Reason to Smile

Comedian George Burns said that he was advised: “Let a smile be your umbrella.” He said, “I tried that once. I had pneumonia for six weeks and shrunk a $450 suit.”

All right. Maybe it won’t keep you dry in the rain, but there are other good reasons to smile. It’s said that it requires more muscles to frown than to smile, and who wants to overwork their facial muscles? Smiling also puts others at ease and helps establish instant rapport. And if that isn’t enough, when you smile it releases endorphins in your brain and gives you a feeling of well-being and contentment. So if you smile when you don’t feel like it, you’ll soon be smiling just because it feels so good.

Here are a few more reasons to smile:

• Smiling is a universal language that everyone knows.
• People will enjoy being around you when you smile.
• Smiling reduces stress, which may improve your overall health.
• Smiling will change the sound qualities of your voice when you speak or sing.
• A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive it, without making poorer those who give.
• When you smile at a stranger, you just might change a life.
• It takes only a moment, but the memory of it lingers far after the moment has passed.
• A smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away.
• And finally, some people are too emotionally drained to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as no one needs a smile so much as one who has no more to give.

Why not give out a few extra smiles today – and be prepared to get some back.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Tim Zim

Joy Along the Way

A senator once took Will Rogers to the White House to meet President Coolidge. He warned the humorist that Coolidge never smiled. Rogers replied, “I’ll make him smile.” 

Inside the Oval Office, the senator introduced the two men. “Will Rogers,” he said, “I’d like you to meet President Coolidge.” 

Deadpan, Rogers quipped, “I’m sorry, but I didn’t catch the name.” Coolidge smiled. 

Blues musician Corky Siegel says,  “Life is too important to take seriously.” 

A sense of humor is essential. It is one of the most important means we possess to face the difficulties of life. And sometimes life can be difficult indeed.  

I see people every day with big problems: relationships breaking apart, unemployment, serious illness. Not a week goes by when I haven’t talked with someone agonizing with a suffering friend, or people who are addicted or in deep grief. Without a sense of humor about my own life, I don’t know if I could survive. I take what I do seriously, but I try not to take myself too seriously. Like the New York City cab driver who said, “It’s not the work that I enjoy so much, but the people I run into!” 

Here is an experiment: look for and find as much joy as possible for one full day. Try to enjoy the people you run into, the work you do, your leisure time and your relationships. Don’t forget to enjoy yourself – and take enough time to enjoy God. Try this experiment for one full day, and by evening you may be amazed to find yourself basking in the glow of a rekindled spirit. 

It just takes a day to find joy along the way.

-- Steve Goodier

All the Joy You Need

Thirteenth Century priest Thomas Aquinas once said, “No one can live without joy.” But many people do live joyless lives. And the reason is often simply because they don’t know how to be happy. They are so intent on the three P’s – power, prosperity and prestige – that they miss out on simple joy.

French photographer Henri Cartier-Bresson pioneered modern photography as an art form during the early decades of the 20th Century. He was a master of candid photography and something of a genius at spotting and photographing apparent contradictions: pictures that left mysteries unexplained.

One of his famous photographs was shot in a poor section of Seville, Spain in 1933. The picture depicts a run-down alley surrounded by decaying walls, strewn with rubble and riddled with bullet holes dotting gray walls. The setting alone evokes feelings of sadness and despair.

But then...the contradiction. Within the grim alley children are playing. They wear dirty and tattered clothes, as one might expect in such a setting, but like playing children everywhere, they laugh with carefree joy. In the foreground, a tiny boy on crutches hobbles away from two other boys, his face lit up with a broad grin. One boy is laughing so hard he has to hold his side. Others lean on the cracked walls, beaming with delight.

It is easy to spot the contrast – and the point. Joy amid the rubble of life. Laughter among life’s ruins.

We cannot avoid pain, however hard we try. But we can avoid joy. We cannot escape hardship and trouble, but we can miss out on much of life's peace and laughter.

