All the Joy You Need

Thirteenth Century priest Thomas Aquinas once said, “No one can live without joy.” But many people do live joyless lives. And the reason is often simply because they don’t know how to be happy. They are so intent on the three P’s – power, prosperity and prestige – that they miss out on simple joy.

French photographer Henri Cartier-Bresson pioneered modern photography as an art form during the early decades of the 20th Century. He was a master of candid photography and something of a genius at spotting and photographing apparent contradictions: pictures that left mysteries unexplained.

One of his famous photographs was shot in a poor section of Seville, Spain in 1933. The picture depicts a run-down alley surrounded by decaying walls, strewn with rubble and riddled with bullet holes dotting gray walls. The setting alone evokes feelings of sadness and despair.

But then...the contradiction. Within the grim alley children are playing. They wear dirty and tattered clothes, as one might expect in such a setting, but like playing children everywhere, they laugh with carefree joy. In the foreground, a tiny boy on crutches hobbles away from two other boys, his face lit up with a broad grin. One boy is laughing so hard he has to hold his side. Others lean on the cracked walls, beaming with delight.

It is easy to spot the contrast – and the point. Joy amid the rubble of life. Laughter among life’s ruins.

We cannot avoid pain, however hard we try. But we can avoid joy. We cannot escape hardship and trouble, but we can miss out on much of life's peace and laughter.

If you feel as if you could use more joy, here are a few tips:

• Do something today just for the fun of it.
• Decide to fill your thoughts with less anxiety and more peace.
• Laugh a little more. A little more heartily and a little more often.
• Practice a hopeful attitude.
• Love as much as you can. Love people. Love experiences. Love ideas. Love beauty. In short -- love life.

You may occasionally find yourself amid life’s rubble. But strangely - even there you can discover joy. 

It’s one of the beautiful contradictions of life.

--  Steve Goodier

Image: copyright by Henri Cartier-Bresson | Fair Use

Do You Know How to Wait?

Philosopher Joseph-Marie de Maistre said, “To know how to wait is the great secret of success.” 

Comedian Bob Hope would agree. "I grew up with six brothers," he said. "That's how I learned to dance, waiting to get into the bathroom."

Do you know how to wait? Whether or not you share a bathroom with others, you can get plenty of practice. 

A customer struck up a conversation with the clerk in a retail store. “Wow, $17.76,” he said. “The year of the American Declaration of Independence. And exactly 200 years later I was born.”

That began an intense conversation with the employee about interesting historical events. All the while a line formed behind him.

When the customer finally left, the next patron in line impatiently asked what was going on. “Oh, we were just sharing interesting historical fun facts,” the clerk said.

“Well, then," said the irritated customer, "can you tell me what happened the year I started waiting in line?"

As Mark Twain says, “All good things arrive to them that wait -- and don't die in the meantime.”

Do you know how to wait? I’m sure you get plenty of opportunities to practice.

After moving to the city, I grew impatient with the bumper-to-bumper traffic. I decided to keep a harmonica in the glove compartment, along with a beginner's book. When traffic was held up, I took out my harmonica and played. I figured I could either practice patience or practice the harmonica. The harmonica seemed like more fun. 

There’s a great secret to waiting patiently: make it fun. 

My life improved immeasurably when I discovered audiobooks. I know there’s value to being 100% present in everything you do, but I also know that a lot of what I do can be described as mind-numbingly dull. Like waiting in long lines. Commuting in city traffic. And if I’m into a great audiobook, none of it bothers me at all. I actually look forward to relaxing in a line or, when finding myself snarled in traffic, I can spend some uninterrupted time on my book. 

Like I said, there’s a secret to waiting patiently: make it fun. You just might look forward to your next traffic jam.

-- Steve Goodier

Photo:  freeimages.com/James Goneaux

Squawk Back

Image courtesy of Vera Berard

"Squawks" are maintenance complaints US Air Force pilots leave for their ground crews to address between flights. Somebody sent me these actual squawks and the replies to each from maintenance. Enjoy.

Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Maintenance: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Maintenance: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.
Maintenance: Something tightened in cockpit.

Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Maintenance: Evidence removed.

Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.
Maintenance: Live bugs on order.

Pilot: Number three engine missing.
Maintenance: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.
Maintenance: Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious.

Pilot: Target Radar hums.
Maintenance: Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.

Like they say, if you're too busy to laugh, you're too busy. Do you get the feeling that these people know how to pepper their work with fun?

And speaking of flying, flight attendants also know something about being playful.

Those safety announcements they make at the beginning of every flight must get boring to repeat. Some attendants have fun with them. “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover,” announced one, “but there are only four ways out of this airplane."

I'm not sure if it was the same one who said, “To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

Another attendant put this spin on the announcement: “In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.”

“Your seat cushions can be used for flotation,” another announced. “And in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”

On one flight, which was served by a older-than-average flight crew, the announcement was made: "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

Before takeoff, passengers once heard this: “Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight.”

