So You Made A Mistake?

The obituary editor of a city newspaper was not one who would admit his mistakes easily. One day, he got a phone call from an irate subscriber who complained that her name just appeared in the obituary column. “Really?” was the calm reply. “Where are you calling from?”

Of course, there is no shame in making mistakes. They are an important and necessary part of learning.

A young man came in for an interview with his manager. “Tell me,” the young man asked her, “how did you become so successful?”

“Two words,” she said. “Right decisions.”

He asked, “How did you make right decisions?”

“One word – experience.”

“And how did you get experience?”

“Two words,” she said. “Wrong decisions.”

In order to profit from our mistakes, we have to get out and make some. And so long as we keep making different ones each time, we’re learning and growing.

Entertainer Conan O’Brien spoke to the Harvard graduating class of 2000 about some wisdom he gleaned in life. He told them that he wished the best for them. But then he said something interesting. He told them that he also wished that they experience plenty of the bad as well as the good. “Fall down,” he said. “Make a mess. Break something occasionally. Know that your mistakes are your own unique way of getting to where you need to be. And remember that the story is never over.”

Are you feeling badly about a mistake you recently made? Then decide what you will do differently next time, make amends if necessary, and move on.

Are you afraid of taking a necessary risk for fear of making a mistake? Remember, even poor choices are opportunities to learn. How else are you going to learn to make better ones?

So make those mistakes. Make them boldly. In the end, they will make you better. And if you make enough can you become the best ever.

-- Steve Goodier

Ready to Grow a Little?

"The trouble with resisting temptation," says one woman, "is that it may never come again." Hmmm....

Mark Twain noted that “there are several good precautions against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.” And poet W. B. Yeats said this about those ever-present allurements: "My temptation is quiet." It’s true. They so often sneak up on us unawares.

Oscar Wilde quipped, "I can resist everything except temptation." Isn't that the way it is for most of us? 

Many folks pray, "Lead us not unto temptation." But the problem is ... we honestly don't need leading -- we can find the way there ourselves. And even enjoy the journey. 

It is not always possible to avoid that which is not in our best interest. We're enticed to spend money we don't have. We're lured to ingest something that we will later regret. We're pulled toward people who may not be good for us, and tempted to get back at those who've used or hurt us. Seductions of various kinds bait us at every opportunity.

One pet store owner learned a hard lesson about temptation. He bought a one-foot, three-pound grouper to add to his large saltwater aquarium. He knew that groupers tend to eat smaller fish, but he thought he could control what the fish ate by hand feeding it. In time, however, he noticed that the expensive, exotic fish in his tank had grown sparse.

After 18 months, he was out $5,000 worth of tropical fish. But he now had a three-and-a-half foot long, 35 pound grouper. And who can blame the culprit? Lots of us can’t resist fresh sea food!

But you and I aren't fish. We CAN do something about those temptations that assault us daily. And it’s not just about temptation. 

Maybe you want to change an attitude (control your anger?) or behave differently (eat healthier food?). Well, you can actually do something. You can make the decision, just this time, to act in your best interest, rather than on impulse. You can decide to come from a better place -- for just this moment. 

And that is all that usually matters: making the decision just once today. Just this time. We can always change a behavior or attitude just once. And there’s something powerful in doing it every day… even if it’s just once.

The fact is, you and I build fruitful and productive lives one little decision at a time. Every time we decide to act intentionally, we grow a little. 

Are you ready to grow a little today?

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/vgm8383

Where Change Begins

What final result are you trying to achieve? In the mid-1950s, a flamboyant, but unknown, American pianist had dreams of performing in the Hollywood Bowl. He gathered some money, rented the Hollywood Bowl on an off night, showed up wearing a tuxedo and played a full concert on a grand piano to absolutely no audience at all. (I understand he even placed a beautiful vase of long stemmed roses on the piano for the performance.)

Except that the hall was empty, he lived his dream. Then he kept that dream alive until, four years later to the very night, Liberace performed at the Hollywood Bowl before a capacity, standing-room-only crowd.

Several years prior, it was Harry Emerson Fosdick who voiced a new thought about self-transformation. He said, “Hold a picture of yourself long and steadily enough in your mind’s eye and you will be drawn toward it. Picture yourself vividly as defeated and that alone will make victory impossible. Picture yourself vividly as winning and that alone will contribute immeasurably to success. Great living starts with a picture, held in your imagination of what you would like to do or be.”

