Enough Is a Moving Target

Image by Vivek Chugh

Alfred E. Neuman, mascot for Mad magazine, once said, “Most people don’t know what they really want – but they’re sure they haven’t got it.” It might be true that a great many people do not think they have what they really want...or need.

I have a friend who likes to say, “Enough is a moving target.” When do we have enough? Enough money? Enough love? Enough time? Enough influence? Enough respect? Enough of whatever we think we need to be happier? Maybe we got that new job or bought that car we had been waiting for. Perhaps we found a relationship that was exactly what we sought for so long, or settled into a life we thought we always wanted. Maybe we got that advanced degree or finally moved away from parents and now live on our own.

We should be happy, right? And for a while, we are. But how often do we eventually discover that the shine is gone, that somehow we don't seem to have enough? What changed? Chances are, we are victims of the phenomenon that “enough is a moving target.”

The job no longer satisfies. The relationship no longer fulfills like we had expected. All those things we had for so long thought would bring lasting contentment just don't seem to be enough because somebody moved the target.

And here's the truth: our age is characterized by the ABILITY to get what we want, and the INABILITY to want what we've got. Our age is characterized by discontentment.

In 1988, one woman won twenty-two million dollars in her state lottery. Her family and friends gathered around her. Television lights blazed. Even the network news showed up. She was ecstatic. "This is the happiest day of my life!" she announced.

And you know the rest of the story. A mere five years later she was shown again on television shaking her head in disbelief. In no time at all she went through a divorce, the alienation of her children and a financial investment that turned sour. A judge garnished her lottery winnings for the rest of her life. The closing scene showed the woman sitting on the steps of an apartment building in utter despair.

She had won $22 million. Not that it should have made her happy, but it certainly was not enough to save her from unhappiness.

Don't hear me say that happiness comes from material possessions. I don't believe it for a minute. You already know that the most important things in life are probably not things at all. But happiness, at least in part, does come from a deep appreciation of what we already have, both material and immaterial. It's never about getting what we want – somebody keeps moving that target. It's about appreciating whatever it is we have.

You probably have the ability to get what you want. And you likely have everything you need to be completely satisfied. But do you also have the ability to want what you've got?

That just may be one of the most important questions you will ever answer.

-- Steve Goodier

A Good Life

Image courtesy of MorgueFile

Calvin, of the "Calvin and Hobbes" comic strip fame, once imparted some timeless wisdom: "If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night," he observed, "I'll bet they'd live a lot differently."

I believe he's right. I try to sit outside every night before bedtime to breathe the night air and look at the sky. It's a simple practice. For me, a time of deep relaxation and spiritual cleansing.

Year by bewildering year our world grows more complex. We crave peace in our souls. We long for simplicity in lives that too easily become relentlessly tangled in complicated webs.

One man, David, enjoyed the simple things of life. He sometimes took jobs in the American west at dude ranches, national parks and seasonal resorts.

His brother, however, wanted to entice him to get a "real" job and live in a world surrounded by things that only money can buy. So David's brother often sent him photos of himself enjoying the so-called "good life." He labeled his snapshots "My new sound system" or "My new car."

But the photographs stopped arriving after David responded with a picture of his own. He sent his brother a large poster with a breathtaking view of Wyoming's Grand Teton National Park. On the back was David's message: "My back yard."

I believe I understand how David feels. While his brother was striving for THE Good Life, David aimed for A Good Life. There's a difference.

THE good life requires that we take pleasure in new things; A good life requires that we take pleasure in moments.

To enjoy THE good life we have to get ahead; to enjoy A good life we have to make the trip worthwhile.

THE good life is supported by feeding our pocketbooks; A good life is supported by feeding our souls.

Over a century ago, John Burroughs put it like this: "To find the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter...to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be elated over a bird's nest or a wildflower in spring – these are some of the rewards of the simple life." I call it a good life.

I don't want to collect more stuff at the expense of collecting memories. And I don't want to let making a buck interfere with my making a difference.

I'm already looking forward to tonight when I'll sit outside and look up at the stars.

-- Steve Goodier

"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page.

SHARE this message on Facebook.

What Is Your Rope Tied To?