Heard on a flight just after a particularly hard landing: “That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault. It wasn't the pilot's fault. It wasn't the flight attendant's fault. It was the asphalt.”

I love people like that. Even if I can't always do what I enjoy, I only hope I can at least enjoy myself while I do it.

-- Steve Goodier

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Laughter Is Cheap Medicine

I know a couple who works in the pharmaceutical industry. He is a sales representative and she is a pharmacist. When asked what they do for a living, he is quick to reply, "She makes drugs and I sell ‘em."

I believe it was Lord Byron who said, "Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine." And researchers are finding that to be true – quite literally.

A woman diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis wrote to me and talked about how painful the disease had become. Debra said that no drugs would touch the devastating pain. "At times I prayed to die because I did not think I could go on this way," she said. But in two and a half years she weaned herself from most of her medication, which had reached a high of 21 pills a day. This is how she did it.

"I began seeing a doctor who gave me the most important prescription that I ever could have received," she said. "He excused himself from the room. I watched him walking back and forth in the hall; he seemed to be in deep thought."

The doctor came back in with this prescription: he told Debra to get some funny movies and to begin laughing (the doc was a Norman Cousins fan, no doubt). If she didn't feel like laughing, then she should smile. If she didn't feel like smiling, she should smile anyway. He said that it would increase endorphins in her brain and help with her pain. In other words, fake it until you make it, like they say.

She did just as he suggested. She laughed when she could. She smiled when she couldn’t laugh. She smiled whether she felt like it or not. Her children teased her about her fake smile, but she told them that it was going to get rid of her pain.

And here’s the amazing thing: it did. Of course, not all of it, but a great deal of her pain eventually dissipated and in time, what was left became manageable – without all of the drugs.

Today, Debra laughs easily and is never seen without her smile. She says that she would not even feel normal without it.

It’s true that laughter really is cheap medicine. It’s a prescription anyone can afford. And best of all, you can fill it right now.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: freeimages/Jotul Oven

Finding the Funny Side

How are you at finding the funny side of a situation?

In America, each of the states likes to promote themselves with a slogan. I currently live in Utah, where the slogan is “Life Elevated.” It’s a nod to outdoor recreation in the high country, including the ski industry. I previously lived in Colorado, a land with red dirt, majestic mountains and golden plains. The slogan there is “Colorful Colorado.” Years ago I lived in the “Peach State” of Georgia, and I grew up in New Mexico, whose slogan is "Land of Enchantment."

New Mexico is a land of high, arid desert and it has a beauty of its own. I have never seen a sunset as spectacular as one in the New Mexico desert. The western sky can glow a brilliant orange behind red and purple clouds.  

But this is also a country of wind, lots of it. A gritty wind can howl for hours, and “dust devils” (funnel-shaped whirlwinds) will appear without notice.

We never seemed to get away from dust in New Mexico, so I appreciate the story of a newcomer to the Land of Enchantment who learned about dusty breezes. She was visiting an antique shop and the proprietor wiped down every item before showing it. The newcomer said, "Everything gets dusty here pretty quickly, doesn't it?"

"That's not dust, honey," the shop owner replied. "That's ENCHANTMENT."

Here was a person who took a negative and turned it into something humorous. That made the problem more palatable - easier to swallow, or at least live with. And face it: there are some things, like the weather, that we can’t change. All we can change is our attitude toward them. I believe one of the best techniques to do this is to find some humor in the situation. Finding the funny side of a difficulty, an irritation or a troublesome problem can be one of the most creative and effective things we can do.  

A Hong Kong shopping center manager was informed that an escalator broke. He posted a sign to warn customers. He opted not to use the traditional "Out of Order" or "Do Not Use" warnings. Instead, his sign read, "This Escalator Is Temporarily a Stairway." He turned a minus into humor and made it a plus. Sometimes the only sense you can make of a situation is a sense of humor.

How are you at finding the funny side?

-- Steve Goodier

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Toll Road to Success

An airline passenger struck up a conversation with a stranger who was sniffling, apparently due to a recent head cold.

"Look at me!" the healthy one boasted. "Never a day's sickness in my life, and all due to simple food. Why, from the age of twenty to that of forty I lived an absolutely simple, regular life -- no pampering, no late hours, no extravagances. Every day, in fact, I was in bed regularly at nine o'clock and up again at five in the morning. I ate a plain meal at noon and, after that, exercised for an hour, then..."

"Excuse me," interrupted the sniffling stranger in the next seat, "but what were you in for?"

That regimented life does sound too much like a prison sentence. Some people can go overboard with a rigid routine. I once went on a near-starvation diet just to drop a few pounds. In two weeks I lost five pounds and the will to live.

Self discipline is important to happiness, but a rigid routine may not be the answer.

Mark Twain gave some advice about discipline. "Do one thing every day you don't want to do," he suggested. I think I can do that. One thing I’ve been putting off. One thing I always said I “ought” to do, but never made the effort.

I believe that doing something important that we don’t want to do every day is a price we pay for success. Call it discipline. Call it duty. Call it paying your dues, for that may be what it really is.

