Where Change Begins

What final result are you trying to achieve? In the mid-1950s, a flamboyant, but unknown, American pianist had dreams of performing in the Hollywood Bowl. He gathered some money, rented the Hollywood Bowl on an off night, showed up wearing a tuxedo and played a full concert on a grand piano to absolutely no audience at all. (I understand he even placed a beautiful vase of long stemmed roses on the piano for the performance.)

Except that the hall was empty, he lived his dream. Then he kept that dream alive until, four years later to the very night, Liberace performed at the Hollywood Bowl before a capacity, standing-room-only crowd.

Several years prior, it was Harry Emerson Fosdick who voiced a new thought about self-transformation. He said, “Hold a picture of yourself long and steadily enough in your mind’s eye and you will be drawn toward it. Picture yourself vividly as defeated and that alone will make victory impossible. Picture yourself vividly as winning and that alone will contribute immeasurably to success. Great living starts with a picture, held in your imagination of what you would like to do or be.”

Liberace held a picture in his mind of himself performing before a sellout crowd at Hollywood Bowl. He made that picture more vivid by playing a full concert on stage. And that mental image, combined with hard work, skill and his trademark showmanship, contributed immensely to his eventual success.

Whether you want to simply change a habit, change an attitude or change your life...can you “see” the person you want to be? Because that is where change begins.

-- Steve Goodier


Image: flickr.com/Alan Light

We Are Meant For The Skies

A chauffeur worked for a woman who liked to take her cat with her on errands.

During one trip, the uniformed driver dropped her at a shopping mall before refueling. The cat remained in the car, lounging on top of the limousine's back seat.

The confused service station attendant stole several glances at the feline passenger relaxing in back. Finally, he asked: "Sir, is that cat someone important?"

I don’t know about the cat, but I’ve wasted too many years not feeling especially important. Not that I am or ever have been any more important than anybody else. But my low self esteem as a child and young adult always had me wishing I could measure up to others. I failed to see who I really was and struggled to become the person I felt I could be.

The following story reminds me how important a healthy self-image really is: 

A man found an eagle’s egg and put it in a nest of a barnyard hen. The eagle hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them. All his life, the eagle did what the barnyard chicks did, thinking he was a barnyard chicken. He scratched the earth for worms and insects. He clucked and cackled. And he thrashed his wings and flew a few feet in the air.

Years passed and the eagle grew very old. One day he saw a magnificent bird above him in the cloudless sky. It glided in graceful majesty among powerful wind currents, with scarcely a beat of its strong, golden wings. 

The old eagle looked up in awe. “Who’s that?” he asked. 

“That’s the eagle, the king of the birds,” said his neighbor. “He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth – we’re chickens.” 

So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for that is what he thought he was. (Author unknown)

You and I were meant for the skies – not the chicken coop. Who will believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself?

-- Steve Goodier

Image: freeimages.com/Niall Crotty

Creating the Future You

Image by Kishore Nagarigari

[Today's reading is longer than usual. I wrote it as a short chapter of a new book by Joan Herrmann titled Live A Good Life. When the book is published, I'll let you know how you can get a copy. I hope you can take a few extra minutes to enjoy today's message.]

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Maybe you’ve had this experience. I recall one afternoon when I attended a parent-teacher conference for my second-grade son. We sat in the children’s chairs. The seat was about a foot off the ground and certainly not made for adults. Those chairs were designed for little people. And as I sat uncomfortably waiting for the conference to begin, I had time to think about how much bigger I’ve gotten over the years. I clearly don’t fit into the small furniture anymore.

We all grow. And, whether we are aware of it or not, we all change. We not only grow physically, we change in other ways. For instance, we grow in our roles. I occasionally asked my adolescent kids, “How do you think you’re doing raising your parents?” I understood that I had to continually change my methods of parenting if I were to relate well to my children as they matured.

