Just A Dime

Can one dime make a difference? Here is a woman who turned a dime into millions of dollars. 

Her name was Martha Berry. This clever woman founded the Berry School in Rome, Georgia. She scraped together funds from every source possible. One day she approached Henry Ford, of Ford automobile fame, and asked for a contribution. Patronizingly, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a dime.

Rather than be insulted or discouraged by the “gift,” Miss Berry bought a package of seed peanuts with it. The seeds were planted and tended, and they eventually yielded a large crop, which she later sold.

Again she called on Mr. Ford. “Here’s the dime you gave me last year,” she said, handing him a coin. Then she told him of the return she had realized from his token investment.

Ford was so impressed that, in the years to come, he gave millions of dollars to the school.

Can one dime make a difference? Yes, if it is well invested.

How about one hour of your time? Can it make a difference? Or how about the life of one person? Can a life like yours or mine really make a difference? The answer to each of these questions is the same: Yes, if it is well invested.

Now...how are your investments doing?

-- Steve Goodier 

Image: flickr.com/Nicu Buculei

A Golden Chain of Kindness

Image by Stephen Eastop

Writer and philosopher Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, "Kindness is the golden chain by which society is bound together." But I was not thinking about a golden chain of kindness one day when a dilapidated automobile, possibly held together with glue and wire, parked in front of the house. During those years, we lived in a small mountain town next to a freeway. Our home was located across the street from the church I served, and travelers in need frequently found their way to our front door, usually aided by townsfolk who pointed out where they might get some assistance.

Let me confess: kindness can be difficult and thankless work. Though the little community generously donated to help with this cause, I grew weary of the numerous strangers who constantly rang my doorbell. My life was busy, my work was demanding and I was tired. I was also beginning to feel “put upon.” One time our property was vandalized by a man I had invited to spend the night in the warmth of the little church; once I drove 30 miles through a hazardous blizzard to carry a couple of hitchhikers to shelter who showed no appreciation for the sacrifice; frequently I was awakened in the middle of the night to get out in the bitter cold and give assistance to someone passing through; too often travelers manipulated or lied or stridently complained that I didn’t give them more.

Not that I need a lot of thanks. But my work with these people was volunteer and I was losing the warm feeling I once had by doing it. At one time I felt I was truly helping. Now I felt stressed and harassed. Early on it seemed like I might be doing some good, but as of late I wondered if that was true.

It seemed as if the golden chain of kindness was broken. Instead of binding me closer to others, I felt increasingly distant.

I also felt guilt for feeling sorry for myself. “I should WANT to be more helpful,” I told myself. I questioned my motives. Am I doing all of this so people will value me, or because there is a need here I can help meet? Is this about me or about them? I still offered assistance where I could, though more than once I silently wished that people wanting something from me would just go away.

But on this day, a young man with a week-old beard climbed from the broken-down automobile. He had no money and no food. He asked if I could give him some work. I offered him some gasoline and a meal. I told him that if he wanted to work, we'd be pleased if he'd cut the grass, but work wasn't necessary.

Though sweaty and hungry, he worked hard. Because of the afternoon heat, I thought he might give up before the job was completed. But he persisted and, after a long while, he sat wearily down in the shade. I thanked him for his work and gave him the money I promised. Then I offered him a little extra for a task particularly well done, but he refused. "No sank you," he said in heavily accented speech. I insisted that he take the money but he stood up and once again said, "No sank you. I want to work. Joo keep the money." I realized his dignity was at stake and thanked him again for the good job.

I never saw that man after he drove away. And interestingly, he probably thought I helped him that day. But that is not the way it was. I’m sure I didn't help him as much as he helped me. In his honesty and sincerity, he reminded me of the innate decency of people. He helped me recall just why I wanted to reach out to strangers in the first place. Something that had almost died inside seemed to wake up. I remembered my real reasons for reaching out and immediately began to feel better…more hopeful, more useful. I believed, again, that the little I was doing could actually make a difference.

This stranger (I don’t even recall his name) helped me to once again WANT to do something for those who are in need. I wish I could thank him for giving me back a little optimism I had lost somewhere along the way. Because of him I felt that once again the golden chain of kindness binding us to one another was restored. We were brothers. I may have fed his body that day. But he fed my soul.

-- Steve Goodier

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A Beautiful Heart

Image by Robert Proska

One grandfather quipped about his grandchildren: "My grandkids are four and six. The Pulitzer Prize winner is four and the brain surgeon is six."

Parents and grandparents are understandably proud of the quick minds and impressive talents of their little ones. But let me tell you about another quality, perhaps even more important. A grandmother wrote to me and told me this story about her four-year-old granddaughter Skylar.

