Hurry Up And Be Patient

You’ve heard it said, “Hurry up and wait!” But learning to wait calmly is an important part of living. In this age of high-speed connections and instantaneous results, it helps to remember that the Mayflower made its historic voyage across the Atlantic Ocean at about two miles per hour. How did those early settlers occupy their time as they were waiting to arrive?

I love the story of a passenger on Britain’s Imperial Airways, a company that pioneered air travel between England and Australia in the mid-1930s. “If you have time to spare, go by air,” was the popular expression of the day. Airliners were both slow and incapable of flying long distances.

One of the very first flights took off from Croydon Airport near London and flew to northern France where it was delayed extensively due to bad weather. When it arrived in the south of France, one of the motors had failed and it was necessary to wait for another engine to be shipped by sea from England. There were further lengthy delays along the route in Rome, Cairo, the Middle East, etc., until finally the flight had progressed as far as Singapore.

At this point a lady passenger asked the manager in Singapore if he thought the flight would arrive in Australia in the next few weeks because she was expecting a baby shortly.

“My dear lady,” he replied, “you should never have commenced your trip in that condition.”

She replied, “I didn’t.”

We all know about unexpected delays. According to a Timex survey, human beings spend approximately six months of their lives waiting in line for things and about 43 days on telephone hold. Not to mention waiting in doctor’s offices, airport security lines and heavy traffic. Those who take the bus will wait about 27 days of their lives waiting around on the platform or at the bus stop. The list goes on.

Next time you miss a flight, get stuck in traffic or find yourself waiting on hold for customer service, it can be a good time to hurry up and be patient. The sooner you’re patient, the easier your life will become. When you’re patient you can relax and enjoy the ride.

There is great benefit in learning to wait calmly and creatively. Here is a checklist to test your waiting skills:

• Do you expect delays, or do they catch you unawares? Do you anticipate those times when you are likely to have to wait?
• Do you calmly let your inner motor idle though others around you may be stripping their gears? Do you practice calmness and inner peace?
• Do you welcome unexpected delays as a gift of time, which can be used creatively? 
• Do you prepare for delays? Do you have work or entertainment handy when forced to wait? Or do you use the free time to plan ahead or quietly meditate (to get in touch with your soul)?

How did you do with the exercise? Are you making the most of your waiting time? 

Author Joyce Meyer has the right of it when she says, “Patience is not simply the ability to wait - it's how we behave while we're waiting.”

Behave as if you might enjoy it and, well, you might.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Amanda AmiGdalo

How Is Your "Wait Training" Coming Along?

Perhaps you can relate. One man was to meet his wife downtown and spend some time shopping with her. He waited patiently for 15 minutes. Then he waited impatiently for 15 minutes more. He didn’t have a way to contact her.

He began to pace. Seeing one of those old-timey photograph booths nearby (the kind that accepts coins into a slot and takes four shots while you pose on a small bench), he had an idea. He assumed the most ferocious expression he could manage, which wasn’t difficult under the circumstances, and in a few moments he was holding four small prints that shocked even him.

He wrote his wife’s name on the back of the photographs and handed them to a clerk behind the desk. “If you see a small, dark lady with brown eyes and an apologetic expression, apparently looking for someone, would you please give her this?” he asked.

He then returned to his office content that, if a picture is worth a thousand words, then four photos must be a full-blown lecture.

His wife saved those pictures. She carries them in her purse now. Shows them to anyone who asks if she is married… 

How are you with patience? One person calls it “wait training.” Most of us do our fair share of waiting most every day. We wait for people. We wait on traffic and we wait in lines. We wait for the big event. We wait to hear about a new job. We wait to complete school or to retire. We wait to grow up or for maturity in a child. We wait for a decision to be made. 

Patience is an essential quality of a happy life. After all, some things are worth waiting for. As Arnold Glasow reminds us, “You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.” Every day presents plenty of opportunities for wait training.

It’s our choice: we can resent waiting, accept it or try to get good at it. But one thing is certain – we will never avoid it. 

How is your wait training coming along?

--Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Never Edit

Learning To Wait

You might remember comedian Yakov Smirnoff. When he first came to the United States from Russia, he was not prepared for the incredible variety of instant products available in American grocery stores. He says, “On my first shopping trip, I saw powdered milk – you just add water and you get milk. Then I saw powdered orange juice – you just add water and you get orange juice. And then I saw baby powder, and I thought to myself, “What a country!”

I know what he means. I once saw a novelty item - it was a can of dehydrated water. The instructions read: Open can. Just add water.

We live in a world that craves instant gratification; instant satisfaction. Just add water. Ready to eat. Cooks in one minute. No need to wait.

One old story tells of a judge who questioned the defendant. “What are you charged with?” he asked. 

“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the man.”

“That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened.” 

Few of us will go to those extremes to satisfy our desire to “get it now,” but we know what we want and we wish we could have it yesterday. We don’t like to wait.

Yet waiting is a discipline we have to learn if we’re to be happy. Whether we learn to delay gratification or simply learn to be patient, we can’t live well without learning to wait.

There is certainly a place for decisiveness and action, but there is also a place for patience. Have you learned when to wait?