One mother told of how she changed as a parent. She mentioned that when her first baby coughed or sneezed, they’d practically rush her to the hospital. But Mom mellowed over the years. One day her youngest swallowed a dime. No hospital visits. No histrionics. She just said, “You know, don’t you, that the dime will come out of your allowance?”

We grow in our roles. And we grow in other ways also. We grow mentally. I hope you are wiser and more knowledgeable today than you were in the past.

And we grow emotionally. Are you better at handling adversity today? Are you a kinder, more generous person? Do you find it easier to love and forgive? Dr. Karl Menninger said this about love and growth: “We do not fall in love, we grow in love and love grows in us.” Is love growing in you?

We also have the chance to grow in another important way -- spiritually. I hope your spirituality is not the same as it was when you were a child. You probably discovered that the spirituality that worked so well for you back then no longer satisfies.

Many children were taught to pray something like this: “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray thee Lord my soul to keep. And if I die before I wake, I pray thee Lord my soul to take.” (Actually, that prayer is a  little brutal when you think about it and I’m told that it originated from a time when plagues swept Europe and children feared that they indeed may not awaken from sleep.) But, if you’re like most people, your spirituality matured as you grew up. A child may pray, “Give me…” or “Help me...” When she becomes an adult, she may find herself more often praying, “Use me….” or simply “Thank you.”

We never stop growing and changing. We grow firmer or more flexible in our attitudes. We develop new skills and abilities. We grow in vision and we grow in confidence. We may also change in negative ways if we’re not careful. We may grow more fearful, more cynical or insensitive to others. We may even find ourselves becoming people we don’t like very much. Life is all about growing and changing.

There are few exceptions to this rule. In fact, the only folks I know that never change reside in communities we call cemeteries.

One woman was shopping for Thanksgiving supper. None of the turkeys she found were large enough to feed her family. “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” she asked the young man stocking the shelves. “No, ma’am,” he said. “They’re all dead.”

If we’re dead, we won’t grow. But if we’re alive, we will. The only question is, will you decide HOW you want to grow? Will you decide to take responsibility for shaping your life? Because, if you don’t make a decision about how you’re going to grow, life will make it for you. If you’re not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are in the process of becoming someone you had no intention of being.

I find one question that, if asked repeatedly, has an amazing power to put intentional growth on the fast track. This one question, more than anything else, can help you take control of how you will grow and change. The question is, “What would the person I want to become do in this situation?” That question alone will help you make different decisions, change the way you act and even change the way you think. That one question, asked regularly, may be the single most important way to take control of how you will grow in body, mind, emotions and spirit. Let me show you how it works.

What if you lost your job or suffered a serious financial setback? You might want to just give up. Instead, ask the question, “What would the person I want to become do in this situation?” Then decide to do it. You may not feel at all hopeful. You may even be afraid. But if the person you want to become is an optimistic and courageous person, you might decide not to react in fear. Instead, you might act as if you had no fear of failure and courageously put yourself out there for new employment opportunities. Or you may look at your job loss as an chance to go back to school instead of wasting time on regrets, depression or fearful inaction.

Or how about this? Let’s say you were betrayed or somehow deeply hurt by a trusted friend or relative. You may want to strike back in an equally hurtful way, or simply have nothing to do with her anymore. Instead, ask the question, “What would the person I want to become do in this situation?” Then act on that answer. You probably feel anger and more pain than you care to admit, but but if the person you want to become is an emotionally strong individual, you might decide to act with strength, rather than licking your wounds. You might choose an appropriate way to confront that friend and tell her how you feel, talk the problem through and even be ready to forgive if a valued relationship can be restored.

Asking yourself this question regularly and then acting on your answer will shape you bit by bit into a person you admire and respect. No situation is too big or too small. It works equally well with daily irritants and life’s bigger challenges.

