Thermometer or Thermostat - Which Will You Be?

Do you know the difference between a thermometer and a thermostat? 

A thermometer measures the temperature. It doesn’t do anything about it. A thermostat measures the temperature and then responds. If the temperature is too high, a thermostat may shut off the heat. If the temperature is too low, a thermostat may trigger heat to turn on. It measures temperature and it does something about it. While a thermometer is passive, a thermostat is active. 

Sometimes I am more like a thermometer. It's good for me to know which problems I should respond to and which ones I should step back from. It’s good to know my boundaries; some problems are mine and some belong to others. 

At times, thermometers are just what we need. They size up a situation but don’t try to fix it.

On the other hand, if a circumstance requires me to respond, avoiding it because it is difficult or because I don’t like conflict may only make it worse. Sometimes I need to be a thermostat, not a thermometer. There is a time for action. A time to own the problem and do something about it. 

There’s wisdom in knowing when a thermometer is called for (time to stand down), and when a thermostat is needed (time to step up). 

Some questions worth considering are these:

If I don’t respond to this problem, is it because I don’t like conflict? Because I’d rather not be involved? Or do I intentionally not respond because my jumping in may be the wrong thing to do?

If I do respond to this situation, is it because the problem is truly mine and nothing will change until I act? Or is it because it’s just easier to do it myself instead of allowing others to struggle?

Thermometers and thermostats. Today – which will you be?

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/creative commons

When You’re Dead in the Water

A Life Support System reader once told me a fascinating story about the fabled USS Constitution, a 19th Century American warship affectionately called “Old Ironsides.” During the 1812 conflict between Britain and America, the crew of the Constitution sighted what appeared to be several American ships blockading a harbor. Overnight the ship joined her supposed allies, only to find in the morning that she had closed up with five enemy British vessels. The worst thing was that there was no wind, making it impossible to sail away again.

 

With the Constitution in deep danger, her captain had to come up with another way of moving. For two days he and the crew crept slowly away from the British ships by sending an anchor ahead in one of the ship's lifeboats, dropping it, and then using the capstan to pull the ship towards safety. In this fashion, hour after hour the ship inched ever-so-slightly away from the enemy. The arduous work of pulling up anchors from the bottom of the bay, loading them into small boats, rowing impossibly heavy boats toward open sea, wrestling the anchors overboard and towing the ship toward anchor must have been an excruciating and mind-wracking ordeal for the crew - and especially with the enemy so close.

The opposing captains soon realized what the Constitution was doing and employed the same tactic in pursuit. But the American ship had widened the gap just enough that, when wind finally returned, the British were unable to catch her.

In Sydney Smith’s encouraging words, "It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do little - do what you can.” The crew of the Constitution did what little they could, though it may have seemed almost useless at the time. 

Maybe you feel as if you are stuck - dead in the water. Maybe all you can do is barely move the ship of your life an inch at a time. Maybe it feels as if you are getting nowhere. And maybe it seems that the almost imperceptible movement forward is the hardest thing you’ve ever done.

But will you do nothing because you can only do a little? If one tiny step is all you can take, will you take it today?

--Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Stuart Rankin

Life Is Meant to Be Lived

Life is to be lived. No excuses. No reservations. No holding back.

An enchanting story about the talented violinist Fritz Kreisler tells how he once came across a beautiful instrument he wanted to acquire. When he finally raised the money for the violin, he returned to buy it and learned that it had already been sold to a collector.

He went to the new owner's home in order to try to persuade him to sell the violin. But the collector said it was one of his prized possessions and he could not let it go. The disappointed Kreisler turned to leave, but then asked a favor. "May I play the instrument once more before it is consigned to silence?"

Permission was granted and the great musician began to play. The violin sang out a quality of music so beautiful that the collector himself could only listen in wonderment. "I have no right to keep that to myself," he said after the musician finished. "The violin is yours, Mr. Kreisler. Take it into world, and let people hear it."

William Arthur Ward said, "If you believe in prayer, pray; if you believe in serving, serve; if you believe in giving, give." For you and I are exquisite violins and our music is meant to be heard.

I want to live my life that way -- to take it into the world and live it fully. I'd rather burn out than rust out. I'd rather be used up than die not having done whatever I could...wherever I would.

