Not-So-Grim Reaper

Cyrus McCormick, who invented the reaper and founded the company that became International Harvester, was a generous contributor to Chicago’s Presbyterian Theological School. Because of that fact, the school later changed its name to McCormick Theological Seminary. Faculty and students have quipped that death is never referred to as “The Grim Reaper” at McCormick, but always as “The International Harvester.”

“Grim” is not a word which describes the experience of many people who find themselves nearing life’s end. Like Dr. Abraham Maslow commented after a heart attack which made him realize that his own death was not far away: “Death, and its ever-present possibility makes love, passionate love, more possible.  I wonder if we could love passionately, if ecstasy would be possible at all, if we knew we’d never die.”

Likewise, psychiatrist Irvin Yalom, who worked with terminally ill cancer patients, reported that “grimness” was far from their attitudes about passing on. Yalom tells us that once his patients accepted the fact that their lives were rapidly drawing to an end, positive and exciting changes occurred. He reports that they felt a sense of freedom to do what they wanted to do. Furthermore, they lived in the present and enjoyed it more. They found themselves appreciating the world around them in ways they never had before. They communicated more deeply with loved ones and actually looked forward to holidays in joyous anticipation.

Because these people knew they were dying, they figured out how to live. Nothing grim here. They came alive in ways never before possible. Like one dying woman said to me, “Life sparkles.”

Oh, maybe you don’t want to volunteer to hop on that bus today, but we’ll each set off on the journey soon enough. And from what I can tell, it promises to be an exciting adventure. But in the meantime, what if you set out to start living now as if your short days here were truly numbered? When “The International Harvester” knocks on your door, may it be opened by somebody who didn’t wait until it was time to die to learn how to live.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/lrutherford03

The Big Question

I have a friend who learned something new about grizzly bears, or the brown bear, as it is often called. He recently traveled to Alaska and did some hiking. He was told to protect himself from brown bears by wearing tiny bells on his clothing. He said the bells warn away MOST bears. He was also cautioned to observe the ground on the trail, paying particular attention to bear droppings. If fresh bear scat should be spotted, he was warned to stay alert to the presence of grizzlies. With a twinkle in his eye he added, “You can tell when the droppings come from grizzly bears because of the tiny bells in them.”

I suppose if he worried too much about bears, he might miss out on some of the fun of hiking. Best not to become overly-concerned about everything that could possibly go wrong, like spooking a grizzly bear. After all, even in the best hikes, one has to take a few risks. But seasoned hikers know that the payoff is usually worth it. 

Author and environmentalist Edward Abbey was speaking about hiking as well as life when he said, “May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view.” To arrive at someplace amazing, the trek may be difficult and we must be prepared to accept some risks along the way. Especially if we’re following our heart into unknown territory or attempting something bigger than we’ve ever tried before. Of course, we can always choose an easier path, one that is more comfortable and safer, but we may not like where we end up nearly as much. 

Like Joseph Campbell said when speaking of following your bliss through life: “The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure.” 

That IS the big question, isn’t it? Will we say a hearty yes to our adventure? To a full, rich and well-lived life? One thing I know: the path may be tricky and even treacherous at times, but it will be worth it.

--Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/marneejill

Remember

One woman complained to a friend that she couldn’t remember anything from one day to the next.

“Let me get this straight,” he said. “You can’t remember anything from one day to the next. How long has this been going on?”

She said, “How long has what been going on?”

Even if your memory is perfect, it may still help to focus on the few things you really need to remember. This list, compiled from several sources, may be all you really need to remember..

• Remember that your presence is a gift (a present) to the world.
• Remember that you are a unique and unrepeatable being.
• Remember that you are still becoming what you will be.
• Remember to relax; each day just comes one at a time.
• Remember to count your blessings, not your troubles.
• Remember that you have sufficient courage to face whatever comes along.
• Remember that most of the answers you need are within you.
• Remember that decisions are too important to leave to chance.
• Remember to always reach for the best that is within you.
• Remember that nothing wastes more energy than worry.
• Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
• Remember that the longer you carry a grudge, the heavier it gets.
• Remember not to take things too seriously; there’s always reason to laugh.
• Remember that happiness is more often found in giving than getting.
• Remember that life’s greatest treasures are people, not things.
• Remember that a little love goes a long way.
• Remember that a lot goes forever.