Take road rage. It is irritating to be honked at or cut off in traffic by an angry driver. You may find yourself reacting in a flash of temper. Next time that occurs, ask the question, “What would the person I want to become do in this situation?” Then choose, in that moment, a different way to respond. If the future you, the person you want to become, were abundantly patient and understanding, you might decide to laugh it off and use the opportunity to work on your sense of humor or to spend the next 15 minutes practicing peace of mind.

Or perhaps you are concerned about some of life’s weightier problems, such as the plight of the poor. But the problems seem overwhelming you feel stymied. As a result, you do little to help. Instead, ask the question, “What would the person I want to become do in this situation?” Then actually do it. If you imagine that the person you want to become is generous and engaged in social problems, you might find a local project and volunteer time and, if possible, money. You would figure out how to make volunteer service and generosity, or even advocacy for the poor, part of your increasingly engaged lifestyle.

I think George Bernard Shaw was right when he said, “Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” Creating yourself may be the most vital and important job you do. It is the task of every day. And it is also an important gift you give yourself -- the gift of creating the person you want to be.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that you’re not wonderful now. You might be just the person you need to be in this moment. Enjoy yourself. Even celebrate yourself. After all, it took a lifetime to get where you are today! But remember...someone else is waiting ahead -- a different version of you. And you have the opportunity to create that person, little by little, every day.

-- Steve Goodier

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I Don’t Know How to Make a Turtle

Image by Teresa DownUnder

I recently read about a study of ninety top leaders in a variety of fields. Interviewers were trying to determine just what it is that sets leaders apart. They discovered that, for one thing, those who rise to the top of their professions share a never-ending capacity to develop and improve their skills. The key concept here is “never-ending.” They know how important it is to always increase their knowledge and hone their skills.

But what about the rest of us? Author M. Scott Peck said, “All my life I used to wonder what I would become when I grew up. Then, about seven years ago, I realized that I was never going to grow up -- that growing is an ever ongoing process.” I agree. Growing, learning, developing… the process is ongoing. And those who want to live fully will intentionally make learning and growth a lifelong habit.

I once visited a friend who had just celebrated her 80th birthday. She talked with much enthusiasm about a quilt she was making for her great-grandson Loren. She was almost finished -- everything except the center square which she had saved for last. She wanted that to be something special that Loren would particularly like, so she asked him what he would like her to make for the all-important center piece. The little boy replied, “I would like a turtle, please.”  

The problem was that she had never made a turtle and wasn’t sure if she could. So she tried to redirect him. “How about a dog?” she suggested. “Or a house?” She had done those before.

But little Loren, too young to sense her discomfort, persisted. “No thank you, Gramma. I think I would like a turtle.”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like something else? You see, I don’t think I know how to make a turtle.”

Now this was something he didn’t expect. Gramma, who seemed to know how to do everything, even make quilts, didn’t know how to make a turtle.

At first he looked perplexed. Then he must have thought of the many times his own parents encouraged him, because what came out next welled up from a desire to be helpful: “Well, Gramma,” he said pensively, “I think you’re old enough to learn.”

Gramma laughed. “Yes, I suppose I’m old enough to learn.” And since she was a believer that she could do whatever she set her mind to, she set it to learning this new task. When she finished the quilt, it had a turtle right in the middle.

My friend was especially proud of that quilt. And she discovered that Loren was right: she was old enough (and she was also young enough) to learn.

You may or may not want to be a top leader in your field. It doesn’t matter. But when you decide to explore new directions every day, to never stop learning and growing, the most wonderful things can happen.
  
-- Steve Goodier

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Getting to Your Life Work

Image by John Haslam

It might be more important than you realize...

A silly story is told about a farmer who stopped by his neighbors' home to let them know them that their son was stuck in a mud hole. "How deep is he sunk?" the boy's father asked.

"About to his knees," the farmer replied. He looked decidedly unconcerned.

"Well," said the father, "only up to his knees -- we've got time to set awhile an' jaw before we go."

"I don't think so," the visitor answered. "He's in head first."
   