It was Christmastime. Skylar had saved coins in a piggy bank all year and decided to buy presents for her family with her savings. But she also learned from announcements on television about a local homeless shelter called "The Road House." She repeatedly asked her mother what "homeless" meant and why those children needed coats and warm clothes. The concept of people in such physical need deeply affected her.

Skylar’s mother took her to the store to buy Christmas presents. But instead of buying for herself or her family, she decided to use her savings for somebody at the shelter. They learned that there was a little girl staying there about Skylar’s age, and she purchased a warm coat, socks, gloves and crayons for the child. She also wanted to buy her a doll (a "baby," as she called it), but when she discovered she didn't have enough money, she left the doll behind. When Skylar got home, she selected one of her own much-loved dolls to give away. The baby went into a box with the other items.

She could hardly wait for Christmas. Skylar was not thinking about Santa Claus or any presents she might be getting. She was thinking only about going to the shelter and giving her carefully selected gifts to a little girl she had never met.

On Christmas Eve she and her family finally made the trip Skylar had been anticipating for so long. They drove to the shelter. There she presented her Christmas box to a grateful child. She was so filled with joy at truly touching someone else’s life that her family decided to make the journey to the shelter an annual tradition.

"Perhaps it's good to have a beautiful mind, but an even greater gift is to have a beautiful heart," says Nobel Laureate John Nash ("A Beautiful Mind"). He would have appreciated young Skylar’s heart.

Beautiful hearts don’t just happen. Nash calls it a gift, but it’s a gift in the way that faith or hope or love are gifts. And I’m convinced we have each been endowed with a beautiful heart. We may not always see it. We may not even believe it. But it’s a gift that came with birth and, every time we act selflessly, it grows a little.

-- Steve Goodier

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An Incredible Feeling

Photo by Gary Scott

Newscaster Paul Harvey once told about a woman who called the Butterball Turkey Company and said that she had a turkey that had been in her freezer for 23 years. She asked if it was still any good. She was told that if her freezer was at least zero degrees Fahrenheit, then the turkey was probably safe enough to eat. But they wouldn’t recommend that she eat it. The flavor would have deteriorated considerably. She said, “That’s what we thought. I guess we’ll just give it to the church.”
   
I suppose there are many reasons we choose to give. But people who enjoy sharing with others the most do not share simply because they have a need to get rid of something. Those who find the greatest joy from giving have learned to give from a deeper place; they give from their hearts.
   
Santa Claus is becoming a universal symbol of giving. Millions of children write letters to Santa each year in hopes that they won’t be forgotten during his annual giving spree. Did you know that the US Post Office actually found ways to answer those letters to Santa Claus? They used to just stick them in the so-called dead letter box. But now some cities have programs that allow people to sort through these hand-written pleas, hopes and wishes and become “Santas” to others in need. They choose a letter and respond however they can. Most anyone can play Santa.
   
One letter that might have been discarded a few years ago, but was picked up by a volunteer Santa Claus, came from a boy named Donny. He wrote that he wanted a bike for Christmas and “some food and what I really need is love.”
   
Another volunteer Santa latched onto a letter from a young mother who wrote, “I lost my job...and I cannot afford to give my two children the things they need for the winter months.” That generous spirit helped with some necessities for the children.
   
“I like to go to their home on Christmas Eve,” one joyful Santa said. One year he bought presents for four children and a ham for their mother. Then he added this poignant observation: “The feeling you get is just incredible.”
   
I admit it – I don't always get that feeling when I give. But then I don't always give out of untainted motivations. Sometimes I give from other places. Sometimes I give out of social obligation or out of guilt. Or I give with an expectation for receiving back. But I give best when I give from that deeper place; when I give simply, freely and generously, and sometimes for no particular reason. I give best when I give from my heart.

And isn't it true? Opportunities to give from the heart are not limited to a particular holiday season or cultural tradition. Whether we give food, money, an hour of time or a hug, we can give it sincerely and joyously.

But let me offer a word of caution. If you choose to give from your heart, be careful. The most incredible feeling might just overwhelm you. And if you continue in this behavior, that feeling may become permanent.

-- Steve Goodier

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All Used Up

 

A well-known surgeon was attending a dinner party and watched the host adroitly carve and slice the large turkey for his guests.

When he finished slicing, the host asked, “How did I do, Doc?  I think I’d make a pretty good surgeon, don’t you?”

“Perhaps,” said the physician. “But anyone can take them apart. Now let’s see you put it back together again.”