I'm not talking about wearing out due to unrestrained over-activity. Happiness is never found in excessive busyness. But it is found in investing our lives in others. And letting your music be heard.

In the end, I know that my happiness will not have been about my ability or my inability. It will be more about my availability. 

I want to live my life. No excuses. No reservations. No holding back.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: Flickr.com/kimverlihalili  

Not Just A Pipe Dream

Are your dreams and beautiful ideas just pipe dreams?

According to Webb Garrison in his book Why You Say It (Rutledge Hill Press, 1992), the term “pipe dream” has its origins in the 19th century. The drug opium was imported into Europe from Asia and was widely used in certain literary circles in Britain. Opium was smoked in a pipe and, once under the influence, people had hallucinations that were referred to as pipe dreams. So today, an unrealistic or impractical idea may be quickly discounted as a pipe dream.

But not all seemingly impossible or far-fetched ideas are merely pipe dreams. A case in point is the dream millionaire Eugene Lang gave to high school students in the impoverished neighborhood in which he was raised. Addressing a class of eighth-graders in the South Bronx, Lang threw away his prepared speech. The empty eyes of the students in attendance told him they were not interested in his “motivational” talk. Their neighborhood had become a battlefield of poverty, drugs and gangs, and a breeding ground of despair. About 80% of them would not complete high school. Few would ever leave the neighborhood. Fewer still would climb out of poverty. That is why Mr. Lang tossed aside his speech. The students didn’t need a speech; they needed a dream.

Then, the words that came from Eugene Lang’s mouth may have even astonished him! “If you graduate from high school,” he told the youth, “I will send you to college.” Send you to college!

For the next four years he worked with the school and kept the dream alive. And the results were phenomenal: all but two of the 60 teenagers finished high school! True to his word, he sent them to college. “He gave us hope,” one student said, no doubt speaking for the majority. Another one of the students, upon meeting Lang later, said to him, “Mr. Lang, we did the impossible.”

Writer Sarah Ban Breathnach says, “The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.” Because not every seemingly unrealistic idea is a pipe dream. When that beautiful dream is combined with hard work and great expectation, then the impossible can be achieved. For when you and I believe enough in a magnificent dream, most anything can happen.

-- Steve Goodier


Image: freeimage.com/Maria Amelia Paiva Abrão

Getting to Your Life Work

Image by John Haslam

It might be more important than you realize...

A silly story is told about a farmer who stopped by his neighbors' home to let them know them that their son was stuck in a mud hole. "How deep is he sunk?" the boy's father asked.

"About to his knees," the farmer replied. He looked decidedly unconcerned.

"Well," said the father, "only up to his knees -- we've got time to set awhile an' jaw before we go."

"I don't think so," the visitor answered. "He's in head first."
   
As ridiculous as it is, the story suggests that there is a time to wait and there is a time to act. Wisdom is knowing which to do.

Some of us err on the side of jumping in and doing without thinking it through first. I have done that more than once. I've acted impulsively and regretted my haste later.

However, I sometimes catch myself erring on the other side. I too often over-think a project or problem and put off doing anything about it almost indefinitely. Which may not be a problem if I postpone a little project around the house or reading a particular book on my shelf. The project and the book will still be there tomorrow. Some things can wait with no dire consequences and I don't want to be enslaved by my to-do list.

But what if we're talking about something important...like fixing a relationship or making needed life changes? I call that life work. Though usually not urgent, it is some of the most important work a person can do. And the cost of putting off vital life work is often higher than one might realize. Broken relationships that could have been satisfying bring heartache. Attitudinal or behavioral changes never addressed will impede your personal growth and happiness for years. And what about those beautiful life dreams never pursued? Life work.

I appreciate these words from writer Og Mandino: “To be always intending to make a new and better life but never to find time to set about it is as…to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to the next until you’re dead.” It never seems very urgent any particular day, but to leave crucial life work behind can be one of the most destructive decisions a person can make.

Here is an important question. A year from now how will you feel about not beginning that life work you may be putting off today? Just beginning it may be all that is needed for now.

Since I began this piece with a silly story, let me end with another one. A golfer had an absolutely horrible day at the links. His ball lay on an anthill and he swung viciously with a five-iron. Again and again he missed the ball and chopped away at the hill, killing ants and sending sand flying through the air. One frightened ant turned to another and said in panic, “We’d better get on the ball if we want to stay alive!”

