I’ll Never Complain Again

I once read about a man who, back in the mid-1970s, was driving in a downpour and stopped for fuel. This was in the days of “full-service” gas stations. He sat inside his dry car while an attendant, who whistled cheerfully while he worked, filled up his tank in that awful rain.

As the customer was leaving, he said apologetically, “I’m sorry to get you out in this weather.”

The attendant replied, “It doesn’t bother me a bit. When I was fighting in Vietnam, I made up my mind in a foxhole one day that if I ever got out of this place alive, I would be so grateful I’d never complain about anything again. And I haven’t.”

One person likes to say, “Happiness consists of living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.” And Ralph Waldo Emerson puts it this way: “An individual has a healthy personality to the exact degree to which they have the propensity to look for the good in every situation."

However you say it, choosing our attitudes is part of building a whole and happy life.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Kevin Spencer

Setting Your Outlook

A man who fell off a skyscraper was heard to say as he passed the 12th floor, “So far, so good!” An optimist. 

Actually, I believe in optimism. I believe that there is considerable power in an upbeat attitude, especially when it is grounded in reality.

The late Brian Johnston, a well-known British broadcaster, demonstrated the power of a hopeful outlook. He delighted millions of listeners with his radio programs. He was also a top-class cricket commentator and enthusiast for the game. He once said, “I am a great optimist. Every time I go to a cricket match, I think it is going to be the best game I have ever seen. Of course, it never is, but what pleasure it gives me in anticipation!”

And maybe that is the point. Is he simply playing silly mind games? I don’t think so. Imagine how much more we might enjoy a meal, a book, an outing, a concert, a holiday – if we think these just may be the best we have ever experienced. Maybe they won’t be. But anticipating something no less than wonderful can make all the difference.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox poetically wrote:

One ship sails East,

And another West,

By the self-same winds that blow,

'Tis the set of the sails

And not the gales,

That tells the way we go.

Set your mental sails to catch favorable winds. Whenever possible, try to look for - and expect - the best. You may discover that things turn out better again and again just because you’ve set higher expectations.  And even if you don’t realize the very best, what have you lost? You still get to enjoy the amazing pleasure of anticipation.

-- Steve Goodier 

Image: flickr.com/Jon Pinder

Which Direction Are You Looking?

Newscaster Paul Harvey once related a story about a woman from Michigan who vacationed in Florida. She found a secluded spot on the roof of her hotel to soak up a few rays of sunshine, and in order to get a “total” tan, she removed all her clothing. Within a half-hour the hotel manager was beside her insisting that she cover up. She argued that nobody was in sight. He agreed. Problem was – she was stretched out over the hotel skylight.

It occurs to me that the hotel’s problems began because somebody was looking up! Which normally is an excellent thing to do. At least in attitude. But what a surprise lay in store that day for those beneath the skylight.

As you know, some folks spend their lives looking down. Downcast in spirit, they hang their heads and lead negative and joyless lives. Frankly, it’s a difficult way to live.

Others are constantly looking out. They live in fear and watch vigilantly for problems, real or imaginary, that threaten their happiness. Because they are risk-averse, they seldom challenge themselves to grow and rarely make a difference in life.

Still others seem always to be looking around. Forever searching for a better partner, a better job or a better deal, they keep a watchful eye out and seldom experience a lasting commitment. 

And others yet can be found too-often looking back. They believe their best days are behind them and they have no hope for the future. They can’t fully enjoy today because their eyes are on yesterday.

But a few vibrant folks are usually found looking up. These resilient individuals have learned how to look beyond problems to solutions; beyond discouragement to hope. Their positive attitude draws others in. They see the good because they look for it. They are encouragers and, at times, their hopeful attitude inspires those around them. 

For people who learn the habit of looking up, the payoff is usually satisfaction and joy. As Earl Nightingale correctly stated, “Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us.”

You can tell a lot about a person simply by noticing which direction they are inclined to look. Do they look down? Or do they look out? Maybe they are often found looking around or looking back. But there will always be some who will look up, no matter which direction others may face. 

The better question to ask is, which way will you look?