If you feel as if you could use more joy, here are a few tips:

• Do something today just for the fun of it.
• Decide to fill your thoughts with less anxiety and more peace.
• Laugh a little more. A little more heartily and a little more often.
• Practice a hopeful attitude.
• Love as much as you can. Love people. Love experiences. Love ideas. Love beauty. In short -- love life.

You may occasionally find yourself amid life’s rubble. But strangely - even there you can discover joy. 

It’s one of the beautiful contradictions of life.

--  Steve Goodier

Image: copyright by Henri Cartier-Bresson | Fair Use

How Happy Do You Want to Be?

Do you remember the story of the two men who were walking through a pasture and spotted an enraged bull? They instantly darted toward the nearest fence. The storming bull followed in hot pursuit and it was soon apparent they wouldn't make it in time. Terrified, one shouted to the other, "Can you pray, John? We're not going to make it!"

John answered, "I don’t know how to pray."

"You have to!" panted his companion. "The bull is catching up to us."

"All right," agreed John, Then he prayed the only prayer he knew, one he had heard his father pray often at the dinner table: 'O Lord, for what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'"

Not a bad prayer, actually, at least in other circumstances. And not a bad attitude about life. But even as important as being truly thankful, it is necessary to act truly thankful.

Italian actor, director, singer-songwriter and poet Roberto Benigni believes in the importance of acting thankful. Benigni won the 1998 Academy Award for best actor for his performance in the film "Life Is Beautiful." In his joy at receiving the honor, he actually danced over the tops of chairs and leaped up on stage, applauding the audience. The effusive Benigni believes that it's a sign of mediocrity when one demonstrates gratitude with moderation. And he is anything but moderate when showing gratitude.

How are you at showing your gratitude? Most of us are not as demonstrative as Benigni, but acting truly thankful can actually help us feel more grateful. 

William Arthur Ward said, “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” Who would wrap a present and not give it? And once the present is given, how do you feel? The truth is...the more we express our gratitude, the happier we are. For it isn’t happiness that makes us grateful, but gratitude that makes us happy. 

How happy do you want to be?

-- Steve Goodier

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"Thank You!" by Moeez - Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons.

The Word Is…

 

Image by Lauren Manning

I heard a funny story of an ancient monastery charged with copying old books and scrolls for the faith.

One day, Father Florian, who headed the work of the scriptorium, was asked by a new monk: “Does not the copying by hand of other copies allow for chances of error? How do we know we are not copying the mistakes of someone else? Are they ever checked against the originals?”

“A very good point,” Father Florian agreed. “I will take one of the latest books down to the vault and compare it to the original.”

After a day had passed and the priest had not returned, the monks began to worry. When they went to the vault, they found him weeping over an ancient manuscript.

“What is the problem, Father?” asked one of the monks.

“A mistake,” he sobbed. “The word was supposed to be ‘celebrate!’”

We can be assured that “celibate” was never confused with “celebrate,” but “celebrate” is a word we may need to hear more often.

Is there plenty of celebration in your life? How about your spiritual life? Is it an exercise in following rules and practices? Or does it look more like a joyous celebration?

Not that we can be, or ought to be, happy all the time. Life isn’t like that. There is, after all, a time for laughter and a time for tears. And besides, there is much growth in pain. But “celebrate” is one of those great words that resides at the heart of a vibrant life. For the truth is…the more we celebrate, the more we find to celebrate. And the more we find to celebrate, the more fully we live.

So, as William Arthur Ward exhorts:

"Celebrate your life joyfully;
Celebrate yourself humbly;
Celebrate your blessings gratefully."

When it comes to full and abundant living, the monk got it right. The word is “CELEBRATE.”

-- Steve Goodier

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A Miracle Morning

I stumbled out the door of a mountain cabin where I was spending the weekend working with youth and their families at a rustic resort center. I had a 6:30 AM appointment to keep and squinted from the early autumn sun peeking over pine-blanketed mountaintops.
   
