If You Had It To Do Over

Image by Fred Fokkelman

One woman announced, “I intend to live forever! So far so good….” But the length of our lives is not the real issue; it’s the quality and meaning that matter. Not the years in a life, but the life in the years.

When asked what he wanted to be remembered for when his life was over, Leo Buscaglia replied, “I want to be remembered as somebody who lived life fully and with passion. I’ve been asked to write my epitaph and I have always thought that the perfect one for my tombstone would be, ‘Here lies Leo who died living.’”

I want to die living. And I want to be remembered as one who lived with purpose, joy and feeling. I want to spend my time learning what goes into a whole and happy life, then building that life the best I can.

Sociologist Tony Campolo told about a study in which fifty people over the age of 90 were asked to reflect upon their lives. “If you had it to do over again,” they were asked, “what would you do differently?” Though there were many answers, three responses dominated. Here they are:

1. “I would reflect more.” Do you ever feel that too much time is spent in “doing” and not enough spent thinking about what you are doing and why you are doing it? Reflection on your time and your priorities, your habits and behaviors, your attitudes and beliefs, in short, reflection on your life, will reveal to you what is truly important.
2. “I would risk more.” Have you missed important opportunities because you were afraid to take a chance? Taking more calculated risks may be the only way to make an important dream come alive.
3. “I would do more things that would live on after I died.” Are you immersed in something bigger and more enduring than your own existence? What will be your legacy?

Reflect more. Risk more. Leave a legacy. These are what our elders say they would do if ever given a second chance.

And, of course, the beauty is this: we don’t need a second chance at life to get it right. We can build a life around these values beginning today. And when it comes time for us to leave this existence, we can go with no regrets. 

-- Steve Goodier


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Little Things Make a Big Difference

When I was in college, I shared an American Thanksgiving supper with friends. We spent the day cooking together – turkey, potatoes, green beans, yams and, of course, dinner rolls. I was in charge of the rolls. Looking back, that may have been a mistake.

I love to eat raw dough. Most any kind will do – cookie dough, cake batter, biscuit dough, bread dough – you get the idea. So I rolled out the yeast dough, sliced off a corner and ate it, rolled some more, sliced and ate, rolled, sliced, ate…. I don’t know how much of the dough I consumed before the rolls hit the oven, but I remember it as a wonderful afternoon. Until about a half-hour later.

Yeast, it seems, likes a dark, moist, warm environment. In me, it found one and did what yeast does best – it grew. And grew. And grew.

After a while my stomach was distended and I felt like the Pillsbury Dough Boy with a burping disorder.

It was soon time for supper and I felt too full to eat anything. All of that scrumptious food and I couldn’t eat.

That day I gained a new respect for the power of yeast; it doesn’t take much to make a big difference.

Little things make a big difference. Little things like yeast. Little things like kindness.

Douglas, a fifteen year old boy who lived in Missouri (USA), had been feeling badly for several days. His mother Donna took him to the emergency room where blood tests revealed one of the most frightening things a parent can learn about a child. Her son was diagnosed with leukemia.

Douglas’ life changed. He began a routine of blood transfusions, spinal and bone marrow tests and chemotherapy. The physical trauma was one thing, but he also became depressed. And who wouldn’t? He lost his former life, his healthy self. All of those exciting dreams and plans a young boy has for his future vanished, and in their place all he could see was somebody with cancer. Somebody who may or may not live long. Somebody whose life would be very different than before.

He had a good hospital and good doctors. But it he did not have hope. And without it, he was in serious jeopardy.

Douglas’ aunt called a florist close to the hospital. She wanted the sales clerk to be aware of the flower arrangement’s significance. “I want the planter to be especially attractive. It’s for my teenage nephew who has leukemia,” she told the clerk.

“Oh,” said the sales clerk. “Let’s add some fresh-cut flowers to brighten it up.”

When the floral arrangement arrived Douglas opened the envelope and read the card from his aunt. Then he saw something unusual. It was another card. The second card read:

“Douglas--I took your order. I work at (this floral shop). I had leukemia when I was seven years old. I’m 22 years old now. Good luck. My heart goes out to you. Sincerely, Laura.”

Douglas smiled. He finally felt some real hope. And why not? Here is a person who had cancer as a child and now she is 22 and working! If she can do it, so can he. Douglas found what he needed. He found the will to live.

Little things make a big difference. Little things like kindness and encouragement and hope. Little things all of us can give.

And it doesn’t take much to make a big difference.

-- Steve Goodier

Everything Counts

Early 20th Century African-American poet Countee Cullen spent the summer of his eighth year in Baltimore, Maryland. Shortly after he arrived he noticed a little white boy staring at him. Countee smiled, but the little boy did not smile back. Instead, he stuck out his tongue and called him a hurtful, racial slur.

Cullen later wrote a poem that included his recollection of the summer when he was eight. In it, he says this:

"I saw the whole of Baltimore
from May until September.
Of everything that happened there
that's all I can remember."

The white child likely soon forgot the episode. And he probably never was aware of the pain he inflicted on the young stranger. But the truth is... everything counts. EVERYTHING. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else.

Educator and writer Leo Buscaglia put it like this:

"The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no tickertape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our encouragement, who will need our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. It's overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt."

How truly amazing life can be when we know that... EVERYTHING COUNTS.

-- Steve Goodier

Image by Darinka Maja