• Wait for guidance...learn to be still.
• Wait for wisdom...it will come with experience.
• Wait for growth...it happens in the fullness of time.
• Wait for the sunrise...there will be another day.
• Wait and be contented...it is a secret to inner peace.

There is a time to act, but there is also a time to wait. Learn to tell what time it is - great things can happen for those who learn to wait. Ralph Waldo Emerson said it well: “Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience."           

-- Steve Goodier 

Image: flickr.com/Wendell

Love Letter To A Cat

A love letter to a cat? Why not? At least Andrew thought it might work. This is an actual love letter written by a boy to his cat.

But before you read the letter, you must understand this about the cat. She is about as affectionate as a cactus. And besides, she goes to great lengths to avoid Andrew. She would rather sleep the day away in one of her many hiding places scattered throughout the boy’s house than be near him. And on one of those rare occasions when she makes an appearance, he can forget about touching her. If he never has anything to do with her, that is all right by the cat.

The boy tries his best to be nice. He looks for her, searching the house for an occupied hiding place, and feels abundantly grateful if he should stumble upon his treasure. He is occasionally allowed to stroke her once or twice before she flits off. He even feeds her, hoping to eventually win her confidence and perhaps even a bit of affection. But he is seldom rewarded with anything like attention.

Now that you know something about the cat, whose name is Mehitabel, by the way, what about the love letter? It was found next to the cat’s food dish. This is what it said: 

“To cat (he couldn’t spell Mehitabel): I love you. Before you love me I will love you more. Love, Andrew. Meow!”

I admire his love for a cat that will not return it. I love you. Before you love me I will love you more. That is the kind of patient love of, perhaps, a parent for a child. 

Or anyone persistently waiting for love to be returned. It’s single-minded. Persevering.

And I think there’s something spiritual about an unrequited love. It’s a little like the dogged love of God for people everywhere. 

There is also something beautifully excessive about a love that says before you love me I will love you more. And to be a little excessive in love is probably okay.

Thank you for teaching us, Andrew.

-- Steve Goodier

Do You Know How to Wait?

Philosopher Joseph-Marie de Maistre said, “To know how to wait is the great secret of success.” 

Comedian Bob Hope would agree. "I grew up with six brothers," he said. "That's how I learned to dance, waiting to get into the bathroom."

Do you know how to wait? Whether or not you share a bathroom with others, you can get plenty of practice. 

A customer struck up a conversation with the clerk in a retail store. “Wow, $17.76,” he said. “The year of the American Declaration of Independence. And exactly 200 years later I was born.”

That began an intense conversation with the employee about interesting historical events. All the while a line formed behind him.

When the customer finally left, the next patron in line impatiently asked what was going on. “Oh, we were just sharing interesting historical fun facts,” the clerk said.

“Well, then," said the irritated customer, "can you tell me what happened the year I started waiting in line?"

As Mark Twain says, “All good things arrive to them that wait -- and don't die in the meantime.”

Do you know how to wait? I’m sure you get plenty of opportunities to practice.

After moving to the city, I grew impatient with the bumper-to-bumper traffic. I decided to keep a harmonica in the glove compartment, along with a beginner's book. When traffic was held up, I took out my harmonica and played. I figured I could either practice patience or practice the harmonica. The harmonica seemed like more fun. 

There’s a great secret to waiting patiently: make it fun. 

My life improved immeasurably when I discovered audiobooks. I know there’s value to being 100% present in everything you do, but I also know that a lot of what I do can be described as mind-numbingly dull. Like waiting in long lines. Commuting in city traffic. And if I’m into a great audiobook, none of it bothers me at all. I actually look forward to relaxing in a line or, when finding myself snarled in traffic, I can spend some uninterrupted time on my book. 

Like I said, there’s a secret to waiting patiently: make it fun. You just might look forward to your next traffic jam.

-- Steve Goodier

Photo:  freeimages.com/James Goneaux

Can You Wait?

Have you noticed that a lot of us not only want to have this thing or that, but we want to have it NOW? I heard that the average American spends one entire year of life watching television commercials, where they are told again and again that they can have whatever they want and they can have it now.

First we want it. Then we get it. Then we wonder why we wanted it. Then we get it again.

The First National Bank in one Midwest American town came up with a billboard advertising slogan: "Loans make life easier, at FIRST." Yes, at first they do. But later....

I talked with a couple who will be married soon. They mentioned that someone in the family gave them an early wedding gift: a course of study in personal money management. They are learning to be patient and to save their money for whatever they want. I told them that someday they may look back on that gift with great appreciation.

There was a study about children, marshmallows and delayed gratification. Researchers gave children marshmallows to eat. Then they watched to see if the children ate them right away or saved the treats until later. They tracked these children for several years and learned that the "marshmallow savers," those who could delay gratification, turned out to be generally happier and better adjusted later in life. It stands to reason that we feel better when we are in control of our desires and, particularly, our behaviors.

The temptation is to have it NOW. One man wrote to me and said:

Steve,
I have learned that everything in life is instant gratification. I
just don't know the instant it will happen. So I just do what is in front of me to do, be patient, and wait for that instant.

Great advice! I have two questions for you:

1. What do you want to have?
2. Can you wait?

Chances are, if you can answer yes to the second question, you will be sure to find plenty of contentment and peace.

-- Steve Goodier


Image: Freeimages.com/Alison Taylor