Farther Along the Beauty Way

Coming from the US state of New Mexico, I learned early in life to love spicy foods. We like to treat friends to favorite homemade spicy dishes. (Some may think we inflict our tastes on them; I prefer to say we treat them to authentic New Mexican cuisine.) A typical reaction to a dish bathed in our hot sauce goes like this: they smile and enthusiastically try a bite; their eyes open far too wide and they begin to sweat profusely and reach for the water to put out the flames in their stomachs; then, when voice and reason return, they nod and politely say, “Tasty.” They sometimes don’t come back.

One person commented, “I’ve heard of people who preach hellfire, but you’re the only one I know who hands out samples.”

These days, however, my body is starting to tell me to be more selective in my diet. I have to be careful of overdoing my favorites. I still like it hot, but in smaller quantities. I relate to the woman who stepped off the scale and was asked by her husband what the verdict was. “According to the height table,” she replied, “I should be about six inches taller.”

But more important than the food I put into my body are thoughts I put into my mind. Thoughts of bitterness like, “I hate her!” Thoughts of despair like, “I'll never be happy again.” Thoughts of fear like, “I could never do that!” And thoughts of worry, thoughts of greed and thoughts of self-loathing…“I’m so stupid.” A constant diet of these killer thoughts will destroy any of us long before heartburn or cholesterol.

The indigenous Navajo people of New Mexico, Utah and Arizona (the Diné, as they call themselves) have an expression for this. They traditionally believe that how they fill their minds will shape their lives. So they want to fill their minds with that which is good, harmonious and edifying. They speak of “walking and thinking in the Beauty Way” – ridding their minds of all that is destructive and filling them with that which is good and peaceful.

With beauty, may I walk.
With beauty before me, may I walk.
With beauty behind me, may I walk.
With beauty above me, may I walk.
With beauty all around me, may I walk.
(Excerpt from the Navajo Night Way Ceremony)

The Beauty Way is the way of love and contentment, peace and kindness. It is the way of patience and courage and, above all, harmony.

In old age, wandering on a trail of beauty,
lively, may I walk.
In old age, wandering on a trail of beauty,
living again, may I walk.
It is finished in beauty.
It is finished in beauty.
(Excerpt from the Navajo Night Way Ceremony)

What are you putting into your mind? James Allen has said, “You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” Fill your mind with life-affirming thoughts and tomorrow will find you farther along the Beauty Way.

-- Steve Goodier

Walking Together in the Light

Image by Gabriella Fabbri

A funny story tells about a rabbi and a priest that met at the town picnic and began their usual “kibitzing.”

“This baked ham is just delicious,” the priest teased the rabbi. “You really should try some. I know it’s against your religion, but I can’t understand why such a wonderful thing should be forbidden. You just don’t know what you’re missing. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried Mrs. Kennedy’s baked ham. Tell me, when are you going to break down and try a little ham?”

The rabbi looked at the priest, smiled and said, “At your wedding.”

It's clear that much of the conflict between people of differing religious beliefs, particularly deeply-held religious beliefs, stems from the assertion that “we” are right and “they” are wrong. Our beliefs, our history, our practices are true, theirs are false. But can one group have a monopoly on truth?

Truth is light, wherever it is found. It is the sun in the noonday sky, shining on all universally. It cannot be bottled and sold or dispensed in secret tomes and ceremonies. It cannot be stolen, hidden or possessed by one group over another. Truth, like the sun, is viewed in different ways and known by different names. It is seen differently from different angles, but it shines in all directions.

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark,” said Plato. “The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” Afraid of truth. And afraid of one another.

I await the day that all people, all religions, walk in the light. And as they walk, they listen and understand. And in their understanding, they laugh. 

When the day comes that they laugh, they'll know how to walk together in light.

-- Steve Goodier

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Letting Go of Destructive Beliefs about Problems

Image by Gabriella Fabbri

A humorous story tells about a speeding motorist who was caught by radar from a police helicopter. An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket. “How did you know I was speeding?” the frustrated driver asked.
   