Like surgery, some tasks require special talent, skill or training. There are those who have what it takes to work in an operating room. Others have the kind of aptitude needed to teach a class or repair an automobile, and still others can cook a delicious meal, play a musical instrument well enough that folks want to listen or solve difficult mathematical problems. Some people have a natural ability to relate to others, some people are imaginative problem-solvers, some people can organize almost anything and others possess the gift of empathy. I have yet to meet anyone who does not exhibit a unique talent or ability.

But Spanish cellist Pablo Casals said it well: “Don’t be vain because you happen to have talent. You are not responsible for that; it was not of your doing. What you do with your talent is what matters.”

And what's the best thing to do with talent and ability? Use it. Use it generously – even extravagantly. And use it for good.

Erma Bombeck was known for her humorous journalism. But she frequently seasoned her writing with pinches of wisdom. At the end of a newspaper column on March 10, 1987, Bombeck wrote these words:

I always had a dream that when I am asked to give an accounting of my life to a higher court, it will go like this: "So, empty your pockets. What have you got left of your life? Any dreams that were unfulfilled? Any unused talent that we gave you when you were born that you still have left? Any unsaid compliments or bits of love that you haven’t spread around? "

And I will answer, "I’ve nothing to return. I spent everything you gave me. I’m as naked as the day I was born."

 She would agree that what we do with what we're given is what matters.

My question is this: what would you find if you emptied your pockets today? Any unused talent? Is there anything inside that should be spent, shared or given away? When it comes to your time and resources are you living a life of extravagant generosity?

I'm going to mentally empty my pockets tonight at bedtime and see if I've been holding back. I think that's important. I want to make sure there is nothing left at the end of the day that could have been used. And then tomorrow I'll see what I can use up.

I can hardly think of a more worthwhile and joyous way to live.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: freeimages.com/David Playford

How to Be Happy for a Lifetime

Image courtesy of kslyesmith

Someone said this about happiness:

To be happy for an hour -- take a nap.
To be happy for a day -- go shopping.
To be happy for a week -- take a vacation.
To be happy for a month -- get married.
To be happy for a year -- inherit a fortune.
To be happy for a lifetime -- help others.

All right – I don’t agree with everything on that list. But I believe the author is exactly right about how to be happy for the rest of your life. Lasting contentment, the most satisfying kind of happiness, can always be found in helping others. And it’s a secret that many people have never discovered.

Marion Preminger stumbled upon it and wrote about where lasting happiness is to be found in her autobiography All I Want Is Everything. Born in Hungary in 1913, Marion was raised in a castle, surrounded by wealth, servants and the notoriety of an aristocratic upbringing.

At a Viennese ball, she met a handsome young man, the son of an Italian doctor. They rushed into a marriage that lasted only a year.

She returned to Vienna to embark on a career of acting. There she fell in love with the German director Otto Preminger. They married and she followed him to America where he began a promising career as a Hollywood movie director. But her new Hollywood lifestyle could not sustain her marriage and Preminger eventually divorced her.

Marion returned to Europe to live the life of a Parisian socialite until 1948. Then everything changed when she read that Dr. Albert Schweitzer was visiting Europe from his home in Africa. She determined to meet with the notable missionary doctor.

She first encountered Schweitzer doing one of the things he loved to do best while visiting Europe -- playing a church organ for his own enjoyment. He invited her to dine with him. After the meal, Marion knew she had finally found what she'd been looking for. She accompanied Schweitzer every day during the remainder of his European visit. He invited Marion to come back to Africa with him and work as an untrained staff member in the Lamberene hospital.

She left her life of status and ease and moved to Africa. Once there, the girl who was raised like a princess became a servant. She changed bandages, bathed bodies and fed lepers. She gave her life away to the poor and, in the midst of it, found the happiness she'd craved for so long.

It was Albert Schweitzer who asserted, "One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve."

However, wherever and whomever we choose to help is unimportant. There are those in need everywhere. But when we figure out how to sincerely help other people, we'll have also learned how to be happy for a lifetime.

-- Steve Goodier

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Where There's a Need

flickr/Linda Tanner

I found myself stopped at an intersection on a wintery day. Strong arctic wind battered my car. I spotted a young woman who stood alongside the street rubbing her bare hands together and dancing in place to keep warm. Beside her rested a sign that read, "I have a baby and no food." Her face showed she had been crying, likely from the pain of the bitter wind.

Homeless and unemployed people are a common sight in many of our larger cities, and most motorists drive by without offering assistance. They have no doubt been taught that giving money fosters a dependent lifestyle, or the ready cash may be used to purchase alcohol or drugs rather than the food for which it was intended. Like me, they may have been taught that money is best given to a local charity or through one's faith community, as these institutions often have excellent programs to help those in need.