Liberace held a picture in his mind of himself performing before a sellout crowd at Hollywood Bowl. He made that picture more vivid by playing a full concert on stage. And that mental image, combined with hard work, skill and his trademark showmanship, contributed immensely to his eventual success.

Whether you want to simply change a habit, change an attitude or change your life...can you “see” the person you want to be? Because that is where change begins.

-- Steve Goodier


Image: flickr.com/Alan Light

Still Under Construction

Image by jphilipg

There is a joke we tell about ourselves in this part of the world. Winter can be harsh and outdoor labor is often curtailed for the coldest months. When asked about weather, some locals like to say, “We have two seasons here...winter and road work.”

My life has been “under construction” as long as I can remember, regardless of the season. Though I realize I am a work in progress and will never be fully completed in a lifetime, I relate to the poet who set these words to paper:

“Your task is to build a better world,” said God, and I questioned, “How?

This world is such a vast place and, oh, so complicated now. 

And I am so small and useless,  there is nothing I can do.”

But God in all great wisdom said, “You just build a better you.”

That was the strategy of the Greek orator Demosthenes some two thousand years ago. Speaker and author, Nido Qubein, in the book Communicate Like a Pro, tells that Demosthenes lived in the “golden age of orators,” when public disputes were settled by oration. As a young man, he was given the chance to speak to the assembly on some vital issue. But his weak voice trembled, his thoughts were muddled and he grew less confident as the speech progressed. He was finally forced to step down to the sound of boos and hisses. Humiliated, he withdrew from public life.

But the young man was not easily defeated. More than anything, Demosthenes wanted to be a great orator. So he launched his own self-improvement program. To improve his diction, he practiced for hours at a time with stones in his mouth. To strengthen his weak voice, he shouted over the heavy winds blowing in from the Aegean Sea. To clarify his presentation, he studied the techniques of the masters. And to overcome his fears, he practiced with a sharp sword hanging over his head.

An opportunity came again several years later, and this time he was ready. He stepped in front of the assembly to warn the national leaders of the great threat posed by Philip II of Macedonia. He offered concise ideas as to how they should fight this dangerous intruder. So powerful was his speech and so clear were his thoughts that, when he had finished, the entire audience rose as one person shouted, “Let us go and fight Philip!”

You may have no desire to become a great public speaker. But, if you're like me, there will always be plenty of room for improvement in areas to which you may be more well-suited than you realize. And if you patiently develop and refine your skills, if you hang out the “Life Under Construction” sign and persistently build a better you, you will be ready when the right time comes. And you will be unstoppable.

-- Steve Goodier

SHARE this message with your Facebook friends.
"LIKE US" on Facebook where you can find a powerful daily quote. 

Creating the Future You

Image by Kishore Nagarigari

[Today's reading is longer than usual. I wrote it as a short chapter of a new book by Joan Herrmann titled Live A Good Life. When the book is published, I'll let you know how you can get a copy. I hope you can take a few extra minutes to enjoy today's message.]

----------

Maybe you’ve had this experience. I recall one afternoon when I attended a parent-teacher conference for my second-grade son. We sat in the children’s chairs. The seat was about a foot off the ground and certainly not made for adults. Those chairs were designed for little people. And as I sat uncomfortably waiting for the conference to begin, I had time to think about how much bigger I’ve gotten over the years. I clearly don’t fit into the small furniture anymore.

We all grow. And, whether we are aware of it or not, we all change. We not only grow physically, we change in other ways. For instance, we grow in our roles. I occasionally asked my adolescent kids, “How do you think you’re doing raising your parents?” I understood that I had to continually change my methods of parenting if I were to relate well to my children as they matured.

One mother told of how she changed as a parent. She mentioned that when her first baby coughed or sneezed, they’d practically rush her to the hospital. But Mom mellowed over the years. One day her youngest swallowed a dime. No hospital visits. No histrionics. She just said, “You know, don’t you, that the dime will come out of your allowance?”

We grow in our roles. And we grow in other ways also. We grow mentally. I hope you are wiser and more knowledgeable today than you were in the past.