-- Steve Goodier

Be A Good One

Pablo Picasso, the great Spanish painter and sculptor, once said this about his ability: “My mother said to me, ‘If you become a soldier, you’ll be a general; if you become a monk, you’ll end up as Pope.’ Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.” No lack of confidence here!

But he would have agreed with Abraham Lincoln. “Whatever you are,” said Lincoln, “be a good one.” He demonstrated the wisdom of that advice with his own life. 

And Martin Luther King, Jr. put it this way: “If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as a Michaelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, 'Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.”

I think it helps to remember that excellence is not a place at which we arrive so much as a way of traveling. To do and be our best is a habit among those who want to live well.

Viennese-born composer Frederick Loewe, whom we remember from his musical scores that include “My Fair Lady,” “Gigi” and “Camelot,” was not always famous. He studied piano with the great masters of Europe and achieved huge success as a musician and composer in his early years. But when he immigrated to the United States, he failed as a piano virtuoso. For a while he tried other types of work including prospecting for gold and boxing. But he never gave up his dream and continued to play piano and write music. 

During those lean years, he could not always afford to make payments on his piano. One day, bent over the keyboard, he heard nothing but the music that he played with such rare inspiration. When he finished and looked up, he was startled to find that he had an audience – three moving men who were seated on the floor.

They said nothing and made no movement toward the piano. Instead, they dug into their pockets, pooled together enough money for the payment, placed it on the piano and walked out, empty handed. Moved by the beauty of his music, these men recognized excellence and responded to it.

Whatever you are, be a good one. Because if you believe that what you do is of value, then, at least in the important things, you and I can’t afford to be content with mediocre output. Like Albert Einstein said: “We have to do the best we can. This is our sacred human responsibility.” 

And when you choose the path of excellence through this life, then like Frederick Loewe, you may find encouragement from unexpected sources. And it will have been worth it.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Gil Garber/

Love Life - and Let It Love You Back

A man had just taken his annual physical exam and was waiting for the doctor's initial report. After a few minutes the doctor came in with his charts in hand and said, "There's no reason why you can't live a completely normal life as long as you don't try to enjoy it."

One of the great keys to successful living is to ignore that doctor's recommendation and enjoy life as much as possible. Living well is difficult. Learn to enjoy it. Decide to be happy.

I once heard a story that you are sure to appreciate, even if you don’t know (or care) much about baseball. It occurred many years ago, back when Branch Rickey was managing the St. Louis Browns baseball team. The Browns happened to be playing against the Detroit Tigers and the immortal Ty Cobb came to bat with two outs and the bases empty in the last inning of a tie game. Cobb drew a base on balls. Once at first, Cobb took a risky lead. His daring, his pure desire to make the most of the moment, rattled the pitcher. The pick-off throw was wild and Cobb dashed. He made a defiant turn at second, forcing another wild throw, slid 10 feet into third and watched as the dazed third baseman muffed the catch. Cobb sprang to his feet and sped for home. By sheer adventure and skill he made what amounted to a home run out of a base on balls!

Ty Cobb’s Tigers won and the Browns lost as a result. But, Branch Rickey, the opposing manager, was thrilled. He had the privilege of witnessing Ty Cobb's irrepressible love of the game, a quality that set him apart from most other players. Rickey later commented, "If a player really loves this game, it'll love him back."

So it is with all of life. If I really want to love life, I must give it all I have. And if I give myself to it fully, I enjoy it more. If I try to truly live every moment and pay attention, if I laugh more and worry less, I find more joy -- even in the struggles. 

Henry Van Dyke said, "Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look at the stars."

