“I Gave Her My Dream…”

Esther Kim forfeited her chance to be a champion in order to claim an even sweeter victory - a victory of the heart. This is her story.

Esther competed against her childhood friend, Kay Poe, in the U.S. Olympic Trials for her sport of Taekwondo. Esther lost the match, but she went on to win all her other fights, which still qualified her for the finals.

Her friend Kay also won her successive matches. But in her last fight before the finals, disaster struck. Kay dislocated her knee and went down in great pain. Her knee was reset as she lay in agony on the mat. All the while, her friend Esther encouraged her from the sidelines to finish the fight. Courageously, Kay finally stood up and, on one good leg, concluded the match for a win.

The only contestants now remaining were Kay Poe, with an injured leg, and her friend, Esther Kim. One woman would be chosen from these trials for the Olympic team. “I looked at her with one good leg against me with two good legs,” Esther Kim recalled, “and I said, ‘It’s not fair!’”

On the spot, Esther made a hard decision. She forfeited the match to her friend Kay, whose leg was sure to be fully healed for the 2000 Olympic Games. Thanks to a free ticket from the U. S. Olympic Committee to Sydney, Australia, Esther was able to watch and cheer from the stands.

“This was our dream, going to the Olympics,” Esther said. “It’s so hard!” I have cried about it.” But Esther discovered something important. “I gave her my dream,” she said, “but for the first time ever, I feel like a champ.” Esther Kim won a victory far greater than one fought on the mats. She won a victory of the spirit, which qualifies her as a true champion.

As Kay Poe’s father remarked, “The champions aren’t always the ones who have all the medals.” No, sometimes they are cheering from the sidelines. For success and winning is often about victories won in the hidden recesses of the heart. And in the end, no other kind of victory is nearly as satisfactory.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Marc

Getting Where You Want to Go

A funny story has it that, late one night, a party-goer decided it would be best to walk home. He found a shortcut through a poorly lit cemetery and, in the darkness, stumbled into an open and particularly deep grave.

He tried to climb out but the walls were too slippery. Again and again he fell back into the grave. Finally, in exhaustion, he settled in a corner to wait for sunlight.

A little while later another man cutting through the cemetery fell victim to the same grave. He, too, tried desperately to climb and claw his way out, and he was equally unsuccessful.

As he was about to give up in hopeless resignation, he heard a voice from the darkness of his pit: “You’ll never get out of here.” 

He did.

When he first fell into the hole he may have wanted to get out, but after he heard the voice he suddenly HAD to get out. In fact, there was probably nothing more important in his life at that moment than escaping whatever shared the grave with him.

It’s said that every day in Africa, a gazelle wakes up and knows it must outrun the fastest lion to live. And every day in Africa, a lion also wakes up and knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle to live. One could say that, either way, you better wake up running. 

However, one could also say that the difference between whether a gazelle lives or a lion eats depends upon desire. A well-fed lion is likely never to catch a gazelle running for its life, and a daydreaming gazelle might become lunch for any determined lion.

I am learning that the best motivation, whether we want to accomplish a task, go back to school, start something new or kick a habit, usually comes from a desire deep within. To be successful, we must want to do it. Others may certainly help to encourage or to “pump us up,” but, in the end, we will usually get wherever we want to go only if we truly want to go there.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe put it better than I ever could. He said, “Love and desire are the spirit’s wings to great deeds.” Love and desire. They will get you where you want to go.

--Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Mark

Three Simple Words that Change Everything

How wonderful it would be if there were a simple formula for success. “Follow these steps and you will be successful in business, as a parent, as a student, in your vocation or in any endeavor you attempt.” Only if it were that easy.

I think of the man who was honored as “Businessperson of the Year.” At the presentation dinner, a newspaper reporter asked him, “To what do you owe your great success and prosperity?”

“Five things contributed to my success,” said the man. “First, I always treated people fairly. Second, I always offered a fair price. Third, I was always honest. Fourth, I was always generous to my employees. And fifth, my Aunt Edna died a few years back and left me two and a half million dollars.”

Certainly, the top four items on his list are well worth following - fairness, sound business principles, honesty and generosity. Each contributes toward success. And Aunt Edna’s infusion of money certainly helped. 

But there is one behavior that will almost always guarantee that we will succeed at most everything we do. And it is especially important if we want to build whole and happy lives.