And we grow emotionally. Are you better at handling adversity today? Are you a kinder, more generous person? Do you find it easier to love and forgive? Dr. Karl Menninger said this about love and growth: “We do not fall in love, we grow in love and love grows in us.” Is love growing in you?

We also have the chance to grow in another important way -- spiritually. I hope your spirituality is not the same as it was when you were a child. You probably discovered that the spirituality that worked so well for you back then no longer satisfies.

Many children were taught to pray something like this: “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray thee Lord my soul to keep. And if I die before I wake, I pray thee Lord my soul to take.” (Actually, that prayer is a  little brutal when you think about it and I’m told that it originated from a time when plagues swept Europe and children feared that they indeed may not awaken from sleep.) But, if you’re like most people, your spirituality matured as you grew up. A child may pray, “Give me…” or “Help me...” When she becomes an adult, she may find herself more often praying, “Use me….” or simply “Thank you.”

We never stop growing and changing. We grow firmer or more flexible in our attitudes. We develop new skills and abilities. We grow in vision and we grow in confidence. We may also change in negative ways if we’re not careful. We may grow more fearful, more cynical or insensitive to others. We may even find ourselves becoming people we don’t like very much. Life is all about growing and changing.

There are few exceptions to this rule. In fact, the only folks I know that never change reside in communities we call cemeteries.

One woman was shopping for Thanksgiving supper. None of the turkeys she found were large enough to feed her family. “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” she asked the young man stocking the shelves. “No, ma’am,” he said. “They’re all dead.”

If we’re dead, we won’t grow. But if we’re alive, we will. The only question is, will you decide HOW you want to grow? Will you decide to take responsibility for shaping your life? Because, if you don’t make a decision about how you’re going to grow, life will make it for you. If you’re not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are in the process of becoming someone you had no intention of being.

I find one question that, if asked repeatedly, has an amazing power to put intentional growth on the fast track. This one question, more than anything else, can help you take control of how you will grow and change. The question is, “What would the person I want to become do in this situation?” That question alone will help you make different decisions, change the way you act and even change the way you think. That one question, asked regularly, may be the single most important way to take control of how you will grow in body, mind, emotions and spirit. Let me show you how it works.

What if you lost your job or suffered a serious financial setback? You might want to just give up. Instead, ask the question, “What would the person I want to become do in this situation?” Then decide to do it. You may not feel at all hopeful. You may even be afraid. But if the person you want to become is an optimistic and courageous person, you might decide not to react in fear. Instead, you might act as if you had no fear of failure and courageously put yourself out there for new employment opportunities. Or you may look at your job loss as an chance to go back to school instead of wasting time on regrets, depression or fearful inaction.

Or how about this? Let’s say you were betrayed or somehow deeply hurt by a trusted friend or relative. You may want to strike back in an equally hurtful way, or simply have nothing to do with her anymore. Instead, ask the question, “What would the person I want to become do in this situation?” Then act on that answer. You probably feel anger and more pain than you care to admit, but but if the person you want to become is an emotionally strong individual, you might decide to act with strength, rather than licking your wounds. You might choose an appropriate way to confront that friend and tell her how you feel, talk the problem through and even be ready to forgive if a valued relationship can be restored.

Asking yourself this question regularly and then acting on your answer will shape you bit by bit into a person you admire and respect. No situation is too big or too small. It works equally well with daily irritants and life’s bigger challenges.

Take road rage. It is irritating to be honked at or cut off in traffic by an angry driver. You may find yourself reacting in a flash of temper. Next time that occurs, ask the question, “What would the person I want to become do in this situation?” Then choose, in that moment, a different way to respond. If the future you, the person you want to become, were abundantly patient and understanding, you might decide to laugh it off and use the opportunity to work on your sense of humor or to spend the next 15 minutes practicing peace of mind.

Or perhaps you are concerned about some of life’s weightier problems, such as the plight of the poor. But the problems seem overwhelming you feel stymied. As a result, you do little to help. Instead, ask the question, “What would the person I want to become do in this situation?” Then actually do it. If you imagine that the person you want to become is generous and engaged in social problems, you might find a local project and volunteer time and, if possible, money. You would figure out how to make volunteer service and generosity, or even advocacy for the poor, part of your increasingly engaged lifestyle.