Do you love life? After all, it’s giving you a chance to work and play and gaze at the stars. Be glad. Enjoy! Learn to love it...and let it love you back.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/John Britton

PhD in Living

American baseball great Charlie Hough says, "Listen to everyone. Learn from everyone. Nobody knows everything but everyone knows something."

At her citizenship hearing in 1967, Immaculata Cuomo (mother of the late New York governor Mario Cuomo) was asked by the judge how many stars were on the US flag. She said she didn't know, but could she ask the judge a question? After he agreed, she asked him how many hands of bananas were on a stalk. He admitted he didn't know, so she proudly said, "Well, I do." Her citizenship was granted. Here was a judge who wisely realized that everyone has something to teach.

"Live to learn and you will learn to live," says a Portuguese proverb. For life cannot be lived well in ignorance. In fact, those who live life to the fullest have a PhD in living. This is what a PhD in living means:

P is for "poor in knowledge." Those who live best realize that they can never learn enough.

H is for "hungry to learn." Those who hunger for knowledge will always find plenty to eat.

D is for "desire to succeed." Those who desire to learn and improve, and those who persist in spite of obstacles, will live fully.

Realize you're poor in knowledge, become hungry to learn and desire to succeed. Everybody and every occasion can become your teacher, and this is the PhD that will open the door of living fully.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Cole Young

Paying Attention

A funny story circulated recently about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of the fictional detective Sherlock Holmes. Doyle evidently told of a time when he hailed a taxi in Paris. Before he could utter a word, the driver turned to him and asked, “Where can I take you, Mr. Doyle?”

Doyle was flabbergasted. He asked the driver if he had ever seen him before.

“No, sir,” the driver responded, “I have never seen you before.” Then he explained: “This morning’s paper had a story about you being on vacation in Marseilles. This is the taxi stand where people who return from Marseilles always arrive. Your skin color tells me you have been on vacation. The ink spot on your right index finger suggests to me that you are a writer. Your clothing is very English, and not French. Adding up all those pieces of information, I deduced that you are Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.”

“This is truly amazing!” the writer exclaimed. “You are a real-life counterpart to my fictional creation, Sherlock Holmes!”

“There is one other thing,” the driver said.

“What is that?”

“Your name is on the front of your suitcase.”

Perhaps the driver was no master detective, but he was observant. He paid attention, and paying attention is an important part of living fully -- if we pay attention to the right things.

Speaker Alan Loy McGinnis tells of a New York City sculptor named Louise. She lived in one of the most dilapidated neighborhoods of the city. But, by paying attention to her surroundings, she found endless beauty and inspiration. She marveled at the elegance in the varying patterns of the sun and the moon reflected on tenement windows. In an object as ordinary as a chair she could see something extraordinary. “The chair isn’t so hot,” she once pointed out, “but look at its shadow.” By paying attention, she was able to see what others might miss.

Paying attention to the moments and to ordinary things of life, as much as possible, is a way to happiness. Like Brené Brown says, “I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness - it's right in front of me if I'm paying attention and practicing gratitude.” What do you think you might actually see and appreciate if you were to look carefully?

• I think I might see things or people in a new way. Too often I look straight through them and take them for granted.
• I think that, if I were to pay closer attention, I may better notice the abundance in my life instead of wishing for what I don’t have.
• If I look carefully, I think I just might see how beautiful and exquisite my life really is instead of thinking someone else has it better.

I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness. I may only have to pay attention to the right things and happiness will find me.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr/paurian

Your Right to Be Wrong

A humorous story has it that a newly appointed young clergyman was contacted by a local funeral director to hold a graveside service at a small country cemetery in midwestern USA. There was to be no funeral, just a graveside service, because the deceased had no family and had outlived her friends.

The young pastor started early to the cemetery, but soon became lost. After making several wrong turns, he finally arrived a half-hour late. The hearse was nowhere in sight and cemetery workers were relaxing under a near-by tree, eating their lunch.
    
