An Unexpected Gift

Work sometimes has a bad reputation in our world. But there is something worse than work, and that is having no work to do. Even if we don’t need the money, we still need to be productive. At least that is what Drs. Kathryn Rost and G. Richard Smith of the University of Arkansas say. After analyzing the mental health of heart attack survivors, they concluded that one factor which greatly reduced the chances of depression was going back to work.

And why not? For one thing, at work we are often around friends, and people with strong relationships will almost always fare better mentally. For another, we humans need to feel useful, and we are often most productive when we work.

The scholar Arthur Kroeger wrote in Quote magazine (August 1994) that his brother sometimes visited an Anabaptist colony in southern Alberta, Canada. During one visit he asked leaders how they dealt with the problem of misbehavior – when people rebelled against the colony’s strict rules. He was told that these people were first asked to correct their behavior. If they did not respond, they would be given a stern “talking to.”

“But what do you do when all else fails, when somebody stubbornly refuses to behave?” he pressed.

“Ah,” came the reply, “if it comes to that, then we don’t give him anything to do.”

They are given no way to meaningfully contribute to their tight-knit community, nothing productive to do. For this colony, it is an effective behavior modification strategy.

Not having anything to do may work well when we enjoy some time away, but it makes for a poor lifestyle. Industrialist Henry Ford stated, “Work is our sanity, our self-respect, our salvation. So far from being a curse, work is the greatest blessing.” 

When I am unable to participate in some activity during working hours, I often turn it down by saying, “I have to work today.” But that makes working sound like an unwelcome obligation. The truth is, I am grateful I have honest work to do and that I am able to do it. Even a feeling of exhaustion at the end of a busy day can’t mask my satisfaction of having accomplished something useful. My work is an unexpected gift, and in that I am blessed.

Dale Carnegie gives this advice: “Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours.” Even if that work is volunteer service, if you believe in what you’re doing, your paycheck will be measured in satisfaction rather than money. And satisfaction is something money just can't buy.

--Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Javier Kohen

If You’re Not Loving Life

An efficiency expert once concluded her lecture with the comment, “Please don’t try these techniques at home.”

“Why not?” she was asked.

“I used to watch my husband prepare breakfast and wondered why he made so many trips to the table carrying only one item at a time,” she replied. “One day I asked him, ‘Wouldn’t it be quicker and more efficient if you organized yourself to carry several things to the table at once?’” 

“Did it work?” she was asked.

“Oh, yes, it worked,” the expert replied. “It used to take my husband twenty minutes to prepare breakfast. Now I do it in seven.”

Not all advice is readily received. And sometimes it is not heard the way it was intended. But neither should all advice be followed; rather, wisdom learns to separate kernels of truth from weeds.

Some advice worthy of consideration, though, comes from multi-billionaire Warren Buffett. These are some of his rules to live by.

1. Pay off your credit cards every month.

2. Put integrity first in your life. 

3. Be smart about whose habits you decide to copy.

4. Don’t do something just for the money. Happiness comes from loving the work.

I have a friend who believes in trying to do what you love. He says, “Seven years ago I decided to do what I loved most − loving people. Since that time my cup has slowly been filled and is now flowing over the brim with love. Simultaneously, while seeking humility and significance, I lost pride and prominence. During those seven years I have had several mottoes. Probably the most significant one is: If you are not loving life, you are not living love.”

There’s a motto worth keeping. If you are not loving life, you are not living love. 

I may never be a multi-billionaire like Warren Buffett. But if I get better at living love, I may just be about the richest person around.

--Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Marga Serrano

Three Simple Words that Change Everything

How wonderful it would be if there were a simple formula for success. “Follow these steps and you will be successful in business, as a parent, as a student, in your vocation or in any endeavor you attempt.” Only if it were that easy.

I think of the man who was honored as “Businessperson of the Year.” At the presentation dinner, a newspaper reporter asked him, “To what do you owe your great success and prosperity?”

