Be Careful? Or Be Cheerful?

A doctor gave a 92-year-old man a physical exam. A few days later he happened to notice the man walking down the street with his arm around a gorgeous young woman and grinning from ear to ear. 

The next time he encountered the man, the doctor said, “You are really doing great, aren’t you?”

“Just doing what you said, Doc,” the man agreed. “You said, ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.’”

“I didn’t say that,” replied the doctor. “I said you got a heart murmur. And be careful.”

I wonder if the advice to be cheerful may actually do him more good than to be careful. There is no shortage of self-help books and articles about taking care of yourself physically – from watching your diet to getting proper exercise. In other words, “Be careful!” But just as necessary is learning how to care for your mind and spirit. And cultivating a cheerful attitude can be an important part of the treatment.

You’re no doubt familiar with some of the research linking a healthy sense of humor, and especially laughter, to overall better health. Researchers now know that:

• Laughter reduces stress hormone levels so we feel less stressed.
• It enhances our immunity by improving our mood. Our immune system is stronger on those "up" days and we are less prone to upper respiratory infections.
• Laughter causes us to breathe more fully, bringing in more oxygen and releasing toxins.
• After a good laugh our blood pressure drops, heart rate and breathing slow down and muscle tension decreases.
• Even in stressful times, humor and good cheer help us to find joy. As you know, joy and stress just don’t mix.
• Also, they are learning that laughter increases productivity and creativity.
• It helps our muscles to relax. This natural relaxation effect not only reduces stress but it also has been shown to alleviate headaches, chronic anxiety and other stress-related problems.
• Laughter reduces pain in the chronically ill. Norman Cousins, in his book Head First: The Biology of Hope, noticed that ten minutes of belly laughter often gave him two hours of pain-free sleep.
• In fact, it is said that a good belly laugh is so good for the heart some people liken it to internal jogging.

Do you tend to focus on what is wrong with your life, or what is right? Are you known as an angry person, or are you known more for being up-beat and positive? Are you finding enough laughter and humor every day?

Sometimes I think the best sense we can make of life is a sense of humor.

--Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Jeffery Wong

All the Joy You Need

Thirteenth Century priest Thomas Aquinas once said, “No one can live without joy.” But many people do live joyless lives. And the reason is often simply because they don’t know how to be happy. They are so intent on the three P’s – power, prosperity and prestige – that they miss out on simple joy.

French photographer Henri Cartier-Bresson pioneered modern photography as an art form during the early decades of the 20th Century. He was a master of candid photography and something of a genius at spotting and photographing apparent contradictions: pictures that left mysteries unexplained.

One of his famous photographs was shot in a poor section of Seville, Spain in 1933. The picture depicts a run-down alley surrounded by decaying walls, strewn with rubble and riddled with bullet holes dotting gray walls. The setting alone evokes feelings of sadness and despair.

But then...the contradiction. Within the grim alley children are playing. They wear dirty and tattered clothes, as one might expect in such a setting, but like playing children everywhere, they laugh with carefree joy. In the foreground, a tiny boy on crutches hobbles away from two other boys, his face lit up with a broad grin. One boy is laughing so hard he has to hold his side. Others lean on the cracked walls, beaming with delight.

It is easy to spot the contrast – and the point. Joy amid the rubble of life. Laughter among life’s ruins.

We cannot avoid pain, however hard we try. But we can avoid joy. We cannot escape hardship and trouble, but we can miss out on much of life's peace and laughter.

If you feel as if you could use more joy, here are a few tips:

• Do something today just for the fun of it.
• Decide to fill your thoughts with less anxiety and more peace.
• Laugh a little more. A little more heartily and a little more often.
• Practice a hopeful attitude.
• Love as much as you can. Love people. Love experiences. Love ideas. Love beauty. In short -- love life.

You may occasionally find yourself amid life’s rubble. But strangely - even there you can discover joy. 

It’s one of the beautiful contradictions of life.

