Hurry Up And Be Patient

You’ve heard it said, “Hurry up and wait!” But learning to wait calmly is an important part of living. In this age of high-speed connections and instantaneous results, it helps to remember that the Mayflower made its historic voyage across the Atlantic Ocean at about two miles per hour. How did those early settlers occupy their time as they were waiting to arrive?

I love the story of a passenger on Britain’s Imperial Airways, a company that pioneered air travel between England and Australia in the mid-1930s. “If you have time to spare, go by air,” was the popular expression of the day. Airliners were both slow and incapable of flying long distances.

One of the very first flights took off from Croydon Airport near London and flew to northern France where it was delayed extensively due to bad weather. When it arrived in the south of France, one of the motors had failed and it was necessary to wait for another engine to be shipped by sea from England. There were further lengthy delays along the route in Rome, Cairo, the Middle East, etc., until finally the flight had progressed as far as Singapore.

At this point a lady passenger asked the manager in Singapore if he thought the flight would arrive in Australia in the next few weeks because she was expecting a baby shortly.

“My dear lady,” he replied, “you should never have commenced your trip in that condition.”

She replied, “I didn’t.”

We all know about unexpected delays. According to a Timex survey, human beings spend approximately six months of their lives waiting in line for things and about 43 days on telephone hold. Not to mention waiting in doctor’s offices, airport security lines and heavy traffic. Those who take the bus will wait about 27 days of their lives waiting around on the platform or at the bus stop. The list goes on.

Next time you miss a flight, get stuck in traffic or find yourself waiting on hold for customer service, it can be a good time to hurry up and be patient. The sooner you’re patient, the easier your life will become. When you’re patient you can relax and enjoy the ride.

There is great benefit in learning to wait calmly and creatively. Here is a checklist to test your waiting skills:

• Do you expect delays, or do they catch you unawares? Do you anticipate those times when you are likely to have to wait?
• Do you calmly let your inner motor idle though others around you may be stripping their gears? Do you practice calmness and inner peace?
• Do you welcome unexpected delays as a gift of time, which can be used creatively? 
• Do you prepare for delays? Do you have work or entertainment handy when forced to wait? Or do you use the free time to plan ahead or quietly meditate (to get in touch with your soul)?

How did you do with the exercise? Are you making the most of your waiting time? 

Author Joyce Meyer has the right of it when she says, “Patience is not simply the ability to wait - it's how we behave while we're waiting.”

Behave as if you might enjoy it and, well, you might.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Amanda AmiGdalo

Are You Waiting for Peace?

Are you waiting for “things to calm down” a bit before you can be at peace? Inner peace eludes many people who expect to discover it after things calm down, slow down or finally run down. But some wisdom from antiquity, attributed to French philosopher Montaigne, tells a different story about inner peace.

He tells that when the Greek King Pyrrhus prepared for his expedition into Italy, his wise counselor Cyness drew him aside and implored him to reconsider his aggressive activity. “Sir,” he asked the king, “to what end do you make all this mighty preparation?”

“To make myself master of Italy,” replied King Pyrrhus.

“And what after that is done?” asked his counselor.

“I will pass into Gaul and Spain.” 

“And what then?”

“I will then go to subdue Africa; and lastly, when I have brought the whole world to my subjection, I will sit down and rest content at my own ease.”

“For God’s sake, sir,” replied Cyness. “Tell me what hinders that you may not, if you please, be now in the condition you speak of? Why do you not now, at this instant, settle yourself in the state you seem to aim at and spare all the labor and hazard you interpose?”

Gratefully, we are learning different attitudes today about war and peace. But can Cyness’ advice apply to our hectic and conflicted lives?

What keeps you from the inner peace and contentment you crave now? Must life’s battles be fought and won before you can be satisfied? 

Television personality Dave Garroway spoke about finding peace. He said, “I happen to be one of those people who can afford anything he wants, but I find what I really want, I can't buy at all. I want peace of mind, peace of soul; the kind of peace you have when you don't really want anything."

Peace seems to come less from getting what we want than simply from wanting less.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Brian Auer

Worry – The Real Enemy

What does it mean to worry? The Latin concept of worry describes a turbulent force within a person. Worry is a heart and mind in turmoil.