I was started by a voice behind me. “Today is a miracle!” I turned to find one of the teenagers following behind.
   
“How?” I asked her. It looked like it might be pleasantly warm later in the day. Otherwise, fairly ordinary. The word “miracle” seemed like an overstatement. Anyway, I wasn’t sure if I could handle much excitement this early in the morning.
   
“Think about it,” she smiled. “The sun rose, didn’t it?”
   
“Yeah.” I found it easy to hide any enthusiasm. It seemed to rise on every other morning without my getting involved.
   
“That’s a miracle! It is miraculous that the earth turns as it does. At night, the sun goes down and in the morning it rises. It just happens!”
   
I pretty much already had this figured out. I rubbed sleep from my eyes. I was also busy thinking about how to get a cup of coffee.
   
“And look at the mountains! Covered with trees and grass, they look so beautiful. And there,” she pointed, “a valley. It’s incredible.”
   
Was she always this perky? And shouldn't there be a rule against perkiness this early in the morning? Especially before coffee?
   
“Did you notice the wildflowers?” she continued. “It all smells so fresh and clean and so good.” She took a deep breath and I thought I might have caught a sparkle in her eyes. Though it may have also been a trick of the light. “All of nature receives water and sunlight and everything it needs. Things grow and blossom – it really is lovely.”

Now I started to worry. I thought I was actually coming around. Well, a little bit, anyway. Is perkiness contagious? I felt something stirring inside. Up until then I thought this was just an ordinary morning in the mountains. I didn't know what spell she was secretly weaving, but she had a point. It really was beautiful, even if there was nothing magic about it. 

Then, with a smile that gave her pronouncement a note of finality, she said, “And best of all, it will happen again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next!” Then she sighed. “See? It's a miracle morning.”

In her poem “Aurora Leigh,” Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote:

    Earth's crammed with heaven,
    And every common bush afire with God:
    But only he who sees, takes off his shoes,
    The rest sit round it, and pluck blackberries...

Along the early morning path, my friend had removed her shoes. For her, earth was “crammed with heaven” and “every bush afire.” It wasn't just perkiness; she had eyes to see what I had completely missed. I was, as Browning might say, sitting around plucking blackberries.

I haven't seen that young woman for many years. She's grown up now. Maybe she has a family of her own. She's no doubt seen a good measure of heartache and trouble – who hasn't? But I would be surprised if she isn't basically a happy and contented person. Why? Because she discovered a valuable secret about happiness – she learned to find wonder in commonplace things and to feel gratitude for the ordinary. And life is nothing if not filled with the commonplace and ordinary.

After all, if a single morning can hold so much wonder for her, then a lifetime of mornings, not to mention evenings and everything in between, should keep her going through whatever life throws her way.

-- Steve Goodier

Image by Michel Mayerle

Walking Through Life

 

Image by M Nota

An unusual thing happened to me a few years ago. I spoke casually with a woman who served tables at a restaurant I frequented. We knew each other by first name only, but usually chatted for a few minutes each time I dined there.

One day, she asked me, “Do you have a son about eight years old?”

'What has he done?' I thought. I nodded yes.

She pressed on. “Does he play soccer?”

When I said that he did, she asked if he played in a game the previous week at a particular field. Again, I answered, “Yes.”

“I thought so,” she smiled. “I saw him and thought he must be your son.”

Since there were tens of thousands of young boys in the city, I was amazed and exclaimed, “I didn't know he looked that much like me!”

“Oh, I didn't see his face,” she said smiling as if she were keeping a secret.

“Then how did you know he was my son?” Now I was puzzled.

“I was just sitting in the car, and I saw a little boy in a baseball cap walking across the field to join his team. He walks like you.”

Walks like me? Now I was curious. How do I walk? Since I'm doing the walking, I don't notice how I look to others. Maybe I could watch him amble around to get an idea.