Professor Richard Weaver, who taught at Bowling Green State University in Ohio, points us to that behavior. He sums it up in three simple words: “and then some.”

Most people do what is expected of them. But some do what is expected – and then some. They meet their obligations and responsibilities fairly – and then some. They are good friends to their friends – and then some. They build bridges; they mend fences - and then some. They can be counted on in an emergency – and then some. They are considerate and kind – and then some. They donate money, expertise and time - and then some.

There are many paths to getting what you want out of life and becoming the kind of person you want to be in life. But the surest way of succeeding is to remember those three words: and then some.

They are only three simple words, but they change everything.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/bernavazqueze

Fire In The Heart

The teacher quizzed her class: “He drove straight to his goal. He looked neither to the right nor to the left, but pressed forward, moved by a definite purpose. Neither friend nor foe could delay him, nor turn him from his course. All who crossed his path did so at their own peril. What would you call such a man?” A student replied, “A truck driver!” Let’s hope you don’t meet that truck driver on the highway. But I have noticed that those who possess even a fraction of that man’s passion often get where they want to go. The trick, of course, is to maintain enthusiasm. Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel got it right when he said:

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. 

The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. 

The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. 

And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.

Nothing will kill a dream or douse the fire of a good idea more quickly than indifference. To whatever endeavor you commit yourself, be on guard primarily against that spirit-quenching attitude of apathy. “Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something,” says former Olympic gymnast Mary Lou Retton. “It’s our goal in life to find it and keep it lit.” What do you have a fire in your heart for? Most fires will go out if neglected - ask any camper who wakes up cold in the middle of the night. Our job in life is to discover the fire in our heart and to keep it burning. Feed it. Encourage it. Shelter it from those natural elements that threaten to extinguish it. In other words, find it and keep it lit. Who knows what can happen?

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Meighen

Three Keys You Need

A funny story tells about three high school seniors who went to New York for their senior trip. When they arrived in the city, they went immediately to one of the finest hotels and registered for a room. They were assigned a room on the 30th floor.

After settling in, they decided to go see the sights. They toured Manhattan, the Empire State Building, Wall Street and the Statue of Liberty. They finally returned to their hotel utterly exhausted.

When they asked the desk clerk for the key to their room, he said, “I am sorry, the elevators are not running.” He told them that they could either wait or use the stairway. The thought of a soft bed was irresistible, so they decided to climb the stairs – all thirty stories.

One of the boys had an idea. “On the way up, each of us will tell the funniest story we know for ten flights of stairs,” he suggested. The other two agreed and started to climb. When they reached the tenth floor, they were still going strong. By the twentieth floor, their legs were rubber and they panted for breath. The steps grew harder to climb and the one whose turn it was to tell a funny story said, “I’m sorry, I’m just too tired to talk.”

They trudged on in silence. When they reached the 29th floor, one of them began to laugh. He sat down on the steps and laughed hysterically. Finally, he said to his amazed companions, “I just thought of the funniest thing ever. And it happens to be true!”

“What is it?” they asked.

“We left the key in the lobby.”

Many people feel as if they have lost the key to getting what they want in life – meaning, happiness, success, peace, security. They have been trudging and toiling at length but feel as if they are locked out of that place they really want to be. They think, “If only I had the key to a whole and happy life.”

That wise and amazing woman Eleanor Roosevelt gave three keys to meaning, happiness, success and peace. 

1. She said to do whatever comes your way as well as you can. She knew that the key to satisfaction in life is to take pride in whatever you’re given to do, regardless how grand or humble the undertaking.
2. Another key is to think as little as possible about yourself and as much as possible about other people, and also about things that are interesting. Eleanor Roosevelt knew that those who take a genuine interest in the concerns of others and in great ideas lose their desire to worry needlessly about themselves.
3. The third is that, since people receive more joy back when they give joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness you are able to give. She was aware that the key to finding happiness is in giving happiness – wherever and whenever possible.

These are three keys that should neither be lost nor locked away in a safe place. Learn to use them – every day – and you’ll open doors to those important and wonderful things that will make your life worth living.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/jtu

Are You Ready for Results?