And that's the point -- if you have been putting off important life work, then this is your nudge to get on the ball.

I guarantee this...a year from now you'll be glad you did.

-- Steve Goodier

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Use Your Greatest Power

 

Do you know what it is?

A little book that had a huge affect on me was written by Martin Kohe and titled Your Greatest Power. I read it when I was young. Kohe makes a convincing case that your greatest power is your power to choose. He challenges his readers to use their greatest power.

Kohe relates an interesting story about Benjamin Franklin, one of the great Founding Fathers of the United States. Franklin did something remarkable early in his adult life. At age 20 he was keenly aware of so-called character defects that hindered him. He noticed that he had difficulty getting along with people. He tended to argue too much. He had trouble making and keeping friends. The list continued.

Franklin wanted to do something about it. So he made a choice. He chose to examine his own personality and make a list of what he considered undesirable personality traits. Then he chose 13 virtues he wanted to enhance in his life, each one designed to help him become a better person. They were:

1. To be temperate, especially in the consumption of food and alcohol.
2. To practice silence and to speak only words that benefit others.
3. To live an orderly life.
4. To resolutely do what ought to be done.
5. To practice frugality.
6. To work diligently and manage time well.
7. To be sincere and honest.
8. To do what is right and just.
9. To be moderate in all things.
10. To practice cleanliness.
11. To remain tranquil and calm, particularly in situations that cannot be avoided.
12. To practice sexual constraint.
13. To learn humility by imitating the figures of Jesus and Socrates.

(He added that last one at the suggestion of a friend who noted that he might be too conceited.)

It was New Year's Day. Franklin finished his list and determined to work on each virtue for a week. He did this for an entire year, spending four weeks total on each, until he developed new habits.

Benjamin Franklin was known for one of the finest personalities in America. People looked up to him and admired him. Later in his life, when the colonies needed help from France, they sent Franklin. The French liked him and gave him what he wanted. And it all began with his deciding to use his greatest power – his power to choose. When he chose to make needed life changes, everything was different.

Suppose Franklin had chosen to go through life without using his greatest power. Suppose he reasoned that there was really nothing he could do about himself. Would France have supported the colonies? Would Americans have rallied behind his ideas? The history of his new-born country may have been significantly different.

It's abundantly clear to me that one good wish changes nothing. But one good decision changes everything. My power to choose, to make a good decision, spells the difference between simply wishing and making real life changes.

Are you using your greatest power? What if you were to examine your life and make a list of desired personality traits? I did that, like Franklin, for a full year. Only my traits were different. I wanted to bring qualities into my life that I felt were lacking, or at least in need of a boost. The qualities I chose were the biblical fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness and self control. I focused on each for a week and started the list all over every nine weeks.

I noticed that, after a year, those qualities were more apparent. I was growing in new directions. But something else happened, too. The daily discipline and focus taught me the life-long habit of making needed changes by bringing positive traits into my life.

Your power to choose can never be taken from you. It can be neglected and it can be ignored. But if used, it can make all the difference.

Poet Susan Polis Schutz puts it this way:

"This life is yours.
Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well.
Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly.
Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature.
Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you.
Take the power to make your life happy."

Use your greatest power. You may not change history, but you will certainly change your future.

-- Steve Goodier


Image by Dodgerton Skillhause

Will You Play Your Music?

 

Image courtesy of Betsy Ray

I heard of a recruiter for jump school, the name given for military parachute training, who explains the training this way: “Jump school is three weeks long. The first week they separate the men from the boys.” (Presumably, they also separate the women from the girls.) He goes on to say, “Week two they separate the men from the fools. And week three, the fools jump.”

We once visited friends and sat outside where we watched  paragliders and hang gliders soaring overhead, suspended from colorful wings. They rose up into the sky upon invisible warm currents of air and floated effortlessly by -- trusting in their equipment and their ability to keep them from crashing into the earth. But isn't that risky? Maybe a little. But what a thrill to experience!

My son is a rock climber. Using toeholds and fingertip holds he makes his way up the shear face of a cliff. Though he fell once and broke his arm, he's back out there again. Why? Isn't that risky? Perhaps, but he likes the feeling of satisfaction of conquering the mountain and succeeding at a difficult endeavor.

Of course, one doesn't have to participate in sports to experience risks. Just buy stocks and bonds. I've been told that October is one of the riskiest months to buy stocks. The other dangerous months are January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, November and December.