The police officer pointed somberly toward the sky. “You mean,” asked the motorist, “that even He is against me?”

It’s like the man who said, “It feels like the whole world is against me...but I know that’s not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.”
   
When we have a problem, it can often feel as if everything in our life is going wrong. We may tend to think that everybody is upset, that nobody cares or that everything is falling apart.

I like what psychiatrist Theodore Rubin says: “The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.”
   
If having problems feels like a problem to you, it may not be the problems themselves, but the way you think about them that is the problem. Specifically, you may have destructive beliefs about problems, difficulties and hardships. To think more clearly and to get through tough times more effectively, try letting go of these destructive beliefs:

1. Let go of the idea that your problem is PERMANENT. Few troubles last forever. And those few that cannot be solved can usually be managed. Remain hopeful that you will find a way to solve or manage the situation and “all will be well.”

2. Let go of the idea that your problem is PERVASIVE. Don't make your problem bigger than it is. Few problems affect every area of your life. When something is going wrong, it does not mean that everything is going wrong. There is still very much that is good and working well in your life and you don't want to lose focus of that fact.

3. Finally, let go of the idea that your problem is PERSONAL. There is nothing wrong with you because you have a problem. All capable and successful people have plenty of troubles. They have learned to make friends with problems, for difficulties are a normal part of life. If you have problems, it only means one thing: you're still living. And that can be pretty great in itself.

Remember, your problem is not permanent, it is not pervasive and it does not personally diminish who you are. Let go of these three destructive beliefs and you may be amazed at how much better you feel already. In fact, you are on your way to becoming an expert at handling problems.

-- Steve Goodier

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Do You Believe in You?

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Did you know that Albert Einstein could not speak until he was four years old and did not read until he was seven? His parents and teachers worried about his mental ability.
   
Or that Beethoven’s music teacher said about him, “As a composer he is hopeless”? What if young Ludwig believed it?
   
When Thomas Edison was a young boy, his teachers said he was so stupid he could never learn anything. He once said, “I remember I used to never be able to get along at school. I was always at the foot of my class...my father thought I was stupid, and I almost decided that I was a dunce.” What if young Thomas believed what they said about him?
   
When F. W. Woolworth was 21, he got a job in a store, but was not allowed to wait on customers because, according to his boss, he “didn’t have enough sense.” I wonder if the boss was around when Woolworth became one of the most successful retailers of his day.
   
When the sculptor Auguste Rodin was young he had difficulty learning to read and write. Today, we may say he had a learning disability, but his father said of him, “I have an idiot for a son.” His uncle agreed. “He’s uneducable,” he said. What if the boy had doubted his ability to excel?
   
A newspaper editor once fired Walt Disney because he was thought to have no “good ideas.” The great Italian tenor Enrico Caruso was told by one music teacher, “You can’t sing. You have no voice at all.” And an editor told Louisa May Alcott, just a few years before she wrote the classic novel Little Women, that she was incapable of writing anything that would have popular appeal.

History will long praise each of these famous people, but what became of their critics? Nobody even remembers some of their names, which is all that need be said.
   
But what if these young people had listened to those critical voices and became discouraged? Where would our world be without the music of Beethoven and Caruso, the art of Rodin, the ideas of Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison, the imagination of Walt Disney or the literary contributions of Louisa May Alcott? As it was so accurately put, “It’s not what you are, it’s what you don’t become that hurts.” (That from Oscar Levant.) What if these people had not become what they were capable becoming, had not done what they actually could have accomplished, just because they were discouraged by people who couldn't see them for what they were?
   
We all have potential and, whether you realize it or not, your desire to do or be more than you are is your best indicator of future success. Others may discourage you, but the most important voice to listen to is your own. Do you believe in you?

Still the voices of your critics. Listen intently to your own voice, to the person who knows you best. Then answer these questions: Do you think you should move ahead? How will you feel if you quit pursuing this thing you want to do? And what does your best self advise?

What you hear may change your life.