I think George Bernard Shaw was right when he said, “Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” Creating yourself may be the most vital and important job you do. It is the task of every day. And it is also an important gift you give yourself -- the gift of creating the person you want to be.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that you’re not wonderful now. You might be just the person you need to be in this moment. Enjoy yourself. Even celebrate yourself. After all, it took a lifetime to get where you are today! But remember...someone else is waiting ahead -- a different version of you. And you have the opportunity to create that person, little by little, every day.

-- Steve Goodier

SHARE this message on Facebook.
"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your Facebook page.

I Don’t Know How to Make a Turtle

Image by Teresa DownUnder

I recently read about a study of ninety top leaders in a variety of fields. Interviewers were trying to determine just what it is that sets leaders apart. They discovered that, for one thing, those who rise to the top of their professions share a never-ending capacity to develop and improve their skills. The key concept here is “never-ending.” They know how important it is to always increase their knowledge and hone their skills.

But what about the rest of us? Author M. Scott Peck said, “All my life I used to wonder what I would become when I grew up. Then, about seven years ago, I realized that I was never going to grow up -- that growing is an ever ongoing process.” I agree. Growing, learning, developing… the process is ongoing. And those who want to live fully will intentionally make learning and growth a lifelong habit.

I once visited a friend who had just celebrated her 80th birthday. She talked with much enthusiasm about a quilt she was making for her great-grandson Loren. She was almost finished -- everything except the center square which she had saved for last. She wanted that to be something special that Loren would particularly like, so she asked him what he would like her to make for the all-important center piece. The little boy replied, “I would like a turtle, please.”  

The problem was that she had never made a turtle and wasn’t sure if she could. So she tried to redirect him. “How about a dog?” she suggested. “Or a house?” She had done those before.

But little Loren, too young to sense her discomfort, persisted. “No thank you, Gramma. I think I would like a turtle.”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like something else? You see, I don’t think I know how to make a turtle.”

Now this was something he didn’t expect. Gramma, who seemed to know how to do everything, even make quilts, didn’t know how to make a turtle.

At first he looked perplexed. Then he must have thought of the many times his own parents encouraged him, because what came out next welled up from a desire to be helpful: “Well, Gramma,” he said pensively, “I think you’re old enough to learn.”

Gramma laughed. “Yes, I suppose I’m old enough to learn.” And since she was a believer that she could do whatever she set her mind to, she set it to learning this new task. When she finished the quilt, it had a turtle right in the middle.

My friend was especially proud of that quilt. And she discovered that Loren was right: she was old enough (and she was also young enough) to learn.

You may or may not want to be a top leader in your field. It doesn’t matter. But when you decide to explore new directions every day, to never stop learning and growing, the most wonderful things can happen.
  
-- Steve Goodier

SHARE this message on Facebook.
"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your Facebook page.

Getting to Your Life Work

Image by John Haslam

It might be more important than you realize...

A silly story is told about a farmer who stopped by his neighbors' home to let them know them that their son was stuck in a mud hole. "How deep is he sunk?" the boy's father asked.

"About to his knees," the farmer replied. He looked decidedly unconcerned.

"Well," said the father, "only up to his knees -- we've got time to set awhile an' jaw before we go."

"I don't think so," the visitor answered. "He's in head first."
   
As ridiculous as it is, the story suggests that there is a time to wait and there is a time to act. Wisdom is knowing which to do.

Some of us err on the side of jumping in and doing without thinking it through first. I have done that more than once. I've acted impulsively and regretted my haste later.

However, I sometimes catch myself erring on the other side. I too often over-think a project or problem and put off doing anything about it almost indefinitely. Which may not be a problem if I postpone a little project around the house or reading a particular book on my shelf. The project and the book will still be there tomorrow. Some things can wait with no dire consequences and I don't want to be enslaved by my to-do list.

But what if we're talking about something important...like fixing a relationship or making needed life changes? I call that life work. Though usually not urgent, it is some of the most important work a person can do. And the cost of putting off vital life work is often higher than one might realize. Broken relationships that could have been satisfying bring heartache. Attitudinal or behavioral changes never addressed will impede your personal growth and happiness for years. And what about those beautiful life dreams never pursued? Life work.