There is risk in all of life. But aren't some things worth it? Artist Vincent van Gogh put it this way: “The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore.” There are good and valid reasons to take necessary risks. In fact, I am sure we cannot experience a full life and shy away from all risk at the same time. We usually have a choice...we can choose to live boldly or we can choose fear. But be sure of this: the one we pick is all important.

Especially when it comes to major life decisions. Deciding to pursue a compelling idea. Going back to school. Changing vocations. Marriage and family. Moving to a brand new location ... these can be chancy life choices. We can listen to our hearts, or we can decide not to take risks, not to do the scary thing and, perhaps, not to fully live.

May Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Inc., once remarked, “Most people live and die with their music still unplayed. They never dare to try.” Is that true? If so, I think that is sad. Is it because most people are afraid? At the end of my life, I don't want to say I always played it safe, I want to say I played my music. I want to say I attempted to stretch my wings and jump. I want to believe I took reasonable risks at the right times.

I have not always chosen the safest path. I've made my mistakes, plenty of them. I sometimes jump too soon and fail to appreciate the consequences. But I've learned something important along the way: I've learned to heed the call of my heart. I've learned that the safest path is not always the best path and I've learned that the voice of fear is not always to be trusted. I've also learned that, if I am to live my life to the fullest, I must not let my music die inside me.

Will you just play it safe? Or will you play your music?

-- Steve Goodier

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A Hole in the World

Do you remember the Eagle's song “Hole in the World”? It begins like this:

There's a hole in the world tonight.
There's a cloud of fear and sorrow.
There's a hole in the world tonight.
Don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow.
[Music and lyrics by Don Henley and Glenn Frey]

I am an optimist and constantly look for the best. But it does seem, at least at times, that there is a hole in the world.

We live in a day of almost unrestrained violence. Children can be snatched from homes and slain at school. Bombs and missiles are exploded in public places. There is war and there are rumors of war. No community, no race, no nation is immune to nor protected from a growing culture of violence. It's as if there is a hole in the world. Now, more than ever, we need to learn a different way, for the path we're following leads to a dark and dangerous wilderness.

I like the way of Azim Khamisa and Ples Felix, two men who experienced first hand a cloud of fear and sorrow. One deadly evening in 1995, 14-year-old Tony Hicks shot and killed a 20-year-old college student and pizza deliveryman in San Diego, California. Tony and several other gang members ordered pizza and, when it was delivered, Tony was told by his gang to shoot the young man who delivered the food, Tariq Khamisa.

Tariq's father Azim was enraged at the senseless killing. "There's something really wrong with a society where kids kill kids," he spat. He was angry with the kids, but he was even more upset with a culture that breeds so much violence.

Shortly after his son's death, Azim heard from a gentleman named Ples Felix. Ples was Tony Hick's grandfather and guardian. Azim invited Ples to his home and the two men shared their mutual grief and heartache. But it didn't stop there -- they also decided to do something. "I realized that change had to start with me," Azim reasoned. Therefore, though he may have wanted revenge, the grieving father chose a different way to respond to his son's death.

What happened? The victim's father toured the United States with the killer's grandfather. The two men visited schools with a message of nonviolence. They told the story of Tariq and Tony -- one child dead and the other in prison. And in a growing worldwide culture of violence, these two men of peace changed lives. They warmed hearts and stimulated minds of countless young people. They showed us all there is a different way to live.

David Orr, college professor and author, talks about this different way of living. “The plain fact is that the planet does not need more successful people,” he says. “But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places.”

I like that...the world needs “people who live well in their places.” People like Azim Khamisa and Ples Felix.

I want to be one of those people. So I will choose a different way. I will choose to be a peacemaker, a healer and a life-bringer. To the best of my ability, I will try to live well in my place.

Because I believe there does not have to be a hole in the world tomorrow.

-- Steve Goodier

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Just Do What You Know

Someone pointed out that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it sure beats a blank stare for starting a conversation. Which is all right, for I suppose I have about as little knowledge as anyone.

But maybe how much knowledge we have isn’t the point. It’s not always about what we know, what we don’t know and what we think we know. It’s more about what we choose to do with whatever knowledge we may have.