--  Steve Goodier

Image: copyright by Henri Cartier-Bresson | Fair Use

Laughing During Tough Times

Image by Mike Bitzenhofer

Laughter and tears are part of living. But do you find enough time for laughter? I am not asking if you experience lots of good times. Of course we should laugh during the happy times. But do you also laugh during the difficult times?

Erma Bombeck is known for her humorous books, but she wrote one that covered a more serious topic: cancer in children. The book is titled, I Want to Grow Hair, I Want to Grow Up, I Want to Go to Boise (Harper and Row, 1989). Bombeck talks with numerous children with cancer and learns important life lessons from them. She learns, for instance, that cancer survivors know how to laugh.

She cites the experience of 15-year-old Jessica from Burlington, Vermont (USA). Jessica's leg was amputated at the knee because of cancer. She was learning to wear a prosthesis. Jessica tells about playing soccer. She kicked the ball hard and it flew off in one direction while her artificial leg flew another way. Then "the tall, gorgeous person that I am," she said, "convulsed on the floor in laughter."

Jessica may not have laughed about her cancer, but she laughed about dealing with the consequences of it. And her laughter helped her cope.

Then there is the story of 17-year-old Betsy. She made her way to the radiation room for her regular radiation therapy. As usual, she dropped her hospital gown and, wearing only her birthday suit, climbed onto the table and waited. After a couple of moments she began to realize something disturbing: the extra people in the room were not the medical students she had thought, but rather painters giving an estimate on painting! Betsy laughs heartily about the incident. And like Jessica, her ability to laugh helped her to cope with one of the most difficult things a young person can endure -- cancer.

Biblical wisdom teaches that "there is a time to weep and a time to laugh." Do you find plenty of occasions for laughter? You can...if you also find reasons to laugh during the especially difficult times.

Survivors know how to laugh. If you can laugh even when the going is rough, you'll make it. And you'll smile at the end.

-- Steve Goodier

SHARE this message with your Facebook friends.
"LIKE US" on Facebook where you can find a powerful daily quote.

A Hundred Reasons to Laugh

Image by Neil Moralee

I read that a child laughs 400 times a day on the average, while an adult laughs only 15 times. Which puzzles me – what do you think the children are laughing at?

During one particularly dark period of my life I didn't laugh even 15 times a day. Not nearly. For a variety of reasons, ranging from anxiety in my personal life to overwork and exhaustion, I was depressed. I may not yet have recognized it as depression (later I did), but now I can see that the signs were there.

My self-loathing surfaced once when I found myself driving alone on a cold Spring afternoon to spend a couple of days with colleagues on a work-related planning session. “I don't have time for this!” I said out loud, and berated myself for not saying no. I was leaving my spouse to contend with children by herself while my daily work piled up in my absence. I felt submerged by an ocean of problems, professional and personal, with no chance of finding any way out. Everything looked bleak.

I met my colleagues for supper the first evening. To my surprise, we sat around the dinner table telling funny stories. We related real-life incidents that had happened to each of us. I had to admit, even in my despondency, that it was good to laugh. And those turned out to be some of the funniest stories I had ever heard! My anxiety melted as I relaxed and I found myself laughing hard – harder than I'd laughed for years.

The next day we worked, but we also played. We invented games using whatever recreational equipment we could lay our hands on. The sheer fun of playing, something else I hadn't done for far too long, awakened something within me I thought I might never feel again.

The following day I returned home and I felt better than I had in months. Though it eventually took a lifestyle change to lift the depression for good, laughter became a key ingredient of that change. I determined then and there that a therapy of laughter would become a permanent part of my life. I've held to it, and have found that regular and hearty laughter is essential if I want to maintain inner peace and good health.

I had discovered a great truth about laughter – it is good for the body, the mind and the spirit. It's a natural stress reliever. Have you ever laughed so hard that you doubled over, fell off your chair, spit out your food or wet your pants? (Yes, I'm not proud to say, I have.) You just cannot maintain muscle tension when you are laughing.

