Something Only You Can Do

Image courtesy of Dave Smith

Tallulah Bankhead quipped, "Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it." But the truth is...we DO have trouble being ourselves, don't we? Especially in a world that wants us to conform. "To be nobody but yourself in a world that is doing its best day and night into making you like everybody else," said poet e. e. cummings, "is to fight the hardest battle there is and never stop fighting."

One of the deepest cravings of young people, especially teens, is to be liked by their peers. Like all of us, they want to be accepted and they want to be valued. It's during those critical teen-age years that they begin to play a game that is sometimes called "Follow the Follower." The game is not the same as "Follow the Leader." Following the follower is about conforming ... talking, dressing, acting and even thinking like one another. The goal is to fit in.

In adulthood, we are supposed to discover who we really are and do our best to grow into that person. We find our value, not in acceptance by others, but because we believe in our worth. It doesn’t always happen. But it's a wonderful day when we can say in honesty, "I know who I am and I'm glad I am me."

The lovable children's author Dr. Seuss got it right when he wrote, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." It takes strength to swim against the tide. It takes courage to speak your convictions. And it takes trust to act on your own intuition. It’s hard and rewarding work to grow up and become who you really are. But in the end, whatever real success you find in life will be a result of your being true to yourself rather than an imitation of somebody else.

I'll never have to give an account for not being more like my favorite celebrity, that shining star in my chosen field or anybody else. And at the end of my life, the question I never want to be asked is, "How come you weren't more like YOU? You had such great potential. You were a wholly unique person -- unrepeatable and irreplaceable. Why you weren't more like YOU?"

It took me far too long to realize that, in a world that wants me to conform, my greatest job is to be myself. It's a challenging and rewarding job and nobody can do it as well as me.

-- Steve Goodier

 "LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page.
SHARE this message on Facebook. 

Free to Be Me

I like what Quentin Crisp said about social mobility: "Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level."

And speaking of social mobility…two women happened to be seated next to each other on a plane and struck up an earnest conversation about their respective hometowns.

“Where I’m from,” one woman sniveled, “we place all our emphasis on breeding.”

Her new companion, unimpressed and uninterested in this yardstick for measuring the value of a person, just smiled. “We think that’s a lot of fun, too – but we do find time for other pursuits.”

Some people try to impress. They want to elevate themselves by conspicuous breeding, social standing, education and life-style. They believe that to be “well-bred, well-fed, well-read and well-wed” just may help them find some happiness (and a satisfying bit of deference from others).

These symbols have little meaning for other individuals. They care little about how people see them. The only standards which concern them are those they set themselves. The person they really want to please and impress most is the one looking back from the mirror.

I believe that, more than anyone else, these people know what it is to be free. Why? Because they’re free from what others think about them. They are free from feeling like they always have to please other people. They are not programmed to behave a certain way because others expect it.

One man I know likes to say, “Be yourself.  Everybody else is already taken.” But I think that author and educator Leo Buscaglia may have said it best. “The easiest thing to be in the world is you,” he said. “The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that position.” And that’s advice worth following.

Who decides what you will do? Who decides who you will be? Who decides what is important to you? Who sets your standards? Ultimately, who do you REALLY want to impress? Somebody else … or yourself?

The point is this: you can’t please everybody, nor should you try. So why not be sure you at least try to please the right person? That’s REAL freedom.

-- Steve Goodier

Share this on FaceBook or Twitter or your favorite blog / Read more / Post a comment!