I appreciate these words from writer Og Mandino: “To be always intending to make a new and better life but never to find time to set about it is as…to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to the next until you’re dead.” It never seems very urgent any particular day, but to leave crucial life work behind can be one of the most destructive decisions a person can make.

Here is an important question. A year from now how will you feel about not beginning that life work you may be putting off today? Just beginning it may be all that is needed for now.

Since I began this piece with a silly story, let me end with another one. A golfer had an absolutely horrible day at the links. His ball lay on an anthill and he swung viciously with a five-iron. Again and again he missed the ball and chopped away at the hill, killing ants and sending sand flying through the air. One frightened ant turned to another and said in panic, “We’d better get on the ball if we want to stay alive!”

And that's the point -- if you have been putting off important life work, then this is your nudge to get on the ball.

I guarantee this...a year from now you'll be glad you did.

-- Steve Goodier

SHARE this message with your Facebook friends.
"LIKE US" on Facebook where you can find a powerful daily quote.

You Are a Work of Art

But you may have to be broken before you're finished...

Edward Fischer writes in Notre Dame Magazine (February, 1983), that a leper in Fiji (or, more correctly, a sufferer of Hansen’s Disease) followed the leading of his twisted hands. He became an internationally known artist. “My sickness I see as a gift of God leading me to my life’s work,” he said. “If it had not been for my sickness, none of these things would have happened.”

As a young girl, Jessamyn West had tuberculosis. She was so sick that she was sent away to die. During that time she developed her skill as a writer and authored numerous novels in her lifetime.

That great author Flannery O’Connor suffered various ailments – lupus struck her at 25 and she walked only with the aid of crutches for the final fourteen years of her life. She noted, however, that this illness narrowed her activities in such a way that she had time for the real work of her life, which was writing.

Some people succeed in spite of handicaps. Others succeed because of them. I am not telling you anything new when I say that our problems help to make us what we are. Those who suffer often learn the value of compassion. Those who struggle often learn perseverance. And those who fall down often teach others how to rise again. Our troubles can shape us in ways a carefree existence cannot.

A story is told of an Eastern village that, through the centuries, was known for its exquisite pottery. Especially striking were its urns; high as tables, wide as chairs, they were admired throughout the country for their strong form and delicate beauty.

Legend has it that when each urn was apparently finished, there was one final step. The artist broke it – and then put it back together with gold filigree. An ordinary urn was thus transformed into a priceless work of art. What seemed finished wasn’t, until it was broken.

So it is with people. Broken by hardships, disappointments and tragedy, they can become discouraged and cynical. But lives can also be mended. Put back together well, they won't be just like they were before. Damaged pieces reassembled with a golden bonding of patience and love will help form a person into an exquisite masterpiece. It is as if people have to be broken before they can become whole and complete.

If you feel broken remember this – you are a work of art. As a work of art, you may never be finished, but that is the process of a lifetime. And your very brokenness serves a purpose.

Remember this, too: Every time you decide to mend, you become a little more complete. And a little more beautiful.

-- Steve Goodier

SHARE this message with your Facebook friends.
"LIKE US" on Facebook where you can find a powerful daily quote.

Tending to Your Inner Life

Image by Bert van 't Hul

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."

The lawyers squirmed as he continued. To the one on his left he said, "You gave me $15,000." To the other, he said, "And you, gave me $10,000."

The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out some cash. Handing it to the first one, he said, "Now then, I'm returning $5,000 and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits."

Where is a person of character when you need one?

A whole and healthy life -- a life of character and integrity -- is shaped from the inside. Author Anthony J. D'Angelo says that “the greatest gift you can ever give yourself is a little bit of your own attention.” Authenticity has little to do with outward appearances, or even reputations. It's all about giving your life, especially your inner life, the attention it needs so you may grow into a person you can fully respect. You might say it's an inside job.

But becoming that person doesn't happen all at once. An authentic and genuine life grows like a sturdy tree. And like a tree, it grows slowly.

Every time you make a different and better decision, it grows a little. Every time you choose to do the right thing, even when nobody would find out otherwise, it grows a little. Every time you act with compassion, relinquish your right to strike back, take a courageous stand, admit fault or accept responsibility, it grows a little.

