Hammocks and Springboards

I want to make the most of every day. And, like most people, I’ve discovered that one of the things I must do is to keep the past safely in the past lest it affect the present. We know this, don’t we? It means to resolve past guilt, past failures and mistakes so that we can be truly present now.

But that’s not all. What about past successes? What about satisfying achievements and those shining moments of glory? They may be nice to think about, but if I can’t get past them I may still get myself stuck in the past, only in this case, I’m stuck in reliving yesterday. 

I once attended a funeral of a man who unexpectedly died in his 40’s. Friends and family spoke about him. They applauded his athleticism in high school, where he starred on the school football team. They spoke of school records he set. They talked about him with true admiration and even a sense of awe. They spoke about how he could pull his team from the jaws of defeat and win games over and over. 

Yet I noticed that practically nothing was said about his adult life. Nobody spoke about his character or his values or anything they appreciated about him after high school. No one mentioned his work or his hobbies. I had the impression that he stopped really living once he could no longer compete in football. Then he quietly faded into the background. It was as if he felt he could never match the glory days of his youth and, after a couple of decades, he simply went away.

Ivern Ball has said, “The past should be a springboard, not a hammock.” The fact is, to repeatedly relive our finest achievements in our memories is seductive, but that can hold us back as much as reliving our failures.

I once heard a story about the actor Clark Gable. A friend paid Gable a visit one afternoon at the actor’s home. She brought along her small son, who amused himself by playing with toy cars on the floor. He pretended he was racing those cars around a great track, which in reality was an imaginary circle around a golden statuette. The small statue the boy played with was actually the Oscar Clark Gable won for his performance in the 1934 movie It Happened One Night.

When his mother told him the time had come to leave, the little boy asked the actor, “Can I have this?” pointing to the Oscar.

“Sure,” he smiled. “It’s yours.”

The horrified mother objected. “Put that back immediately!” The child did.

Gable argued, “Having the Oscar around doesn’t mean anything to me; earning it does.” I wonder if the actor knew that past success could be a comfortable hammock upon which he may be tempted to rest and felt no need to keep a memento of his past glory.

Biblical wisdom says, “Do not cling to events of the past or dwell on what happened long ago.” You may have learned to let go of past failures and mistakes in order to free the present. But can you loosen your grip on past successes and achievements also? Will your past be a comfortable place to rest or a springboard to something new?

“I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past,” said Thomas Jefferson. I agree. After all, the future, not the past, is where I intend to live the rest of my life.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Rameez Sadikot

Our Greatest Songs Are Still Unsung

Are you able to warmly welcome the future as you would a new friend?

The late US senator Hubert Humphrey, a man with an indomitable zest for living, once talked about the "good old days." He said, "They were never that good, believe me. The good new days are today, and better days are coming tomorrow. Our greatest songs are still unsung."

What a marvelous spirit. Our greatest songs are still unsung! Quite a different spirit is found in a business magazine ad that pictures a newborn baby with the caption: "Only 22,463 days until retirement." The ad is cute, but it picks up on a spirit of our day. It is a spirit of worry and anxiety. It is a spirit that tells us, "You don't know what the future holds. It is likely to be bleak; even disastrous. Plan carefully." You know what spirit I mean.

I have always believed in the future. And I will look forward to it with great anticipation. Why shouldn't I make friends with the future? After all, I intend to spend the rest of my life there.

I am intrigued by a story about a bishop back in the 1870s. The bishop had charge of a small denominational college. Annually, he visited the school and stayed in the home of the president.

The bishop was a narrow thinker with a dim view of the future. He told the school president during one of those visits that everything that could be invented had already been invented.

The administrator disagreed. "In 50 years," he contested, "people will learn to fly like birds."

That kind of talk greatly disturbed the bishop. "Flight is reserved for birds and angels," he said emphatically, "and you, sir, are guilty of blasphemy!"

The name of the bishop was Milton Wright. That name may not have a great deal of meaning to you, but something else will. You see, back at home, this clergyman had two enthusiastic sons - Orville and Wilbur - who believed that our greatest songs were still unsung. The rest of the story is one of an enthusiastic belief in tomorrow. You know how it ends.

Do you believe that your greatest songs are still unsung? Will you joyously welcome tomorrow, and all the tomorrows to come? After all, the good new days are today, and better days are coming tomorrow. 

-- Steve Goodier

Image: freeimage.com/gilderm

Are You Lighting Your Candles?