That said, how we walk down a street and how we walk through life are very different things. Perhaps I can't help how I walk down a street, but I want to be intentional about how I walk through life.

Through life, I want to walk gently. I want to treat all of life – the earth and its people – with reverence. I want to remove my shoes in the presence of holy ground. As much as possible, I want to walk in peace.

I want to walk lightly, even joyfully, through whatever days I am given. I want to laugh easily. I want to step carefully in and out of people's lives and relationships. I don't want to tread any heavier than necessary.

And throughout life, I think I would like to walk with more humility and less anger, more love and less fear. I want to walk confidently, but without arrogance. I want to walk in deep appreciation. I want to be genuinely thankful for life's extravagant, yet simple, gifts – a star-splattered night sky or a hot drink on an ice-cold day.

If life is a journey, then how I make that journey is important. How I walk through life.

But still I wonder how I look when I walk down a street.

– Steve Goodier

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An Incredible Feeling

Photo by Gary Scott

Newscaster Paul Harvey once told about a woman who called the Butterball Turkey Company and said that she had a turkey that had been in her freezer for 23 years. She asked if it was still any good. She was told that if her freezer was at least zero degrees Fahrenheit, then the turkey was probably safe enough to eat. But they wouldn’t recommend that she eat it. The flavor would have deteriorated considerably. She said, “That’s what we thought. I guess we’ll just give it to the church.”
   
I suppose there are many reasons we choose to give. But people who enjoy sharing with others the most do not share simply because they have a need to get rid of something. Those who find the greatest joy from giving have learned to give from a deeper place; they give from their hearts.
   
Santa Claus is becoming a universal symbol of giving. Millions of children write letters to Santa each year in hopes that they won’t be forgotten during his annual giving spree. Did you know that the US Post Office actually found ways to answer those letters to Santa Claus? They used to just stick them in the so-called dead letter box. But now some cities have programs that allow people to sort through these hand-written pleas, hopes and wishes and become “Santas” to others in need. They choose a letter and respond however they can. Most anyone can play Santa.
   
One letter that might have been discarded a few years ago, but was picked up by a volunteer Santa Claus, came from a boy named Donny. He wrote that he wanted a bike for Christmas and “some food and what I really need is love.”
   
Another volunteer Santa latched onto a letter from a young mother who wrote, “I lost my job...and I cannot afford to give my two children the things they need for the winter months.” That generous spirit helped with some necessities for the children.
   
“I like to go to their home on Christmas Eve,” one joyful Santa said. One year he bought presents for four children and a ham for their mother. Then he added this poignant observation: “The feeling you get is just incredible.”
   
I admit it – I don't always get that feeling when I give. But then I don't always give out of untainted motivations. Sometimes I give from other places. Sometimes I give out of social obligation or out of guilt. Or I give with an expectation for receiving back. But I give best when I give from that deeper place; when I give simply, freely and generously, and sometimes for no particular reason. I give best when I give from my heart.

And isn't it true? Opportunities to give from the heart are not limited to a particular holiday season or cultural tradition. Whether we give food, money, an hour of time or a hug, we can give it sincerely and joyously.

But let me offer a word of caution. If you choose to give from your heart, be careful. The most incredible feeling might just overwhelm you. And if you continue in this behavior, that feeling may become permanent.

-- Steve Goodier

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How Is It with Your Soul?

Image courtesy of Jmdodge

I meet regularly with a few friends and we ask one another an important question. We ask, “How is it with your soul?” In other words, at the core of your being ... what is going on? We ask the question every time we meet for lunch because we have promised to “watch over one another in love.”
 
The question actually comes from the 18th Century Anglican priest and leader of the Methodist movement, John Wesley. And the hour or two we spend together every month has become one of the most important times of our lives.
 