Author Norman Cousins used to say that laughter is so beneficial for your body that it is like “inner jogging.” Numerous studies have shown that laughter is good for your heart, it boosts your immune system and promotes overall good health.

The good news is that you are not limited to 15 laughs a day. You're allowed hundreds of laughs. What might happen if you doubled the usual adult rate and tried to laugh 30 times today? Can you do it? You'll probably notice an immediate difference in how you feel.

Then try to laugh 50 times a day. By this time you will begin to notice an improvement in your relationships.

But don't stop there. What if you could find 100 reasons to laugh every day? You can do it by surrounding yourself with people you feel good around, looking for humor in daily life, taking a minute to remember what's funny and even keeping a journal of whatever makes you happy.

Find 100 reasons to laugh. You are bound to feel better, you will cope with problems more effectively and people will enjoy being around you.

Besides unhappiness, what do you have to lose?

-- Steve Goodier

SHARE this message with your Facebook friends.
"LIKE US" on Facebook where you can find a powerful daily quote.

Walking Together in the Light

Image by Gabriella Fabbri

A funny story tells about a rabbi and a priest that met at the town picnic and began their usual “kibitzing.”

“This baked ham is just delicious,” the priest teased the rabbi. “You really should try some. I know it’s against your religion, but I can’t understand why such a wonderful thing should be forbidden. You just don’t know what you’re missing. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried Mrs. Kennedy’s baked ham. Tell me, when are you going to break down and try a little ham?”

The rabbi looked at the priest, smiled and said, “At your wedding.”

It's clear that much of the conflict between people of differing religious beliefs, particularly deeply-held religious beliefs, stems from the assertion that “we” are right and “they” are wrong. Our beliefs, our history, our practices are true, theirs are false. But can one group have a monopoly on truth?

Truth is light, wherever it is found. It is the sun in the noonday sky, shining on all universally. It cannot be bottled and sold or dispensed in secret tomes and ceremonies. It cannot be stolen, hidden or possessed by one group over another. Truth, like the sun, is viewed in different ways and known by different names. It is seen differently from different angles, but it shines in all directions.

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark,” said Plato. “The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” Afraid of truth. And afraid of one another.

I await the day that all people, all religions, walk in the light. And as they walk, they listen and understand. And in their understanding, they laugh. 

When the day comes that they laugh, they'll know how to walk together in light.

-- Steve Goodier

"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page.

SHARE this message on Facebook.

Find Some Humor

Image by Andreas Herrmann

. . . especially when life takes an unexpected turn.

I once read a story, purported to be true, of a motorist who was caught in an automated speed trap. His speed was measured by a radar machine and his car was automatically photographed. In a few days he received a ticket for $40 in the mail along with a picture of his automobile. As payment, he sent the police department a snapshot of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police. It contained another picture -- of handcuffs. He promptly paid the fine.

Who hasn't received a traffic violation? There are many ways to respond to those inevitable irritations of life, and one of the best is to find some humor. (Though he's probably fortunate the police had a sense of humor, too.)

This is one of Bill Cosby’s strategies for successful living. The comedian has known hard times, yet he once summarized his attitude this way: "You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything... you can survive it."  Like aging. He says that all things shift when we age. Even the mind. It slips from the head to the behind. There’s proof of this, he tells us. When you walk into a room to get something or to do something, you forget what you went after. You see, your mind has left. “But then you sit down and – bingo! – you remember what it was you wanted. Therefore, your mind must have slipped down to your behind.”

Growing older is a wonderful thing, especially if you're young. But what if most of your years are behind you? There are some things, like growing older, that can't be changed. And one of the best ways to respond to things that can't be changed is to find some humor.

Then there's Katie. Katie was a young woman with a great, big problem. She was a teenager dying of leukemia. Katie's mother wrote to me and told me how her daughter approached her disease. She told about a time, shortly after a bone marrow transplant, when Katie's head was “slickly bald,” as she put it. One day Katie heard the doctor coming on rounds and ducked into the bathroom. Her mother heard her giggling and asked, "Katie, what is so funny?"