As ridiculous as it is, the story suggests that there is a time to wait and there is a time to act. Wisdom is knowing which to do.

Some of us err on the side of jumping in and doing without thinking it through first. I have done that more than once. I've acted impulsively and regretted my haste later.

However, I sometimes catch myself erring on the other side. I too often over-think a project or problem and put off doing anything about it almost indefinitely. Which may not be a problem if I postpone a little project around the house or reading a particular book on my shelf. The project and the book will still be there tomorrow. Some things can wait with no dire consequences and I don't want to be enslaved by my to-do list.

But what if we're talking about something important...like fixing a relationship or making needed life changes? I call that life work. Though usually not urgent, it is some of the most important work a person can do. And the cost of putting off vital life work is often higher than one might realize. Broken relationships that could have been satisfying bring heartache. Attitudinal or behavioral changes never addressed will impede your personal growth and happiness for years. And what about those beautiful life dreams never pursued? Life work.

I appreciate these words from writer Og Mandino: “To be always intending to make a new and better life but never to find time to set about it is as…to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to the next until you’re dead.” It never seems very urgent any particular day, but to leave crucial life work behind can be one of the most destructive decisions a person can make.

Here is an important question. A year from now how will you feel about not beginning that life work you may be putting off today? Just beginning it may be all that is needed for now.

Since I began this piece with a silly story, let me end with another one. A golfer had an absolutely horrible day at the links. His ball lay on an anthill and he swung viciously with a five-iron. Again and again he missed the ball and chopped away at the hill, killing ants and sending sand flying through the air. One frightened ant turned to another and said in panic, “We’d better get on the ball if we want to stay alive!”

And that's the point -- if you have been putting off important life work, then this is your nudge to get on the ball.

I guarantee this...a year from now you'll be glad you did.

-- Steve Goodier

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Let Go or Get Dragged

Image by Lee Wright

Do you know who the hardest person to love is?

The name "Benedict Arnold" is synonymous with "traitor." But he was actually a loyal citizen of what was to become the United States, a gallant soldier and a five-star general. Wounded twice in battle, he was highly respected for his military leadership. He even enjoyed the friendship of George Washington.

Arnold never thought he received the recognition he deserved. During the American Revolutionary War, he saw five subordinates promoted over him, and the blow to his esteem was more than he could manage. The injury to his pride was far greater than those physical injuries he sustained in battle. So he laid plans for revenge.

In 1780, he attempted to betray vital West Point to the British. He later moved to England and was paid a sum of money to compensate for his property loss, but he was never fully accepted in British society. He eventually returned to trading and died a mostly unsuccessful and unhappy man.

Mary Kay Ash (of Mary Kay Cosmetics) said, “There are two things people want more than sex and money -- praise and recognition.” Benedict Arnold is an unfortunate example.

Interestingly, do you know who is the most difficult person to love? It is easy to love friends and not too difficult to love those less fortunate than ourselves. It certainly isn't easy loving enemies, but sometimes the person most difficult to love is the one who is MORE fortunate than we are. The one who receives the promotion we deserved. The one who gets the recognition we desired, the honor we sought or the affections of the lover we had hoped to win. It is easy to resent those who seem to be more fortunate – those who “get all the breaks.”

But as one person said to me, "Let go or get dragged. Unless you let things go, you should be prepared to have that thing drag you around until you have to let it go."

Jealousy? Let go or get dragged.

A desperate need to be appreciated or loved? Let go or get dragged.

A need for recognition that simply isn't coming? Let go or get dragged.

A desire to get credit for your hard work – credit that is going to someone else? Let go or get dragged.

We've all felt these things. And if we want to move beyond them in a healthy way, the answer is to let go or get dragged.

Besides, if you ever want to grab onto something good, you'll need a free hand.

-- Steve Goodier

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Use Your Greatest Power

 

Do you know what it is?