One woman tells that she worked as an assistant at a jewelry store. She often arranged for engaged couples to have their wedding bands engraved with something special -- the date they met or married, a sentimental phrase, their names or even their wedding vows. She once asked a bride-to-be what she would like inscribed inside her fiancé’s ring.

“We aren’t very romantic,” the young woman replied.  She added that they were marrying on her fiancé’s birthday so he wouldn’t forget the date.

“But isn’t there something you’ll want him to remember as he looks inside his ring?” the assistant wondered.

“There sure is,” she said. And that’s how “Put it back on!” came to be inscribed inside her husband’s ring.

Perhaps she was trying to help along her husband’s commitment to the relationship.

A woman named Catherine, from Scotland, may have wanted to help along her lover’s commitment to their relationship. For several decades actually. Finally, after 44 years of courtship, her 68-year-old boyfriend George proposed. Maybe he was waiting for a convenient time. Maybe he was waiting to get up the nerve. I don’t know.

Catherine, however, was more than understanding about waiting four decades for him to pop the question. “He is a bit shy, you know,” she said.

Author Ken Blanchard says this about commitment: “There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses - only results.”

Is there an area of your life that feels more like an interest than a commitment? Does it deserve more from you? You can be interested in a job, or you can be committed. You can be interested in a relationship, or you can be committed. Interest may get you a paycheck or someone to be with, but commitment can change things. Whether you are pursuing a project, following a dream, changing a habit or preparing for your future, can you get the results you want without commitment?

Maybe the real question is not about how committed you are, but rather -- are you ready for results? 

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Samuel Hearn

Success Tax

Image by Bernavazqueze

I have learned something about success: I have learned that it comes with a tax.

Achieve your dreams, they say. Anything you want can come your way. Nothing to it, they say. Just follow a simple system and anything and everything can be yours. Not so. There is a tax you pay to get what you want, whether you want more income, healthier relationships, emotional satisfaction, spiritual growth or a well-lived life. It is called dedication.

Orson Welles once said, "My doctor has advised me to give up those intimate little dinners for four, unless, of course, there are three other people eating with me." Some people will tell you that you can lose 25 or 50 pounds in just weeks. It's easy, they say. Not so. Andy Rooney observed that the two biggest sellers in any bookstore are cookbooks and diet books. “Cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food and diet books tell you how not to eat any of it.” If it were easy to lose weight, who’d buy the books?

Some people will tell you that you can have the body of an athlete, or the Incredible Hulk or a fashion model (assuming that’s what you want). It's quick and simple, they say. Not so. It is never easy to succeed at difficult goals. There is a tax, and that tax is called dedication.

Do you want to excel at a sport, play a musical instrument well or become an accomplished artist? One man was lost in New York City. He poked his head into a taxi cab and asked the driver, "How do you get to Yankee Stadium?" The driver responded, "Practice, practice, practice." You want to become really good at something you enjoy? You probably can. But there is a tax to pay and that tax is called dedication.

Many of us would like closer relationships with a spouse or a child or with friends. There are never guarantees, but I promise that those relationships will suffer without dedication. When they were small, I wanted to figure out how to be closer to my young boys. And I noticed what the problem was...I wasn’t spending enough high-quality, significant time with them. So, in addition to my other parental activities, I decided that I would take one of them out for breakfast every week. Just the two of us. For me it was alone time with one child. For my sons, it was a chance to get Dad all by himself -- with no distractions. 

I scheduled the breakfast dates a few days in advance. Some weeks it seemed like more of a nuisance and I was tempted to skip. Some weeks we didn’t have the money. Some weeks I had an unusually busy day ahead and believed I just didn’t have the time. But it was a high priority. I dedicated myself to it and, regardless of good reasons to cancel, I made it happen anyway. (And if truth be told, my sons wouldn’t let me skip -- they looked forward to eating food they usually didn’t get at home.) As I now figure it, I had breakfast alone with one of my children over 500 times. It became a time for listening and talking and bonding; never a time for correcting and persuading (those were the ground rules). As I look back, I made plenty of mistakes as a father, but if I had it to do over again, I would still do the breakfasts.

We pay a tax to succeed at anything worthwhile. That tax is called dedication, and here's the most wonderful part. Once you pay it, once you truly dedicate yourself to something important, you'll find the price was worth it.

-- Steve Goodier

SHARE this message with your Facebook friends.

"LIKE US" on Facebook where you can find a powerful daily quote. 