And the other part is this: leave some time to do something you WANT to do, too. Paying your dues gets you where you want to go. Then having fun along the way makes the journey worthwhile.

For me, the “road to success” has been more like a toll road. If I pay that small, daily fee, I can go most anywhere I want. And when I leave enough time for fun, I enjoy the ride.

-- Steve Goodier

image:flickr.com/Jimmy Emerson, DVM

A Child Within Us

It was an annual winter tradition. Every year we packed the children into our family car and spent the day at “The North Pole at Pikes Peak,” a year-round Christmas resort not far away. And each year they took turns on Santa’s lap while we snapped pictures.

This wasn’t any ordinary Santa, either. Maybe it was the real beard. Or maybe it was the twinkle in his eye when he talked to the kids. He came as close to the genuine Santa as anyone I can imagine. The kindly old man worked as Santa Claus at the resort all year round and, for our family at least, he was just about the real thing.

One year, after we finished with pictures, I said to him, “You must really love children.”

“Yes, I do,” he said. “And adults, too. Many adults want to sit with Santa for a picture!”

“Do you really have adults visit Santa?” I asked in amazement.

“Oh, yes,” he replied. “As a matter of fact, one day 14 of the first 20 people who came to visit Santa were adults. All of us have a child inside of us. It’s a terrible thing when you lose that.”

I think I know what he meant. Children are enthusiastic. They’ve not forgotten how to have fun. And they still feel awe and wonder and excitement.

“It’s a terrible thing when you lose that,” he said. I don’t think he meant that we are to be childish and immature - just childlike. There is a difference.

To be childlike is to be fun-loving and ready to get lost in the present. To be childlike is to be more innocent and trusting. Quicker to embrace life and love. To be childlike is to not yet be jaded by the world or too cynical about people. Those who are childlike laugh easily and often. They know there is plenty about this universe they may not understand, and that is okay. In fact, mystery is good. It fills them with awe.

My children eventually grew up and quit visiting Santa. A few years later I learned that he passed away. As it turns out, even an almost-real Santa doesn’t live forever. I had the honor of speaking at his funeral service and remembered him that day as a man who always kept his childlike sense of enthusiasm, love and joy. He was one of the youngest people I knew.

I only hope I’m that young when I’m that old.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Phil Reed

Enjoying What You Do

Plato said that work should be play. Some airline employees are taking him seriously. After landing, one flight attendant announced, "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." (I like the honest approach.)

As a plane touched down and was slowing to a stop in Washington, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" (Who says you can't have fun with your job?)

One pilot made this weather announcement: "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive."

"As you exit the plane," a flight attendant said, "please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

And passengers reported that they heard this from the crew just as they began to exit: "Last one off the plane must clean it."

To enjoy your work more, I think it helps to put some play in what you do. And if you don't like your work, can you find something to do you enjoy more?

Authors Doug Hall and David Wecker tell the story of Ken Davis, a man who found a simple way to enjoy his work (Making the Courage Connection, 1997). Ken just couldn't find his occupational niche. He worked at a variety of jobs and disliked them all. While Ken was working as a door salesman, he noticed that at least half of his customers had malfunctioning doorbells. And suddenly, Ken's life career became clear. He opened his own doorbell repair service.

Ken's wife laughed when she first heard his idea. When she realized he was serious, she cried. Whoever heard of making a living repairing doorbells? But Ken is making a comfortable living at his unique job, and he's happier than he's ever been. Ken didn't enjoy what he was doing, so he is now doing what he enjoys.

"The biggest mistake that you can make is to believe that you are working for somebody else," Earl Nightingale asserts. "Job security is gone. The driving force of a career must come from the individual. Remember, jobs are owned by the company; you own your career!"

It's true that, no matter where you work, you actually work for yourself. After all, it's your life. And with a little creativity and imagination, maybe your work can seem less like drudgery and more like play. Wouldn't you really rather have it that way?

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/mj ecker

Are You Having Fun Yet?

Plato said that work should be play. Some airline employees have taken his injunction seriously. After landing, one flight attendant announced, "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." There’s a flight attendant who knows how to turn her work into play.

She may have been the same one who, as the passengers disembarked from the aircraft, announced, “Last one off the plane must clean it.”

A British insurance agent has fun with the accident reports he reads from some of his clients. Like the one who wrote: “I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.” You know, stationary traffic can be like that.

Another client reported, “Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.” Voodoo would be a worry.

Before he became an actor, Ray Liotta worked in a cemetery. “I had a hundred people under me, and it was quiet,” he fondly remembers. Actually, that doesn’t sound half bad to me.

I have friends in the medical industry. She is a pharmacist and he is a sales rep for a pharmaceutical company. When I first met them I asked what they did for a living. He said, “She makes drugs and I sell them.”

I like the idea of injecting some play into work. And one of the great benefits is this: when our work is more fun, we like it better. And when we like it better, we do it better.

Are you having fun yet?

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Kevin Morris