“Five things contributed to my success,” said the man. “First, I always treated people fairly. Second, I always offered a fair price. Third, I was always honest. Fourth, I was always generous to my employees. And fifth, my Aunt Edna died a few years back and left me two and a half million dollars.”

Certainly, the top four items on his list are well worth following - fairness, sound business principles, honesty and generosity. Each contributes toward success. And Aunt Edna’s infusion of money certainly helped. 

But there is one behavior that will almost always guarantee that we will succeed at most everything we do. And it is especially important if we want to build whole and happy lives.

Professor Richard Weaver, who taught at Bowling Green State University in Ohio, points us to that behavior. He sums it up in three simple words: “and then some.”

Most people do what is expected of them. But some do what is expected – and then some. They meet their obligations and responsibilities fairly – and then some. They are good friends to their friends – and then some. They build bridges; they mend fences - and then some. They can be counted on in an emergency – and then some. They are considerate and kind – and then some. They donate money, expertise and time - and then some.

There are many paths to getting what you want out of life and becoming the kind of person you want to be in life. But the surest way of succeeding is to remember those three words: and then some.

They are only three simple words, but they change everything.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/bernavazqueze

Success Tax

Image by Bernavazqueze

I have learned something about success: I have learned that it comes with a tax.

Achieve your dreams, they say. Anything you want can come your way. Nothing to it, they say. Just follow a simple system and anything and everything can be yours. Not so. There is a tax you pay to get what you want, whether you want more income, healthier relationships, emotional satisfaction, spiritual growth or a well-lived life. It is called dedication.

Orson Welles once said, "My doctor has advised me to give up those intimate little dinners for four, unless, of course, there are three other people eating with me." Some people will tell you that you can lose 25 or 50 pounds in just weeks. It's easy, they say. Not so. Andy Rooney observed that the two biggest sellers in any bookstore are cookbooks and diet books. “Cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food and diet books tell you how not to eat any of it.” If it were easy to lose weight, who’d buy the books?

Some people will tell you that you can have the body of an athlete, or the Incredible Hulk or a fashion model (assuming that’s what you want). It's quick and simple, they say. Not so. It is never easy to succeed at difficult goals. There is a tax, and that tax is called dedication.

Do you want to excel at a sport, play a musical instrument well or become an accomplished artist? One man was lost in New York City. He poked his head into a taxi cab and asked the driver, "How do you get to Yankee Stadium?" The driver responded, "Practice, practice, practice." You want to become really good at something you enjoy? You probably can. But there is a tax to pay and that tax is called dedication.

Many of us would like closer relationships with a spouse or a child or with friends. There are never guarantees, but I promise that those relationships will suffer without dedication. When they were small, I wanted to figure out how to be closer to my young boys. And I noticed what the problem was...I wasn’t spending enough high-quality, significant time with them. So, in addition to my other parental activities, I decided that I would take one of them out for breakfast every week. Just the two of us. For me it was alone time with one child. For my sons, it was a chance to get Dad all by himself -- with no distractions. 

I scheduled the breakfast dates a few days in advance. Some weeks it seemed like more of a nuisance and I was tempted to skip. Some weeks we didn’t have the money. Some weeks I had an unusually busy day ahead and believed I just didn’t have the time. But it was a high priority. I dedicated myself to it and, regardless of good reasons to cancel, I made it happen anyway. (And if truth be told, my sons wouldn’t let me skip -- they looked forward to eating food they usually didn’t get at home.) As I now figure it, I had breakfast alone with one of my children over 500 times. It became a time for listening and talking and bonding; never a time for correcting and persuading (those were the ground rules). As I look back, I made plenty of mistakes as a father, but if I had it to do over again, I would still do the breakfasts.

We pay a tax to succeed at anything worthwhile. That tax is called dedication, and here's the most wonderful part. Once you pay it, once you truly dedicate yourself to something important, you'll find the price was worth it.

