Magic Keys to Living with Integrity

“Learn to say no,” said Charles Spurgeon. “It will be of more use to you than to be able to read Latin.” These days we can get along amazingly well without being able to read Latin. But we absolutely need to learn to say no, and more importantly, when to say it.

One educator used to say that no society can last long unless it has a quorum of “unpurchasable people.” These are people of principle who cannot be bought; people who have learned to say no. These so-called unpurchasable people are those rare souls we can absolutely trust. They are glue that holds society together.

Whitney Seymour, in the book Making A Difference, tells us of such an unpurchasable man. This man was a Union general in charge of the occupied territory surrounding New Orleans toward the end of the American Civil War. He was pressed by local plantation owners to permit them to haul their cotton to the wharves in order for it to be sold for shipment to England. The general controlled all the wagons and horses, and his orders from high command in Washington were clear. He was not to let the cotton crop get to market.

One day, however, two Southern ladies were ushered into the general’s office - a “grande dame” and a beautiful young companion. The older lady came right to the point. She said that the landowners needed the temporary use of transport facilities to move their cotton. The North did not wish to force England into the war, she argued, and was allowing some merchant ships to slip through the blockade. Therefore, the Union would not be opposed to the sale of cotton for English textile mills. To show her gratitude she handed over $250,000 in gold certificates. “And if you need other inducements, this young lady will supply them,” she added. They departed, leaving behind a distressed general holding the beautiful young woman’s address.

The general immediately dispatched this message to Washington: “TO THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: I have just been offered two hundred and fifty thousand dollars and the most beautiful woman I have ever seen to betray my trust. I am depositing the money with the Treasury of the United States, and request immediate relief from this command. They are getting close to my price.”

Many others may have fallen for the seductive offer. And though his decision was no doubt difficult to make, how much harder might his life have eventually become had he gone the other way? 

Author W. Clement Stone speaks of magic keys that unlock a trustworthy life. He says, “Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.”

And integrity is what it’s about, isn’t it? 

A life of integrity usually begins with the magic keys of saying no to compromise, facing the truth and doing what is right, even when it is difficult. 

It’s been said that if you have integrity, nothing else matters. But it’s also true that if you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Alan Levine

Tending to Your Inner Life

Image by Bert van 't Hul

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."

The lawyers squirmed as he continued. To the one on his left he said, "You gave me $15,000." To the other, he said, "And you, gave me $10,000."

The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out some cash. Handing it to the first one, he said, "Now then, I'm returning $5,000 and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits."

Where is a person of character when you need one?

A whole and healthy life -- a life of character and integrity -- is shaped from the inside. Author Anthony J. D'Angelo says that “the greatest gift you can ever give yourself is a little bit of your own attention.” Authenticity has little to do with outward appearances, or even reputations. It's all about giving your life, especially your inner life, the attention it needs so you may grow into a person you can fully respect. You might say it's an inside job.

But becoming that person doesn't happen all at once. An authentic and genuine life grows like a sturdy tree. And like a tree, it grows slowly.

Every time you make a different and better decision, it grows a little. Every time you choose to do the right thing, even when nobody would find out otherwise, it grows a little. Every time you act with compassion, relinquish your right to strike back, take a courageous stand, admit fault or accept responsibility, it grows a little.

A life of character is like a well-tended tree. And if your life is a gift given to you, then what you do with it is the gift you return. But be patient.

No work you'll ever complete;
no project you'll ever attempt;
no skill you'll ever master;
no book you'll ever write;
no race you'll ever run;
no sculpture you'll ever create;
no task you'll ever perform;
no structure you'll ever build;
nothing you will ever do --
is more important than the life you shape
one day at a time.

Tend to your inner life, give it the attention it needs, and I promise you one thing: you won't be disappointed with the results.

– Steve Goodier 

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Painted with a Different Brush

One man who loved the color yellow had yellow carpet, yellow furniture, yellow drapes, yellow walls and even yellow appliances in his yellow kitchen. He slept in a yellow bed with yellow covers and wore yellow pajamas. He got sick. You guessed it ... yellow jaundice.

He called a doctor who came to his apartment building. The manager told him he'd have no trouble finding the right one. "You just go down the hall and come to a yellow door," he said. "That's the one."

In a few moments the doctor was back. The apartment manager asked, "Were you able to help him?"

The doctor replied, "Help him! I couldn't even FIND him!"

I suppose it's not always a good idea to blend too closely with your surroundings. And that holds true for the way we think and behave, too. We may not always want to be like everyone else around us. I admire those people willing to stand out from the crowd.

People like a Miami mother who came to police and spilled out cash and coins totaling $19.53. Her young son added another 85 cents to the little pile. It turns out that, after two days, they were the only people to return money scooped up from an armored truck that toppled on an overpass and rained more than half a million dollars onto the street below. Police said that witnesses reported seeing rush-hour commuters loading money into their cars and driving off while the armored truck employees lay bleeding. Police had pleaded with residents to return the money, but got nothing but laughter until a mother and a boy came in.

In a world that seemed to think alike, two people had a different idea. They refused to blend in with those around them. It was as if they were painted with a different brush. "I have children and I needed to set a good example," said the mother of six, who could have used a little extra cash to supplement her low retail store wage.

Most people talk about values and what they believe to be right and wrong. But I've noticed that our REAL values can be seen by the way we live. It is the things we do and the choices we make that show what we truly believe.

An 11-year-old boy who turned in 85 cents because he felt "it was wrong for me to keep anything" stood out from the crowd. And a mother who wanted to teach her children to do the right thing set an example they will never forget. Like Ruth E. Renkel says, "Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritances."

When this Miami mother one day passes away, she will leave her children a rich inheritance. Maybe not a pile of money, but she will leave them an example of a life of integrity and self respect, an example of what it is like to be painted with a different brush. She will leave them something far more important than wealth.

If her children inherit her values, anything else is just money.

Paint them fortunate.

-- Steve Goodier

image: flickr.com/Daniela Nobili