A little book that had a huge affect on me was written by Martin Kohe and titled Your Greatest Power. I read it when I was young. Kohe makes a convincing case that your greatest power is your power to choose. He challenges his readers to use their greatest power.

Kohe relates an interesting story about Benjamin Franklin, one of the great Founding Fathers of the United States. Franklin did something remarkable early in his adult life. At age 20 he was keenly aware of so-called character defects that hindered him. He noticed that he had difficulty getting along with people. He tended to argue too much. He had trouble making and keeping friends. The list continued.

Franklin wanted to do something about it. So he made a choice. He chose to examine his own personality and make a list of what he considered undesirable personality traits. Then he chose 13 virtues he wanted to enhance in his life, each one designed to help him become a better person. They were:

1. To be temperate, especially in the consumption of food and alcohol.
2. To practice silence and to speak only words that benefit others.
3. To live an orderly life.
4. To resolutely do what ought to be done.
5. To practice frugality.
6. To work diligently and manage time well.
7. To be sincere and honest.
8. To do what is right and just.
9. To be moderate in all things.
10. To practice cleanliness.
11. To remain tranquil and calm, particularly in situations that cannot be avoided.
12. To practice sexual constraint.
13. To learn humility by imitating the figures of Jesus and Socrates.

(He added that last one at the suggestion of a friend who noted that he might be too conceited.)

It was New Year's Day. Franklin finished his list and determined to work on each virtue for a week. He did this for an entire year, spending four weeks total on each, until he developed new habits.

Benjamin Franklin was known for one of the finest personalities in America. People looked up to him and admired him. Later in his life, when the colonies needed help from France, they sent Franklin. The French liked him and gave him what he wanted. And it all began with his deciding to use his greatest power – his power to choose. When he chose to make needed life changes, everything was different.

Suppose Franklin had chosen to go through life without using his greatest power. Suppose he reasoned that there was really nothing he could do about himself. Would France have supported the colonies? Would Americans have rallied behind his ideas? The history of his new-born country may have been significantly different.

It's abundantly clear to me that one good wish changes nothing. But one good decision changes everything. My power to choose, to make a good decision, spells the difference between simply wishing and making real life changes.

Are you using your greatest power? What if you were to examine your life and make a list of desired personality traits? I did that, like Franklin, for a full year. Only my traits were different. I wanted to bring qualities into my life that I felt were lacking, or at least in need of a boost. The qualities I chose were the biblical fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness and self control. I focused on each for a week and started the list all over every nine weeks.

I noticed that, after a year, those qualities were more apparent. I was growing in new directions. But something else happened, too. The daily discipline and focus taught me the life-long habit of making needed changes by bringing positive traits into my life.

Your power to choose can never be taken from you. It can be neglected and it can be ignored. But if used, it can make all the difference.

Poet Susan Polis Schutz puts it this way:

"This life is yours.
Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well.
Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly.
Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature.
Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you.
Take the power to make your life happy."

Use your greatest power. You may not change history, but you will certainly change your future.

-- Steve Goodier


Image by Dodgerton Skillhause

Tending to Your Inner Life

Image by Bert van 't Hul

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."

The lawyers squirmed as he continued. To the one on his left he said, "You gave me $15,000." To the other, he said, "And you, gave me $10,000."

The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out some cash. Handing it to the first one, he said, "Now then, I'm returning $5,000 and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits."

Where is a person of character when you need one?

A whole and healthy life -- a life of character and integrity -- is shaped from the inside. Author Anthony J. D'Angelo says that “the greatest gift you can ever give yourself is a little bit of your own attention.” Authenticity has little to do with outward appearances, or even reputations. It's all about giving your life, especially your inner life, the attention it needs so you may grow into a person you can fully respect. You might say it's an inside job.

But becoming that person doesn't happen all at once. An authentic and genuine life grows like a sturdy tree. And like a tree, it grows slowly.

