Greater Strengths and Lesser Strengths

If you’re like most of us, failure is not your best friend. But I like the attitude of one man. “I don’t say I have strengths and weaknesses,” he says. “I say I have strengths and lesser strengths.” That’s me! Lots and lots of strengths... but a great many of them are lesser strengths.

One of my lesser strengths may be in the area of art. But when my three-year-old son asked me to draw a picture of a horse on his chalkboard, I agreed anyway. And it wasn’t too bad. Well, it wasn’t great, I must admit. It may have looked a little more like a dog than a horse. But it was definitely a horse-looking animal of some sort and my young son seemed satisfied.  

I left the picture on the chalkboard. The next day one of his preschool friends stopped by to play. She spotted the drawing and asked, “Who drew the horse?” 

I called down the hall, “I did!” I actually felt just a little bit proud. After all, she immediately recognized it as a horse.

There was a moment of silence as a look of confusion swept her face. Then she asked, “Did you draw it when you were a baby?”

Everyone’s an art critic.

My son’s friend just couldn’t square such a childish line drawing with somebody my age. Sure, I’d starve as an artist, but I don’t have to excel as one. I have other strengths, other skills, other abilities. And I can enjoy good art while I spend time doing whatever it is I am meant to do. 

I appreciate Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s perspective. He said, “Give what you have. To some it may be better than you dare to think.” I don’t need to beat myself up over all the things I do miserably. I learned years ago to make peace with those things. What others call weaknesses I call lesser strengths and look at them as nothing more than opportunities to learn.

In the meantime, I’ll give what I can and trust that will be enough.

-- Steve Goodier

No Great Talent

“I don’t have any talent.” You have certainly heard those words. You may have even said them yourself. And quite possibly, if you looked closely enough, you would discover that you are wrong.

Mary Frye enjoyed writing poetry. She wasn’t interested in publishing her poems, and occasionally she passed one on to a friend who could use a lift. “I don’t figure I have any great talent,” the Baltimore, Maryland homemaker said. But many people would disagree. One of her poems, especially, has given hope and comfort to people in grief for over 50 years.

When a friend of hers lost someone close, Mary Frye jotted down a poem, which seemed to spring from her heart, and gave it to the grieving woman. That poem was later passed on to others, who, in turn, passed it on until it became an American classic. “If it helps one person through a hard time, I am amply paid,” said Mary, who has received no remuneration for her uncopyrighted work. It has been used in countless funerals, translated and used in foreign lands and even incorporated into television drama.

Here is her original text, which has moved so many for so long:

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room,
I am the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.

How many people are finding strength and solace from a verse jotted by a woman who always professed she had no talent? And what if she had kept her poetry to herself? Don’t be afraid to use the talents you do possess. As Henry Van Dyke said first,  “The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.”

-- Steve Goodier

Image: freeimage.com/Helmut Gevert

Expect a Masterpiece

Image by Barnaby Wasson

"When love and skill work together; expect a masterpiece." -- John Ruskin

It was reported that one man was killed and another wounded in the Philippines when a fight broke out at a karaoke bar in Manila over the quality of the singing. The fighting evidently broke out when a group of drinkers claimed the man at the microphone was singing out of tune. Many karaoke clubs in the country have already removed Frank Sinatra's "My Way" from their play lists because of fistfights as the song was being performed. There was apparently no tolerance to let them sing it "their way."

While it's true that some people perhaps believe themselves to be talented in ways they clearly are not, that is not the case with most of us. People frequently lament that they have little or no talent; that they possess no "gifts" or unique abilities. Too many of us see ourselves as having little to contribute beyond our jobs. Too often we feel that we will make little difference in this world because we have nothing to offer.

But then there's a young woman I read about named Mary. Mary has Down syndrome. She is a volunteer teacher at a school she herself attended many years ago. Mary works with 2- and 3-year-olds, some of whom are developmentally delayed and some are not. Among other tasks, she helps with puzzles, reads stories and teaches her students a variety of athletic activities. "We care about little kids here," she says. "We set examples for them."

