Walking Through Life

 

Image by M Nota

An unusual thing happened to me a few years ago. I spoke casually with a woman who served tables at a restaurant I frequented. We knew each other by first name only, but usually chatted for a few minutes each time I dined there.

One day, she asked me, “Do you have a son about eight years old?”

'What has he done?' I thought. I nodded yes.

She pressed on. “Does he play soccer?”

When I said that he did, she asked if he played in a game the previous week at a particular field. Again, I answered, “Yes.”

“I thought so,” she smiled. “I saw him and thought he must be your son.”

Since there were tens of thousands of young boys in the city, I was amazed and exclaimed, “I didn't know he looked that much like me!”

“Oh, I didn't see his face,” she said smiling as if she were keeping a secret.

“Then how did you know he was my son?” Now I was puzzled.

“I was just sitting in the car, and I saw a little boy in a baseball cap walking across the field to join his team. He walks like you.”

Walks like me? Now I was curious. How do I walk? Since I'm doing the walking, I don't notice how I look to others. Maybe I could watch him amble around to get an idea.

That said, how we walk down a street and how we walk through life are very different things. Perhaps I can't help how I walk down a street, but I want to be intentional about how I walk through life.

Through life, I want to walk gently. I want to treat all of life – the earth and its people – with reverence. I want to remove my shoes in the presence of holy ground. As much as possible, I want to walk in peace.

I want to walk lightly, even joyfully, through whatever days I am given. I want to laugh easily. I want to step carefully in and out of people's lives and relationships. I don't want to tread any heavier than necessary.

And throughout life, I think I would like to walk with more humility and less anger, more love and less fear. I want to walk confidently, but without arrogance. I want to walk in deep appreciation. I want to be genuinely thankful for life's extravagant, yet simple, gifts – a star-splattered night sky or a hot drink on an ice-cold day.

If life is a journey, then how I make that journey is important. How I walk through life.

But still I wonder how I look when I walk down a street.

– Steve Goodier

SHARE this message on Facebook.
"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page.

Beauty Is Soul Deep

Abraham Lincoln loved to tell stories on himself. One of his favorites concerned itself with physical appearance.

In the days when Lincoln used to be on the circuit (traveling on horseback from one county court to another), he was once approached by a stranger who said, "Excuse me, sir, but I have an article which belongs to you."

"How is that?" Lincoln asked in astonishment.

The stranger took a jackknife from his pocket. "This knife," he said "was placed in my hand some years ago, with the injunction that I was to keep it until I found a man homelier-looking than I am myself. I have carried that knife for many years. Now I pass it on to you."

Lincoln added wryly, "I've carried that knife ever since."

Once when he was accused of being “two-faced,” he replied, “If I had two faces, would I be wearing this one?”

One of Lincoln's greatest assets was his ability to laugh at himself and he frequently laughed at his physical appearance. But history does not remember him as an "ugly" individual – in fact, often just the opposite. His spirit was clothed in beautiful garments: character, honesty, humor and courage. And there are other clothes he wore equally well – such as humility and forgiveness.

We say that beauty is skin deep. But it isn't really. It has very little to do with the skin. True beauty is soul deep. It is a fabric that is woven in the soul and worn in plain view.

The Bible speaks of clothing yourself with such things as compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Regardless of how good looking we may otherwise be, I believe that these kinds of clothes will actually be what people see – if not at first, certainly later.

This was taught to me by a woman who used to think that if she were granted only one wish, it would be to be beautiful. She saw her wheel-chair dependent body as unsightly and, therefore, she missed her more attractive assets. But when she was finally convinced of some of her beautiful personality traits by her friends, she came to a different point of view. Today she says, "Now I know I AM beautiful. Very beautiful."

It isn’t true that beauty is skin deep. This woman learned that real beauty is soul deep. And when she understood that, she saw that she was far more attractive than she had ever imagined.

So here’s to all of the beautiful people. They come in different sizes and shapes. Some are old and some are young. They can be found everywhere. And they look nothing alike, until you see the light in their eyes. That light may just be a reflection of the beauty inside; beauty that is soul deep.

-- Steve Goodier

The Beautiful You

We place great emphasis on a narrow idea of physical beauty.

In an American history discussion group, the professor was trying to explain how, throughout history, the concept of “beauty” changes with time. “For example,” he said, “take the 1921 Miss America. She stood five-foot-one inch tall, weighed 108 pounds and sported a 30-inch bust, a 25-inch waist and 32-inch hips. How do you think she’d do in today’s version of the contest?”

The class fell silent for a moment. Then one student piped up, “Not very well.”

“Why is that?” asked the professor.

“For one thing,” the student pointed out, “she’d be way too old.”

Good point -- she’d be way too old. But beauty is a peculiar thing, for it means something a little different to each of us. And it isn’t always about appearance. Sometimes beauty is a quality that softly shines from inner depths. And you may actually radiate more inner beauty than you realize.

An elderly woman noticed that her granddaughter felt embarrassed by her freckles. “I love your freckles,” she said, kneeling beside the girl and admiring her face.

“Not me,” the child replied.

“Well, when I was a little girl I always wanted freckles,” the grandmother said, tracing her finger across the child’s cheek. “Freckles are beautiful.”

The girl looked up. “Really?”

“Of course,” said her grandmother. “Why just name one thing that’s prettier than freckles.”

The little girl peered into the old woman’s smiling face, aglow with kindness and love. “Wrinkles,” she answered softly.

The physical beauty of youth will fade. But the beauty of a spirit, when nurtured, can grow forever.