Brendan Francis correctly said, "No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves to today." Ann Tyler explained that truth in her novel Back When We Were Grownups.

Fifty three-year-old Rebecca is speaking to her grandchildren: "When I was a little girl..., my Aunt Ida gave me this beautiful, tall white candle with a kind of frill of white lace running up it in a spiral. I thought it was the most elegant thing I'd ever seen in my life. I saved it in my bureau drawer for some momentous event, although I can't imagine now what that would have been. I mean, I was only eight years old. Not a whole lot of momentous events happen when you're eight. And Aunt Ida would ask me, now and then, 'Have you ever burned that candle?'

"I'd say, 'No, not yet. I'm saving it,' I'd say.

"Then one day, oh, maybe three or four years later, I came across it in my drawer. It had turned all yellow and warped; it was practically a C shape, and the lace was coming off in crumbles. I'd never seen it burning, and now I never would. So ever since that time, I light my candles any chance I get. I light them by the dozens, all over every room, at every party from September through May. Multitudes of candles."

I got an email from a reader named Jennie. She pointed me to that passage and added that she had a similar experience with a gift candle she saved until it melted in the drawer. "I learned my lesson," Jennie said, "and have been lighting my candles, literally and figuratively, ever since!"

Are you lighting your candles? Are you enjoying each day to the fullest? Actually enjoying them? Or will you put off living for some future date? "One today is worth two tomorrows," noted Benjamin Franklin. I'll bet he knew the value of lighting candles -- and living fully -- before it's too late.

I've decided to light my candles TODAY. I've decided to find reasons to enjoy each day as if today were all I had. And if those "candles" burn all the way down, that is okay. For I will have replaced them with lifelong memories, which I somehow know, will be a good trade.

-- Steve Goodier

Image by Eli Duke

Fragile: Handle with Care

I once clipped a strange story from the newspaper. It was about a man named Jose Estrada who drove to a popular trail where he like to jog. While Estrada was running, another jogger on the same trail collapsed and died of a heart attack. The man's body was taken to a nearby hospital where authorities found a car key in his pocket, but no identification. 

Assuming they would be able to find the name of the deceased man in his automobile registration papers, they brought the key back to a parking lot near the jogging trail. They figured that if they tried the key in various locked doors of cars parked by the trail, they might eventually find his car and learn who he was. So they experimented until they were able to open the doors of one of the vehicles. 

Now, here's where the story gets strange. The key opened the door of Estrada's pickup truck. They examined Estrada's registration papers and notified his wife of her husband's untimely death. They asked her to come to the hospital and identify his body.

And here is where the story gets stranger still. Mrs. Estrada saw the body on the table with a tube snaking from his mouth, his eyes taped shut and wearing jogging clothing much like her husband wore. In her distraught condition she assumed the body belonged to Jose and signed the death certificate.
   
Meanwhile, Jose Estrada finished running, drove back home and promptly learned from a friend, who was more than stunned to encounter him in the flesh, that he was supposed to be dead. He immediately sped to the hospital and strode, as big as life, into the waiting room. His startled wife fell into his arms laughing and crying. The only thing she managed to spurt out was, “Jose, if you ever die on me again, I'll kill you myself.” After all, he was dead and then he was alive... he was lost and then he was found. All in a single day. 

Eventually, the poor deceased man was properly identified and his family contacted. For this man's family, as well as for Estrada's wife, I wonder what thoughts first surfaced when they received news of the untimely death. Did they try to recall their last moments with him? Did they try to remember if they told him they loved him that morning? Was there an argument? Were there regrets?

How fragile life can be. I suspect that, if life came in a package, it would arrive in a box labeled, “Fragile: Handle with Care.” It is delicate and can be damaged in a moment. And I also suspect that, if life came in a package, it would arrive as a gift. It is undeserved and priceless. Which of us earned it and who could ever afford it?

My challenge is to remember that life is fragile. And it is an awesome gift. But what I want to remember most of all is that the people in my life, these beautiful gifts, are also fragile. And they, especially, need to be handled with care.

– Steve Goodier

Image: freeimages.com/Jane M. Sawyer

The Magic Is Inside You

Image courtesy of Steve Knight

When Jeanne Calment turned 120 years old, she was asked what her view of the future was. "Very brief," she responded. I would imagine so at 120, but I expect I still have a future.

What is your view of the future?