Mary does not say that she has nothing to offer; she knows better. And I suspect she knows that it does not matter WHAT talents and abilities any of us has, but what we DO with them that counts.

John Ruskin correctly says, "When love and skill work together; expect a masterpiece." Mary takes what skill she has, combines it with a heart full of love, and gives it away as a masterpiece.

Now … who can't do that?

-- Steve Goodier

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The First Secret of Success

Image by Troy Stoi

 

Do you know what it is?

“It’s not what you are that holds you back,” says entrepreneur Denis Waitley, “it’s what you think you are not.” The evidence leans towards this: Those who believe that they will never do well in a particular area probably never will. Those who believe they are not good at anything will forever feel inadequate. But those who believe that it is possible to succeed at what they attempt can surprise themselves. Let me tell you about a man who learned that important lesson.

Adam was ready to retire. His wife Anna, however, was less enthusiastic. As she explained to a friend, "Adam has never done anything that required physical exertion. He never played golf, mowed the lawn or even washed the windows. When he retires, he will sit in his easy chair and expect me to bring him his food."

But to Anna's surprise, soon after her husband retired, he joined a health club. And one night, when Adam arrived home from exercise class, he announced, "I signed up for the wrestling tournament. I am going to wrestle Friday night."

Anna was shocked. "Please don't do it, Adam," she begged. "You're not in shape. You will be so beat up they will have to carry you home!" However, he couldn't be dissuaded and she told him that if he went through with his "lame idea," she was not going to watch.

True to her word, she stayed away that Friday evening as Adam wrestled. And just as she predicted, two men practically carried Adam home. He lay down on the couch, every muscle strained and bruised. Before she could speak, he sputtered, "Don't say a word, Anna! This is not the worst of it. I won tonight. I have to wrestle again tomorrow night!"

Adam believed he could do it and he did, though, in this case, he didn't think through the consequences of winning. As Dr. Norman Vincent Peale said, "People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success."

The first secret of success: Believe in Yourself. Nothing changes in your life until you believe you can do things that are important to you. And if you have a low opinion of yourself, nobody else is likely to raise it.

Adopt the first secret of success and you might surprise even yourself.

-- Steve Goodier


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Do You Believe in You?

Image by Bethany Carlson

Did you know that Albert Einstein could not speak until he was four years old and did not read until he was seven? His parents and teachers worried about his mental ability.
   
Or that Beethoven’s music teacher said about him, “As a composer he is hopeless”? What if young Ludwig believed it?
   
When Thomas Edison was a young boy, his teachers said he was so stupid he could never learn anything. He once said, “I remember I used to never be able to get along at school. I was always at the foot of my class...my father thought I was stupid, and I almost decided that I was a dunce.” What if young Thomas believed what they said about him?
   
When F. W. Woolworth was 21, he got a job in a store, but was not allowed to wait on customers because, according to his boss, he “didn’t have enough sense.” I wonder if the boss was around when Woolworth became one of the most successful retailers of his day.
   
When the sculptor Auguste Rodin was young he had difficulty learning to read and write. Today, we may say he had a learning disability, but his father said of him, “I have an idiot for a son.” His uncle agreed. “He’s uneducable,” he said. What if the boy had doubted his ability to excel?
   
A newspaper editor once fired Walt Disney because he was thought to have no “good ideas.” The great Italian tenor Enrico Caruso was told by one music teacher, “You can’t sing. You have no voice at all.” And an editor told Louisa May Alcott, just a few years before she wrote the classic novel Little Women, that she was incapable of writing anything that would have popular appeal.

History will long praise each of these famous people, but what became of their critics? Nobody even remembers some of their names, which is all that need be said.
   
But what if these young people had listened to those critical voices and became discouraged? Where would our world be without the music of Beethoven and Caruso, the art of Rodin, the ideas of Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison, the imagination of Walt Disney or the literary contributions of Louisa May Alcott? As it was so accurately put, “It’s not what you are, it’s what you don’t become that hurts.” (That from Oscar Levant.) What if these people had not become what they were capable becoming, had not done what they actually could have accomplished, just because they were discouraged by people who couldn't see them for what they were?
   