She put her finger to her lips, pulled a Nike ski cap onto her head and crawled into bed. 

When the doctor came in, she said, "Well, Miss Katie! How are you feeling today?"

Katie frowned and said, "I am OK, I guess... but I just have this splitting headache." She pulled off her ski cap and there on her bald head was a huge red crack, which she had drawn with a marker. As the doctor recovered from her initial shock, the room exploded in laughter.

Katie did not survive the cancer, but she conquered depression and despair and found an authentic way to live as fully as possible her last months of life.

There are many ways to respond when life takes a serious turn, but even then, perhaps especially then, one of the best is to find some humor. “It DOES help!” Katie's mother asserted at the end of her letter.

Mark Twain says that the human race “has unquestionably one really effective weapon – laughter.” Laughing at the twists and turns of life may not be your first response, but it can be one of the best.

-- Steve Goodier

SHARE this message on Facebook.
"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page.
 

Squawk Back

Image courtesy of Vera Berard

"Squawks" are maintenance complaints US Air Force pilots leave for their ground crews to address between flights. Somebody sent me these actual squawks and the replies to each from maintenance. Enjoy.

Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Maintenance: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Maintenance: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.
Maintenance: Something tightened in cockpit.

Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Maintenance: Evidence removed.

Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.
Maintenance: Live bugs on order.

Pilot: Number three engine missing.
Maintenance: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.
Maintenance: Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious.

Pilot: Target Radar hums.
Maintenance: Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.

Like they say, if you're too busy to laugh, you're too busy. Do you get the feeling that these people know how to pepper their work with fun?

And speaking of flying, flight attendants also know something about being playful.

Those safety announcements they make at the beginning of every flight must get boring to repeat. Some attendants have fun with them. “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover,” announced one, “but there are only four ways out of this airplane."

I'm not sure if it was the same one who said, “To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

Another attendant put this spin on the announcement: “In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.”

“Your seat cushions can be used for flotation,” another announced. “And in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”

On one flight, which was served by a older-than-average flight crew, the announcement was made: "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

Before takeoff, passengers once heard this: “Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight.”

Heard on a flight just after a particularly hard landing: “That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault. It wasn't the pilot's fault. It wasn't the flight attendant's fault. It was the asphalt.”

I love people like that. Even if I can't always do what I enjoy, I only hope I can at least enjoy myself while I do it.

-- Steve Goodier

"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page.

SHARE this message on Facebook.

Laughter Is Cheap Medicine

I know a couple who works in the pharmaceutical industry. He is a sales representative and she is a pharmacist. When asked what they do for a living, he is quick to reply, "She makes drugs and I sell ‘em."

I believe it was Lord Byron who said, "Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine." And researchers are finding that to be true – quite literally.

A woman diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis wrote to me and talked about how painful the disease had become. Debra said that no drugs would touch the devastating pain. "At times I prayed to die because I did not think I could go on this way," she said. But in two and a half years she weaned herself from most of her medication, which had reached a high of 21 pills a day. This is how she did it.

"I began seeing a doctor who gave me the most important prescription that I ever could have received," she said. "He excused himself from the room. I watched him walking back and forth in the hall; he seemed to be in deep thought."

The doctor came back in with this prescription: he told Debra to get some funny movies and to begin laughing (the doc was a Norman Cousins fan, no doubt). If she didn't feel like laughing, then she should smile. If she didn't feel like smiling, she should smile anyway. He said that it would increase endorphins in her brain and help with her pain. In other words, fake it until you make it, like they say.

She did just as he suggested. She laughed when she could. She smiled when she couldn’t laugh. She smiled whether she felt like it or not. Her children teased her about her fake smile, but she told them that it was going to get rid of her pain.