How Much Do You Yearn?

It can make all the difference...

Christopher Morley has said, “There are three ingredients in the good life: learning, earning and yearning.” And yearning can make up for a great lack in the other two.

In Daniel Steere’s book, I Am, I Can (Fleming H. Revell Co.), the author tells a heart-warming story about the power of yearning. He tells that Columbia University football coach Lou Little was stopped on campus and informed of the unexpected death of the father of one of his players. He agreed to break the news to the student, as he knew that the young man and his father were quite close.

Two days after he went home to attend the funeral, the student returned to campus and was back on the practice field. “What are you doing back so soon?” asked the coach. “You could have taken a week or two...we would have understood.”

“Coach,” the young man said, “my father was buried yesterday, and the rest of the family is taking care of things. Coach Little, I’ve just got to play in that game tomorrow. That’s why I came back today.”

The coach reminded him that tomorrow’s game was a critical game and he might not play at all since he wasn’t a usual starter.

But the student pressed, “I know I haven’t played much, Coach, but I’m asking you for a chance to play tomorrow. I’ve just got to play in that game.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Coach Little said, “Okay, son, tell you what. If we win the toss, I’ll let you play on the receiving team, but I can’t promise you more than that.”

The next day Columbia did win the toss. That young man went into the game and played like he had never played before. In fact, he was playing so well that Lou Little decided to leave him in longer. He had an outstanding day and, largely because of his effort, Columbia won the game.

In the locker room, the coach asked the student, “What in the world happened to you out there? You never played ball like that in your whole life. That’s the best exhibition of football I ever saw. How in the world did you do it?”

“Well, Coach,” the exhausted and exhilarated young man said, “you never met my father, did you?”

“No, I didn’t.” Little replied. “I knew you were very close to your father, and I saw you walking arm in arm across the campus on several occasions, but I never met him.”

“Well, you see,” the student said, searching for the right words, “for most of my life my father was blind – and today was the first day he was able to watch me play.”

There are few qualities more vital than a strong yearning. Earning and learning help, but that desire to reach a little farther, to be a little more, yearning...for a piece of something greater, can often make all the difference.

An admirer once exclaimed to President Theodore Roosevelt, “Mr. Roosevelt, you are a great man!”

“No,” he replied, “Teddy Roosevelt is simply a plain, ordinary man – highly motivated.” It was his yearning that set him apart.

-- Steve Goodier

SHARE this message with your Facebook friends.
"LIKE US" on Facebook where you can find a powerful daily quote.

Destined or Determined?

Image courtesy of Scott Liddell

A sky-diving instructor was asked, “How many successful jumps must a student make before he or she can become certified?”

He answered, “All of them!”

Sky diving, however, is the exception. Is your life built on a series of successes? Do you usually attempt something new and immediately succeed, then succeed again and again? Or more likely, do you find that it is the other way around?

Our successes are often built on smaller failures. We fell off the bike a few times before we learned to ride. And we produced a few culinary failures before we baked a successful layered cake or prepared a satisfactory omelet.

Tom Hopkins observes, “The number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I can fail and keep on trying.” And Winston Churchill stated, “Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm.” They both agree that discouragement, rather than failure, is the enemy of success. Those who can remain hopeful and focused, though they fail, are those who will eventually succeed.

In all, Emily Dickinson is said to have written nearly eighteen hundred poems. Though fewer than a dozen were published in her lifetime and the first volume of her poetry was not published until four years after her death, Dickinson’s success is attributed to the fact that she did not allow discouragement to keep her from her poetry.

As she wrote so beautifully:

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”

Hope … never stops. Where would we be today had Emily Dickinson lost her enthusiasm for writing? Though largely unrecognized, she kept her desire alive and we now remember her as one of the great poets of all time.

It’s good to remember that success may be just beyond the next failure, and you’ll get there, not because you’re destined to, but because you’re determined to.

-- Steve Goodier

"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page. 

SHARE this message on Facebook

Ain't No Horse Can't Be Rode

One grizzled westerner says, “Ain't no horse can't be rode; ain't no cowboy can't be throwed.” Problem is … some people seem to be riding most of the time while others sit in the dirt discouraged.

Why is that? Why do some people seem to have an easier go of it than others? Why do some people seem to find their place while others never quite “get it together”? And why do many average and ordinary people accomplish extraordinary, or at least notable, things while others expect that they will never really amount to much?