How is it with your soul? That is a vital question. With other people I may ask, “How are you doing?” “How is everything going?” Or, “What’s happening?” But when I’m with these four men, we try to be as honest as we can and tell each other what is really going on. How is it with your soul? It's a bigger question than, "How are you feeling?" It includes body, mind, spirit, relationships -- everything.
 
I love that question. It reminds me to check in with myself from time to time. And I appreciate that there are a few other people that really want to know.
 
So let me ask you -- how is it with your soul? And how would you answer these related questions?
 
1. Do you take time to FEED your soul?
 
Human beings need nourishment beyond the physical. I'm told that a hummingbird flaps its wings some 50-80 times a second. It must eat constantly to work that hard. It takes tremendous energy simply to live. We, too, must feed our minds and spirits as well as our bodies if we intend to be fully healthy. It may include prayer or meditation or the practice of other spiritual disciplines. Or taking classes and reading uplifting books. Or contacting an old friend. Without constant nourishment, our bodies, minds, spirits and even our relationships will grow weak and listless.
 
2. Do you REST your soul?
 
In our multi-tasking lives, sometimes the best thing we can do is to do nothing. I occasionally like nothing better than sitting quietly, listening to soft music and letting my soul be at peace. Charles Darwin said, "If I had my life to live over again, I would have made a rule to read some poetry and listen to some music at least once a week." What rests your soul?
 
3. How do you CHEER your soul?
 
One of the greatest gifts you have been given is a gift of laughter. And it is a gift we can never use enough. My own experience is that when I feel down, disheartened and discouraged, the cause is not because of too much suffering; it is because of too little joy. Where I find joy, I find life.
 
So, how did you do with those questions? This may be a good time to check in with yourself.  Make sure you ask the big question: how it is with your soul?
 
Then listen carefully. Your soul may have something significant to tell you.
 
-- Steve Goodier


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Dancing in the Rain

 "The pharmacist just insulted me," a woman sobbed to her irate husband. He snatched the phone from her hand.

“I’m sorry to upset her,” the pharmacist said, “but put yourself in my shoes. First, my alarm didn't go off and I overslept. I rushed out and locked both my house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get them. On the way to the pharmacy I got a speeding ticket. When I finally arrived late, there was a long line and the phone was ringing. I bent over to pick up a roll of nickels, I cracked my head on a drawer and fell backward, shattering the perfume case. Meanwhile, the phone was still ringing. I picked up and your wife asked me how to use a rectal thermometer. I swear, all I did was tell her.”

Have you ever had a day like that? One man likes to say, “My life is filled with mountaintop experiences. One day, I'm on top of the mountain. The next day the mountain is on top of me.” Those kinds of mountaintop experiences are hard to take.

There will always be times when the mountain is on top. Or, in the words of Charles Tindley, times “when the storms of life are raging.” When that is the case, what do you do? One wise sage gives us a clue:

“Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.”

I have spent too much time just waiting for one kind of storm or another to pass. “When things change…” “When everything settles down…” “When it gets easier…” “When…” Well, you get the idea.

A few years ago, someone stole my wife’s purse. That was a storm we didn’t see coming. For days she was hassled with replacing lost credit cards and identification. And though it wasn’t a crisis, it was still an aggravation.

As she went about the process of trying to protect her identity from theft and replacing the contents of her purse, I recalled the words of author Matthew Henry, an 18th Century English clergyman. Henry, too, was robbed. Yet he approached his problem differently than I. Unbelievably, his predominant feeling was not anger, but gratitude. What he said was, “I give thanks that I have never been robbed before; that although he took my wallet, he did not take my life; that although he took everything, it was not much; and finally, that it was I who was robbed and not I who robbed.”

No self pity there. He was robbed and came away feeling gratitude for his life. Here was a man who learned something I had not yet figured out – to dance in the rain.

I’ve found that, over the years, there is plenty of rain, and much of my life has been about waiting for the storms of life to pass. So next time it rains, I’m going to dance. 