-- Steve Goodier

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Squawk Back

Image courtesy of Vera Berard

"Squawks" are maintenance complaints US Air Force pilots leave for their ground crews to address between flights. Somebody sent me these actual squawks and the replies to each from maintenance. Enjoy.

Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Maintenance: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Maintenance: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.
Maintenance: Something tightened in cockpit.

Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Maintenance: Evidence removed.

Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.
Maintenance: Live bugs on order.

Pilot: Number three engine missing.
Maintenance: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.
Maintenance: Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious.

Pilot: Target Radar hums.
Maintenance: Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.

Like they say, if you're too busy to laugh, you're too busy. Do you get the feeling that these people know how to pepper their work with fun?

And speaking of flying, flight attendants also know something about being playful.

Those safety announcements they make at the beginning of every flight must get boring to repeat. Some attendants have fun with them. “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover,” announced one, “but there are only four ways out of this airplane."

I'm not sure if it was the same one who said, “To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

Another attendant put this spin on the announcement: “In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.”

“Your seat cushions can be used for flotation,” another announced. “And in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”

On one flight, which was served by a older-than-average flight crew, the announcement was made: "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

Before takeoff, passengers once heard this: “Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight.”

Heard on a flight just after a particularly hard landing: “That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault. It wasn't the pilot's fault. It wasn't the flight attendant's fault. It was the asphalt.”

I love people like that. Even if I can't always do what I enjoy, I only hope I can at least enjoy myself while I do it.

-- Steve Goodier

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Following Your Call

Image courtesy of Davide Guglielmo

One man says it really happened. At the conclusion of his medical exam, the doctor asked him if he would please call in the next patient. So, he opened the waiting room door and called, “Mrs. Colchester, please.” Then he left the doctor’s office.

He had walked some distance along the street outside when he heard Mrs. Colchester’s voice behind him, “Where are we going?”

She knew she was being called, but she misunderstood the intent. I wonder if she made it back in time for her appointment.

There are times I can relate to her. I, too, have experienced “callings” in my life, though mine have taken the form of callings to a certain vocation or a particular life-direction. And sometimes I’ve been confused about exactly where I am going when following that voice and just as uncertain about where I may end up.

It's an old-fashioned word, “calling.” It can mean a profession or line of work. Or even a strong inner urge or impulse. In my case, callings have led me to dedicate myself to something I believed I was meant to do in life.

Oprah Winfrey says this about callings: “I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint – and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.”

It is a satisfying thing when we feel called to a worthy purpose. How beautiful (and how rare) it is to believe we are doing just the thing we’re meant to do in this life. But is it realistic to think we must do THE ONE THING we were meant to do? How about doing ONE OF THE THINGS we are passionate about? Let me explain.

Consider a Swiss Army pocketknife. It is a multipurpose tool. It can cut, saw, file, snip and open up cans and jars. With it, one can turn a screw, pull out a splinter, pop the cork in a wine bottle and even pick one’s teeth. (My advice: never leave home without one.)

You and I are more like Swiss Army knives than butter knives or steak knives. We can DO more than one thing. We can LOVE more than one thing. We can BE more than one thing. Likewise, we may be called to more than one thing.

Like Swiss Army knives, we have options. Ours is to discover those truly worthwhile things we feel led to do and be – things we love, that are life-affirming and deserve our best – and then to commit to them, to give ourselves over fully to them and pursue them with joy. That is what it means to be called. And that is how to make a life count.

But beware of this about callings: they may not lead us where we intended to go or even where we want to go. If we choose to follow, we may have to be willing to let go of the life we already planned and accept whatever is waiting for us. And if the calling is true, though we may not have gone where we intended, we will surely end up where we need to be.

It is like an adventure. Are you ready?

-- Steve Goodier

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Warm Worms

You may have heard the old story about the world’s most dedicated fisherman. He had out-fished his companion all morning long. They used the same live bait, the same equipment and fished together in the same mountain stream. But he had almost caught his limit of fish while his friend had yet to catch even one.