There is not a single quick and simple answer to these questions. But I have discovered that there is one factor that is crucial, one thing that plays an indispensable role in whether we will spend more time riding the horse or sitting in the dirt. This factor is more basic than raw talent or hard work. It is more fundamental than one’s background or intelligence. It has to do with the reasons why some people are able to compensate for poor backgrounds and others do not, why some intelligent people lead healthy and happy lives while other smart people flounder.

What is the one, single factor that makes the greatest difference whether one will lead the life they want or be disappointed again and again? In my experience, that factor is CONFIDENCE.

In his article How ‘Average’ People Excel (Reader’s Digest, 1992), Alan Loy McGinnis tells about how Thomas J. Watson, Jr. learned to make good things happen in his life. Watson’s father was founder and longtime head of IBM. But young Thomas was a lackluster student who even needed a tutor to get through the IBM sales school. He recalls that he had no distinctions and no successes.

Then he took flying lessons. What a feeling he experienced soaring above the clouds! He soon learned that he was good at flying – very good. He plowed everything into this “mad pursuit,” as he fondly called it, and gained self- confidence. From that point on, his life took a significant turn.

Watson became an officer in the US Air Force during WWII. Though not brilliant, he discovered that he had an orderly mind and an unusual ability to focus on what was important and to put it across to others. These were traits he would build on.

Watson went back to IBM. With his new-found confidence he eventually became chief executive of the corporation and took it into the computer age. In 15 years he increased IBM’s revenues almost tenfold.

Confidence is a life ingredient that is essential to success and wholeness. It is perhaps the single most important trait that enables seemingly average people to do and become all that they can. And the good news is – it can be learned. No one has to suffer a lifetime of low confidence.

Have you heard about the little boy sitting on the bench at his team’s baseball game? When asked by a concerned parent if he was discouraged that his team was behind 14 to nothing, he responded, “Discouraged? Why should I be discouraged? We haven’t been up to bat yet!”

With confidence like that, it was going to be an exciting game.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Elizabeth Haslam

Lessons from the Court

flickr/Charis Tsevis

Life lessons can come from unexpected places. 

I played racquetball for many years, and some of the greatest lessons I learned while playing were not about the game, but about life. Here are some of the more important life lessons that that I learned on the court:

1. People play better when they are encouraged. It's true in all of life. People do better when others cheer them on, rather than criticizing, condemning and judging. My influence as a parent, a leader, a supervisor or a friend is most effective when I encourage those around me.

2. When two or more people occupy a small space, they need to get along. It’s against the rules of the game to push people around. This principle applies to any small space: homes, schools, places of work, communities and even our planet.

3. The only way to get better is to practice, on the court and off. In every area of life, the only way to improve is to practice. Confidence takes practice. Leadership takes practice. Nurturing a mind or a spirit takes practice. Improving relationships with others takes practice. Simply learning how to be happy takes practice. And remember, there are always people willing to help.

4. Much of success is about paying attention. On the court, those who lose their focus, lose games. In life, people who are too distracted by yesterday’s regrets or tomorrow’s problems will never experience the fullness and joy of today.

5. There are always people who will do better than you. Always. But your job is not to be the best. If you simply strive to be YOUR best, you will have succeeded.

6. When playing doubles, teams that cooperate wins games. No team, no household, no small group, no faith community, no business, no enterprise will succeed that is plagued with internal squabbling.

7. Failures are lessons. When I lose a game badly, it is not a personal failure. Rather, I thank my opponent for the free lesson and figure out where I need to work. Failures are not endings; they are valuable opportunities to learn.

8. It isn't over until the last point is scored. Many victories are snatched after one comes back from almost insurmountable odds. So it is with life.

9. Work can be fun, but fun should never become merely work. A racquetball game is still a game and should be enjoyed. In life, there is always joy to be found and shared.

10. On the court, the only way to score is to serve. Likewise, service is key to life. People who make a difference find ways to serve others. And those people who are happiest and most satisfied with their lives are those who have learned the value of giving their time, energy and resources away. Great lives are built on service. 

Life lessons can come from anywhere. And I have the rest of my life to keep learning them.

-- Steve Goodier



Share this on FaceBook orTwitter or your favorite blog / Read more / Post a comment!