We all have potential and, whether you realize it or not, your desire to do or be more than you are is your best indicator of future success. Others may discourage you, but the most important voice to listen to is your own. Do you believe in you?

Still the voices of your critics. Listen intently to your own voice, to the person who knows you best. Then answer these questions: Do you think you should move ahead? How will you feel if you quit pursuing this thing you want to do? And what does your best self advise?

What you hear may change your life.

-- Steve Goodier
 
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All Used Up

 

A well-known surgeon was attending a dinner party and watched the host adroitly carve and slice the large turkey for his guests.

When he finished slicing, the host asked, “How did I do, Doc?  I think I’d make a pretty good surgeon, don’t you?”

“Perhaps,” said the physician. “But anyone can take them apart. Now let’s see you put it back together again.”

Like surgery, some tasks require special talent, skill or training. There are those who have what it takes to work in an operating room. Others have the kind of aptitude needed to teach a class or repair an automobile, and still others can cook a delicious meal, play a musical instrument well enough that folks want to listen or solve difficult mathematical problems. Some people have a natural ability to relate to others, some people are imaginative problem-solvers, some people can organize almost anything and others possess the gift of empathy. I have yet to meet anyone who does not exhibit a unique talent or ability.

But Spanish cellist Pablo Casals said it well: “Don’t be vain because you happen to have talent. You are not responsible for that; it was not of your doing. What you do with your talent is what matters.”

And what's the best thing to do with talent and ability? Use it. Use it generously – even extravagantly. And use it for good.

Erma Bombeck was known for her humorous journalism. But she frequently seasoned her writing with pinches of wisdom. At the end of a newspaper column on March 10, 1987, Bombeck wrote these words:

I always had a dream that when I am asked to give an accounting of my life to a higher court, it will go like this: "So, empty your pockets. What have you got left of your life? Any dreams that were unfulfilled? Any unused talent that we gave you when you were born that you still have left? Any unsaid compliments or bits of love that you haven’t spread around? "

And I will answer, "I’ve nothing to return. I spent everything you gave me. I’m as naked as the day I was born."

 She would agree that what we do with what we're given is what matters.

My question is this: what would you find if you emptied your pockets today? Any unused talent? Is there anything inside that should be spent, shared or given away? When it comes to your time and resources are you living a life of extravagant generosity?

I'm going to mentally empty my pockets tonight at bedtime and see if I've been holding back. I think that's important. I want to make sure there is nothing left at the end of the day that could have been used. And then tomorrow I'll see what I can use up.

I can hardly think of a more worthwhile and joyous way to live.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: freeimages.com/David Playford

We Can Get Bigger

I’ve never followed boxing closely, but I chuckle at the attitude of a high school boxing coach. Some of the new athletes were, let’s say, better suited for other activities. One of his boys worked furiously for a couple of rounds, but never connected with anything that might be construed as a punch. Nevertheless, he asked, “What do you think, Coach? Have I done him any damage?”
 
“No,” said a bewildered coach. “But keep on swinging. The draft might give him a cold.”
 
Slim as it is, that might be his only chance to win. And we’ve all been there, haven’t we? Slim to none are sometimes the best odds we can hold out for. Those were about the odds one may have given to early mountaineers who attempted Mt. Everest.
 
It took 32 years of failures for dedicated climbers to reach the top of Mt. Everest, a peak scaled so often now it hardly makes the newspaper. At over 29,000 feet of altitude, snow never melts atop the peak. Sometimes winds at the summit reach 200 miles per hour.
 
George Leigh-Mallory is first recorded as attempting the climb in 1921. On his third try, in June of 1924, he disappeared into the mist and was never seen alive again. The mountain had won. But friends of Mallory one day gazed upon a large picture of the mountain and declared, “Mt. Everest, you defeated us once. You defeated us twice. You defeated us three times. But, Mt. Everest, we shall someday defeat you because you can’t get any bigger – and we can.”
 
