A Golden Chain of Kindness

Image by Stephen Eastop

Writer and philosopher Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, "Kindness is the golden chain by which society is bound together." But I was not thinking about a golden chain of kindness one day when a dilapidated automobile, possibly held together with glue and wire, parked in front of the house. During those years, we lived in a small mountain town next to a freeway. Our home was located across the street from the church I served, and travelers in need frequently found their way to our front door, usually aided by townsfolk who pointed out where they might get some assistance.

Let me confess: kindness can be difficult and thankless work. Though the little community generously donated to help with this cause, I grew weary of the numerous strangers who constantly rang my doorbell. My life was busy, my work was demanding and I was tired. I was also beginning to feel “put upon.” One time our property was vandalized by a man I had invited to spend the night in the warmth of the little church; once I drove 30 miles through a hazardous blizzard to carry a couple of hitchhikers to shelter who showed no appreciation for the sacrifice; frequently I was awakened in the middle of the night to get out in the bitter cold and give assistance to someone passing through; too often travelers manipulated or lied or stridently complained that I didn’t give them more.

Not that I need a lot of thanks. But my work with these people was volunteer and I was losing the warm feeling I once had by doing it. At one time I felt I was truly helping. Now I felt stressed and harassed. Early on it seemed like I might be doing some good, but as of late I wondered if that was true.

It seemed as if the golden chain of kindness was broken. Instead of binding me closer to others, I felt increasingly distant.

I also felt guilt for feeling sorry for myself. “I should WANT to be more helpful,” I told myself. I questioned my motives. Am I doing all of this so people will value me, or because there is a need here I can help meet? Is this about me or about them? I still offered assistance where I could, though more than once I silently wished that people wanting something from me would just go away.

But on this day, a young man with a week-old beard climbed from the broken-down automobile. He had no money and no food. He asked if I could give him some work. I offered him some gasoline and a meal. I told him that if he wanted to work, we'd be pleased if he'd cut the grass, but work wasn't necessary.

Though sweaty and hungry, he worked hard. Because of the afternoon heat, I thought he might give up before the job was completed. But he persisted and, after a long while, he sat wearily down in the shade. I thanked him for his work and gave him the money I promised. Then I offered him a little extra for a task particularly well done, but he refused. "No sank you," he said in heavily accented speech. I insisted that he take the money but he stood up and once again said, "No sank you. I want to work. Joo keep the money." I realized his dignity was at stake and thanked him again for the good job.

I never saw that man after he drove away. And interestingly, he probably thought I helped him that day. But that is not the way it was. I’m sure I didn't help him as much as he helped me. In his honesty and sincerity, he reminded me of the innate decency of people. He helped me recall just why I wanted to reach out to strangers in the first place. Something that had almost died inside seemed to wake up. I remembered my real reasons for reaching out and immediately began to feel better…more hopeful, more useful. I believed, again, that the little I was doing could actually make a difference.

This stranger (I don’t even recall his name) helped me to once again WANT to do something for those who are in need. I wish I could thank him for giving me back a little optimism I had lost somewhere along the way. Because of him I felt that once again the golden chain of kindness binding us to one another was restored. We were brothers. I may have fed his body that day. But he fed my soul.

-- Steve Goodier

SHARE this message with your Facebook friends.
"LIKE US" on Facebook where you can find a powerful daily quote.

Do You Believe in You?

Image by Bethany Carlson

Did you know that Albert Einstein could not speak until he was four years old and did not read until he was seven? His parents and teachers worried about his mental ability.
   
Or that Beethoven’s music teacher said about him, “As a composer he is hopeless”? What if young Ludwig believed it?
   
When Thomas Edison was a young boy, his teachers said he was so stupid he could never learn anything. He once said, “I remember I used to never be able to get along at school. I was always at the foot of my class...my father thought I was stupid, and I almost decided that I was a dunce.” What if young Thomas believed what they said about him?
   
When F. W. Woolworth was 21, he got a job in a store, but was not allowed to wait on customers because, according to his boss, he “didn’t have enough sense.” I wonder if the boss was around when Woolworth became one of the most successful retailers of his day.
   