A life of character is like a well-tended tree. And if your life is a gift given to you, then what you do with it is the gift you return. But be patient.

No work you'll ever complete;
no project you'll ever attempt;
no skill you'll ever master;
no book you'll ever write;
no race you'll ever run;
no sculpture you'll ever create;
no task you'll ever perform;
no structure you'll ever build;
nothing you will ever do --
is more important than the life you shape
one day at a time.

Tend to your inner life, give it the attention it needs, and I promise you one thing: you won't be disappointed with the results.

– Steve Goodier 

SHARE this message on Facebook.
"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page. 

When You're Root-Bound

Image by Anton Malan

Our family enjoys a beautiful indoor potted plant that has been with us for over three decades. It has accompanied us through tough years and good times. It has lived with us in six different communities. Some days I think it may live forever, but it once died.

The plant did well for about twenty years, but then began to sag and discolor. We watered it. We fed it. We coddled it. We even talked to it. But leaves and branches drooped lower each day as its life slowly ebbed away. We finally plucked a few half-dead leaves, re-rooted them in a jar of water and planted them in a small pot.

The new small plant grew strong and healthy. But the original finally died. When we dug it out of its ceramic pot we could see why – its roots were a tangle of knots. They had grown so massive they threatened to burst the sides of the pot that held them in. Our once-beautiful plant died because it outgrew its environment – it became root-bound.

People, too, can become root-bound. When they are committed to personal growth and development, when they make the kinds of changes in their lives that lead to greater fulfillment and happiness, they often discover they have outgrown their environment.

I know of a man who was offered a job at a salary higher than he had ever made in his life. But after careful consideration, he declined the position.

His would-be employer was amazed that he turned down the offer. “What’s the matter?” he asked. “Isn't the salary big enough?”

“The salary is fine,” the man said. “It’s the job that’s not big enough.”

At one time he could have happily done the work and enjoyed the money. But he knew now the job would not challenge him and he'd eventually become dissatisfied. He would feel root-bound.

The problem was that he had changed. He had out-grown the job that was offered.

People interested in change and personal development need larger and larger environments in which to live. Their views expand. Their perspectives broaden. Their interests change. They seek bigger challenges. And they need people in their lives who will make room for their growth.

As you grow in these ways, you may discover that you've become root-bound. As Bob Dylan sings, “He not busy being born is busy dying.” My plant was busy dying. If your new-found growth causes you to push against the old ways, you may need to realize you are bigger now and accommodate those changes.

It's not uncommon to become root-bound. It happens when you're busy being born. It just means it's time for a new pot.

– Steve Goodier

SHARE this message on Facebook.

"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page.

What Is Emerging from the Rock?

Image by Richard Simpson

I heard something interesting about the great Michelangelo. In his lifetime, among his many other accomplishments, he worked on over forty statues, but completed less than half of them. The statues he finished are still some of the greatest works of art the world has ever known...the magnificent David, his incomparable Pietà and his exquisite rendering of Moses, to name a few.

But those he never finished are interesting, too. I understand they can be seen in a museum in Italy. On display is a huge chunk of marble from which only an elbow or a wrist awkwardly protrude. Others show a leg, a thigh, a knee, a calf, a foot … even some toes. The rest of the body is locked in the lump of rock.

Michelangelo is reputed to have said, “Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.” Did he fail to discover what was hidden within those stones? Or did he see something there in his mind's eye but was interrupted before he could reveal its beauty? In either case, what is locked inside the marble may stay there forever.

And how like so many of us that is. We have unseen potential that takes time, maybe a lifetime, to be revealed. And how terrible when we get stuck, when we live and die with so much potential unrealized. How sad when only a small part of who we truly are ever emerges.

Writer Brian Tracy says, “The potential of the average person is like a huge ocean unsailed, a new continent unexplored, a world of possibilities waiting to be released and channeled toward some great good.” But I wonder ... do they know it? Do average people know what great potential and exquisite beauty is hidden within? Do they see all they can become? All that is possible for them? Or do they only see the rough and uncut marble? How great a tragedy it is to live a life and never emerge from the rock; never even realize how magnificent is the person unrevealed inside.

What will it take for you to break free of the stone and take the shape of your destiny?