Eight more attempts were made on the mountain resulting in eight more failures. But finally, along came Edmund Hillary in 1953 who, along with his guide, Tenzing Norgay, reached the summit for the first time.
 
For years one attempt after another ended in discouragement. But they knew they could get bigger. It’s true, we can always get bigger. Bigger in ability, bigger in experience, bigger in wisdom, bigger in faith. We can always get bigger.
 
And besides, failure is rarely fatal. Every time we fail, we experience a unique opportunity to grow, to get bigger.
 
I am not a fan of failure. But because of it, I am bigger now than I have ever been. I’m big enough today to handle most anything that comes my way. And what’s better, I’m not done growing.
 
What I know is this: when I need to, I can always get bigger.
 
-- Steve Goodier

A Better Way to Live

Did you know...?

That Joan of Arc was only seventeen when she was riding at the head of the army that liberated France from the English?

That church reformer John Calvin was twenty-six when he published his "Institutes"?

That poet John Keats died when he was twenty-six?

That Shelley was thirty when he was drowned, but not before he left English literature his classic "Odes"?

That Sir Isaac Newton had largely discovered the working of the law of gravitation when he was twenty-three?

That Henry Clay, the "great compromiser," was sent to the United States Senate at twenty-nine and was Speaker of the House of Representatives at thirty-four?

That Raphael painted his most important pictures between twenty-five and thirty?

That Mozart only lived to be thirty-five years old?

Maybe I’m just a late bloomer.

When I was a young man I wanted to make things happen. After a few years I realized I would have to content myself with watching most things happen.

Unfortunately, these days I usually have no idea what is happening.

Of course, most of us will never paint a masterpiece, write a classic or discover an important scientific principle. But why should we? We’re each cut from a unique pattern.

Dick Van Dyke once told the story of a woman taking her nephew to her Catholic church. She whispered to him as they approached the pew: "Can you genuflect?"

"No," he said, "but I can somersault!"

I wonder if he showed her…right then and there. I can almost see him rolling down the aisle in a joyous celebration of the thing he CAN do, with no regard for genuflecting… the thing he cannot do.

Some people waste lives obsessing on that thing they cannot do, wishing they were more competent. And some measure the value of their abilities against those of others, wishing they could contribute in a bigger and better way.

You and I may never be a Mozart, a Raphael or a John Keats. But there are things you CAN do to bring beauty or joy or happiness to your world. Find them. Do them. Celebrate them. Rejoice in them.

I can hardly think of a more significant way to live.

-- Steve Goodier

Turtle's Can't Fly

A determined little turtle once climbed a tree. He somehow made it to the first branch. Then he jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground.

After a while he slowly climbed the tree again. And again he jumped. This time he flapped all four of his limbs, but still plummeted to the hard ground.

The persistent turtle tried again and again with the same results. A couple of birds perched on a branch nearby watched his futile efforts. One of them turned to her mate and said, "Dear, don’t you think it's time to tell him he's adopted?"

There are simply some things we cannot do. Turtles can’t fly.

Comedian Bob Hope once thought of pursuing a career in boxing. Later in life he quipped about it: “I ruined my hands in the ring” he said. “The referee kept stepping on them.”

Fighting is something he could not do well. But he became a great comedian.

Lots of people have ability and talent. And most people have an idea about what they think they can do. So why do some excel but many do not?

The famous American caricaturist Al Hirschfield explained it like this: “I believe everybody is creative and everybody is talented,” he said. “I just don't think that everybody is disciplined. I think that’s a rare commodity.”

The secret seems to be discipline. Whatever ability we are born with is not enough. Even raw talent requires discipline to be nurtured and developed. But enough hard work and discipline can turn the most meager skill or ability into a great strength.

A man jumped into a taxi cab in New York and asked the driver, "How do I get to Yankee stadium?"

The cabbie replied, "Practice! Practice! Practice!"

He’s right. And although discipline and practice may never get a turtle to actually fly, it will probably get you and me just about wherever we want to go.

