When We’re Run Down

Two‌ ‌natural‌ ‌gas‌ ‌company‌ ‌service‌ ‌personnel,‌ ‌a‌ ‌senior‌ ‌training‌ ‌supervisor‌ ‌and‌ ‌a‌ ‌young‌ ‌trainee,‌ ‌were‌ ‌out‌ ‌checking‌ ‌meters‌ ‌in‌ ‌a‌ ‌suburban‌ ‌neighborhood.‌ ‌They‌ ‌parked‌ ‌their‌ ‌truck‌ ‌at‌ ‌the‌ ‌end‌ ‌of‌ ‌an‌ ‌alley‌ ‌and‌ ‌worked‌ ‌their‌ ‌way‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌other‌ ‌end.‌ At‌ ‌the‌ ‌last‌ ‌house,‌ ‌a‌ ‌woman‌ ‌looking‌ ‌out‌ ‌her‌ ‌kitchen‌ ‌window‌ ‌watched‌ ‌the‌ ‌two‌ ‌men‌ ‌as‌ ‌they‌ ‌checked‌ ‌her‌ ‌gas‌ ‌meter.‌ ‌When‌ ‌they‌ ‌finished,‌ ‌the‌ ‌senior‌ ‌supervisor,‌ ‌proud‌ ‌of‌ ‌his‌ ‌physical‌ ‌condition,‌ ‌challenged‌ ‌his‌ ‌younger‌ ‌co-worker‌ ‌to‌ ‌a‌ ‌foot‌ ‌race‌ ‌back‌ ‌to‌ ‌their‌ ‌truck.‌ ‌As‌ ‌they‌ ‌approached‌ ‌the‌ ‌truck,‌ ‌they‌ ‌realized‌ ‌that‌ ‌the‌ ‌woman‌ ‌was‌ ‌huffing‌ ‌and‌ ‌puffing‌ ‌right‌ ‌behind‌ ‌them.‌ ‌They‌ ‌stopped‌ ‌and‌ ‌asked‌ ‌her‌ ‌what‌ ‌was‌ ‌wrong.‌ ‌ Gasping‌ ‌for‌ ‌breath,‌ ‌she‌ ‌replied,‌ ‌“When‌ ‌I‌ ‌saw‌ ‌two‌ ‌gas‌ company ‌men‌ ‌running‌ ‌as‌ ‌hard‌ ‌as‌ ‌you‌ ‌two‌ ‌were,‌ ‌I‌ ‌figured‌ ‌I’d‌ ‌better‌ ‌run,‌ ‌too!”‌ ‌ In‌ ‌another‌ ‌way,‌ ‌we‌ ‌spend‌ ‌a‌ ‌great‌ ‌deal‌ ‌of‌ time‌ ‌running,‌ ‌don’t‌ ‌we?‌ ‌We‌ ‌are‌ ‌running‌ ‌to‌ ‌catch‌ up‌ ‌at‌ ‌work.‌ ‌We‌ ‌are‌ ‌running‌ ‌to‌ ‌keep‌ ‌up‌ ‌at‌ ‌home.‌ ‌We‌ ‌speak‌ ‌of‌ ‌“running”‌ ‌errands.‌ ‌We‌ ‌“rush”‌ ‌off,‌ ‌we‌ ‌stop‌ ‌at‌ ‌the‌ ‌“Quick”‌ ‌mart,‌ ‌we‌ ‌buy‌ ‌“fast”‌ ‌food,‌ ‌we‌ ‌use‌ ‌the‌ ‌“express”‌ ‌lane,‌ ‌and‌ ‌we‌ ‌“hurry”‌ ‌back‌ ‌so‌ ‌we‌ ‌can‌ ‌“race”‌ ‌through‌ ‌our‌ ‌meal.‌ ‌Too‌ ‌often‌ ‌our‌ ‌lives‌ ‌are‌ ‌lived‌ ‌in‌ ‌fast‌ ‌forward.‌ ‌Then we complain that we’re ‌run‌ ‌down. One‌ ‌telecommunications‌ ‌company‌ ‌executive‌ ‌went‌ ‌to‌ ‌see‌ ‌his‌ ‌doctor.‌ ‌She‌ ‌listened‌ ‌to‌ ‌her‌ ‌patient’s‌ ‌heart,‌ ‌shook‌ ‌her‌ ‌head‌ ‌and‌ ‌said,‌ ‌“All‌ ‌I‌ ‌get‌ ‌is‌ ‌a‌ ‌busy‌ ‌signal.”‌ ‌ For many people, these unusual days seem less hurried than before. Because of the COVID-19 scare and subsequent isolation from others, many of us have found that slowing down is what our bodies and souls have craved for years. We find more time to take‌ ‌long ‌walks.‌ ‌We spend‌ ‌more ‌time‌ alone.‌ ‌We discover the re-energizing power of just being ‌still.‌ ‌We actually know what it means to listen‌ deeply ‌to‌ ‌our‌ ‌spirits.‌ ‌We might even discover, as Alan Wolfelt puts it, that we’ve been giving “mindless attention to things that don’t really matter and that we don’t really care about.” Surprisingly,‌ ‌we ‌might even ‌find‌ ‌we ‌have‌ ‌‌more‌ ‌energy‌ ‌for‌ ‌important‌ ‌tasks that we have for too long neglected.‌ When things get back to normal,‌ ‌will we ‌wonder‌ ‌why‌ ‌we ‌ever‌ ‌rushed‌ ‌at‌ ‌all? Today I’ll set my own pace. I’ll still arrive and, better yet, I’ll enjoy the journey.

--Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Ian Britton

Living Like a Turtle

Image courtesy of Crystal Church

A high-powered corporate executive came into a doctor's office for a checkup. He showed signs of overwork and stress. The doc warned him to slow down, to take up a hobby – perhaps painting – to relax. He agreed and started right away.

The next day the high-achieving businessman phoned and announced enthusiastically, "Doc, this painting is wonderful. I've already done ten!"

We don't need to be CEO's or high achievers to suffer from too much negative stress. It's easy to feel overwhelmed. In fact, you may be wondering this very minute whether you have time to read this page.

When I feel all-too-busy, I sometimes envy the turtle. The turtle lives as if time is no obstacle; a turtle seems to have all the time in the world and then some.

I think we have something to learn from turtles. Point in fact: turtles live an exceptionally long life. Humorist E. B. White tells us that scientists are searching their blood for some clues to their longevity. He speculates that
perhaps the turtles' blood vessels stay in such nice shape because of the way they conduct their lives. They rarely miss an opportunity to swim and relax in the sun. No two turtles ever lunched together with the idea of promoting something.

I think he is right about this. Turtles do not attend meetings and conferences. No turtle ever texted while driving, tweeted while eating or complained about too much email. They never use words and phrases like "implementation," "multi-tasking," or "thinking out of the box."

Some days the life of a turtle sounds just about right. Non-anxious and calm.

But in truth I suspect that merely slowing down is not a very satisfying answer. What I need has less to do with my pace of life than my peace of life. At any speed, I crave a deep and lasting inner peace. And if it's solace I'm after, I don't need to pace myself like a turtle, change jobs or set up house on a quiet island. It is usually frenetic living, not high energy, that robs my peace of mind.

I actually feel my best when I am energized and enthusiastic about the next thing ahead. I feel fully alive when I am busy, sometimes even too busy, doing what I love the most. It's not about slowing down or living like a turtle – it's about enjoying my life and finding meaning in it.

I believe we can stay active and engaged and still come from a deep and peaceful place within. We can live in the excitement of the moment without undue stress about the future. And at any pace of life, we can come from the calmness of love rather than anxiety and fear.

Even a turtle can go for that.