-- Steve Goodier

 
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The Road to Happiness

Image by Julien Sanine

I understand that two women were studying a painting titled “The Road to Happiness.” The scene was warm and compelling. “Isn’t that beautiful?” one of the women said to her friend.

But the other looked despondent. "Of course it's beautiful. The only problem is… there is no such road."

No road to happiness. And I suspect she may be right, in part, anyway. There is no one path that, if we just follow, we will be sure to arrive at happiness. But that doesn’t mean there are not various roads to greater happiness. And one path is really quite simple: to stop thinking that happiness as a state of being somewhere in the future. If we can’t be happy now, can we be happy later?

Writer Barbara DeAngelis, in her audio-book Real Moments, says this about happiness: “Although when we say, 'I want to be happy' we are usually projecting ourselves into the future, happiness, by definition, can only be found now, in this moment.”

Forget about being happy later, she says, happiness right here and right now is all there really is.

She continues, "If you can't be happy now with what you have and who you are, you will not be happy when you get what you think you want. If you don't know how to fully enjoy $500, you won't enjoy $5,000 or $500,000. If you can't fully enjoy taking a walk around the block with your mate, then you won't enjoy going to Hawaii or Paris. I'm not saying that having more money or more recreation won't make your life easier. It will. But it won't make you happier because it can't."

And we don’t have to take her word for it. The Dalai Lama (The Art of Happiness), who has made a study of these things, puts it this way: “We don't need more money, we don't need greater success or fame, we don't need the perfect body or even the perfect mate - right now, at this very moment, we have a mind, which is all the basic equipment we need to achieve complete happiness.”

So we all have, at this very moment, the basic equipment we need to achieve happiness. That means there really IS a road to happiness – and you and I are on it. In fact, we’ve ALWAYS been on it. Is there a reason we can’t be happy now?

Let me ask you a question. I know it sounds a bit morbid. But, could you be happy right now if you knew you were to be hanged in a few days, or even a few hours? What is much worse than that? As bad as things have ever gotten for me, they’ve never risen to that level of fear and uncertainty. But the question is not just theoretical. It was real for Dietrich Bonheoffer in 1944.

Arrested as part of a plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler, the German pastor and theologian languished in a Gestapo prison awaiting his execution. In his last letter to his fiancée, just hours before his execution, Bonheoffer writes about his love for her – and about happiness.

“You must not think I am unhappy. What is happiness and unhappiness? It depends so little on the circumstances. It depends really only on that which happens inside a person. I am grateful every day that I have you, and that makes me happy.”

And that’s it, isn’t it? Happiness depends little on circumstances and a lot about what’s going on inside of us. We have the basic equipment needed to be contented and at peace now. Whether we recognize it or not, we are already on the road to happiness.

 I wonder … can we ever just pause in our pursuit of happiness long enough to be happy? I think it’s worth a try.

-- Steve Goodier

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The Gift of Music

“Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees.

Time can break your heart, have you begging please.

Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure,

And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven.”

These lyrics were penned in response to tragedy, when guitarist Eric Clapton’s son Conor fell to his death from a New York high-rise window. The music helped him heal.

In 1994 the city of Sarajevo was daily under siege. Mortars and artillery fire instantly transformed once beautiful buildings into rubble. Sarajevo’s citizens were frightened, weary and increasingly despondent. Then, one February day, a mortar shell exploded in the market killing 68 civilians. Many more were wounded and maimed from the blast.

A cellist with the Sarajevo symphony could no longer stand the chaos. He took his cello to the market, sat down amidst the rubble and played a concert. When he finished, he simply took up his instrument and left.

Every day, for 67 days, he came to the market. Every day he played a concert. It was his gift to the city. He did it because he felt his community must find a way to survive, and music can bring hope.