And here’s the amazing thing: it did. Of course, not all of it, but a great deal of her pain eventually dissipated and in time, what was left became manageable – without all of the drugs.

Today, Debra laughs easily and is never seen without her smile. She says that she would not even feel normal without it.

It’s true that laughter really is cheap medicine. It’s a prescription anyone can afford. And best of all, you can fill it right now.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: freeimages/Jotul Oven

Humor Can Make a Serious Difference

Image courtesy of ramzi hashisho

Thomas Watson, former CEO and chairman of IBM, was famous for putting the word “THINK” on prominent walls of every IBM building. The tradition has carried on into modern times. Not long ago in a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor placed a “THINK” sign directly above the sink.
 
The next day, when he entered the restroom, he glanced at the sign.  Just below it and immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign that which read: “THOAP!”
 
How often do you laugh at work? Actually, humor can make a serious difference. In the workplace, at home, in all areas of life – looking for a reason to laugh is necessary. A sense of humor helps us to get through the dull times, cope with the difficult times, enjoy the good times and manage the scary times.
 
Case in point: six-year-old Hannah. Hannah encountered one of the most frightening times of her life when she discovered she had cancer. Six years old and she might not live. And if she were to give life a shot, Hannah would have to endure painful, almost endless medical treatments. At one point she lost all her hair due to chemicals pumped into her tiny body. On days when she felt strong enough to get out, she often covered her head.
 
One day while shopping with her mother, Hannah donned a ball cap with a fake pony tail sewn into the back. Unless one looked closely, she looked as if she had a full head of hair. Before long Hannah noticed a small boy staring at her as if he were trying to figure out what was slightly off about the girl. She tried to ignore him, but he followed her around the store. Finally, she ripped off her cap revealing her shiny, hairless head. In a stern voice she warned, “This is what happens when you don't eat your vegetables!”
 
I don't know what became of the boy, but I suspect he is now a committed vegetarian. As for Hannah, her sense of humor helped get her through one of life's scariest times.
 
Like entertainer Bob Hope once said, "I've seen what a good laugh can do. It can transform tears into hope." And sometimes, a little more hope is all we need.
 
-- Steve Goodier

SHARE this message on Facebook

 "LIKE US"on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page. 

Finding the Funny Side

How are you at finding the funny side of a situation?

In America, each of the states likes to promote themselves with a slogan. I currently live in Utah, where the slogan is “Life Elevated.” It’s a nod to outdoor recreation in the high country, including the ski industry. I previously lived in Colorado, a land with red dirt, majestic mountains and golden plains. The slogan there is “Colorful Colorado.” Years ago I lived in the “Peach State” of Georgia, and I grew up in New Mexico, whose slogan is "Land of Enchantment."

New Mexico is a land of high, arid desert and it has a beauty of its own. I have never seen a sunset as spectacular as one in the New Mexico desert. The western sky can glow a brilliant orange behind red and purple clouds.  

But this is also a country of wind, lots of it. A gritty wind can howl for hours, and “dust devils” (funnel-shaped whirlwinds) will appear without notice.

We never seemed to get away from dust in New Mexico, so I appreciate the story of a newcomer to the Land of Enchantment who learned about dusty breezes. She was visiting an antique shop and the proprietor wiped down every item before showing it. The newcomer said, "Everything gets dusty here pretty quickly, doesn't it?"

"That's not dust, honey," the shop owner replied. "That's ENCHANTMENT."

Here was a person who took a negative and turned it into something humorous. That made the problem more palatable - easier to swallow, or at least live with. And face it: there are some things, like the weather, that we can’t change. All we can change is our attitude toward them. I believe one of the best techniques to do this is to find some humor in the situation. Finding the funny side of a difficulty, an irritation or a troublesome problem can be one of the most creative and effective things we can do.  

A Hong Kong shopping center manager was informed that an escalator broke. He posted a sign to warn customers. He opted not to use the traditional "Out of Order" or "Do Not Use" warnings. Instead, his sign read, "This Escalator Is Temporarily a Stairway." He turned a minus into humor and made it a plus. Sometimes the only sense you can make of a situation is a sense of humor.