Toll Road to Success

An airline passenger struck up a conversation with a stranger who was sniffling, apparently due to a recent head cold.

"Look at me!" the healthy one boasted. "Never a day's sickness in my life, and all due to simple food. Why, from the age of twenty to that of forty I lived an absolutely simple, regular life -- no pampering, no late hours, no extravagances. Every day, in fact, I was in bed regularly at nine o'clock and up again at five in the morning. I ate a plain meal at noon and, after that, exercised for an hour, then..."

"Excuse me," interrupted the sniffling stranger in the next seat, "but what were you in for?"

That regimented life does sound too much like a prison sentence. Some people can go overboard with a rigid routine. I once went on a near-starvation diet just to drop a few pounds. In two weeks I lost five pounds and the will to live.

Self discipline is important to happiness, but a rigid routine may not be the answer.

Mark Twain gave some advice about discipline. "Do one thing every day you don't want to do," he suggested. I think I can do that. One thing I’ve been putting off. One thing I always said I “ought” to do, but never made the effort.

I believe that doing something important that we don’t want to do every day is a price we pay for success. Call it discipline. Call it duty. Call it paying your dues, for that may be what it really is.

And the other part is this: leave some time to do something you WANT to do, too. Paying your dues gets you where you want to go. Then having fun along the way makes the journey worthwhile.

For me, the “road to success” has been more like a toll road. If I pay that small, daily fee, I can go most anywhere I want. And when I leave enough time for fun, I enjoy the ride.

-- Steve Goodier

image:flickr.com/Jimmy Emerson, DVM

Leaning Your Ladder Against the Right Building

Rabbi Harold Kushner tells a wonderful story about a bright young man who was a sophomore Stanford pre-med student. To reward him for having done so well in school, his parents gave him a trip to the Asia for the summer.

While there he met a guru who said to him, "Don't you see how you are poisoning your soul with this success-oriented way of life? Your idea of happiness is to stay up all night studying for an exam so you can get a better grade than your best friend. Your idea of a good marriage is not to find the woman who will make you whole, but to win the girl that everyone else wants.

"That's not how people are supposed to live," the sage admonished. "Give it up; come join us in an atmosphere where we all share and love each other."

The young man had completed four years at a competitive high school to get into Stanford, plus two years of pre-med courses at the university. He was ripe for this sort of approach. He called his parents from Tokyo and told them he would not be coming home. He was dropping out of school to live in an ashram (a spiritual retreat).

Six months later, his parents got this letter from him:

Dear Mom and Dad,
I know you weren't happy with the decision I made last summer, but I want to tell you how happy it has made me. For the first time in my life, I am at peace. Here there is no competing, no hustling, no trying to get ahead of anyone else. Here we are all equal and we all share. This way of life is so much in harmony with the inner essence of my soul that in only six months I've become the number two disciple in the entire ashram, and I think I can be number one by June!

You can take the boy out of the rat race, but can you take the rat race out of the boy?

I am concerned about some people’s narrow and dangerous ideas about success. Achieving more, getting more, becoming number one. Not that there is anything wrong with healthy achievement. It’s just that there is a difference between earning well and living well.

A successful life is not always a high-achieving life. Sometimes it is about accomplishing a worthwhile goal, even a private, personal victory. Sometimes it is about improving one’s character. Sometimes success is best defined by living into one’s own personal mission, or finding a meaningful purpose to organize one’s life around. And sometimes it is about learning how to live in peace, happiness, generosity and love.

Someone put it like this: "I spent my life frantically climbing the ladder of success. When I got to the top I realized it was leaning against the wrong building." Even if she got to the top first, it made no difference. There is no merit in being first to arrive at the wrong place in life.

You CAN BE successful in ways that matter. And your life can be truly meaningful. If you’re leaning your ladder against the right building, it doesn’t even matter if you make it to the top. Any life spent going after things that count, will count as a life well spent.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/edward musiak

A Conspiracy of Kindness

Kevin is a boy who might be described as "slow." He didn't learn his ABCs as fast as other kids. He couldn’t compete in schoolyard races. But Kevin had a way with people. His bright smile and big heart won him plenty of friends.