And though this is true, I sometimes recall a humorous story about two college students who encountered a homeless man on a sidewalk. One of the students took a couple of dollars from his wallet and handed it to the unfortunate stranger. His friend commented, "Why did you do that? He's just going to spend it on booze or drugs." The young man answered, "Yeah...like, we're not?"

On that icy day as I waited for the light to turn, I felt conflicted about that young woman. I figured she was probably staying at one of the women’s shelters in the area and wondered if her baby was there now, as there was no child in sight. Should I give her money? She was obviously in need. And whether or not she actually had a baby at all really didn't matter. I gave up guessing people's motives and analyzing their stories long ago. It was cold. She was cold. And she apparently felt she had to be there.

What should I do? How could I help? What was best?

As I wrestled with these questions, a window rolled down from the car in front of me and a hand shot out holding a warm pair of gloves. The driver had taken her own gloves off and gave them to the shivering woman. I saw the young woman mouth the words "Thank you" as a broad smile lit up her face.

It occurred to me that, as I debated, somebody else helped. As I hesitated, someone else acted. As I tried to decide the BEST way to assist, somebody else just did what she could. In other words, as I did nothing, someone else did SOMETHING.

I made myself a pledge that day to always try to do SOMETHING. And I’m not just talking about giving money. I’m not even talking about the homeless, necessarily. Where there’s a need, there’s an opportunity. So I promised myself that, whenever or wherever I spotted a need, I would try to do SOMETHING.

Educator Leo Buscaglia said, "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." Even speaking, listening, and noticing -- they may not seem like much, but they are something. And the smallest act of kindness carries great power within.

I don’t want to underestimate what I CAN do. Where there’s a need, there’s an opportunity.  My action may not turn a life around, but it can make some kind of difference. And I’ll trust that the something I do, no matter how small, will be better than the nothing I might have done.

-- Steve Goodier


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The Way to Be Happy

Image by Phalinn Ooi

Even in religious education one doesn’t always get the answer they expect. In order to teach compassion, one teacher began her class with the question: “What would you do if you were walking along a road and saw a person who was terribly beaten and bruised and covered with blood?” 

In a moment of honesty, a little girl replied, “I'd probably throw up.”

There are many professions I should leave alone. I have neither the constitution nor the aptitude for them. And one of those occupations is nursing. Like the little girl, I might seriously embarrass myself. But I deeply admire those compassionate women and men who labor in the nursing profession.

Some years ago, a six-year-old boy from Corvallis, Oregon (United States) suffered burns over 85% of his body. His condition was so severe that several doctors gave up and one hospital would not admit him because they thought he would die anyway.

His life was saved, however, by eight courageous and committed people – his parents, three nurses and three doctors. The nurses emerged as the true heroines in this real-life drama. After other nurses had quit, these women took eight-hour shifts with the boy, seeing him through skin grafts, operations, crucial periods in which death almost gained victory, and dull, dragging days of rehabilitation. The boy grew to dislike them, as he innocently thought they caused his intense pain.

His room was like a dungeon. It measured 12 feet by 12 feet. The door was tightly shut, shades were drawn, heat blazed from a gooseneck lamp shining as a substitute for blankets. The humidity was so high the walls dripped with moisture, and dank air smelled of burned flesh and chlorine-soaked dressings.

The nurses stayed with him, dressed in caps, gowns, masks and gloves as if they were assisting an operation. Within an hour they would be soaked with perspiration. For 14 desperately long months these dedicated three gave their all to the ailing boy. Then, one day, he finally climbed from his bed and walked.

It was a great day! The nurses were rewarded for their tireless effort. The lives of all three were so deepened and their sense of satisfaction so great after fighting off the temptation to quit for 14 months, that each said they’d put forth the effort again.

What caused them to feel so satisfied? I think it was more than simply the fact that the boy lived. Together they attempted something nearly impossible, but also truly worthwhile. They poured their lives out for the sake of someone else.

It is like something American educator Booker T. Washington once said: “Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.” What these nurses did was significant. They worked hard and they worked selflessly. And in doing so, they found contentment.

Do you want to be happier?

Don't pray for blessings; pray for important work to do.
Don't pray for prestige; pray for a place to serve.
Don't pray for more things to use; pray to become more useful.
Don't pray for greater pleasure; pray for greater purpose.
Don't pray for an easier path; pray for joy on the journey, wherever it leads.

If you do, I believe your prayers will be answered.

-- Steve Goodier

How to Have a Life of Joy

Do you know how to have a life of joy?

