Squawk Back

Image courtesy of Vera Berard

"Squawks" are maintenance complaints US Air Force pilots leave for their ground crews to address between flights. Somebody sent me these actual squawks and the replies to each from maintenance. Enjoy.

Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Maintenance: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Maintenance: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.
Maintenance: Something tightened in cockpit.

Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Maintenance: Evidence removed.

Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.
Maintenance: Live bugs on order.

Pilot: Number three engine missing.
Maintenance: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.
Maintenance: Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious.

Pilot: Target Radar hums.
Maintenance: Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.

Like they say, if you're too busy to laugh, you're too busy. Do you get the feeling that these people know how to pepper their work with fun?

And speaking of flying, flight attendants also know something about being playful.

Those safety announcements they make at the beginning of every flight must get boring to repeat. Some attendants have fun with them. “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover,” announced one, “but there are only four ways out of this airplane."

I'm not sure if it was the same one who said, “To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

Another attendant put this spin on the announcement: “In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.”

“Your seat cushions can be used for flotation,” another announced. “And in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”

On one flight, which was served by a older-than-average flight crew, the announcement was made: "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

Before takeoff, passengers once heard this: “Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight.”

Heard on a flight just after a particularly hard landing: “That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault. It wasn't the pilot's fault. It wasn't the flight attendant's fault. It was the asphalt.”

I love people like that. Even if I can't always do what I enjoy, I only hope I can at least enjoy myself while I do it.

-- Steve Goodier

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Lessons from the Court

flickr/Charis Tsevis

Life lessons can come from unexpected places. 

I played racquetball for many years, and some of the greatest lessons I learned while playing were not about the game, but about life. Here are some of the more important life lessons that that I learned on the court:

1. People play better when they are encouraged. It's true in all of life. People do better when others cheer them on, rather than criticizing, condemning and judging. My influence as a parent, a leader, a supervisor or a friend is most effective when I encourage those around me.

2. When two or more people occupy a small space, they need to get along. It’s against the rules of the game to push people around. This principle applies to any small space: homes, schools, places of work, communities and even our planet.

3. The only way to get better is to practice, on the court and off. In every area of life, the only way to improve is to practice. Confidence takes practice. Leadership takes practice. Nurturing a mind or a spirit takes practice. Improving relationships with others takes practice. Simply learning how to be happy takes practice. And remember, there are always people willing to help.

4. Much of success is about paying attention. On the court, those who lose their focus, lose games. In life, people who are too distracted by yesterday’s regrets or tomorrow’s problems will never experience the fullness and joy of today.

5. There are always people who will do better than you. Always. But your job is not to be the best. If you simply strive to be YOUR best, you will have succeeded.

6. When playing doubles, teams that cooperate wins games. No team, no household, no small group, no faith community, no business, no enterprise will succeed that is plagued with internal squabbling.

7. Failures are lessons. When I lose a game badly, it is not a personal failure. Rather, I thank my opponent for the free lesson and figure out where I need to work. Failures are not endings; they are valuable opportunities to learn.

8. It isn't over until the last point is scored. Many victories are snatched after one comes back from almost insurmountable odds. So it is with life.

9. Work can be fun, but fun should never become merely work. A racquetball game is still a game and should be enjoyed. In life, there is always joy to be found and shared.

10. On the court, the only way to score is to serve. Likewise, service is key to life. People who make a difference find ways to serve others. And those people who are happiest and most satisfied with their lives are those who have learned the value of giving their time, energy and resources away. Great lives are built on service. 

Life lessons can come from anywhere. And I have the rest of my life to keep learning them.

-- Steve Goodier



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Are You Having Fun Yet?

Plato said that work should be play. Some airline employees have taken his injunction seriously. After landing, one flight attendant announced, "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." There’s a flight attendant who knows how to turn her work into play.

She may have been the same one who, as the passengers disembarked from the aircraft, announced, “Last one off the plane must clean it.”

A British insurance agent has fun with the accident reports he reads from some of his clients. Like the one who wrote: “I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.” You know, stationary traffic can be like that.

Another client reported, “Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.” Voodoo would be a worry.

Before he became an actor, Ray Liotta worked in a cemetery. “I had a hundred people under me, and it was quiet,” he fondly remembers. Actually, that doesn’t sound half bad to me.

I have friends in the medical industry. She is a pharmacist and he is a sales rep for a pharmaceutical company. When I first met them I asked what they did for a living. He said, “She makes drugs and I sell them.”

I like the idea of injecting some play into work. And one of the great benefits is this: when our work is more fun, we like it better. And when we like it better, we do it better.

Are you having fun yet?

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Kevin Morris

Six Traits of Healthy Families

It takes some adjusting to live in a family, and some people have difficulty making it work. Maybe that's why comedian George Burns used to say, "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." Sometimes that's true. But it's also true that more happiness can be found when we learn how to make our family life better, whether we live in a family or just visit relatives from time to time.

Family consultant Dolores Curran, in her book Traits of a Healthy Family (1984), drew on responses of more than 500 professionals who work with families of all kinds and shapes. A number of core values and behaviors surfaced in families these professionals generally consider to be healthy. Here are a few of those top qualities. How many do you find in your family?

• Families considered healthy practice good communication and listening. In fact, they work on this.
• In these families, members experience plenty of affirmation and support. A migrant worker who often spends weeks away from home puts it like this: "Home is a place to go back to if things get rough out there." It is where you are valued, affirmed and loved.
• When they are together, healthy families try to have a good time. Author Charlie Shedd says, "Whenever parents ask me, 'How can I keep my children off drugs?' I say, 'Have fun.'" Evidently, the family that plays together, stays together.
• These families share the work, too. There is a sense of shared responsibility. Everyone helps out; everyone pitches in.
• There is a high level of trust in healthier families. The fastest way to drive a wedge between family members is to violate that trust.
• Finally, these families usually share a common religious core and move toward similar spiritual goals.

No family is perfect -- far from it! But families that work on these six traits will soon find themselves happier and healthier.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: freeimage.com/Samantha Villagran