Every time you make a different and better decision, it grows a little. Every time you choose to do the right thing, even when nobody would find out otherwise, it grows a little. Every time you act with compassion, relinquish your right to strike back, take a courageous stand, admit fault or accept responsibility, it grows a little.

A life of character is like a well-tended tree. And if your life is a gift given to you, then what you do with it is the gift you return. But be patient.

No work you'll ever complete;
no project you'll ever attempt;
no skill you'll ever master;
no book you'll ever write;
no race you'll ever run;
no sculpture you'll ever create;
no task you'll ever perform;
no structure you'll ever build;
nothing you will ever do --
is more important than the life you shape
one day at a time.

Tend to your inner life, give it the attention it needs, and I promise you one thing: you won't be disappointed with the results.

– Steve Goodier 

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When You're Root-Bound

Image by Anton Malan

Our family enjoys a beautiful indoor potted plant that has been with us for over three decades. It has accompanied us through tough years and good times. It has lived with us in six different communities. Some days I think it may live forever, but it once died.

The plant did well for about twenty years, but then began to sag and discolor. We watered it. We fed it. We coddled it. We even talked to it. But leaves and branches drooped lower each day as its life slowly ebbed away. We finally plucked a few half-dead leaves, re-rooted them in a jar of water and planted them in a small pot.

The new small plant grew strong and healthy. But the original finally died. When we dug it out of its ceramic pot we could see why – its roots were a tangle of knots. They had grown so massive they threatened to burst the sides of the pot that held them in. Our once-beautiful plant died because it outgrew its environment – it became root-bound.

People, too, can become root-bound. When they are committed to personal growth and development, when they make the kinds of changes in their lives that lead to greater fulfillment and happiness, they often discover they have outgrown their environment.

I know of a man who was offered a job at a salary higher than he had ever made in his life. But after careful consideration, he declined the position.

His would-be employer was amazed that he turned down the offer. “What’s the matter?” he asked. “Isn't the salary big enough?”

“The salary is fine,” the man said. “It’s the job that’s not big enough.”

At one time he could have happily done the work and enjoyed the money. But he knew now the job would not challenge him and he'd eventually become dissatisfied. He would feel root-bound.

The problem was that he had changed. He had out-grown the job that was offered.

People interested in change and personal development need larger and larger environments in which to live. Their views expand. Their perspectives broaden. Their interests change. They seek bigger challenges. And they need people in their lives who will make room for their growth.

As you grow in these ways, you may discover that you've become root-bound. As Bob Dylan sings, “He not busy being born is busy dying.” My plant was busy dying. If your new-found growth causes you to push against the old ways, you may need to realize you are bigger now and accommodate those changes.

It's not uncommon to become root-bound. It happens when you're busy being born. It just means it's time for a new pot.

– Steve Goodier

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On Sharks and People

Image courtesy of paulabflat

One man sat at a stop light. The woman in front of him was going through papers on the seat of her car, and when the light changed to green she didn't go. A green light is not a suggestion, you know, it is more of a commandment. But she didn't notice.

When the light turned red again, she still had not moved. The man in the car behind her now started screaming epithets and beating on his steering wheel.

A policeman tapped on his windshield. "You can't arrest me for hollering in my car," the man said. The cop asked for his license and registration, returned to his car, talked on the radio for a while and finally handed the papers back. The driver protested, "I knew you couldn't cite me for yelling in my own car!"

The officer replied, "I didn't want to cite you for shouting in your car. But I was behind you at the light and saw you screaming and beating your steering wheel. I said to myself, 'That guy is out of control. He's going to hurt someone.' Then I noticed your 'Love Is a Choice' and 'Give Peace a Chance' bumper stickers and I was sure you stole the car."

What the signs on his vehicle said about him and the way he actually behaved looked like, well, two different people. But let's not be too critical. Are we always the people we want to be? I believe in love and justice, forgiveness and second chances and generosity – but I don't always live up to the ideals I profess. 