A lonely frog called a psychic hotline. "You will meet a beautiful young woman who will want to learn all about you," the psychic advisor told him.

"Where will I meet her?" he asked. "Down by the old mill stream?"

"No," she said. "In biology class."

I think I would want to call another psychic for a second opinion.

Scott Adams, of “Dilbert” comic strip fame, says this about predictions: "There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as 'nutty methods.' Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as ‘a complete waste of time.’"

I received a postcard from a psychic adviser once. It said that if I call a certain number (one for which I would be charged a hefty fee), she would lead me through a hazy future to clarity and happiness. I wondered if she really could tell me important details about my life and future – I mean, clarity and happiness don’t sound half bad. Then I turned the card over. I noticed that it was addressed to the wrong house. That’s when I thought, if she doesn't even know where I am, how can she know where I am going?

But if the future is not ours to see, I’m okay with that because I go along with Dolly Parton in her song “These Old Bones.” Dolly sings, “You just remember that the magic is inside you, there ain't no crystal ball.” The magic is inside you. Maybe not the magic to see into the future, but certainly the magic to shape it.

At the end of my life, what will matter to me? Not that I ever had the ability foresee my future (I have little interest in that), but that I had a hand in shaping it. I refuse to think my life is in the hands of the fates and what will be, will be. I have dreams. I have longings. I have significant aspirations for my own future and even for the world. Much of the world I can’t influence. But I can control my thoughts and actions; I can choose my attitudes and behaviors. That is the magic inside me. I can largely shape who I will become, and when I do, I am shaping my future.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams,” said Eleanor Roosevelt, a woman who did much to change the world around her. If there is only one thing to do today, that would be it: to believe in the beauty of my dreams. Really believe in them. That’s where the magic is and anything can happen.

-- Steve Goodier

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Wherever You Are, Be There

An old story comes from pre-telephone days when a young man applied for a job as a telegraph operator. He answered an ad in the newspaper and went to the telegraph office to await an interview. Though he knew Morse code and was qualified in every other way, seven other applicants were also waiting in the large, noisy office, who were no doubt equally qualified.
 
He saw customers coming and going and heard a telegraph clacking away in the background. He also noticed a sign on the receptionist's counter instructing applicants to fill out a form and wait to be summoned to an inner office for an interview. He filled out the form and sat down to wait.
 
After a few minutes, the young man stood up, crossed the room to the door of the inner office, and walked right in. Naturally the other applicants perked up, wondering why he had been so bold. They talked among themselves and finally determined that, since nobody had been summoned to interview yet, the man would likely be reprimanded for not following instructions and possibly disqualified for the job.
 
Shortly, however, he emerged from the office escorted by the interviewer, who announced to the other applicants, "Thank you all very much for coming, but the job has just been filled."
 
They were all confused and one man spoke up: "Wait a minute – I don't understand. We've been waiting longer than he and we never even got a chance to come in."
 
The employer responded, “Were you listening to the telegraph? All the time you've been sitting here, the telegraph has been ticking out a message, ‘Come in now for your interview.’”
 
Kevin Kelly said, “The only factor becoming scarce in a world of abundance is human attention.” I wish I could say that I relate to the man who got the job, but the truth is that I often identify more with everyone else in the waiting room. When I have a moment to wait, I pull out my phone or listen to an audio-book on my mp3 player. I am too often more engrossed in my interior world than in paying attention to what is happening around me.
 
Yet the man in the story practiced a valuable habit – the habit of living in the present. His motto could have been, “Wherever you are, be there.” If you’re there in person, bring your mind along, too. If you're there physically, also be there emotionally. Give your full attention to others (is there really a better gift?).
 
Wherever you are, be there. Be there as fully as you can. Don’t be fooled by multi-tasking. You are only halfway there when you’re doing something else at the same time. Your mind can fully focus on only one thing at a time.
 
It's about being present and fully alive in the moment. Some people try to live in the past while existing in the present. Too often they find themselves filled with guilt or regrets and missing the now moment. Others find themselves living in the future, only to discover that anxiety and worry are cheating them out of joy today.
 
Don’t live in the past – you’ve already been there. And don’t live in the future, either. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. Live in this moment now – it is sacred and unrepeatable. This moment alone holds valuable gifts that should not be missed.
 
Wherever you are, be there. If you can be fully present now, you’ll know what it means to live.
 
-- Steve Goodier

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Image courtesy of Audrey Johnson