-- Steve Goodier


Image: flickr.com/Rob

Gifted for Something?

I heard of a woman who operated a daycare for children from her home. As she transported children in her car one day, a fire truck zoomed by. The kids were thrilled to see a Dalmatian on the front seat, just like in the old-time stories.

They began a conversation about the duties of a "fire dog." One child suggested that they use the dog to keep the crowds back. Another said the Dalmatian is just for good luck. But young Jamie brought the argument to an end when he said, "They use the dog to find the hydrant!"

He reminds us that we all have useful abilities, if sniffing out fire hydrants is a useful ability. Some of our skills are apparent. Some are hidden. Some probably haven't even been discovered. Some can be improved with work -- lots of mine fall into this category.

Madame Marie Curie, the first woman to win a Nobel Prize (she won two), said this about giftedness: "Life is not easy for any of us, but what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained."

I like that. "We must believe that we are gifted for something." Do you believe you are gifted for something? Do you know what that "something" is?

American football's William Floyd probably thought his athletic ability was his greatest gift. But then he injured his knee halfway through his 1995 season with the San Francisco Forty-Niners. The talented athlete was out for the rest of the season. It was then that he found a gift he may not have known he possessed.

William Floyd still wanted to contribute and he did NOT want his self pity to spill over to the rest of the team. So he stood on the sidelines at every workout and in every game and encouraged his teammates on. He shouted and cajoled; he motivated and consoled; he became a dominating presence and a source of great inspiration for his team. He had a remarkable ability for bringing out the best in others.

At the end of the year, his teammates voted him the player "who best exemplifies inspirational and courageous play." As much as they needed him on the field, they discovered how much they needed him on the sidelines, urging them to do and to be their best. I wonder if his newly-found life skill, his gift of positive motivation, could prove more useful than even his athletic ability?

What if we believed we were "gifted for something"? What difference would that make?

And what if we believed we should do something about it? What difference would that make? What difference COULD that make?

I think a lot of life is about finding that out.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Dawn Endico

Doing What We Can Do

This world seems to be full of talent. I've never felt as if much of it has come my way, so I appreciate this story.

It is about a wholesaler in New York who sent a letter to the postmaster of a small Midwestern town. He asked for the name of an honest lawyer who would take a collection case against a local debtor who had refused to pay for a shipment of the wholesaler's goods. He got this reply:

Dear Sir:
I am the postmaster of this village and received your letter. I am also an honest lawyer and ordinarily would be pleased to accept a case against a local debtor. In this case, however, I also happen to be the person you sold those crummy goods to. I received your demand to pay and refused to honor it. I am also the banker you sent the draft to draw on the merchant, and I sent that back with a note stating that the merchant had refused to pay. And if I were not, for the time being, substituting for the pastor of our local church, I would tell you just where to stick your claim.

Not many of us are multi-talented. I cannot do all that many things well and most things I cannot do at all. But we all have our gifts.

As talented as the great theoretical physicist was, even Albert Einstein experienced feelings of inadequacy. In 1948 Einstein was offered the first presidency of the new nation of Israel. He turned it down with this statement: 

"I am deeply moved by the offer from our State of Israel [to serve as President], and at once saddened and ashamed that I cannot accept it. All my life I have dealt with objective matters, hence I lack both the natural aptitude and the experience to deal properly with people and to exercise official functions. For these reasons alone I should be unsuited to fulfill the duties of that high office...." (The Einstein Scrapbook, Johns Hopkins University Press, 2002)

Dr. Einstein knew plenty about the nature of the universe, but this wise and insightful man also knew that he lacked the necessary political skill for such a demanding position. Is there really any shame in knowing our limitations? He focused on that which he did well and the world is the better for it.

You may or may not recognize it, but you have the capacity to do some things well. In fact, very well. Few of us will ever be Einsteins, but we can still contribute meaningfully to life. And when we know what it is we can do and decide to do that particular thing, we just might discover we are happy.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/AJ Cann