Three Powerful Words We Need to Use

Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.” Are you free to make mistakes, or do you deny yourself that liberty?

Not everyone feels free to make mistakes. A funny story is told about General George Patton from his World War II days. He once accepted an invitation to dine at a press camp in Africa. Wine was served in canteen cups but, obviously thinking he was served coffee, Patton poured cream into his cup. As he stirred in sugar, Patton was warned that his cup contained red wine and not coffee.

General Patton, whatever his obvious strengths, could never, never be wrong. Without hesitating he replied, “I know. I like my wine this way.” And he drank it. 

Of course, none of us ever likes goofing up, and it isn’t easy to admit when we do happen to blunder. 

I believe that three of life’s most difficult words to say are I was wrong. And particularly in families and among good friends, these are three of the most powerful words we can utter. I was wrong breaks down barriers between people. It brings estranged people together. And it creates a climate where intimacy and love may flourish. You may be surprised at how positively many people respond to the words those simple words. They are words we need to use more often.

Naturally, it is a risk. But to admit when you are wrong is not to imply that you are a “bad” person. Simply an honest one. And true friends will appreciate you all the more for it.

Mahatma Gandhi gives us more help here. He says, “I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.”

Yes, it takes humility to admit fault. And maybe more to retrace your steps - to make it right. But people are happier when they use those three powerful words and allow themselves the occasional freedom to be wrong. It’s a gift they give themselves.

It is really okay to slip up, especially if we own up. 

-- Steve Goodier

Image: General George Patton, public domain

Good Leaders Are Good Followers

Image courtesy of Dan Colcer

A young woman was filling out an application for college when she came across the question: Are you a leader? She thought she had better be brutally honest, so she answered, "No." She was convinced when she sent the application in that she'd never hear from them because of that answer.
 
But she received a letter back from the school that read: "We have reviewed numerous applications and, to date, there will be some 1,452 new leaders attending school next year. We have decided to accept your application because we felt it was imperative that they have at least one follower."
 
Should all of us be leaders all of the time? Isn’t there a time to follow as well as lead?
 
One man likes to tell about the day he purchased a novelty sign and hung it on his office door. The sign read: "I'm the boss." The next day he came to work he noticed that the office comedian affixed a sticky note to his door that read, "Your wife called. She wants her sign back."
 
He may be the boss at work, but home is different altogether. In marriage and family as well as most social relationships, sometimes we lead and sometimes we follow the lead of another. If the so-called boss happens to be an effective leader at work, he has probably learned that getting his own way all of the time does not produce good results. As it turns out, the best leaders are also excellent followers. Why?
 
1. Good leaders share leadership. They know when to follow and when to lead.
 
2. Good leaders build their skills on following role models for the behaviors they want to learn. What they admire in another, they copy.
 
3. Good leaders exhibit humility. They remain open to suggestion. When they need it, they ask for help and follow good advice.
 
In other words, good leaders are also good followers. They know when to follow in the footsteps of others and when to leave tracks of their own.
 
You may be the boss, but you will be a leader when you also learn how to follow.
 
-- Steve Goodier


 "LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page. 

SHARE this message on Facebook

 

Stoop and Drink

There are some things I think I do pretty well. There are others that need improvement and still others that are probably beyond anything I can help. I picked up golf for a while. How hard could it be, I wondered? I soon learned. It didn’t take long before I was consistently shooting in the lower seventies. Pretty much every hole.

Two people actually gave up working with me to improve my game. Which is okay – I have more time now for doing things less frustrating, like solving the problem of world peace.

I heard of a hotel that has a water fountain in the lobby that is operated by an infra-red beam of light. When a thirsty person wants a drink, she simply bends down and the water automatically turns on. There is a sign above the water cooler that reads, "Stoop and drink."

What an interesting metaphor for a life attitude. Stoop and drink. Especially when we have something to learn, when we want to drink from the fountain of knowledge, we may need to stoop and drink.

Like Albert Einstein. He once arrived in London carrying his violin case. After greeting him, an old friend asked, "You still play the violin, Albert?"

The mathematical genius nodded and said, “Yes, but not very well. My teacher says, ‘The trouble with you, Mr. Einstein, is that you can't count.’”

He knew that he had much to learn if he were to play the violin well. And he was wise enough to know that he would learn better if could approach it with a sense of humility; he had to stoop in order to drink.

Have you ever skied? Even if you’re an adult, if you’ve never attempted downhill skiing you would do well to begin by taking a lesson on the beginner’s slope. Yes, you may be the only person in the group over four feet tall, and  you may also be the only one to slide down the slope backward while little people are whizzing by. Believe me, I know. But you’ll never get the hang of it unless you learn the fundamentals. If you stoop to take a lesson or two, you can leave the bunny slope behind forever.

Author Barbara Sher says something interesting about this approach to learning new things. She says that you “can learn new things at any time in your life if you're willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you.”

I think she’s right. I takes some stooping to approach something new like a beginner. But that is the way we learn best -- at any age.

Over the years I’ve come to realize that anybody can teach me, if I let them. Young people and old people, the uneducated and the learned -- anyone can be a teacher. But not anyone can be a learner. It takes the right kind of attitude to learn. But if I’m able to stoop, I’ll have plenty to drink.

-- Steve Goodier


Image: flickr.com/Anne Davis 773

Share this on FaceBook orTwitter or your favorite blog / Read more / Post a comment 

A Humble Spirit

In his own eyes, Mike was the most popular guy around. “A lot of women are gonna be totally miserable when I marry,” he boasted to his date.

“Really?” she said. “And just how many women are you intending to marry?” (Maybe you knew that guy.)

Sometimes a little bit of humble pie goes well with a rich meal.

Actually, what passes for conceit in many people is often just a plea for attention. A poor sense of self may cause one to want to be the prominent star in every constellation. Humility, on the other hand, does not require that one shine less brightly than others, simply that all be given opportunity to shine.

That great 19th Century African American educator Booker T. Washington exemplified the power of a simple and modest spirit. A story is told of a day when Washington, then a professor at Tuskegee Institute in Alabama, happened to pass the mansion of a wealthy woman as he walked to work.

The woman did not recognize him and called out, “Hey you! Come here! I need some wood chopped!” She was a product of her southern post-Civil War culture and simply perceived him as a black man who was there to do her bidding.

Without a word, Dr. Washington peeled off his jacket, picked up the ax and went to work. He not only cut a large pile of wood, he also carried the firewood into the house and arranged it neatly by the fireplace.

He had scarcely left when a servant said to the woman, “I guess you didn’t recognize him, ma’am, but that was Professor Washington!”

Embarrassed and ashamed, the woman hurried over to Tuskegee Institute to apologize. The great educator respectfully replied: “There’s no need to apologize, madam. I’m delighted to do favors for my friends.”

The professor may have taught one of his greatest lessons that day. It was a lesson about astronomy: he taught that every star can shine without out-shining all the others. It was a lesson about peace: he taught how self-interest must often be set aside for the good of the whole. And it was a lesson about spirituality: he taught about the power of a meek and humble spirit in a world where aggression is too-often confused with strength.

These are lessons we are still learning.

-- Steve Goodier

Image by Toppenberg