It helps me to think of sharks. We're told that some kinds of sharks can't breathe unless they swim. They get oxygen from the movement of the sea over their gills and they can only make this happen by constantly moving through the water. In other words, they must keep moving forward to live.

Likewise, humans who want to live well must also keep moving forward. Forward toward the people we want to be. Forward toward our goals and ideals. Change is almost always incremental – a little bit each day. But we must keep moving forward.

As author Marianne Williamson says, “There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” But I find great passion in stretching a little farther than I think I can. I hang on to the belief that it is better to reach too far and fall short than to settle for mediocrity and succeed.

Yes, I don't always give peace a chance and I don't always choose love first. And more often than I care to admit, the person I am today doesn't wholly resemble the one I hope to be tomorrow. But all of that is all right, so long as I keep moving forward, little by little, every day.

Life demands that sharks and people keep moving forward.

-- Steve Goodier

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Imagination Power

Image courtesy of Bartek Ambrozik

One of your greatest powers is ... your imagination.

Let me explain. William James was a philosopher and one of the leading thinkers a century ago. He said this about the power of the mind: “Anything you may hold firmly in your imagination can be yours.” He believed there was tremendous power in imagination and wrote in length about how humans can bring about significant positive changes in their attitudes, behaviors and relationships by first holding a vivid image of their best selves, or the person they want to become, in their imagination.

In his book The Winner's Edge, writer Denis Waitley tells of high school basketball players who learned the power of holding something firmly in their imaginations. The students were divided into three groups. Group One was told not to practice shooting free throws for one month. Group Two was told to practice shooting free throws in the gym every afternoon for a month. Group Three was told to IMAGINE shooting free throws every afternoon for one hour for a month. (Frankly, I can hardly “imagine” a group of athletes, after sitting in class all day, dressing out, going to the gym, sitting in the bleachers and just thinking about shooting free throws for an hour every day. I suppose it's all in the name of research.)

But look at these results. Group One, the no-practice group, slipped slightly in their percentage free-throw average. Group Two, the students that practiced, increased their accuracy by about two percentage points. Group Three, the ones who imagined shooting, also increased about two percentage points – the same as the group that practiced.

Neuroscience is just now discovering that there are biological reasons for this phenomenon William James talked about so long ago. But here is the point. Do you want to excel at some endeavor? Do you want to improve your outlook? Is there a skill you'd like to perfect? Do you want better relationships? Or would you like to replace your fear of something, such as speaking in public or heading up a project, with more confidence and courage? If so, then mental practice, holding a vivid image of what you want in your mind, is as important as physical practice. The time you spend "seeing" in your mind what you are trying to accomplish actually helps to bring it to pass.

I don't mean we have to sit down and imagine something for an hour every day. It's as simple as holding a vivid mental picture of what you truly desire and returning to it as often as possible.

Imagine your success. Visualize doing that thing you fear. Get it in your mind. Then imagine your success in that area again and again, like free throws going into the basket. What does it look like to be confident? How does it look to be actually doing the thing you're afraid to do? How does it feel? Can you imagine it in detail? In a short time, you will discover that things really are changing for you.

And after that, well, just imagine what else you can do.

-- Steve Goodier

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We Can Get Bigger

I’ve never followed boxing closely, but I chuckle at the attitude of a high school boxing coach. Some of the new athletes were, let’s say, better suited for other activities. One of his boys worked furiously for a couple of rounds, but never connected with anything that might be construed as a punch. Nevertheless, he asked, “What do you think, Coach? Have I done him any damage?”
 
“No,” said a bewildered coach. “But keep on swinging. The draft might give him a cold.”
 
Slim as it is, that might be his only chance to win. And we’ve all been there, haven’t we? Slim to none are sometimes the best odds we can hold out for. Those were about the odds one may have given to early mountaineers who attempted Mt. Everest.
 