The pastor went to the open grave and found that the vault lid was already in place. He took out a prayer book and read a few paragraphs. As he returned to his car, he overheard one of the workers say, “Maybe we’d better tell him it’s a septic tank.”

Why is it we make our biggest mistakes in public? And some people can’t avoid it … former hockey goalie Jacques Plante wonders, “How would you like a job where, if you made a mistake, a big, red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?”

But we should never give up our right to be wrong. Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment. It is your right to be wrong. “No (one) ever became great or good except through many and great mistakes,” said William E. Gladstone. Great mistakes are opportunities for great learning. And great learning makes for great living.

Now, that’s something I can get into. I don’t need to be a great person, just one who believes that his life is worth living well. And if that means I need to make some magnificent mistakes along the way, I’ll take that on as part of the price to pay.

You and I have a right to be wrong. And if we are to move toward great living, we might even have a duty to make great mistakes. Sometimes we can laugh them off. Certainly we can learn from them. And always, let’s just make sure the next mistake is one we haven’t made before!

-- Steve Goodier

Image by OpenSource.com

If You Had It To Do Over

Image by Fred Fokkelman

One woman announced, “I intend to live forever! So far so good….” But the length of our lives is not the real issue; it’s the quality and meaning that matter. Not the years in a life, but the life in the years.

When asked what he wanted to be remembered for when his life was over, Leo Buscaglia replied, “I want to be remembered as somebody who lived life fully and with passion. I’ve been asked to write my epitaph and I have always thought that the perfect one for my tombstone would be, ‘Here lies Leo who died living.’”

I want to die living. And I want to be remembered as one who lived with purpose, joy and feeling. I want to spend my time learning what goes into a whole and happy life, then building that life the best I can.

Sociologist Tony Campolo told about a study in which fifty people over the age of 90 were asked to reflect upon their lives. “If you had it to do over again,” they were asked, “what would you do differently?” Though there were many answers, three responses dominated. Here they are:

1. “I would reflect more.” Do you ever feel that too much time is spent in “doing” and not enough spent thinking about what you are doing and why you are doing it? Reflection on your time and your priorities, your habits and behaviors, your attitudes and beliefs, in short, reflection on your life, will reveal to you what is truly important.
2. “I would risk more.” Have you missed important opportunities because you were afraid to take a chance? Taking more calculated risks may be the only way to make an important dream come alive.
3. “I would do more things that would live on after I died.” Are you immersed in something bigger and more enduring than your own existence? What will be your legacy?

Reflect more. Risk more. Leave a legacy. These are what our elders say they would do if ever given a second chance.

And, of course, the beauty is this: we don’t need a second chance at life to get it right. We can build a life around these values beginning today. And when it comes time for us to leave this existence, we can go with no regrets. 

-- Steve Goodier


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Don’t Read This

Flickr image by Richard Giles

Don’t read this!

I see you didn’t heed my warning. Let me try again. My advice is...DON’T READ THIS.

Are you still here? It’s not that I want you to forever stop reading these messages, but reading about how to lead a whole and fulfilling life and doing it are not the same. To do it, you might have to do something else that is increasingly difficult for many of us...walk away from your media.

I just read of a young mother who lost her cell phone and was forced to stay off of Facebook and away from texting friends for a few days. She said she actually found herself doing something she hadn’t done in a couple of years  -- interacting with her family. She felt as if she got her life back and was worried that she’d slip into the same old patterns with her new phone.

Katherine Jackson, mother of the late pop star Michael Jackson, explained this about her son: "It all really started when Michael was three or four years old. The TV broke and the kids started dancing and singing to entertain themselves. I convinced their father they were good, and after he listened to them, he agreed with me." The TV broke and, well, you know the rest of the story.

A woman lost her phone and something surprising happened. The TV broke and something historic happened. So now, if you’re still reading this (and you obviously are), let me ask a question: if you were to walk away from your media for the rest of the day, what amazing thing might happen to you?

Do you remember the story of a woman driving through the countryside who saw an astonishing sight? It was of a man standing on a ladder against an apple tree with a goat in his arms. The animal calmly ate apples from the tree while the man patiently held it up.

