed and died of a heart attack. The man's body was taken to a nearby hospital where authorities found a car key in his pocket, but no identification. 

Assuming they would be able to find the name of the deceased man in his automobile registration papers, they brought the key back to a parking lot near the jogging trail. They figured that if they tried the key in various locked doors of cars parked by the trail, they might eventually find his car and learn who he was. So they experimented until they were able to open the doors of one of the vehicles. 

Now, here's where the story gets strange. The key opened the door of Estrada's pickup truck. They examined Estrada's registration papers and notified his wife of her husband's untimely death. They asked her to come to the hospital and identify his body.

And here is where the story gets stranger still. Mrs. Estrada saw the body on the table with a tube snaking from his mouth, his eyes taped shut and wearing jogging clothing much like her husband wore. In her distraught condition she assumed the body belonged to Jose and signed the death certificate.
   
Meanwhile, Jose Estrada finished running, drove back home and promptly learned from a friend, who was more than stunned to encounter him in the flesh, that he was supposed to be dead. He immediately sped to the hospital and strode, as big as life, into the waiting room. His startled wife fell into his arms laughing and crying. The only thing she managed to spurt out was, “Jose, if you ever die on me again, I'll kill you myself.” After all, he was dead and then he was alive... he was lost and then he was found. All in a single day. 

Eventually, the poor deceased man was properly identified and his family contacted. For this man's family, as well as for Estrada's wife, I wonder what thoughts first surfaced when they received news of the untimely death. Did they try to recall their last moments with him? Did they try to remember if they told him they loved him that morning? Was there an argument? Were there regrets?

How fragile life can be. I suspect that, if life came in a package, it would arrive in a box labeled, “Fragile: Handle with Care.” It is delicate and can be damaged in a moment. And I also suspect that, if life came in a package, it would arrive as a gift. It is undeserved and priceless. Which of us earned it and who could ever afford it?

My challenge is to remember that life is fragile. And it is an awesome gift. But what I want to remember most of all is that the people in my life, these beautiful gifts, are also fragile. And they, especially, need to be handled with care.

– Steve Goodier

Image: freeimages.com/Jane M. Sawyer

A Hole in the World

Do you remember the Eagle's song “Hole in the World”? It begins like this:

There's a hole in the world tonight.
There's a cloud of fear and sorrow.
There's a hole in the world tonight.
Don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow.
[Music and lyrics by Don Henley and Glenn Frey]

I am an optimist and constantly look for the best. But it does seem, at least at times, that there is a hole in the world.

We live in a day of almost unrestrained violence. Children can be snatched from homes and slain at school. Bombs and missiles are exploded in public places. There is war and there are rumors of war. No community, no race, no nation is immune to nor protected from a growing culture of violence. It's as if there is a hole in the world. Now, more than ever, we need to learn a different way, for the path we're following leads to a dark and dangerous wilderness.

I like the way of Azim Khamisa and Ples Felix, two men who experienced first hand a cloud of fear and sorrow. One deadly evening in 1995, 14-year-old Tony Hicks shot and killed a 20-year-old college student and pizza deliveryman in San Diego, California. Tony and several other gang members ordered pizza and, when it was delivered, Tony was told by his gang to shoot the young man who delivered the food, Tariq Khamisa.

Tariq's father Azim was enraged at the senseless killing. "There's something really wrong with a society where kids kill kids," he spat. He was angry with the kids, but he was even more upset with a culture that breeds so much violence.

Shortly after his son's death, Azim heard from a gentleman named Ples Felix. Ples was Tony Hick's grandfather and guardian. Azim invited Ples to his home and the two men shared their mutual grief and heartache. But it didn't stop there -- they also decided to do something. "I realized that change had to start with me," Azim reasoned. Therefore, though he may have wanted revenge, the grieving father chose a different way to respond to his son's death.

What happened? The victim's father toured the United States with the killer's grandfather. The two men visited schools with a message of nonviolence. They told the story of Tariq and Tony -- one child dead and the other in prison. And in a growing worldwide culture of violence, these two men of peace changed lives. They warmed hearts and stimulated minds of countless young people. They showed us all there is a different way to live.

David Orr, college professor and author, talks about this different way of living. “The plain fact is that the planet does not need more successful people,” he says. “But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places.”

I like that...the world needs “people who live well in their places.” People like Azim Khamisa and Ples Felix.

I want to be one of those people. So I will choose a different way. I will choose to be a peacemaker, a healer and a life-bringer. To the best of my ability, I will try to live well in my place.