It took 32 years of failures for dedicated climbers to reach the top of Mt. Everest, a peak scaled so often now it hardly makes the newspaper. At over 29,000 feet of altitude, snow never melts atop the peak. Sometimes winds at the summit reach 200 miles per hour.
 
George Leigh-Mallory is first recorded as attempting the climb in 1921. On his third try, in June of 1924, he disappeared into the mist and was never seen alive again. The mountain had won. But friends of Mallory one day gazed upon a large picture of the mountain and declared, “Mt. Everest, you defeated us once. You defeated us twice. You defeated us three times. But, Mt. Everest, we shall someday defeat you because you can’t get any bigger – and we can.”
 
Eight more attempts were made on the mountain resulting in eight more failures. But finally, along came Edmund Hillary in 1953 who, along with his guide, Tenzing Norgay, reached the summit for the first time.
 
For years one attempt after another ended in discouragement. But they knew they could get bigger. It’s true, we can always get bigger. Bigger in ability, bigger in experience, bigger in wisdom, bigger in faith. We can always get bigger.
 
And besides, failure is rarely fatal. Every time we fail, we experience a unique opportunity to grow, to get bigger.
 
I am not a fan of failure. But because of it, I am bigger now than I have ever been. I’m big enough today to handle most anything that comes my way. And what’s better, I’m not done growing.
 
What I know is this: when I need to, I can always get bigger.
 
-- Steve Goodier

Something WILL Grow There

Image courtesy of Samuel Rosa

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
 
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
 
"No ma'am,” he replied, “they're dead."
 
No, the turkeys won’t get any bigger. But you and I can bigger – at least on the inside. There is no reason to stop growing as long as we’re alive. In fact, I intend to spend the rest of my life growing and changing.
 
My Internet friend Friar Brian Cavanaugh tells a funny story about growth. He relates an experience at occurred during seminary days in his book More Sower's Seeds: Second Planting. He and two friends thought to plant a small vegetable garden outside their house of studies. It would consist of tomatoes, squash and cucumbers and the only financial investment required was for them to rent a rake, a pickax and a hoe. The urban environment didn’t allow much space for a garden, but they determined that a small, sunny area of the stone-covered dirt parking lot could work well. However, permission would be needed and they feared that getting the superior’s okay might be no easy task.
 
The three seminarians explained their idea to him. His response was a tilt of the head a pronouncement. “You’re wasting your time. Nothing will grow there.” But he allowed them to go ahead if that was what they wanted to do.
 
Reluctant permission is still permission and the three young men began work. First they raked stones and outlined the garden. Then they slammed their pickax into hard dirt, turning clumps of earth upside down. What they discovered just a few inches beneath the surface brought smiles to their faces. It was a gardener’s dream: dark, composted, fertile soil, likely the result of a former refuse area. Still grinning broadly, all three looked at one another and said in unison, “Ah, nothing will grow there!”
 
The garden, though small, turned out to be spectacular. In fact, tomatoes grew so vigorously they were re-staked twice and finally topped off at seven feet tall. Nothing will grow there indeed!
 
Don’t believe the words “nothing will grow there.” Especially when assessing your own life. As long as you are alive you can grow and change. You don’t have to stay the way you are. Almost anything you desire can grow within you.
 
What do you need? Courage for difficult task? Hope and optimism in your despair? Strength or persistence? Faith in something greater than yourself? Rekindled trust in other people?
 
What is it you need? Deeper understanding? A greater capacity for love? Inner peace or joy? Don’t believe that nothing will grow there. When you assess your own life, consider it with the eye of a gardener. Underneath the surface lies rich, fertile soil waiting to nurture the seeds you sow. Even more than you can imagine will grow there if given a chance.
 
I like the observation of writer George Eliot, "It's never too late to be who you might have been." You may not always see the potential for growth, but it is there. All the rich compost you need is hidden just beneath the surface.
 
Plant it. Cultivate it. Tend it. Something WILL grow there – believe it. And it will be magnificent.

-- Steve Goodier

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