-- Steve Goodier

Image by flickr.com/Mexico Rosel

The Real You

One woman describes herself as "Five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump." After she had a minor accident, her mother accompanied her to the hospital emergency room. The admitting nurse asked for her height and weight, and she blurted out,"Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds."

The nurse pondered over this information and looked over the patient. Then the woman's mother leaned over to her and gently chided, "Sweetheart, this is not the Internet."

If you could change your appearance in life as easily as you can make one up on the Internet, would you remake yourself? It's tempting to think so. We live in an age when most of us are increasingly dissatisfied with our bodies. We want liposuction, face lifts, tummy tucks, silicon implants and cosmetic surgery - too often for no other reason than to look like someone else!

And don't think I am only talking about women. Men too place great emphasis on their bodies. Studies show that in 1972, one in six men didn't like their appearance; today, almost 50% of men surveyed reported being unhappy with their looks.

Of course, our bodies keep changing. I have less hair on top than twenty years ago. An older man who happens to be bald looked at my head recently and said, "It looks like you go to the same barber as I do."

According to the book The Adonis Complex (The Free Press, 2000), more and more men are feeling insecure about their appearance. In 1996, over 700,000 men had some cosmetic surgery - often in an unhealthy attempt to fix a perceived flaw that nobody else noticed. Eating disorders and steroid abuse are common among males.

The book's authors Harrison Pope, Katharine Phillips, and Robert Olivardia did an experiment in which men were asked to take a computer image of an ordinary man and add muscle mass to him until he was the size these men wanted to be. On average, the men packed about 28 more pounds of muscle mass on the computer image; women, on the other hand, only added a negligible amount of muscles to the image to create their ideal guy.

Poet Khalil Gibran said, "Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart." When you and I choose to believe that our most attractive qualities lie within, we can let go of those unrealistic expectations of our bodies.

Let's care for our bodies; we'll keep them for the rest of our lives. Let's be thankful for them and treat them well.

But remember, the real you, the essence of you, cannot be improved by a bottle or a pill or a salon. It is a beautiful and glorious light shining from your heart to the heart of the world. Cherish the real you - it's pretty terrific. And let it shine.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: freeimages.com/Waldemo

Looking for Beauty

Many people like me feel slightly passed over in a world that seems to place a high value on beauty. But a short poem by Anthony Ewell reminds us that physical attractiveness can be over-rated. He writes:

"As a beauty I am not a great star,
There are others more handsome by far.
But my face, I don't mind it,
For I am behind it,
It's the people in front who get the jar!"

Physically, maybe I'm not the stuff dreams are made of. And maybe, as the poem suggests, it doesn't matter. Because I believe there is another kind of beauty in all of us that can be experienced by anybody who digs a little deeper.

Several times I have visited a natural wonder that is one of the largest and most spectacular of its kind in the world. Carlsbad Caverns is an immense series of limestone caves extending under much of southern New Mexico (USA). Native Americans took refuge in the gaping hole that is the main entrance, but they did not venture far. A hundred years ago settlers in the area were attracted to the opening by the awesome sight of hundreds of thousands of bats swarming from the hole every summer evening. Though a bat guano mining operation was set up, nobody explored much beyond the bat's dwelling places.

Eventually, a cowboy name Jim White explored deeper. He returned with fantastic stories of gigantic subterranean chambers, spectacular cave formations and unbelievably stupendous sights. Even in 1915, after black and white photographs were taken of the caverns, many did not believe. The government sent skeptic Robert Holley to investigate in 1923. He wrote in his final report, "I am wholly conscious of the feebleness of my efforts to convey in words the deep conflicting emotions, the feeling of fear and awe, and the desire for an inspired understanding of the Divine Creator's work which presents to the human eye such a complex aggregate of natural wonders."

A whole new world - majestic, wondrous and awe-inspiring - lay hidden from view. Its unimagined beauty can only be experienced by exploring beneath the surface.

And so it is with people. I have found in people a unique inner beauty that can be discovered by exploring beneath the surface. They may not believe it is there themselves, but that does not mean it doesn't exist.

Those outward looks we're usually so self-conscious about don't matter much. Who people really are may be hidden beneath the outer landscape like a magnificent subterranean palace. And when you care to scratch the surface a bit, you can discover what others have missed.

And you will be rewarded beyond measure.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Marcos de Madariaga

Real Beauty

When a first-time father cuddled his newborn son, he immediately noticed the baby's ears conspicuously standing out from his head. He expressed his concern to the nurse that some children might taunt his child, calling him names like "Dumbo." A doctor examined the baby and reassured the new dad that his son was healthy - the ears presented only a minor cosmetic problem.

But the nervous father persisted. He wondered if the child might suffer psychological effects of ridicule, or if they should consider plastic surgery.

The nurse assured him that it was really no problem, and he should just wait to see if the boy grows into his ears.

The father finally felt more optimistic about his child, but now he worried about his wife's reaction to those large, protruding ears. She had delivered by cesarean section, and had not yet seen the child.

"She doesn't take things as easily as I do," he said to the nurse.

By this time, the new mother was settled in the recovery room and ready to meet her new baby. The nurse went along with the dad to lend some support in case this inexperienced mother became upset about her baby's large ears.

The infant was swaddled in a receiving blanket with his head covered for the short trip through the chilly air-conditioned corridor. The baby was placed in his mother's arms, who eased the blanket back so that she could gaze upon her child for the first time.

She took one look at her baby's face and looked to her husband and gasped, "Oh, Honey! Look! He has your ears!"

No problem with Mom. She married those ears...and she loves the man to whom they are attached.

The poet Khalil Gibran said, "Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart." It's hard to see the ears when you're looking into the light.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/shira gal