You may have heard of the man who decided to repair the roof of his house. The pitch was steep, and to be safe, he tied a rope around his waist and threw the other end of it over the top of the house. He called his son and asked him to tie it to something secure. The boy fastened the safety rope to the bumper of their car parked in the driveway. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

But a little while later, his wife needed to run a few errands with the automobile. Unaware of the line securing her husband, she started the car and proceeded to drive away. The rope immediately tightened and jerked the man over the roof and into thin air. Now before you become alarmed, let me assure you that this never really happened. But I chuckle at the image of the poor guy sailing over the top of his house like Evel Knievel without a motorcycle.

This story, factual or not, points to a great truth. It is a truth about where we place our security; about those things to which we’ve tied our safety lines. What is your rope tied to?

Think about it. What do you depend on to keep you from disaster? Is your rope tied to a good job? Is it tied to a relationship with somebody you rely on? Is it tied to a company or an organization?

In her wise and sensitive audio Lessons in Living, writer Susan Taylor tells of discovering how unreliable some of our safety lines really are. She tells of lying in bed in the early hours of the morning when an earthquake struck. As her house shook, she tumbled out of bed and managed to stand underneath an arched door-way in her hall, watching in horror as her whole house tumbled down around her. Where her bed had once stood, she later discovered nothing but a pile of rubble. She lost everything – every button, every dish, her automobile, every stitch of clothing.

Susan huddled, scared and crying, in the darkness. In the predawn morning she cried and called out for help.

As exhaustion set in, she thought that maybe she should be listening for rescuers rather than making so much commotion. So she grew still and listened. In the silence around her, the only sound she heard was the beating of her own heart. It occurred to her then that at least she was still alive and, amazingly enough, unhurt. She thought about her situation. In the stillness, fear abandoned her and a feeling of indescribable peace and happiness flooded in, the likes of which she had never before known. It was an experience that was to permanently change her life.

In the deepest part of her being, Susan realized a remarkable truth. She realized she had nothing to fear. Amazingly, whether or not she was ever rescued, whether she even made it out alive, she sensed she had nothing to fear.

For the first time in her life she understood that her true security did not depend on those things in which she had placed her trust. It lay deep within. And also for the first time, she knew what it was to be content in all circumstances. She realized that, in an ultimate sense, whether she had plenty or hardly enough, somehow she would be all right. She just knew it.

She later wrote, "Before the quake I had all the trappings of success, but my life was out of balance. I wasn’t happy because I was clinging to things in my life and always wanting more. My home, my job, my clothes, a relationship – I thought they were my security. It took an earthquake and losing everything I owned for me to discover that my security had been with me all along . . . There’s a power within us that we can depend upon no matter what is happening around us."

She had tied her rope to the wrong things. It took a disaster for her to understand that those things are untrustworthy. So she let go of the rope and discovered peace. She found that her true security was a power within – dependable and sure.

What is your rope tied to? And what would happen if you found the courage to let go of it?

-- Steve Goodier


Image: flickr.com/Doug Wheller
　

Can You Wait?

Have you noticed that a lot of us not only want to have this thing or that, but we want to have it NOW? I heard that the average American spends one entire year of life watching television commercials, where they are told again and again that they can have whatever they want and they can have it now.

First we want it. Then we get it. Then we wonder why we wanted it. Then we get it again.

The First National Bank in one Midwest American town came up with a billboard advertising slogan: "Loans make life easier, at FIRST." Yes, at first they do. But later....

I talked with a couple who will be married soon. They mentioned that someone in the family gave them an early wedding gift: a course of study in personal money management. They are learning to be patient and to save their money for whatever they want. I told them that someday they may look back on that gift with great appreciation.

There was a study about children, marshmallows and delayed gratification. Researchers gave children marshmallows to eat. Then they watched to see if the children ate them right away or saved the treats until later. They tracked these children for several years and learned that the "marshmallow savers," those who could delay gratification, turned out to be generally happier and better adjusted later in life. It stands to reason that we feel better when we are in control of our desires and, particularly, our behaviors.

The temptation is to have it NOW. One man wrote to me and said:

Steve,
I have learned that everything in life is instant gratification. I
just don't know the instant it will happen. So I just do what is in front of me to do, be patient, and wait for that instant.

Great advice! I have two questions for you:

1. What do you want to have?
2. Can you wait?

Chances are, if you can answer yes to the second question, you will be sure to find plenty of contentment and peace.

-- Steve Goodier


Image: Freeimages.com/Alison Taylor