News commentator Paul Harvey once related a story which took place during the American presidential administration of Jimmy Carter. Evidently, daughter Amy Carter needed help with homework. It was Friday and the assignment, a question about the Industrial Revolution, was due on Monday. Neither Amy nor her mother quite understood the question she was research, so mother Rosalyn asked a White House aide to run the question by the Labor Department.

Sunday afternoon a truck pulled up at the White House loaded with a computer printout. Remember dot matrix printing and tractor feed paper? Someone assumed the president needed the information urgently, so the Labor Department assigned a team to work all weekend to prepare the documents.

When first lady Rosalyn learned that the research had cost hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars she was horrified. But Amy went ahead and used the information to complete her homework.

On that homework assignment, by the way, she got a “C.”

 I see a parable here. You and I are exposed to a “truckload” of information every day. I recently read that a peasant in tenth century Europe was exposed to roughly the same volume of information in a lifetime as is published in just one daily edition of the New York Times today. We’re inundated with information and likely know more than any generation before us.

But in the end, it’s not about how much knowledge we may have. It’s about what we choose do with what we know that means anything.

My own life can improve significantly if I simply take what I already know and apply it. I know how to forgive, for example, yet I am slow to do it. I know how to love, when to be patient and why I should share generously. I also know that if I do these things as often as possible, it will make a huge difference in my life and to others I care about. But too often I’m reluctant to do them.

Most of the time I even know how to be happy. I bet that you do, too. And I know that if I habitually do the kinds of things that promote a happier and more fulfilled life, I will be the better for it.

A full and happy life does not come from knowing more than others. And we don’t always need to find the latest book on happiness or a popular self help expert to guide us. Most of us already know the greater part of what we need to do to be our best and to get where we want to go. But this is key: to consistently apply what we know every day. In other words, just do it.  

You know enough. Apply what you know today and things can truly be different tomorrow.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: freeimages.com/Mary Gober

Going for It

Columnist Dave Barry says this about his father: "My dad ... he'd try anything -- carpentry, electrical wiring, plumbing, roofing. From watching him, I learned a lesson that still applies to my life today: No matter how difficult a task may seem, if you're not afraid to try it, you can do it. And when you're done, it will leak."

I’m the King of Leaks. But there’s something to be said for taking a risk and going for it. I am convinced that one of the great necessities of life is courage.

We’ve heard it said, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” But the motto of some of us is more like "Nothing ventured, nothing lost." How often are we so afraid to try to do something new or to go in a new direction that we never venture beyond the familiar? "Better to be safe than sorry" has trapped too many unhappy people in a cocoon of their comfort zones.

What would you be doing with your life today if you had more courage yesterday? Where could you be tomorrow if you decide to take a reasonable risk today?

Humorist J. Upton Dickson once said he wanted to start a society called the “Dependent Order of Really Meek and Timid Souls.” When you make an acrostic of the first letters of its name, you have the word "Doormats." According to Dickson, the Doormats could have an official insignia -- a yellow caution light. Their official motto might be: "The meek shall inherit the earth, if that's okay with everybody."

Fear. Is there anything so crippling to the spirit as fear? How might things be different if we acted with just a little more courage? After all, who doesn’t feel fear? But the truth is that courage is not fearlessness; courage is deciding to act anyway.

Over the years I’ve enjoyed letters from some of our Life Support System family all around the world. One such friend wrote to me in response to an article and said, “I always say that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly! That way nothing scares me off. Try most anything.” Once she was able to let go of the outcome and decided not to care about whether she succeeded or failed, she found the courage to jump in and try.

U.S.A. essayist and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson said it like this: “Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.”

Boldness is not the same as carelessness. And I have made plenty of mistakes in life. But I am quite sure that my bitterest memories come because I was afraid to act. I sometimes wonder what my life would be like today if I had been a little bolder, a little more daring, when opportunities showed themselves.

This last part of my life I will err on the side of boldness. And if I overstep, I can at least rest assured that I didn’t squander whatever gifts I have because I was afraid to venture into the unknown.

-- Steve Goodier


Image: 1001FreeDownloads.com/Tzunghaor

Do All the Good You Can

Flickr.com/Hannah Swithinbank

Someone advised, “If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.”

You’ve probably heard it said that it’s nice to be important, but it’s important to be nice. And there’s truth in that. But isn’t there something even more important than being nice? More important even that being good? What about DOING good? What about standing up and being counted? When courageous people take unpopular stances, they aren’t always seen by their opposition in a soft and gentle light.