-- Steve Goodier


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Needless Worry

A story worth dusting off is about a man who bragged: “I only worry about two things – whether I am sick or well. If I’m well, I have nothing to worry about. And if I’m sick, I’ve only got two things to worry about – whether I get better or whether I die. If I get better, I have nothing to worry about. And if I die, I’ve only got two things to worry about – whether I go to heaven or hell. If I go to heaven, I have nothing to worry about. And if I go to hell, I’ll be so busy greeting my friends I won’t have time to worry. So why worry?”

Regardless of how you feel about his view of life after life, he makes a good point about worry. There is really no room for needless concern about the future. I like what Ralph Waldo Emerson said about worry:

"Some of your hurts you have cured,
And the sharpest you still have survived,
But what torments of grief you endured
From evil that never arrived."

If you’re like me, more than once you’ve found yourself enduring “torments of grief” from evil that has not yet arrived and probably never will. Almost without our being aware, healthy concern for the future can be transformed into cancerous worry. “What if?” we ask. “What if something happens?” “What if things don’t turn out?” “What if…?” Worry can become an all-too-constant companion we might wish would just go away and leave us alone.

And I’m sure about one thing: that my high anxiety about the future doesn't help me with tomorrow's troubles; it only succeeds in ruining today's happiness. I am sure that needless worry, more than anything else, has kept me from really living. It has never helped me solve real problems; it has only destroyed what happiness I might have found in the present. What is worry other than habitual fear of the future? It is a habit of feeling fear. And, like any other habit, it can be hard to break. But also, like any other habit, it CAN be replaced with a better one.

So, what might happen if you should decide to let go of that needless worry - just for today? Can you do it, for one day? What do you have to lose besides anxiety? And look what you may gain – a chance to REALLY LIVE.

Sounds like decent trade to me.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/E Greens

Serenity in Chaos

flickr.com/Amit Patel

As an airport skycap checked through a customer at curbside, he accidentally knocked over the man's luggage. He quickly collected the fallen bags and apologized for the mishap. Unappeased, the traveler burst into an angry tirade, raging and swearing at the skycap for his clumsiness.

Throughout the traveler's rant, the baggage handler calmly apologized and smiled. The livid customer continued to berate the man, even as he turned away and headed for his gate. Through it all the baggage handler smiled and remained calm.

The next customer in line witnessed the incident and marveled at the skycap's professionalism and self control. "I have never seen such restraint and humility," he said. "How do you keep your cool when somebody is attacking you so viciously?"

"It's easy," the skycap answered. "He's going to London, but his bags are going to Tokyo."

I won’t recommend that we use revenge to relieve stress. But let me tell you about someone who has found a way to go through most of his life unfazed by the turbulence that affects most people.

He is one of the calmest people I’ve ever known and he describes how he keeps his cool no matter how turbulent a situation becomes. He says, “I look at it this way. A traffic jam has no power to make me angry. It just stops my car. And that’s the way I try to look at most of what happens to me.” With that philosophy, this guy goes through life with a serenity I can only envy.

My friend likes to say things like, “A rude customer has no power to make me angry; he just fusses.” And, “A mistake I made has no power to make me upset; it’s just a chance to do better.” He shows how we can truly find calmness in the midst of chaos.

Eminent 20th Century American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr wrote a short prayer that has been reprinted countless times. Bill Wilson, co-founder of the support group Alcoholics Anonymous, became familiar with the prayer about 1941. He edited and adapted it, and then circulated it with the title “Serenity Prayer.” You are likely familiar with his version:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

The prayer has been a great help to many hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of people over the years. And the truth of the matter is that there is much which cannot be changed. We can’t do anything about this evening’s traffic. Another person’s reaction is not something we can control. 

Furthermore, we may have made any number of mistakes that we probably regret, but they are in the past and that is something we cannot change. Reliving the past does not help us change the future.

There’s a certain power in calmness. And those who learn to accept with serenity that which they cannot change will find power to change those things they can.

-- Steve Goodier

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