Music is a great gift. When I need to start my day in the right frame of mind, sometimes I’ll sing. Music aligns my thoughts and emotions; my mind and spirit. When I awake in the middle of the night, I go back to sleep best if I sing in my head. Music calms and centers. When I find myself experiencing a moment of happiness, I’ll sometimes sing out loud. (It works best when others are not present.) Music expresses joy like nothing else can.

One of the greatest cellists of all time was Pablo Casals. He exiled himself from his native Spain during the regime of Francisco Franco and became a world citizen and a great humanitarian. Casals passionately desired that the world exist in peace and harmony. He said once that if all the orchestras in the world were to play Beethoven's 9th Symphony simultaneously, then peace would come to the world.

I wonder if that is true. But if not peace, then perhaps joy might come. Or hope. Or healing.

It’s the gift of music.

-- Steve Goodier

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A Way to Find Enjoyment

At one time, Bangkok television aired the American situation comedy LaVerne and Shirley. For whatever reason, officials there believed that a disclaimer was necessary for the Thailand audience, so this subtitle was added to each show: “The two women depicted in the following episode are from an insane asylum.”

Personally, I’m thankful there is a little silliness in the world. And I don’t mind not acting like everybody else. Like the “irrepressible” educator and speaker Leo Buscaglia once said: “I don’t mind if people think I’m crazy. In fact, I think it’s great! It gives me tremendous latitude for behavior.”

Buscaglia knew how to laugh. And I think knowing how to laugh and have fun is an important part of living.

Someone asked me what I do for fun. I felt I should answer with something others enjoy, like golf or skiing. But my idea of fun is not usually associated with entertainment and recreation. It is more about squeezing as much enjoyment into every day as I can. Instead of looking for something fun to do, I try to make whatever I do a little more fun. And if I can’t always do things I enjoy, I can learn to enjoy more of the things I do.

I like the word “enjoyment” because it has “joy” inside of it. So does the word “rejoice.” And rejoicing is a way to find enjoyment of life.

Speaking of Leo Buscaglia, he used to tell a story about his mother and their "misery dinner." It was the night after his father came home and said it looked as if he would have to go into bankruptcy because his partner had absconded with their firm's funds. His mother’s response was to sell some of her jewelry to buy food enough for a grand feast. At first, other members of the family scolded her for it. But she told them that "the time for joy is now, when we need it most, not next week." They learned to appreciate the hopeful attitude that lifted them out of fear and into joy.

I want to learn to be happy even in those difficult and trying times. I won’t be happy FOR them (who likes problems?), just IN them. I need the soothing medicine of laughter when it hurts. I want to learn that the time for joy is now, when I need it most.

Maybe it sounds silly, but I want to learn to rejoice in all things. And If I’m doing that well, it really doesn’t matter what I like to do for fun.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: Freeimages.com/T. Rolf

Following Your Bliss

Who was it that said, “Follow your dream – unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill…”?

Author Joseph Campbell’s advice was to “follow your bliss.” American painter Grandma Moses did that. She actually started painting at age 76, after arthritis forced her to give up embroidery. “If I hadn't started painting, I would have raised chickens,” she once said.

And I heard of a bus driver in Chicago who followed his bliss with some surprising results. He sings while he drives. That’s right... sings. And I don’t mean he sings softly to himself, either. He sings so that the whole bus can hear. All day long he drives and sings.

He was once interviewed on Chicago television. He said that he is not actually a bus driver. “I’m a professional singer,” he asserted. “I only drive the bus to get a captive audience every single day.”

His “bliss” is not driving a bus, though that may be a source of enjoyment for some people. His bliss is singing. And the supervisors at the Chicago Transit Authority are perfectly happy about the whole arrangement. People actually let other buses pass by so they can ride with the “singing bus driver.” They love it.

Here is a man who believes he knows why he was put here on earth. For him, it is to make people happy. And the more he sings, the more people he makes happy. He has found a way to align his purpose in living with his occupation. By following his bliss, he is actually living the kind of life he believes he was meant to live.