Not too long into the American Civil War the Union finally won a victory at Antietam. President Lincoln used the occasion to produce a proclamation to free American slaves. He called his cabinet together and laid the document before them. He had been shaking the hands of well-wishers all morning and his arm and hand were stiff. He rested his arm and spoke to Secretary of State William Seward.

“If my name ever goes into history, it will be for this act, and my whole soul is in it. If my hand trembles when I sign the Proclamation, all who examine the document hereafter will say, ‘He hesitated.’”

Then he picked up a pen and signed “Abraham Lincoln” in bold writing. There were a large number of people that day who would not have used the word “nice” to describe his action. In fact, a great many not only couldn’t say anything kind, they couldn’t even be vague. He was slandered, maligned and demonized. But that signature, coupled with a later Union victory, changed the course of history forever. American slaves were finally to be free.

How many slave-owners of the day were reputed to be nice people? And in most areas of their lives, many probably were. But there comes a time for each of us to stand up and do right thing. To DO good.

I hope that that my personal moral code will always be broader than simply trying to be a pleasant person. I hope I don’t back down when I have a chance to DO good, to make a real difference, even at a cost.

I don’t think it was ever put better by anyone than by eighteenth century church reformer John Wesley.

"Do all the good you can,
by all the means you can,
in all the ways you can,
in all the places you can,
at all the times you can,
to all the people you can,
as long as ever you can."

What if we tried to live by the motto: DO all the good you can? Now, THAT would be nice.

-- Steve Goodier

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Putting First Things First

freeimages.com/Ja Ty

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of duty when he was given the opportunity to prepare his ship to "set sail." With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with sailors and soon the ship churned slowly out of the channel.

The ensign’s efficiency was remarkable. In fact, the talk was that he had set a new record for getting the ship underway.

But his captain was not as pleased. A message delivered to the young officer read, "My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. But next time, you might wait until your captain is aboard before setting off."

What good is a ship without the captain? The ensign did all the right things, but he never did the most important thing.

It is a matter of priorities. I know that I may accomplish a great deal every day. I may do the right things, but am I doing the best things? To borrow language from author Stephen Covey, do I put first things first?

I can relate to the man who believes he spends too much of his time in meetings. "I have this recurring nightmare," he says. "My wife and children are gathered at the cemetery for my funeral. After the service, the funeral director approaches my weeping family and hands them a box containing all my earthly possessions. In the box are 35 years of my annual calendars and diaries. I read over their shoulders as they scan the appointment notes that kept me busy for so many years. It occurs to me how seldom anything of significance was ever accomplished at those gatherings. I turn to look at my tombstone. The epitaph reads, "Daddy has gone to another meeting."

That man could be me. I need to regularly ask myself, "In my most significant relationships, in my work and in my free time, in all areas of my life, am I doing what is truly important? Important to me? I do the mundane. I do the urgent and the pressing. But do I spend enough time with what is actually significant?

I once made this demonstration to an audience. I filled a large, clear jar with coffee beans almost to the top. The beans, I said, represent all of the activities we accomplish in a day. Then I produced two golf balls. "These," I said, "represent a couple of the truly important things in our lives." I asked them to think of the golf balls as time spent with a significant person, such as a family member, or doing something special for somebody else, or developing their spiritual life or just beginning that project they keep putting off. I placed the balls on top of the beans then tried to screw on the lid. I couldn’t do it. There were too many beans in the jar.

"Does this remind you of a typical day?" I asked. "We’re so busy doing the usual we can’t seem to squeeze in anything else."

I emptied the jar and started over. "But what if we put first things first? What if we start each day doing something special, something we truly WANT to do? I placed the golf balls into the jar first. Then I poured in the coffee beans – all of them. They fell neatly around the balls and filled the jar to the top. When I screwed on the lid it fit perfectly.

And that’s the secret to building the kind of life you want. I’ve discovered that if I can begin every day with one or two things that are important to me, the other stuff still fits into place just fine.

I don’t want to just do all of the RIGHT things and never get around to the BEST things. And I certainly don’t want my life summed up in the sentence, "Daddy has gone to another meeting." So I handle the golf balls first. And in comparison, everything else is just beans.

-- Steve Goodier



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