How are you at finding the funny side?

-- Steve Goodier

Share this on FaceBook and Twitter / Read more / Post a comment

Admitting Our Schnozzles

A humorous story has it that many years ago a soldier was sentenced to be flogged. As if something hilarious were about to happen, he chuckled as they led him away and laughed uproariously throughout the whipping.

When the painful punishment finally ended, the officer in charge demanded, “What’s so funny about a flogging? I don’t think it’s a joke.”

“Why, the joke’s on you,” smiled the soldier. “I’m the wrong man!”

I know I wouldn't laugh about a flogging, but I'd like to take myself a little less seriously. Like the Amish man who was driving his horse-drawn carriage down a modern American street. The Amish, of course, live and dress simply and shun most modern technology. So he must have known he cut an odd figure on the busy thoroughfare. But he had a sense of humor. Affixed to the back of his carriage was a hand lettered sign that read, “Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step on exhaust.”

This man may have taken his beliefs seriously. And he may have taken his work seriously. But he didn’t take himself too seriously. I believe that’s key.

I think that comedian Jimmy Durante got it right. Durante was known for his prominent nose and often referred to it in his comedy sketches. In a moment of seriousness, he once said, “It dawned on me that as long as I could laugh, I was safe from the world; and I have learned since that laughter keeps me safe from myself, too. All of us have schnozzles that are ridiculous in one way or another; if not in our faces, then in our characters, minds or habits. When we admit our schnozzles, instead of defending them, we begin to laugh and the world laughs with us.”

I don’t always have the courage to admit my schnozzles; to laugh at my short-comings. I am something of an expert at hiding them. But I do know one thing: if I want to laugh at my foibles, there is plenty of good material at hand. And I also know that when I get better at it, I’ll find myself living a happier and healthier life.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Jasperdo

A Way to Find Enjoyment

At one time, Bangkok television aired the American situation comedy LaVerne and Shirley. For whatever reason, officials there believed that a disclaimer was necessary for the Thailand audience, so this subtitle was added to each show: “The two women depicted in the following episode are from an insane asylum.”

Personally, I’m thankful there is a little silliness in the world. And I don’t mind not acting like everybody else. Like the “irrepressible” educator and speaker Leo Buscaglia once said: “I don’t mind if people think I’m crazy. In fact, I think it’s great! It gives me tremendous latitude for behavior.”

Buscaglia knew how to laugh. And I think knowing how to laugh and have fun is an important part of living.

Someone asked me what I do for fun. I felt I should answer with something others enjoy, like golf or skiing. But my idea of fun is not usually associated with entertainment and recreation. It is more about squeezing as much enjoyment into every day as I can. Instead of looking for something fun to do, I try to make whatever I do a little more fun. And if I can’t always do things I enjoy, I can learn to enjoy more of the things I do.

I like the word “enjoyment” because it has “joy” inside of it. So does the word “rejoice.” And rejoicing is a way to find enjoyment of life.

Speaking of Leo Buscaglia, he used to tell a story about his mother and their "misery dinner." It was the night after his father came home and said it looked as if he would have to go into bankruptcy because his partner had absconded with their firm's funds. His mother’s response was to sell some of her jewelry to buy food enough for a grand feast. At first, other members of the family scolded her for it. But she told them that "the time for joy is now, when we need it most, not next week." They learned to appreciate the hopeful attitude that lifted them out of fear and into joy.

I want to learn to be happy even in those difficult and trying times. I won’t be happy FOR them (who likes problems?), just IN them. I need the soothing medicine of laughter when it hurts. I want to learn that the time for joy is now, when I need it most.

Maybe it sounds silly, but I want to learn to rejoice in all things. And If I’m doing that well, it really doesn’t matter what I like to do for fun.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: Freeimages.com/T. Rolf