Because I believe there does not have to be a hole in the world tomorrow.

-- Steve Goodier

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A Good Life

Image courtesy of MorgueFile

Calvin, of the "Calvin and Hobbes" comic strip fame, once imparted some timeless wisdom: "If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night," he observed, "I'll bet they'd live a lot differently."

I believe he's right. I try to sit outside every night before bedtime to breathe the night air and look at the sky. It's a simple practice. For me, a time of deep relaxation and spiritual cleansing.

Year by bewildering year our world grows more complex. We crave peace in our souls. We long for simplicity in lives that too easily become relentlessly tangled in complicated webs.

One man, David, enjoyed the simple things of life. He sometimes took jobs in the American west at dude ranches, national parks and seasonal resorts.

His brother, however, wanted to entice him to get a "real" job and live in a world surrounded by things that only money can buy. So David's brother often sent him photos of himself enjoying the so-called "good life." He labeled his snapshots "My new sound system" or "My new car."

But the photographs stopped arriving after David responded with a picture of his own. He sent his brother a large poster with a breathtaking view of Wyoming's Grand Teton National Park. On the back was David's message: "My back yard."

I believe I understand how David feels. While his brother was striving for THE Good Life, David aimed for A Good Life. There's a difference.

THE good life requires that we take pleasure in new things; A good life requires that we take pleasure in moments.

To enjoy THE good life we have to get ahead; to enjoy A good life we have to make the trip worthwhile.

THE good life is supported by feeding our pocketbooks; A good life is supported by feeding our souls.

Over a century ago, John Burroughs put it like this: "To find the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter...to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be elated over a bird's nest or a wildflower in spring – these are some of the rewards of the simple life." I call it a good life.

I don't want to collect more stuff at the expense of collecting memories. And I don't want to let making a buck interfere with my making a difference.

I'm already looking forward to tonight when I'll sit outside and look up at the stars.

-- Steve Goodier

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Wherever You Are, Be There

An old story comes from pre-telephone days when a young man applied for a job as a telegraph operator. He answered an ad in the newspaper and went to the telegraph office to await an interview. Though he knew Morse code and was qualified in every other way, seven other applicants were also waiting in the large, noisy office, who were no doubt equally qualified.
 
He saw customers coming and going and heard a telegraph clacking away in the background. He also noticed a sign on the receptionist's counter instructing applicants to fill out a form and wait to be summoned to an inner office for an interview. He filled out the form and sat down to wait.
 
After a few minutes, the young man stood up, crossed the room to the door of the inner office, and walked right in. Naturally the other applicants perked up, wondering why he had been so bold. They talked among themselves and finally determined that, since nobody had been summoned to interview yet, the man would likely be reprimanded for not following instructions and possibly disqualified for the job.
 
Shortly, however, he emerged from the office escorted by the interviewer, who announced to the other applicants, "Thank you all very much for coming, but the job has just been filled."
 
They were all confused and one man spoke up: "Wait a minute – I don't understand. We've been waiting longer than he and we never even got a chance to come in."
 
The employer responded, “Were you listening to the telegraph? All the time you've been sitting here, the telegraph has been ticking out a message, ‘Come in now for your interview.’”
 
Kevin Kelly said, “The only factor becoming scarce in a world of abundance is human attention.” I wish I could say that I relate to the man who got the job, but the truth is that I often identify more with everyone else in the waiting room. When I have a moment to wait, I pull out my phone or listen to an audio-book on my mp3 player. I am too often more engrossed in my interior world than in paying attention to what is happening around me.
 
Yet the man in the story practiced a valuable habit – the habit of living in the present. His motto could have been, “Wherever you are, be there.” If you’re there in person, bring your mind along, too. If you're there physically, also be there emotionally. Give your full attention to others (is there really a better gift?).
 
Wherever you are, be there. Be there as fully as you can. Don’t be fooled by multi-tasking. You are only halfway there when you’re doing something else at the same time. Your mind can fully focus on only one thing at a time.
 
It's about being present and fully alive in the moment. Some people try to live in the past while existing in the present. Too often they find themselves filled with guilt or regrets and missing the now moment. Others find themselves living in the future, only to discover that anxiety and worry are cheating them out of joy today.
 
Don’t live in the past – you’ve already been there. And don’t live in the future, either. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. Live in this moment now – it is sacred and unrepeatable. This moment alone holds valuable gifts that should not be missed.
 
Wherever you are, be there. If you can be fully present now, you’ll know what it means to live.
 
-- Steve Goodier

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Image courtesy of Audrey Johnson