The ancient Greeks thought of worry as something that tears a person in two and drags that person in opposite directions. It is like opposing forces in deadly conflict within the very being of the individual.

The word “worry” itself comes from an old Anglo-Saxon term meaning to choke, or strangle, and that is exactly what it does – it chokes the joy of living right out of its victim. And it chokes off the energy to improve one’s condition.

There is a place for healthy concern, but too often our concern turns into fearful worry. And worry, more than the problem, becomes our real enemy.

Some people have worried for so long that they have become good at it. Just as we can become good at any attitude or behavior if we practice it enough, we can also become good at worrying. Worry is habit – a habitual response to life’s problems.

I rather like the attitude of the late United Methodist Bishop Welch. When he reached the age of 101, he was asked if he didn’t think a lot about dying. With a twinkle in his eye, he replied, “Not at all! When was the last time you heard of a Methodist bishop dying at 101?” Maybe one reason for his longevity is that he never developed the debilitating habit of worry.

I wish I could be like a frog, you know, just eat what bugs me. I’m not a frog, but I can still do the next best thing: I can develop a better habit. Instead of reacting to problems with fearful worry, I can practice coming from a place of peace and confidence. In other words, I can develop a habit of practicing calmness in turmoil.

As Harvey Mackey has said, “Good habits are as addictive as bad habits and a lot more rewarding.” And more fun to practice, I might add.

In this case, practice may not make perfect, but I’m sure to be immensely better off.

-- Steve Goodier

image: flickr.com/Kristian Dela Cour

Living Like a Turtle

Image courtesy of Crystal Church

A high-powered corporate executive came into a doctor's office for a checkup. He showed signs of overwork and stress. The doc warned him to slow down, to take up a hobby – perhaps painting – to relax. He agreed and started right away.

The next day the high-achieving businessman phoned and announced enthusiastically, "Doc, this painting is wonderful. I've already done ten!"

We don't need to be CEO's or high achievers to suffer from too much negative stress. It's easy to feel overwhelmed. In fact, you may be wondering this very minute whether you have time to read this page.

When I feel all-too-busy, I sometimes envy the turtle. The turtle lives as if time is no obstacle; a turtle seems to have all the time in the world and then some.

I think we have something to learn from turtles. Point in fact: turtles live an exceptionally long life. Humorist E. B. White tells us that scientists are searching their blood for some clues to their longevity. He speculates that
perhaps the turtles' blood vessels stay in such nice shape because of the way they conduct their lives. They rarely miss an opportunity to swim and relax in the sun. No two turtles ever lunched together with the idea of promoting something.

I think he is right about this. Turtles do not attend meetings and conferences. No turtle ever texted while driving, tweeted while eating or complained about too much email. They never use words and phrases like "implementation," "multi-tasking," or "thinking out of the box."

Some days the life of a turtle sounds just about right. Non-anxious and calm.

But in truth I suspect that merely slowing down is not a very satisfying answer. What I need has less to do with my pace of life than my peace of life. At any speed, I crave a deep and lasting inner peace. And if it's solace I'm after, I don't need to pace myself like a turtle, change jobs or set up house on a quiet island. It is usually frenetic living, not high energy, that robs my peace of mind.

I actually feel my best when I am energized and enthusiastic about the next thing ahead. I feel fully alive when I am busy, sometimes even too busy, doing what I love the most. It's not about slowing down or living like a turtle – it's about enjoying my life and finding meaning in it.

I believe we can stay active and engaged and still come from a deep and peaceful place within. We can live in the excitement of the moment without undue stress about the future. And at any pace of life, we can come from the calmness of love rather than anxiety and fear.

Even a turtle can go for that.

-- Steve Goodier


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Serenity in Chaos

flickr.com/Amit Patel

As an airport skycap checked through a customer at curbside, he accidentally knocked over the man's luggage. He quickly collected the fallen bags and apologized for the mishap. Unappeased, the traveler burst into an angry tirade, raging and swearing at the skycap for his clumsiness.