“What’s your secret?” asked the friend. “I haven’t even gotten a bite!”

The angler mumbled an unintelligible answer, causing his companion to ask again.

The successful fisherman emptied the contents of his mouth into a cupped hand and replied: “I said, ‘You have to keep your worms warm.’”

Talk about dedication. But did you know there are at least three types of fresh water fishermen (or fisherwomen, if that fits better)?

First, there are those who fish for sport. They like to “catch and release,” quickly throwing their catch back into the water. For these anglers, it’s all about recreation.

Then there are those who fish because they like the taste of fish. They are selective. They only keep the fish they will someday eat.

Finally, there are those who fish because they are hungry. If they don’t catch, they don’t eat. It is important for this group to succeed, and they are fully dedicated to what they do.

Whether or not we fish or even eat fish, there is a lesson to be learned here. We are most likely to succeed when we approach a task fully dedicated. Especially if the task before us is difficult or there seems little likelihood of success. Whether we want to patch a relationship, build a new business, write that first novel, kick a drug habit, or go back to school, we should see how willing we are to do what it takes – even if it means keeping the worms warm.

There are two important questions I ask myself to see just how dedicated I am. Question number one: “How much do I want this?” When some people fish, if they don’t catch, they don’t eat. Some things are too important for me to risk failure. So how much do I want to succeed at this relationship, this career or this dream?

The other question I ask is similar: “How hard am I willing to work?” If ‘success’ only comes before ‘work’ in the dictionary, I may have to work harder than I’ve ever worked before. But if I want it enough, the hard work will be worth it.

“Always bear in mind,” said Abraham Lincoln, “that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.” And that is where it always begins: with a whole-hearted resolution to succeed – in a task, in a calling, in a life.

How much do I want this? And, how hard am I willing to work? Start there, and great things can happen.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Agi Rydula

Toll Road to Success

An airline passenger struck up a conversation with a stranger who was sniffling, apparently due to a recent head cold.

"Look at me!" the healthy one boasted. "Never a day's sickness in my life, and all due to simple food. Why, from the age of twenty to that of forty I lived an absolutely simple, regular life -- no pampering, no late hours, no extravagances. Every day, in fact, I was in bed regularly at nine o'clock and up again at five in the morning. I ate a plain meal at noon and, after that, exercised for an hour, then..."

"Excuse me," interrupted the sniffling stranger in the next seat, "but what were you in for?"

That regimented life does sound too much like a prison sentence. Some people can go overboard with a rigid routine. I once went on a near-starvation diet just to drop a few pounds. In two weeks I lost five pounds and the will to live.

Self discipline is important to happiness, but a rigid routine may not be the answer.

Mark Twain gave some advice about discipline. "Do one thing every day you don't want to do," he suggested. I think I can do that. One thing I’ve been putting off. One thing I always said I “ought” to do, but never made the effort.

I believe that doing something important that we don’t want to do every day is a price we pay for success. Call it discipline. Call it duty. Call it paying your dues, for that may be what it really is.

And the other part is this: leave some time to do something you WANT to do, too. Paying your dues gets you where you want to go. Then having fun along the way makes the journey worthwhile.

For me, the “road to success” has been more like a toll road. If I pay that small, daily fee, I can go most anywhere I want. And when I leave enough time for fun, I enjoy the ride.

-- Steve Goodier

image:flickr.com/Jimmy Emerson, DVM

Early to Bed

I know one man who says he likes work. It fascinates him. He says he can sit and watch it for hours.

He was probably the same guy who went to his supervisor to ask for a raise.

“I am already planning on giving you a raise,” she said.

“Oh, great!” he said. “When will it be effective?”

“As soon as you are!” shouted the boss. (Do you know that man?)

Someone said, "Find a job that you love, and you'll never work a day in your life."