When the sculptor Auguste Rodin was young he had difficulty learning to read and write. Today, we may say he had a learning disability, but his father said of him, “I have an idiot for a son.” His uncle agreed. “He’s uneducable,” he said. What if the boy had doubted his ability to excel?
   
A newspaper editor once fired Walt Disney because he was thought to have no “good ideas.” The great Italian tenor Enrico Caruso was told by one music teacher, “You can’t sing. You have no voice at all.” And an editor told Louisa May Alcott, just a few years before she wrote the classic novel Little Women, that she was incapable of writing anything that would have popular appeal.

History will long praise each of these famous people, but what became of their critics? Nobody even remembers some of their names, which is all that need be said.
   
But what if these young people had listened to those critical voices and became discouraged? Where would our world be without the music of Beethoven and Caruso, the art of Rodin, the ideas of Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison, the imagination of Walt Disney or the literary contributions of Louisa May Alcott? As it was so accurately put, “It’s not what you are, it’s what you don’t become that hurts.” (That from Oscar Levant.) What if these people had not become what they were capable becoming, had not done what they actually could have accomplished, just because they were discouraged by people who couldn't see them for what they were?
   
We all have potential and, whether you realize it or not, your desire to do or be more than you are is your best indicator of future success. Others may discourage you, but the most important voice to listen to is your own. Do you believe in you?

Still the voices of your critics. Listen intently to your own voice, to the person who knows you best. Then answer these questions: Do you think you should move ahead? How will you feel if you quit pursuing this thing you want to do? And what does your best self advise?

What you hear may change your life.

-- Steve Goodier
 
SHARE this message on Facebook.
"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page.  

Who Rekindles Your Spirit?

Image by Sun Designs

An insightful woman, who had lived through numerous dark nights and days, once taught me about getting through difficult times. "I appreciate your outlook on life," I commented to Mrs. Tucker. I was in my twenties and she was fifty years older. In the short time I knew her she became a significant teacher for me. I learned from her remarkable attitude and her unshakeable strength of character, both of which undoubtedly buoyed her through treacherous waters.

"Well, I have been through a lot of tough times," she told me. "In fact, sometimes it was awfully hard for me and my husband. He couldn't always find work. Some days he would come home horribly depressed and say, 'Things are so bad I don't know if I can take it.' And I would say to him, 'Well, you know, things could be worse.' And once he said, 'I've heard that so many times I think I'm gonna die!' I was hurt...but I just hated to see him so depressed. I didn't know what to say. Later he confessed that if I would have wept in despair, he wouldn't have been able to make it. He needed me during those times."

It occurs to me that HOW she responded to her husband's pain was probably not as important as the simple fact that she was there and cared. He knew he could always count on her to be a ray of light in his darkness and a strong hand to lift him when he stumbled or to soothe his hurts. He needed her...and for similar reasons, she needed him, too.

Albert Schweitzer said so well, "Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light." During those difficult times they rekindled one another's light.

Who rekindles your light? Who blows your light into flame when it threatens to flicker out? Sometimes this person is a relative, sometimes a teacher, or a pastor, or a close friend. I've learned that if I need the light of my spirit rekindled during a bleak time, there are a few special people who can do it.

I admire some people for their brilliance and I respect others for their strength. But I am indebted to those who can rekindle my spirit. I hope I can be such a person for others.

– Steve Goodier

SHARE this message on Facebook

"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page. 

An Encouraging Word

 

Image courtesy of Brian Lary

"Home on the Range" is a familiar American song that has become something of an unofficial anthem of the American west. Words to the song are adapted from Brewster Higley's original poem:

Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam,
Where the deer and the antelope play,
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the skies are not cloudy all day.

Since I live in the American west myself, I know something about skies that are not cloudy all day. But I sometimes find myself reflecting on a time when bison roamed the grassy prairie. And though I think I'd like to at least visit where the deer and the antelope play, I know I'd enjoy a place where seldom is heard a discouraging word. I wonder if there is such a place. Or how about somewhere that oft is heard an encouraging word? Can a place like that be found? A place of encouragement?