Throughout the traveler's rant, the baggage handler calmly apologized and smiled. The livid customer continued to berate the man, even as he turned away and headed for his gate. Through it all the baggage handler smiled and remained calm.

The next customer in line witnessed the incident and marveled at the skycap's professionalism and self control. "I have never seen such restraint and humility," he said. "How do you keep your cool when somebody is attacking you so viciously?"

"It's easy," the skycap answered. "He's going to London, but his bags are going to Tokyo."

I won’t recommend that we use revenge to relieve stress. But let me tell you about someone who has found a way to go through most of his life unfazed by the turbulence that affects most people.

He is one of the calmest people I’ve ever known and he describes how he keeps his cool no matter how turbulent a situation becomes. He says, “I look at it this way. A traffic jam has no power to make me angry. It just stops my car. And that’s the way I try to look at most of what happens to me.” With that philosophy, this guy goes through life with a serenity I can only envy.

My friend likes to say things like, “A rude customer has no power to make me angry; he just fusses.” And, “A mistake I made has no power to make me upset; it’s just a chance to do better.” He shows how we can truly find calmness in the midst of chaos.

Eminent 20th Century American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr wrote a short prayer that has been reprinted countless times. Bill Wilson, co-founder of the support group Alcoholics Anonymous, became familiar with the prayer about 1941. He edited and adapted it, and then circulated it with the title “Serenity Prayer.” You are likely familiar with his version:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

The prayer has been a great help to many hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of people over the years. And the truth of the matter is that there is much which cannot be changed. We can’t do anything about this evening’s traffic. Another person’s reaction is not something we can control. 

Furthermore, we may have made any number of mistakes that we probably regret, but they are in the past and that is something we cannot change. Reliving the past does not help us change the future.

There’s a certain power in calmness. And those who learn to accept with serenity that which they cannot change will find power to change those things they can.

-- Steve Goodier

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And It Came to Pass

As I stared out the rear window of the bus, I thought, 'What if I die? This may be my last night ever.'

At the last minute, we decided to take an all-night bus through the Peruvian Andes down to the coast. Now I was being driven over high mountain passes and on winding, too-narrow and (I was certain) unsafe roads. We live in the Rocky Mountains of western United States. But still I was not prepared for roads too narrow for oncoming traffic to pass by. Every time another vehicle hurled toward us, one of us was forced to pull over and let the other by. Nor was I ready for the supersonic speeds at which our bus rollicked around hairpin curves, or an all-night white-knuckle ride on a too-often unpaved shoulder-less mountain road carved out of the side of sheer vertical slopes lost in clouds. And I wasn't ready to die – at least not that particular night.

I thought that maybe I could sleep during the trip, but all the anxiety of what reminded me of an out-of-control amusement park ride kept me staring out into the night as if by sheer willpower I could keep the bus upright. 'What if we crash?' I thought, and began to count all the possible ways this bus would slide off the mountainside. I worried about the driver, who was apparently working a 12-hour shift. What if he fell asleep? My mind was just too filled with "what ifs..." to find rest. I needed an antidote to worry.

Then I remembered five comforting words: "And it came to pass..." Not coincidentally, the phrase is found throughout the Bible. It's an intriguing phrase..."and it came to pass." I've never read, "And it came to stay." It's always, "And it came to pass..."

Whenever I have encountered problems over the years, they came to pass. My anxieties and worries also came to pass. In fact, I have forgotten most of the fears that once kept me awake over the years. I've learned that most of my toughest times and seemingly impossible situations are not forever. And sufficient strength can be found for those few that may linger awhile.

Besides, what could I do? The bus would either make it or not. Like New York Yankees outfielder Mickey Rivers once said, "Ain't no sense in worrying about things you got control over, 'cause if you got control over them, ain't no sense worrying. And there ain't no sense worrying about things you got no control over, 'cause if you got no control over them, ain't no sense worrying about them."

So I rested in the peace that, like most of what I worry about, this will come to pass. And before long, the sun rose on a beautiful Peruvian landscape. It was true, my worries came to pass.

Can the same be said about problems that worry you?

-- Steve Goodier


Image: flickr.com/rl gnzlz