The curious woman stopped the car. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Feeding my goat, of course."

"Doesn't it take an awfully long time that way?"

"Heck," he said. "What's time to a goat?"

Good question: what’s time to a goat? But you’re not a goat. And chances are there is likely an electronic device at hand stealing more of your time than you can afford to lose.

If your television, computer or mobile device broke, what might get fixed? Or, put another way, if you turned OFF the media for a while, what might get turned ON?

And one more question -- this is the big one. Are you ready to find out?

-- Steve Goodier

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Three Important Things to Know

Do you know what they are?

Can you be too nice? I heard of a woman who is a hard core believer in the adage “it's nice to be important, but it's important to be nice.”  She likes to tell about when she first started to referee children's basketball games. Her grown son stopped by to watch her officiate one of her first practice games. Afterward he suggested that she be more forceful. “You know, Mom,” he said, “you don't have to say 'I'm sorry, dear, but you stepped out of bounds.'”

I think that U.S. industrialist Charles M. Schwab may have gotten it right. At age 72, Schwab was sued for a large sum of money. Many high-profile personalities would have settled out of court, but Schwab went through with it and eventually won the suit.

Before he left the witness stand, he asked permission of the court to make a statement of a personal nature. This is what he said:

“I am an old man, and I want to say that ninety percent of my troubles have been due to my being good to other people. If you younger folk want to avoid trouble, be hard-boiled and say no to everybody. You will then walk through life unmolested, but…” and here a broad smile lit up his face, “you will have to do without friends, and you won’t have much fun.”

Maybe that’s why author Henry James said, “Three things in human life are important: The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.”

What if today you gave yourself permission to be outrageously kind? What if you extended as much goodwill and kindness as you can possibly muster to every person you meet? And what if you did it with no thought of reward? I'm sure of one thing: it will be a day you will never regret.

-- Steve Goodier


Image: freeimages.com/Crystal Church

Find Some Humor

Image by Andreas Herrmann

. . . especially when life takes an unexpected turn.

I once read a story, purported to be true, of a motorist who was caught in an automated speed trap. His speed was measured by a radar machine and his car was automatically photographed. In a few days he received a ticket for $40 in the mail along with a picture of his automobile. As payment, he sent the police department a snapshot of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police. It contained another picture -- of handcuffs. He promptly paid the fine.

Who hasn't received a traffic violation? There are many ways to respond to those inevitable irritations of life, and one of the best is to find some humor. (Though he's probably fortunate the police had a sense of humor, too.)

This is one of Bill Cosby’s strategies for successful living. The comedian has known hard times, yet he once summarized his attitude this way: "You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything... you can survive it."  Like aging. He says that all things shift when we age. Even the mind. It slips from the head to the behind. There’s proof of this, he tells us. When you walk into a room to get something or to do something, you forget what you went after. You see, your mind has left. “But then you sit down and – bingo! – you remember what it was you wanted. Therefore, your mind must have slipped down to your behind.”

Growing older is a wonderful thing, especially if you're young. But what if most of your years are behind you? There are some things, like growing older, that can't be changed. And one of the best ways to respond to things that can't be changed is to find some humor.

Then there's Katie. Katie was a young woman with a great, big problem. She was a teenager dying of leukemia. Katie's mother wrote to me and told me how her daughter approached her disease. She told about a time, shortly after a bone marrow transplant, when Katie's head was “slickly bald,” as she put it. One day Katie heard the doctor coming on rounds and ducked into the bathroom. Her mother heard her giggling and asked, "Katie, what is so funny?"

She put her finger to her lips, pulled a Nike ski cap onto her head and crawled into bed. 

When the doctor came in, she said, "Well, Miss Katie! How are you feeling today?"

Katie frowned and said, "I am OK, I guess... but I just have this splitting headache." She pulled off her ski cap and there on her bald head was a huge red crack, which she had drawn with a marker. As the doctor recovered from her initial shock, the room exploded in laughter.