A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." 

"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?" 

The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them as taxes to the government and write on the envelope, 'NOW YOU HAVE EVERYTHING!'"

Paying taxes is not usually a joy. But giving can be joyful. We pay the taxes because we have to. But when we choose to give time or money, then giving can add to our overall happiness.

Mother Teresa teaches us an important lesson about happiness. She was one of those people who emanated joy. Born in 1910 in Skopje, Macedonia, she felt called as a teenager to move to Calcutta, India. Some months later she saw a sight that completely revolutionized her life.

Shortly after moving to Calcutta she spotted a homeless, dying woman lying in the gutter, being eaten by rats. After seeing that, compassion compelled her to beg an abandoned Hindu temple from the government and convert it into a crude, make-shift hospital for the dying. "Nobody should die alone" she would later say. Mother Teresa went on to establish homes for the destitute dying in numerous cities. But in spite of devoting her life to people in such dire straits, she radiated joy and happiness.

This incredible woman was once interviewed by Malcolm Muggeridge from the BBC News. He asked her an unusual question: "Mother Teresa, the thing I noticed about you and the hundreds of sisters who now form your team is that you all look so happy. Is that a put-on?"

Here was a woman who had none of the things we like to think of as bringing happiness: a home, a family, prosperity. Rather, she lived in near-poverty and spent her time wiping dirt and various body fluids from half-dead cancer and leprosy victims -- and appeared to be blissfully happy. "Is that a put-on?" she was asked.

She replied, "Oh no, not at all. Nothing makes you happier than when you really reach out in mercy to someone who is badly hurt."

She would agree that happiness does not come from acquiring, but is a by-product of giving something of yourself away: time, money, love. Do you want a life of joy? Start by looking outside yourself.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/WH

Hooked on Giving

LeTourneau University

Dr. Mar Aprem of the ancient Chaldean Orthodox Church of the East in India tells a funny story about when a member of the church won a lottery worth 100,000 rupees. His wife went to the bishop and told him that she was afraid to tell this glad news to her husband because he had a heart problem and any sudden excitement could cause a heart attack.

The bishop offered to break the news gently to her husband. He visited the house and asked the man, "Wouldn’t it be a good thing if you won 1,000 rupees in the lottery?" The man replied that he still would have to work to support his family.

"What about 10,000 rupees?" the bishop asked. The man still showed no excitement, so the bishop carefully raised the amount to 50,000 and finally to 100,000 rupees.

"If I got 100,000 rupees, I would give half of it to you, your Excellency," the man replied.

The bishop had a heart attack, and the man called an ambulance.

We can get excited about winning and getting. But have you learned how fun it is to give -- and not only money? Engineering and machinery genius R. G. LeTourneau (1888 - 1969) discovered the great joy that can come of generosity. Besides establishing a private school (today's LeTourneau University), that remarkable man reportedly gave 90 percent of his income to worthwhile causes, while living on the remaining 10 percent. He became hooked on giving!

And like I said, money is not the only commodity that is fun to give. We can give time, we can give our expertise, we can give our love or simply give a smile. What does that cost? The point is, none of us can ever run out of something worthwhile to give.

Giving is fun. And addictive. It's something I'd like to get hooked on.

-- Steve Goodier

A Law of Successful Living

I am impressed by an incident that happened during the pianist Ignacy Paderewski's career. The famous Polish musician and politician agreed to play a concert organized by two Stanford University students working their way through school. Paderewski's manager said they would have to guarantee the artist a fee of $2,000. The boys agreed and eventually the concert was held.

Though the two student promoters worked hard, they took in only $1,600. Discouraged, they told Paderewski of their efforts and handed him the $1,600 with a note promising to pay him the balance of $400. But the artist tore up the note and gave them back the $1,600. "Take your expenses out of this," he said, "give yourselves each 10% of what's left for your work, and let me have the rest."

Years later, Paderewski was faced with feeding the people of his war-ravaged Poland. Amazingly, even before a request was made, thousands of tons of food were sent to Poland by the United States.

Paderewski later traveled to Paris to thank Herbert Hoover, who headed up the US relief effort. "That's all right, Mr. Paderewski," said Hoover, "I knew that the need was great. And besides, though you may not remember it, I was one of two college students whom you generously helped when I was in need."

The story illustrates a law of successful living: sooner or later we will reap what we sow. Paderewski reaped a harvest of kindness he had sown years before. Those who sow love will eventually reap love. Those who sow goodness will reap even more. Those who sow fear and mistrust will reap an unwanted harvest later.

It's a basic law of successful living. And powerful enough to change a life.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Renaud Camus