-- Steve Goodier
 
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A Powerful Question

A man driving down a country road spotted a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. Sensing something was wrong, he pulled the car over to the side of the road. As he watched, the farmer just stood there doing nothing and looking at nothing.

Curiosity got the better of the motorist and he climbed from his car and approached the idle man. “Ah, excuse me mister, but is something wrong?”

“No, no,” replied the farmer, “I'm fine. I'm just trying to win a Nobel Prize.”

“You are?” asked the puzzled motorist. “But how?”

“Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize . . . to people who are out standing in their field.”

(If you were expecting my humor to get better, I'm sorry to disappoint.)

It's true that few of us will ever win a Nobel Prize. But that's okay, because being the world's best is not the point. Let me ask a different kind of question.

According to John Gardner, founding chairman of Common Cause, one cheerful old man asks a fascinating question of just about everybody he meets for the first time. Once they exchange names and they get to the part where one is sure to ask the other where they work or what they do for a living, he turns the conversation in a different direction. He asks his new acquaintance an unusual question. He asks a big question – an important one. He asks, “What have you done that you believe in and you are proud of?”

The question is direct and a little unsettling. It is not as easy to answer as, “What do you do for a living?” It requires some thought. When asked why he likes to pose that question, the old man responds that he doesn't care how they answer. He just wants to put the thought into their minds. He thinks everyone should live their lives in such a way that they can have a good answer.

"What have you done that you believe in and are proud of?"

As I search for an answer, my mind goes first to family. We've raised healthy and productive children who want to make this world a better place. Not that I've been a model parent – far from it. But I'm proud of them. I also believe in the life my spouse and I have tried to put together with one another. We both chose to work hard on our relationship from the beginning.

What else have I done that I believe in and I'm proud of? Several things, I hope. But one especially is the creation of Life Support System. For me it's always been about reaching out, and I'm gratified when others in our Life Support System family write and tell me how it has made a difference. In a small way I think we're helping to bring the world together.

How would you answer that intriguing question? It may not be a big thing. Perhaps it's something that nobody but you cares about. But it cost you somehow … you're invested in it. You probably will never be awarded a Nobel Prize for your accomplishment, but it was important enough to do.

I think this can be one of the most powerful questions we can ever ask ourselves. It causes us to look deep inside and, like the old man says, prompts us to live our lives in such a way that we can have a good answer.

Now it's your turn. You may want to close your eyes and give it some thought. "What have you done that you believe in and are proud of?"

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Piotr Bizior

Believe It

Writer Norman Cousins tells about a football game at which a doctor found himself treating five spectators for stomach disorder. Each complained of nausea, dizziness and cramps. Upon checking, the doctor learned that all five had previously consumed soft drinks from the arena’s concession stands. In the interest of protecting public safety, an announcement was made to the crowd that it would be wise to forego drinks in the stadium because certain people were becoming ill.

By the third quarter of the game, 200 people – all of whom had been slurping sodas – were reporting the same symptoms. Half of these hurried off to a nearby hospital. Later in the afternoon the doctor determined that his five original patients had also eaten potato salad from the same delicatessen on the way to the game. The potato salad, not the drinks, was apparently the culprit.

An announcement was made. Almost immediately those who were sick felt remarkably better. The fans taken to the hospital were sent home as their symptoms quickly disappeared.

All of this goes to show the tremendous power of belief. What we believe to be true will often become true.

The power of our beliefs will dramatically affect our future. Like automaker Henry Ford said, "Whether you think you can or not, you are right." If you believe you will succeed or fail, you are probably right. If you believe strongly enough that something good or bad will surely happen to you, it likely will.

Mahatma Gandhi found this principle to be true in his own experience. "If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it," the Indian leader said. "But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it, even if I did not have the ability in the beginning."

Where did that ability come from? Was it the sheer power of his belief that gave him the capacity to do what seemed impossible? He was sure that was the case.

Your belief is power. And probably more than any other single factor, your belief that something just might be possible … can bring about what you want in life.

Believe it.

-- Steve Goodier 

Image: flickr.comThai Jasmine