Some people are fortunate enough to be able to find a job they love. But not everyone can follow their bliss into the marketplace. I’ve had jobs where my motto was closer to “Early to bed and early to rise, ‘till you make enough money to do otherwise.” I had to decide to at least try to like what I do, since I did not find myself doing what I liked.

There are benefits to learning to enjoy at least parts of what we do if we can’t do what we love. It stands to reason that the more pleasure we find in our work, the more effective and successful we will become. And usually we will make more money. But mainly, who wants to spend a life dreading to climb out of the bed every morning only to spend the rest of the day watching the clock tick off endless minutes and hours?

Can you concentrate more on the aspects of your work that you enjoy? Can you find ways to develop nurturing relationships in your workplace? Can you remember why you are working: to educate your children or to save for retirement? Can you see yourself less as chipping stones and more as building a temple…in other words, can you see the big picture of what you do all day? Are there ways you can serve others in your work environment? All of these techniques and others can help you to learn to find more enjoyment at work.

It was the mystic Kahil Gibran who put it this way: “Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love, but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and ask for alms of those who work with joy.”

If you can’t do what you love ALL of the time, can you learn to enjoy what you do MORE of the time?

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Carlos Rodrigo

Enjoying What You Do

Plato said that work should be play. Some airline employees are taking him seriously. After landing, one flight attendant announced, "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." (I like the honest approach.)

As a plane touched down and was slowing to a stop in Washington, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" (Who says you can't have fun with your job?)

One pilot made this weather announcement: "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive."

"As you exit the plane," a flight attendant said, "please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

And passengers reported that they heard this from the crew just as they began to exit: "Last one off the plane must clean it."

To enjoy your work more, I think it helps to put some play in what you do. And if you don't like your work, can you find something to do you enjoy more?

Authors Doug Hall and David Wecker tell the story of Ken Davis, a man who found a simple way to enjoy his work (Making the Courage Connection, 1997). Ken just couldn't find his occupational niche. He worked at a variety of jobs and disliked them all. While Ken was working as a door salesman, he noticed that at least half of his customers had malfunctioning doorbells. And suddenly, Ken's life career became clear. He opened his own doorbell repair service.

Ken's wife laughed when she first heard his idea. When she realized he was serious, she cried. Whoever heard of making a living repairing doorbells? But Ken is making a comfortable living at his unique job, and he's happier than he's ever been. Ken didn't enjoy what he was doing, so he is now doing what he enjoys.

"The biggest mistake that you can make is to believe that you are working for somebody else," Earl Nightingale asserts. "Job security is gone. The driving force of a career must come from the individual. Remember, jobs are owned by the company; you own your career!"

It's true that, no matter where you work, you actually work for yourself. After all, it's your life. And with a little creativity and imagination, maybe your work can seem less like drudgery and more like play. Wouldn't you really rather have it that way?

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/mj ecker

Are You Having Fun Yet?

Plato said that work should be play. Some airline employees have taken his injunction seriously. After landing, one flight attendant announced, "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." There’s a flight attendant who knows how to turn her work into play.

She may have been the same one who, as the passengers disembarked from the aircraft, announced, “Last one off the plane must clean it.”

A British insurance agent has fun with the accident reports he reads from some of his clients. Like the one who wrote: “I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.” You know, stationary traffic can be like that.

Another client reported, “Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.” Voodoo would be a worry.

Before he became an actor, Ray Liotta worked in a cemetery. “I had a hundred people under me, and it was quiet,” he fondly remembers. Actually, that doesn’t sound half bad to me.

I have friends in the medical industry. She is a pharmacist and he is a sales rep for a pharmaceutical company. When I first met them I asked what they did for a living. He said, “She makes drugs and I sell them.”

I like the idea of injecting some play into work. And one of the great benefits is this: when our work is more fun, we like it better. And when we like it better, we do it better.

Are you having fun yet?

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Kevin Morris