My friend Randy, the pastor at Kevin’s church, decided they needed a basketball team for boys. Kevin signed on and soon basketball became a center of his life. He practiced hard. While the other boys worked at dribbling the basketball and shooting lay-ups, skills Kevin would never master, he simply shot baskets. Or more correctly, he threw the ball AT the basket. He had a special spot near the free throw line. He threw and threw, and it occasionally went in. On the rare times that he succeeded, Kevin raised his arms and shouted, "Look at me, Coach! Look at me!" Randy looked at him. And smiled.

The day before their first game, Coach Randy gave each player a bright red jersey. Kevin was number 12. He scrambled himself into the sleeves and wore that jersey almost every day. Everywhere. One Sunday morning the church worship service was interrupted by Kevin's excited voice. "Look, Coach!" He lifted his gray wool sweater to reveal the red jersey underneath with number 12 on the front. Nobody there minded the interruption; the congregation knew Kevin and loved him.

I'd like to be able to tell you that the team did well. But the truth is…they never won a game that season -- except for the night it snowed and the opposing team never showed up.

At the end of the season, the boys played in the church league's tournament. As the last-place team, they drew the unfortunate spot of playing against the best team -- boys who had never lost a game all year.

Game day arrived. Both teams played their best, but the game went as expected. Near the end of the last quarter, Kevin's team stood nearly 30 points behind. It was then that one of the boys called timeout. "Coach Randy," he said, "this is our last game and Kevin has never made a basket. I think we should let him make a basket."

The team agreed. Kevin was instructed to stand at his special place near the free throw line and wait. He was told that when he was given the ball, he should shoot.

Kevin was ecstatic. He ran to the floor and waited. When the ball was passed to him he shot -- and missed. Number 17 from the other team snatched the rebound, dribbled down the court for an easy basket. But a moment later Kevin got the ball again. He shot -- and missed again. Number 17 repeated his performance scoring two more points. Kevin shot a third and fourth time with the same result.

But slowly the other team seemed to figure out what was going on and the next time they snatched the rebound, a boy threw it to Kevin! He shot...and missed. Now every rebound came to him and he threw and threw toward the basket. Time was running down and Kevin still had not scored.

BOTH teams circled the boy by this time and all of the players were shouting, "Kevin! Kevin!" The crowd took up the chant. Soon everyone in the gym was shouting Kevin’s name.

Coach Randy was sure that time must have run out; the game HAD to be over. He glanced at the official clock. It was stopped at 4.3 seconds. Even the timekeepers joined in the mania and stood by their table shouting with the crowd, "Kevin! Kevin!"

Kevin shot and shot. Everyone was screaming. He attempted again and again and again and…miraculously, one of his shots took a crazy bounce on the rim. Everyone held their breath.

The ball dropped in.

Chaos reigned. Nobody remained seated. Everyone stood and cheered as if one boy had single-handedly won a world championship. Kevin's arms sprang up in the air and he shouted, "I won! I won!" He had scored. His team escorted him off the court, the clock ticked down and the game was over.

That day an undefeated team retained their perfect record. But everybody won. Everybody. Because everybody had participated in a crazy conspiracy of kindness that was so compelling, so powerful, the earth itself might have stopped for a moment to rejoice with one young boy.

How beautiful it is when we all conspire together in kindness. Everybody wins.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: freeimages.com/Billy Squires

Succeeding at Life

It’s said there are three ways to get to the top of a tree: climb it, sit on an acorn or make friends with a big bird. But without too much imagination I can think of a couple of other ways – like one that involves a parachute and a poor landing.

However, the point is still well taken: getting to the top of that organization or reaching a new height requires effort. And it is taken for granted that reaching the top is exactly what everyone wants to do. After all, isn’t that what “success” is all about? More power? More money? Reaching the top?

But what about success at living – trying to get it right this go around?

Success at this thing we call living has always been important to me. And climbing to the top of a tree has never been a good metaphor for it. I like to think more about the word “priorities.” Getting some basic priorities in order is key. And I know that if one’s life can be organized around solid priorities, then a full and worthwhile life will be the result.

It is always risky to use sports illustrations; they just don’t speak to everyone. But let me forge ahead with an oft-quoted statement by American football coaching legend Vince Lombardi. He is remembered for saying, “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.” And Lombardi’s dream was certainly to coach winning teams, but it’s a mistake to think that climbing to the top of football’s ladder of success was his greatest goal. He believed it was more important to succeed at life than at his career or anything else.

