The Finer Points of Positive Motivation

Image courtesy of arte ram

One wife waited patiently, then impatiently, for her husband to repair the lawn mower as he had promised. One day, not wanting to confront him in anger, she tried another tack. That was the day he came home and found her seated on the ground snipping grass with sewing scissors, one blade at a time. He watched in absolute amazement. Then he went into the house and returned with a toothbrush.

"Honey," he said, "when you finish cutting the grass would you mind sweeping the sidewalks?"

They both laughed. And, more importantly, he turned his attention to the mower.

We've all been there. We want to encourage a child to do her homework, or a spouse to complete a project, or a colleague to follow through. How can we encourage without criticizing, nagging, berating or pushing?

Maybe because I'm the one that occasionally has to be nudged, I've learned a few important things about the finer points of positive motivation.

First, whenever possible, try to keep it light-hearted. The careful use of humor can work in any relationship to make the point in a way it will be heard. Sometimes we are so frustrated we know that however we say it, it will be bound to come out wrong. These are especially the times when humor may be needed.

Second, without exception, be polite and respectful. Sometimes it's more about how we say it than what we say. Too much of the world is run on the theory that you don't need road manners if you drive a five-ton truck. No one wants to be forced, pushed, run over, cajoled or manipulated. They want to be respected.

Finally, as often as you can, show appreciation. Novelist Arnold Bennett had a publisher who boasted about the consistently exceptional work of his assistant. One day while visiting the publisher's office, Bennett struck up a conversation with the valued employee. He told her what her boss said about her work. "What's your secret?" he asked.

"It's not my secret," said the assistant, "it's his." She went on to tell him that her boss always acknowledges and appreciates everything she does, regardless how insignificant. That is why she finds it so easy to take pride in her work. The appreciation of her employer nudges her toward constant improvement.

These are a few of the finer points of positive motivation. And even if motivation is not your purpose, respect and appreciation, topped off with a little humor is bound to improve any relationship.

-- Steve Goodier


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Four Traits of Effective Leaders

A young officer in the Army discovered that he had no change when he tried to buy a soft drink from a vending machine. He flagged down a passing private and asked him, “Do you have change for a dollar?”

The private said cheerfully, “I think so. Let me take a look.”

The officer drew himself up stiffly and said, “Soldier, that is no way to address a superior. We’ll start all over again. Do you have change for a dollar?”

The private came to attention, saluted smartly, and said, “No, sir!”

Each of us commands some authority. There are or will be those we guide, supervise, rear, mentor or lead. Some of us will be effective and others will feel as if we’re running a cemetery: we’ve got a lot of people under us and nobody’s listening.

Much has been written and taught about leadership, but I find that at least four traits are common in all people of authority who effectively elicit cooperation and respect from those who look up to them. Whether you are a parent, whether you find yourself in the workplace, sitting on a volunteer committee or teaching some-one a new skill, these traits will help you effectively guide those who would seek to follow.

These good leaders are...

Listeners. They take time to listen to the suggestions and concerns of those they endeavor to lead.

Encouragers. They don’t try to do it all themselves. Neither do they motivate by force or guilt. They encourage others and help bring out their best.

Assertive. They say what needs to be said without being unkind. They tell the truth as they see it, openly and frankly.

Decisive. They know what needs to be done and they make timely, even difficult, decisions when necessary. But they can also take charge without running over the people in their lives.

In short, good leaders L-E-A-D!

It’s said that the trouble with being a leader today is that you can’t be sure whether people are following you or chasing you. But those who will develop these four traits are sure to find that their authority will be valued and respected.

-- Steve Goodier


Image: flickr.com/Hamed Saber