Are you following your bliss? When you do, you may discover that you are experiencing the kind of life you feel you were meant to live. And what’s more, you will be happy.

-- Steve Goodier

Image by Kevin Zolkiewicz

Early to Bed

I know one man who says he likes work. It fascinates him. He says he can sit and watch it for hours.

He was probably the same guy who went to his supervisor to ask for a raise.

“I am already planning on giving you a raise,” she said.

“Oh, great!” he said. “When will it be effective?”

“As soon as you are!” shouted the boss. (Do you know that man?)

Someone said, "Find a job that you love, and you'll never work a day in your life."

Some people are fortunate enough to be able to find a job they love. But not everyone can follow their bliss into the marketplace. I’ve had jobs where my motto was closer to “Early to bed and early to rise, ‘till you make enough money to do otherwise.” I had to decide to at least try to like what I do, since I did not find myself doing what I liked.

There are benefits to learning to enjoy at least parts of what we do if we can’t do what we love. It stands to reason that the more pleasure we find in our work, the more effective and successful we will become. And usually we will make more money. But mainly, who wants to spend a life dreading to climb out of the bed every morning only to spend the rest of the day watching the clock tick off endless minutes and hours?

Can you concentrate more on the aspects of your work that you enjoy? Can you find ways to develop nurturing relationships in your workplace? Can you remember why you are working: to educate your children or to save for retirement? Can you see yourself less as chipping stones and more as building a temple…in other words, can you see the big picture of what you do all day? Are there ways you can serve others in your work environment? All of these techniques and others can help you to learn to find more enjoyment at work.

It was the mystic Kahil Gibran who put it this way: “Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love, but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and ask for alms of those who work with joy.”

If you can’t do what you love ALL of the time, can you learn to enjoy what you do MORE of the time?

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Carlos Rodrigo

Bluebird of Happiness

A sign in a pet store read, “If anybody has seen the Bluebird of Happiness, would you please notify this pet store?”

Happiness seems to be in short supply for many people. If the results of recent surveys can be trusted, there is a general decline of happiness in to­day’s world. And people were not all that cheerful a few years back! It was Oliver Wendell Holmes who stated, “I might have been a minister for aught I know, if a certain clergyman had not looked and talked like an undertaker.” (I have to say, though, that some clergy and undertakers I’ve known could teach the rest of us something about joy.)

Joy and happiness are not always the same things. Happiness can be thought of as more of a temporary, emotional condition, often based on outside circumstances. Joy, on the other hand, is deeper. It is often contentment in spite of the unsettling present. We can be basically joyful, re­gardless of a particular unhappy situation that we may be endur­ing. It is sometimes just a matter of keeping per­spective on our troubles, and especially when those troubles seem to be in long supply.

You may know the story of the man who had a marvelous way of keeping joy in his life. He was a carpenter. He followed the same ritual every day when he came home from the job. He stopped by a small tree in his front yard and placed his hand on a couple of branches. Then, when he walked into his home, it was as if a magical transformation had oc­curred. All of a sudden, the stress was lifted from him. He became energetic and joyful, able to fully interact with his children and his wife.

He explained it this way: “That tree is my trouble tree. When I come home I stop by the tree and, just like I leave my tools in the truck, I leave my troubles outside of my home. I hang them on that tree before greeting my family. Anything that does not have to come into my house stays outside. Anything that I do not have to deal with at home, I leave on that tree. And in the morning, I stop by the tree and pick up the troubles I left there in the evening.”

Then he adds, “It’s a funny thing, though. Every morning I always find fewer troubles remaining than I hung the night before.”

Here is a man who has no doubt seen the Bluebird of Happiness. Chances are, it is nesting in a tree just outside his home.

There is wisdom in knowing that some problems can wait until tomorrow. And more wis­dom in knowing what to hang on the tree and what to bring in. Managing daily problems well is vital to maintaining joy.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Vicki DeLoach