Actually, winning football games was not “the only thing” to Lombardi. He once actually listed his life priorities in this order: God, his family and his career.

He knew what was important. And he knew that keeping his priorities straight could bring him joy, peace and, ultimately, success at life. Which is probably the only thing that truly matters.

-- Steve Goodier

image: flickr.com/Jim Bowen

Eyes on the Shore

A story is told about a bloodhound chasing a stag. A fox crossed the path, so the hound chased the fox. After a while a rabbit crossed the path, so the hound chased it. Later, a mouse crossed the path and the hound chased the mouse into a hole. The hound began his hunt on the trail of a magnificent stag and ended up watching a mouse hole!

Not that there is anything wrong with spontaneity. Some of the most wonderful things have come into my life by beautiful accident. But there is also something to be said for knowing where we want to go.

Florence Chadwick learned the importance of keeping a goal in mind on July 4, 1952. She waded into the Pacific Ocean off Catalina Island and began swimming toward the California coast 26 miles away. The day was cold and her attendants drove off sharks throughout the journey.

Florence had already swum the English Channel twice and, if she could finish today, she would be the first woman to have swum both. But after fifteen hours in the water, for the first and only time in her long-distance swimming career, she gave up and climbed into the escort boat. Others had urged her on, but in the fog they could not tell her how near she was to the coast. She later learned that she was less than half a mile from shore.

When asked by a reporter why she gave up, Florence replied: “It was the fog. If I could have seen land, I could have finished. But when you can’t see your goal, you lose all sense of progress and you begin to give up.”

On a warm, sunny day two months later Florence Chadwick swam the Catalina Channel, handily beating the men’s record. Only when she kept her eyes on the shore did she eventually arrive there.

Keeping that goal constantly in sight will get you where you want to go.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: freeimages.com/John Boyer

Building on Values

“I don’t subscribe to the thesis, ‘Let the buyer beware,’” said the late writer Isaac Asimov. “I prefer the disregarded one that goes, ‘Let the seller be honest.’”

Look at the financial problems of today's world. How many of these problems were the result of inferior products (dubious mortgages, in this case) sold to unaware buyers?

I am convinced that long-range successful businesses, and truly successful lives, are built on values. Two of those values are honesty and integrity.

Over a century ago, clothier John Wanamaker, whose retail business grew into one of the world's first department stores, would have agreed. Wanamaker is sometimes called the father of modern advertising. He instilled the attitude of utmost honesty in his employees.

The story is told of one of his advertising people who was instructed to make a sign promoting neckties that were reduced in price from one dollar apiece to 25 cents. After personally examining the ties, the marketer asked, “Are they any good?”

“No, they’re not,” he was told.

Wanamaker would have been completely honest, so the ad copy had to reflect the attitude of the store. The necktie advertisement was finally written this way: “They are not as good as they look, but they are good enough at 25 cents.” The department sold out of ties almost immediately and was forced to purchase several more weeks’ supply of cheap ties to fill the persistent demand (Selling Solutions, Juanita Ruiz, Ed., Oct. 1995).

Wanamaker believed that only a business based on values has real value. And businesses of value are always successful.

Can’t it also be said that a life built on values has real value? And when you and I build our lives on honesty and integrity, we will likewise know success.

-- Steve Goodier

Unstoppable

When a group of two hundred executives were asked what makes a person successful, eighty percent listed enthusiasm as the most im­portant quality. More important than skill. More important than training. Even more important than experience.

Before water will produce enough steam to power an engine, it must boil. The steam engine won't move a train an inch until the steam gauge registers 212 degrees. Likewise, the person with­out enthusiasm is trying to move the machinery of life with lukewarm water. Only one thing will happen: that person will stall.

A. B. Zu Tavern asserts that en­thusiasm is electricity in the battery. It's the vigor in the air. It's the warmth in the fire. It's the breath in all things alive. Successful people are enthusi­as­tic about what they do. "Good work is never done in cold blood," he says, "heat is needed to forge any­thing. Every great achievement is the story of a flaming heart."

You may have all of the skill, training and experience you've ever need. Add enthusiasm to those assets and you will be truly unstoppable!

-- Steve Goodier

Image: freeimages.com/Jim Daly