Are You Waiting for Peace?

Are you waiting for “things to calm down” a bit before you can be at peace? Inner peace eludes many people who expect to discover it after things calm down, slow down or finally run down. But some wisdom from antiquity, attributed to French philosopher Montaigne, tells a different story about inner peace.

He tells that when the Greek King Pyrrhus prepared for his expedition into Italy, his wise counselor Cyness drew him aside and implored him to reconsider his aggressive activity. “Sir,” he asked the king, “to what end do you make all this mighty preparation?”

“To make myself master of Italy,” replied King Pyrrhus.

“And what after that is done?” asked his counselor.

“I will pass into Gaul and Spain.” 

“And what then?”

“I will then go to subdue Africa; and lastly, when I have brought the whole world to my subjection, I will sit down and rest content at my own ease.”

“For God’s sake, sir,” replied Cyness. “Tell me what hinders that you may not, if you please, be now in the condition you speak of? Why do you not now, at this instant, settle yourself in the state you seem to aim at and spare all the labor and hazard you interpose?”

Gratefully, we are learning different attitudes today about war and peace. But can Cyness’ advice apply to our hectic and conflicted lives?

What keeps you from the inner peace and contentment you crave now? Must life’s battles be fought and won before you can be satisfied? 

Television personality Dave Garroway spoke about finding peace. He said, “I happen to be one of those people who can afford anything he wants, but I find what I really want, I can't buy at all. I want peace of mind, peace of soul; the kind of peace you have when you don't really want anything."

Peace seems to come less from getting what we want than simply from wanting less.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Brian Auer

How to Improve Your Vision

Did you know that the English word "thanks" comes from the same root word as "think"? And they not only share a similar background, they are related in another way. It seems the more we think, the more we thank. One woman illustrated how thinking and thanking are related in a visit to the eye doctor.

She complained to her ophthalmologist that, as she grew older, her eyesight was getting worse. He examined her eyes and could not be encouraging about the future of her eyesight. But to his surprise, she did not seem to be upset. She told him all she was grateful for: her deceased husband; her children and their families; her friends; the many years she has enjoyed upon this earth; her vast library of memories. She had done a great deal of thinking about these things. "My eyesight is getting worse," she summarized, "but I'm not going to fret over that."

Her doctor later made this observation: "Her eyesight is poor, but her vision is better than most people." She clearly saw what many never see -- all the good in her life. And she was content.

When we take time to think, and make time to thank, we see more clearly.

It sounds like a good way to improve your vision.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Bryan Jones

How to Be Happy for a Lifetime

Image courtesy of kslyesmith

Someone said this about happiness:

To be happy for an hour -- take a nap.
To be happy for a day -- go shopping.
To be happy for a week -- take a vacation.
To be happy for a month -- get married.
To be happy for a year -- inherit a fortune.
To be happy for a lifetime -- help others.

All right – I don’t agree with everything on that list. But I believe the author is exactly right about how to be happy for the rest of your life. Lasting contentment, the most satisfying kind of happiness, can always be found in helping others. And it’s a secret that many people have never discovered.

Marion Preminger stumbled upon it and wrote about where lasting happiness is to be found in her autobiography All I Want Is Everything. Born in Hungary in 1913, Marion was raised in a castle, surrounded by wealth, servants and the notoriety of an aristocratic upbringing.

At a Viennese ball, she met a handsome young man, the son of an Italian doctor. They rushed into a marriage that lasted only a year.

She returned to Vienna to embark on a career of acting. There she fell in love with the German director Otto Preminger. They married and she followed him to America where he began a promising career as a Hollywood movie director. But her new Hollywood lifestyle could not sustain her marriage and Preminger eventually divorced her.

Marion returned to Europe to live the life of a Parisian socialite until 1948. Then everything changed when she read that Dr. Albert Schweitzer was visiting Europe from his home in Africa. She determined to meet with the notable missionary doctor.

She first encountered Schweitzer doing one of the things he loved to do best while visiting Europe -- playing a church organ for his own enjoyment. He invited her to dine with him. After the meal, Marion knew she had finally found what she'd been looking for. She accompanied Schweitzer every day during the remainder of his European visit. He invited Marion to come back to Africa with him and work as an untrained staff member in the Lamberene hospital.

She left her life of status and ease and moved to Africa. Once there, the girl who was raised like a princess became a servant. She changed bandages, bathed bodies and fed lepers. She gave her life away to the poor and, in the midst of it, found the happiness she'd craved for so long.

It was Albert Schweitzer who asserted, "One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve."

However, wherever and whomever we choose to help is unimportant. There are those in need everywhere. But when we figure out how to sincerely help other people, we'll have also learned how to be happy for a lifetime.

-- Steve Goodier

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Can You Wait?

Have you noticed that a lot of us not only want to have this thing or that, but we want to have it NOW? I heard that the average American spends one entire year of life watching television commercials, where they are told again and again that they can have whatever they want and they can have it now.

First we want it. Then we get it. Then we wonder why we wanted it. Then we get it again.

The First National Bank in one Midwest American town came up with a billboard advertising slogan: "Loans make life easier, at FIRST." Yes, at first they do. But later....

I talked with a couple who will be married soon. They mentioned that someone in the family gave them an early wedding gift: a course of study in personal money management. They are learning to be patient and to save their money for whatever they want. I told them that someday they may look back on that gift with great appreciation.

There was a study about children, marshmallows and delayed gratification. Researchers gave children marshmallows to eat. Then they watched to see if the children ate them right away or saved the treats until later. They tracked these children for several years and learned that the "marshmallow savers," those who could delay gratification, turned out to be generally happier and better adjusted later in life. It stands to reason that we feel better when we are in control of our desires and, particularly, our behaviors.

The temptation is to have it NOW. One man wrote to me and said:

Steve,
I have learned that everything in life is instant gratification. I
just don't know the instant it will happen. So I just do what is in front of me to do, be patient, and wait for that instant.

Great advice! I have two questions for you:

1. What do you want to have?
2. Can you wait?

Chances are, if you can answer yes to the second question, you will be sure to find plenty of contentment and peace.

-- Steve Goodier


Image: Freeimages.com/Alison Taylor