– Steve Goodier

"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page.
SHARE this message on Facebook.

Life As an Active Science

Image courtesy of Mikhail Medvedev

That tireless inventor Thomas Edison famously said of his various experiments, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” Murphy's Law is much less sanguine about it: “If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments.”

I have to say, though, that I like to experiment – especially with my life. I believe in self transformation and try to challenge myself regularly to adopt new attitudes and behaviors. I realize that I can be a little excessive with self change (you may know that already), but I am drawn to the exciting idea that my life is an “active science.”

I think changes in wrist watches over the past 50 years beautifully illustrate how important it is to experiment. Do you know who set the standard for fine watch-making for most of the 20th Century? If you answered, "The Swiss," you are correct. Swiss wrist watches dominated world markets for at least 60 years and Swiss companies were committed to constant refinement of their craft.
   
It was the Swiss who came forward with the minute hand and the second hand. They led the world in discovering better ways to manufacture gears, bearings, and main-springs of watches. They even led the way in waterproofing techniques and self-winding models. By 1968 the Swiss made 65 percent of all watches sold in the world and laid claim to as much as 90 percent of the profits.
   
Now...which country sold the most wrist watches in the 1980s? The answer is Japan. By 1980 Swiss companies had laid off thousands of watch-makers and controlled less than 10 percent of the world market. Between 1979 and 1981, eighty percent of Swiss watchmakers lost their jobs.
   
Why? One reason is the advent of Japanese digital watches. Another major reason is that the Swiss were reluctant to change the way they traditionally designed wrist watches. Like the fact that for too long they refused to utilize the less expensive and more accurate Quartz crystal. In short, they kept doing what they always did. Because they did not seriously experiment with radical new ways of designing timepieces, most Swiss watchmakers found themselves doing something else for a living.
   
Our lives are not so different. Of course we need to accept ourselves as we are, but we can't stop there. We also need to value ourselves enough make needed changes.  It's a simple formula: If we want to live fully we have to keep growing. If we want to keep growing we have to adapt. And if we want to adapt we have to try on new ways of thinking and new ways of doing. For me it's about making my life an active science.

I appreciate Mark Twain's encouragement. "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do," he points out. "So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

Sounds like fun to me.

-- Steve Goodier

"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page.


SHARE this message on Facebook.

On Sharks and People

Image courtesy of paulabflat

One man sat at a stop light. The woman in front of him was going through papers on the seat of her car, and when the light changed to green she didn't go. A green light is not a suggestion, you know, it is more of a commandment. But she didn't notice.

When the light turned red again, she still had not moved. The man in the car behind her now started screaming epithets and beating on his steering wheel.

A policeman tapped on his windshield. "You can't arrest me for hollering in my car," the man said. The cop asked for his license and registration, returned to his car, talked on the radio for a while and finally handed the papers back. The driver protested, "I knew you couldn't cite me for yelling in my own car!"

The officer replied, "I didn't want to cite you for shouting in your car. But I was behind you at the light and saw you screaming and beating your steering wheel. I said to myself, 'That guy is out of control. He's going to hurt someone.' Then I noticed your 'Love Is a Choice' and 'Give Peace a Chance' bumper stickers and I was sure you stole the car."

What the signs on his vehicle said about him and the way he actually behaved looked like, well, two different people. But let's not be too critical. Are we always the people we want to be? I believe in love and justice, forgiveness and second chances and generosity – but I don't always live up to the ideals I profess. 

It helps me to think of sharks. We're told that some kinds of sharks can't breathe unless they swim. They get oxygen from the movement of the sea over their gills and they can only make this happen by constantly moving through the water. In other words, they must keep moving forward to live.

Likewise, humans who want to live well must also keep moving forward. Forward toward the people we want to be. Forward toward our goals and ideals. Change is almost always incremental – a little bit each day. But we must keep moving forward.

As author Marianne Williamson says, “There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” But I find great passion in stretching a little farther than I think I can. I hang on to the belief that it is better to reach too far and fall short than to settle for mediocrity and succeed.

Yes, I don't always give peace a chance and I don't always choose love first. And more often than I care to admit, the person I am today doesn't wholly resemble the one I hope to be tomorrow. But all of that is all right, so long as I keep moving forward, little by little, every day.