Katie did not survive the cancer, but she conquered depression and despair and found an authentic way to live as fully as possible her last months of life.

There are many ways to respond when life takes a serious turn, but even then, perhaps especially then, one of the best is to find some humor. “It DOES help!” Katie's mother asserted at the end of her letter.

Mark Twain says that the human race “has unquestionably one really effective weapon – laughter.” Laughing at the twists and turns of life may not be your first response, but it can be one of the best.

-- Steve Goodier

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Finding Slow Time

An American racing enthusiast entered his horse in a British steeplechase. Just before the race began, he slipped his horse a white pellet. The Duke of Marlborough, who was serving as steward, caught the owner in the act and objected. “I say, old man, really you can’t do that sort of thing over here.”    
   
“Just a harmless sugar lump,” the American assured him. He gulped one down himself. “Here, try one,” he said.
   
The duke took a pill, swallowed it, and seemed satisfied. As his jockey mounted, the American whispered in his ear, “Son, keep that horse on the outside and stay out of trouble, because once he starts running, there ain’t nothing that can catch him...except me and the Duke of Marlborough!”
   
Do you ever feel that way – running so fast that nothing can catch you? We Americans are accused of living in fast time. And I think that much of the rest of the world can relate. How often do we rush here and hurry there? Or inhale our fast food? We have “just a minute” for friends. We even use words like “running an errand.” We rely on lightning speed e-mail and speak of the old system as “snail mail.”

We live in fast time. Too often, we run so fast we lose our center. Or we lament, “I wish I could, but I don't have the time....”

How can that be? How can we live so fast and not have time?

An attorney, reflecting on his childhood, said that the greatest gift he ever received in his life was a note his father gave him on Christmas. It read, "Son, this year I will give you 365 hours. An hour every day after dinner. We'll talk about whatever you want to talk about. We'll go wherever you want to go, play whatever you want to play. It will be your hour." That dad kept his promise and renewed it every year.

I call that slow time. It's time that is not relentlessly measured by a clock. Slow time is time to be; time to experience life.

I gave my children a similar gift. I gave the gift of a breakfast out once a week. Just me and one of my sons. No agenda. No problem-solving. No scolding. Just listening. Talking about whatever he wanted to talk about. It became a time to learn about him, to laugh with him and to show him that, for the next hour or so, my time was his alone. It was the gift of slow time between a father and his son. And often it was the most important time I spent all day.
   
It's important to find enough slow time. For in the end, it’s not how fast you and I live our lives that matters, or how much we accomplish in a day. Are you taking time to enjoy? Is there time to listen to a friend or visit a relative in need? Are you leaving time each day to nurture your soul?

Are you finding slow time? After all, if life is a race, the winners are not those who run fastest, but rather those who run well. It takes plenty of slow time to run well.

– Steve Goodier


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Walking Through Life

 

Image by M Nota

An unusual thing happened to me a few years ago. I spoke casually with a woman who served tables at a restaurant I frequented. We knew each other by first name only, but usually chatted for a few minutes each time I dined there.

One day, she asked me, “Do you have a son about eight years old?”

'What has he done?' I thought. I nodded yes.

She pressed on. “Does he play soccer?”

When I said that he did, she asked if he played in a game the previous week at a particular field. Again, I answered, “Yes.”

“I thought so,” she smiled. “I saw him and thought he must be your son.”

Since there were tens of thousands of young boys in the city, I was amazed and exclaimed, “I didn't know he looked that much like me!”

“Oh, I didn't see his face,” she said smiling as if she were keeping a secret.

“Then how did you know he was my son?” Now I was puzzled.

“I was just sitting in the car, and I saw a little boy in a baseball cap walking across the field to join his team. He walks like you.”

Walks like me? Now I was curious. How do I walk? Since I'm doing the walking, I don't notice how I look to others. Maybe I could watch him amble around to get an idea.

That said, how we walk down a street and how we walk through life are very different things. Perhaps I can't help how I walk down a street, but I want to be intentional about how I walk through life.