One man thought he might have found such a place in a bookstore where he waited in line for a guest author to autograph a  copy of his latest novel. An encouraging, elderly woman at the front of the line turned around and said with obvious enthusiasm, “I just have to say – this is the BEST book I've ever read. Why, I couldn't put it down until the very last page.”

Before anyone could respond, the author glanced up and said, “All right, Mother, that's enough!”

I realize that a mother's praise is a bit on the biased side. Besides, if we're looking for more warm vibes and verbal support, we certainly can't take our mothers with us wherever we go. That said, there is tremendous power in words of encouragement. Power to change lives.

A young Polish boy wanted to play piano, but his teacher told him that his fingers were too stubby and that he would never play well. The boy was advised to try the cornet, but was later told by an expert musician that he did not have the lip to ever be good. Discouraging words.

Then one day he met the great pianist Anton Rubinstein. The famous musician gave this young boy the first bit of musical encouragement he ever received. “Young man,” Rubinstein said, “you might be able to play the piano. In fact, I think you can...if you will practice seven hours a day.”

Seven hours a day might sound daunting. But that was all the boost this boy needed. The great Rubinstein had told him he could do it. He might have to dedicate most of his time to practice, but he could do it. He could be good. After all, Anton Rubinstein said so.

He did practice for many hours every day and his hard work was rewarded. Years later, Jan Paderewski became one of the most famous pianists of his time. An encouraging word carried with it enough power to ignite a young boy’s eager spirit, and the resulting fire of passion burned brightly in the musician's heart for decades.

Your encouraging word, given today, may forever change a receptive life. I wonder who needs to hear it.

-- Steve Goodier

"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page.

SHARE this message on Facebook.

Ten Leadership Blunders

Comedian Bill Cosby once said, “I'm not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it, I don't know when I lost it, I don't really think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss' job...and I don't want it!"

Like it or not, there are times we are in charge. There are times we are all leaders – as a parent, in the classroom, through work, in a club, on a sports team or in a volunteer organization. And we can always become better leaders. Here are ten common leadership blunders better leaders avoid.

1. Some leaders are blind to the current situation. They solve the wrong problems in the wrong way. They bandage an infected thumb but do not pull the splinter. Better leaders work hard to understand the real problem before responding.

2. Some leaders discourage those they lead. They find fault and blame. They criticize when things don't go right. Better leaders encourage. They give credit when things go well and take responsibility for problems.

3. Some leaders believe they have all the answers they need. Better leaders keep learning. A cross-discipline study of leadership indicated that effective leaders in all fields are always learning. They understand that a spurt here and a spurt there does not make an expert.

4. Some leaders shy away from courageous decisions. They prefer to keep things as they are, even if the system is not working all that well. They will almost always follow the well-worn path. Better leaders will often go where there is no path and leave a trail. They trust their instincts and act boldly.

5. Some leaders keep others in their place. They remind them who is boss. Better leaders know that authority earned trumps authority granted.

6. Some leaders would rather do the work themselves. They are slow to delegate. They micro-manage and control. Better leaders identify strengths and limitations of those they lead. They assign, train, encourage and then get out of the way.

7. Some leaders sabotage the successes of others. When those around them succeed, they feel threatened. Better leaders help others find success. They give a hand up. They realize that when one is lifted onto another's shoulders, both stand taller.

8. Some leaders ask others to do what they are not willing to do themselves, and try to get others to go places they have not been. Better leaders always lead by example. They get out in front and lead, they don’t push from behind.

9. Some leaders motivate by force. They cajole, intimidate, threaten and issue ultimatums. Better leaders understand that people respond best to positive incentive. They build morale.

10. Some leaders do not listen well to those they lead. Their minds are already made up and they charge recklessly ahead. Better leaders listen closely to those they want to influence.

U.S. Secretary of State Dean Rusk once said, "One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears -- by listening to them." Great salespeople know this. Great motivators know this. Great leaders know this.

Maybe you've seen the boss' job and you don't want it, but we are all in charge at times. Be a better leader and you will help build a better world.

-- Steve Goodier

SHARE this message on Facebook.

"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page.