Life demands that sharks and people keep moving forward.

-- Steve Goodier

"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page.

SHARE this message on Facebook.

Problems? No Problem

Image courtesy of  Massimo Zunino

“You're having problems? No problem.” That's what I try to tell myself when I begin to feel overwhelmed. And then I remind myself that the only people I am aware of who don’t have troubles are gathered in peaceful, little neighborhoods. There is never a care, never a moment of stress and never an obstacle to ruin a day. All is calm. All is serene. Most towns have at least one such worry-free zone. We call them cemeteries.

But if you’re still breathing, you have difficulties. It’s the way of life. And believe it or not, most of your problems may actually be better for you than you think. Let me explain.

Maybe you have seen the Great Barrier Reef, stretching some 1,800 miles from New Guinea to Australia. Tour guides regularly take visitors to view the reef. On one tour, the guide was asked an interesting question. “I notice that the lagoon side of the reef looks pale and lifeless, while the ocean side is vibrant and colorful,” a traveler observed. “Why is this?”

The guide gave an interesting answer: “The coral around the lagoon side is in still water, with no challenge for its survival. It dies early. The coral on the ocean side is constantly being tested by wind, waves, storms – surges of power. It has to fight for survival every day of its life. As it is challenged and tested it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It grows strong. And it reproduces.” Then he added this telling note: “That’s the way it is with every living organism.”

That’s how it is with people. Challenged and tested, we come alive. Like coral pounded by the sea, we grow. Physical demands can cause us to grow stronger. Mental and emotional stress can produce tough-mindedness and resiliency. Spiritual testing can produce strength of character and faithfulness.
   
So, you have problems – no problem. Just tell yourself, “There I grow again!”

-- Steve Goodier 

"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page.

SHARE this message on Facebook.

About Conversion

Image coutesy of Juliane Riedl

It has been said, “Be contented with what you have, but never too contented with what you are.”

There is a story that comes out of Asia about a farmer who saw a tiger’s tail swishing between two large rocks. In a moment of haste, he grabbed the tail and pulled. All of a sudden he realized he had an angry tiger by the tail and only two rocks stood between him and the tiger’s teeth and claws! So there he remained, afraid to loosen his grip on the enraged animal’s tail lest he surely be killed.

A monk happened by and the farmer called out in desperation, “Come over here and help me kill this tiger.”

The holy man said, “Oh, no. I cannot do that. I cannot take the life of another.” Then he went on to deliver a homily against killing. All the while, the farmer was holding tightly to the tail of an angry tiger.

When the monk finally finished his sermon, the farmer pleaded, “If you won’t kill the tiger, then at least come hold its tail while I kill it.”

The monk thought that perhaps it would be all right to simply hold the tiger’s tail, so he grabbed hold and pulled. The farmer, however, turned and walked away down the road.

The monk shouted after him, “Come back here and kill the tiger!”

“Oh, no,” the farmer replied. “You have converted me!”

What is conversion? It is change. With money, conversion can be the change of a bill into coin or the change of currency from one country into that of another. On the human level, conversion can be a change in beliefs, a change in ideas, a change in attitudes, a change in behaviors or even a change in priorities. To say, “I’m a changed person!” is to say you have somehow been converted.

There are two things I’ve learned about conversion and change. The first is that conversion is not a bad thing. To say you’ve been converted to something does not make you a fanatic. It means you’ve changed your mind or your outlook. If the largest room in the world is “room for improvement,” then it is good to leave plenty of room for change.

And that’s the second thing I’ve learned about conversion – it’s an ongoing process. I always want to leave room for change, room to keep growing. To say, “I’ve been converted and that’s that,” is to say you have decided to quit growing. If life is about anything, it is about growing. The day I quit changing and learning is the day I die.

I like the old southern American slave’s prayer: “I ain’t what I ought to be and I ain’t what I’m agoin’ to be. But I give thanks that I ain’t what I used to be.” Change, for him, has been a good thing and it’s not over yet. Here is a person whose life is like an on-going journey. He is always growing. Always changing. Always becoming. And always aware there’s a little more room for improvement.

Is there a better way to live?

-- Steve Goodier

"LIKE US" on Facebook and get a powerful quote every day on your FaceBook page.

SHARE this message on Facebook.