Through life, I want to walk gently. I want to treat all of life – the earth and its people – with reverence. I want to remove my shoes in the presence of holy ground. As much as possible, I want to walk in peace.

I want to walk lightly, even joyfully, through whatever days I am given. I want to laugh easily. I want to step carefully in and out of people's lives and relationships. I don't want to tread any heavier than necessary.

And throughout life, I think I would like to walk with more humility and less anger, more love and less fear. I want to walk confidently, but without arrogance. I want to walk in deep appreciation. I want to be genuinely thankful for life's extravagant, yet simple, gifts – a star-splattered night sky or a hot drink on an ice-cold day.

If life is a journey, then how I make that journey is important. How I walk through life.

But still I wonder how I look when I walk down a street.

– Steve Goodier

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Every Problem Has a Gift

Image by krosseel

Writer Richard Bach says, “Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.” I don't always see that gift, I admit. But I remember reading about Glenn Cunningham when I was a child. His life bore the truth of it...every problem indeed has a gift for you. The trick is learning to find it.

In 1916 young Glenn and his brother Floyd were involved in a tragic accident.  Their school's pot-bellied stove exploded when the boys struck a match to light it. Somebody had mistakenly filled the can with gasoline instead of kerosene. Both boys were severely burned and had to be dragged from the schoolhouse. Floyd died of his injuries and doctors predicted that Glenn would be permanently crippled. Flesh and muscles were seared from both of Glenn's legs. His toes were burned off of his left foot and the foot's transverse arch was destroyed. Their local doctor recommended amputation of both legs and predicted that Glenn would never walk again. He told the boy's mother that it may have been better had he died. 

Glenn overheard the remark and decided that day that he WAS going to walk, no matter what. But he couldn't climb from a wheelchair for two years. Then one day he grasped the white wooden pickets of the fence surrounding his home and pulled himself up to his feet. Painfully he stepped, hanging onto the fence. He made his way along the fence, back and forth. He did this the next day and next – every day for weeks. He wore a path along the fence shuffling sideways. But muscles began to knit and grow in his scarred legs and feet.

When Glenn could finally walk he decided he would do something else nobody ever expected him to do again – he would learn to run. “It hurt like thunder to walk,” Glenn later said, “but it didn't hurt at all when I ran. So for five or six years, about all I did was run.” At first it looked more like hopping than running. But Glenn ran everywhere he could. He ran around the home. He ran as he did his chores. He ran to and from school (about two miles each way). He never walked when he could run. And after his legs strengthened he continued to run, not because he had to, but now because he wanted to.

If there was a gift in the tragic accident, it was that if forced Glenn to run. And run he did. He competed as a runner in high school and college. Then Glenn went on to compete in the 1932 and 1936 Olympics. He set world records for the mile run in 1934 and 1938. By the time he retired from competition, Glenn amassed a mountain of records and awards.

“Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.” And if not every problem, then just about every one. Even spectacular sunsets are not possible without cloudy skies. Troubles bring a gift for those who choose to look. And since I can't avoid my problems, why waste them? I should look for the gift. My life will be far, far richer for finding it.

– Steve Goodier

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Fragile: Handle with Care

I once clipped a strange story from the newspaper. It was about a man named Jose Estrada who drove to a popular trail where he like to jog. While Estrada was running, another jogger on the same trail collapsed and died of a heart attack. The man's body was taken to a nearby hospital where authorities found a car key in his pocket, but no identification. 

Assuming they would be able to find the name of the deceased man in his automobile registration papers, they brought the key back to a parking lot near the jogging trail. They figured that if they tried the key in various locked doors of cars parked by the trail, they might eventually find his car and learn who he was. So they experimented until they were able to open the doors of one of the vehicles. 

Now, here's where the story gets strange. The key opened the door of Estrada's pickup truck. They examined Estrada's registration papers and notified his wife of her husband's untimely death. They asked her to come to the hospital and identify his body.

And here is where the story gets stranger still. Mrs. Estrada saw the body on the table with a tube snaking from his mouth, his eyes taped shut and wearing jogging clothing much like her husband wore. In her distraught condition she assumed the body belonged to Jose and signed the death certificate.
   
Meanwhile, Jose Estrada finished running, drove back home and promptly learned from a friend, who was more than stunned to encounter him in the flesh, that he was supposed to be dead. He immediately sped to the hospital and strode, as big as life, into the waiting room. His startled wife fell into his arms laughing and crying. The only thing she managed to spurt out was, “Jose, if you ever die on me again, I'll kill you myself.” After all, he was dead and then he was alive... he was lost and then he was found. All in a single day. 

Eventually, the poor deceased man was properly identified and his family contacted. For this man's family, as well as for Estrada's wife, I wonder what thoughts first surfaced when they received news of the untimely death. Did they try to recall their last moments with him? Did they try to remember if they told him they loved him that morning? Was there an argument? Were there regrets?

How fragile life can be. I suspect that, if life came in a package, it would arrive in a box labeled, “Fragile: Handle with Care.” It is delicate and can be damaged in a moment. And I also suspect that, if life came in a package, it would arrive as a gift. It is undeserved and priceless. Which of us earned it and who could ever afford it?

My challenge is to remember that life is fragile. And it is an awesome gift. But what I want to remember most of all is that the people in my life, these beautiful gifts, are also fragile. And they, especially, need to be handled with care.

– Steve Goodier

Image: freeimages.com/Jane M. Sawyer

A Hole in the World

Do you remember the Eagle's song “Hole in the World”? It begins like this:

There's a hole in the world tonight.
There's a cloud of fear and sorrow.
There's a hole in the world tonight.
Don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow.
[Music and lyrics by Don Henley and Glenn Frey]

I am an optimist and constantly look for the best. But it does seem, at least at times, that there is a hole in the world.

We live in a day of almost unrestrained violence. Children can be snatched from homes and slain at school. Bombs and missiles are exploded in public places. There is war and there are rumors of war. No community, no race, no nation is immune to nor protected from a growing culture of violence. It's as if there is a hole in the world. Now, more than ever, we need to learn a different way, for the path we're following leads to a dark and dangerous wilderness.

I like the way of Azim Khamisa and Ples Felix, two men who experienced first hand a cloud of fear and sorrow. One deadly evening in 1995, 14-year-old Tony Hicks shot and killed a 20-year-old college student and pizza deliveryman in San Diego, California. Tony and several other gang members ordered pizza and, when it was delivered, Tony was told by his gang to shoot the young man who delivered the food, Tariq Khamisa.

Tariq's father Azim was enraged at the senseless killing. "There's something really wrong with a society where kids kill kids," he spat. He was angry with the kids, but he was even more upset with a culture that breeds so much violence.

Shortly after his son's death, Azim heard from a gentleman named Ples Felix. Ples was Tony Hick's grandfather and guardian. Azim invited Ples to his home and the two men shared their mutual grief and heartache. But it didn't stop there -- they also decided to do something. "I realized that change had to start with me," Azim reasoned. Therefore, though he may have wanted revenge, the grieving father chose a different way to respond to his son's death.

What happened? The victim's father toured the United States with the killer's grandfather. The two men visited schools with a message of nonviolence. They told the story of Tariq and Tony -- one child dead and the other in prison. And in a growing worldwide culture of violence, these two men of peace changed lives. They warmed hearts and stimulated minds of countless young people. They showed us all there is a different way to live.

David Orr, college professor and author, talks about this different way of living. “The plain fact is that the planet does not need more successful people,” he says. “But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places.”

I like that...the world needs “people who live well in their places.” People like Azim Khamisa and Ples Felix.

I want to be one of those people. So I will choose a different way. I will choose to be a peacemaker, a healer and a life-bringer. To the best of my ability, I will try to live well in my place.

Because I believe there does not have to be a hole in the world tomorrow.

-- Steve Goodier

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