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/memphis CVB

Our Greatest Songs Are Still Unsung

Are you able to warmly welcome the future as you would a new friend?

The late US senator Hubert Humphrey, a man with an indomitable zest for living, once talked about the "good old days." He said, "They were never that good, believe me. The good new days are today, and better days are coming tomorrow. Our greatest songs are still unsung."

What a marvelous spirit. Our greatest songs are still unsung! Quite a different spirit is found in a business magazine ad that pictures a newborn baby with the caption: "Only 22,463 days until retirement." The ad is cute, but it picks up on a spirit of our day. It is a spirit of worry and anxiety. It is a spirit that tells us, "You don't know what the future holds. It is likely to be bleak; even disastrous. Plan carefully." You know what spirit I mean.

I have always believed in the future. And I will look forward to it with great anticipation. Why shouldn't I make friends with the future? After all, I intend to spend the rest of my life there.

I am intrigued by a story about a bishop back in the 1870s. The bishop had charge of a small denominational college. Annually, he visited the school and stayed in the home of the president.

The bishop was a narrow thinker with a dim view of the future. He told the school president during one of those visits that everything that could be invented had already been invented.

The administrator disagreed. "In 50 years," he contested, "people will learn to fly like birds."

That kind of talk greatly disturbed the bishop. "Flight is reserved for birds and angels," he said emphatically, "and you, sir, are guilty of blasphemy!"

The name of the bishop was Milton Wright. That name may not have a great deal of meaning to you, but something else will. You see, back at home, this clergyman had two enthusiastic sons - Orville and Wilbur - who believed that our greatest songs were still unsung. The rest of the story is one of an enthusiastic belief in tomorrow. You know how it ends.

Do you believe that your greatest songs are still unsung? Will you joyously welcome tomorrow, and all the tomorrows to come? After all, the good new days are today, and better days are coming tomorrow. 

-- Steve Goodier

Image: freeimage.com/gilderm

Every Problem Has a Gift

Image by krosseel

Writer Richard Bach says, “Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.” I don't always see that gift, I admit. But I remember reading about Glenn Cunningham when I was a child. His life bore the truth of it...every problem indeed has a gift for you. The trick is learning to find it.

In 1916 young Glenn and his brother Floyd were involved in a tragic accident.  Their school's pot-bellied stove exploded when the boys struck a match to light it. Somebody had mistakenly filled the can with gasoline instead of kerosene. Both boys were severely burned and had to be dragged from the schoolhouse. Floyd died of his injuries and doctors predicted that Glenn would be permanently crippled. Flesh and muscles were seared from both of Glenn's legs. His toes were burned off of his left foot and the foot's transverse arch was destroyed. Their local doctor recommended amputation of both legs and predicted that Glenn would never walk again. He told the boy's mother that it may have been better had he died. 

Glenn overheard the remark and decided that day that he WAS going to walk, no matter what. But he couldn't climb from a wheelchair for two years. Then one day he grasped the white wooden pickets of the fence surrounding his home and pulled himself up to his feet. Painfully he stepped, hanging onto the fence. He made his way along the fence, back and forth. He did this the next day and next – every day for weeks. He wore a path along the fence shuffling sideways. But muscles began to knit and grow in his scarred legs and feet.

When Glenn could finally walk he decided he would do something else nobody ever expected him to do again – he would learn to run. “It hurt like thunder to walk,” Glenn later said, “but it didn't hurt at all when I ran. So for five or six years, about all I did was run.” At first it looked more like hopping than running. But Glenn ran everywhere he could. He ran around the home. He ran as he did his chores. He ran to and from school (about two miles each way). He never walked when he could run. And after his legs strengthened he continued to run, not because he had to, but now because he wanted to.

If there was a gift in the tragic accident, it was that if forced Glenn to run. And run he did. He competed as a runner in high school and college. Then Glenn went on to compete in the 1932 and 1936 Olympics. He set world records for the mile run in 1934 and 1938. By the time he retired from competition, Glenn amassed a mountain of records and awards.

“Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.” And if not every problem, then just about every one. Even spectacular sunsets are not possible without cloudy skies. Troubles bring a gift for those who choose to look. And since I can't avoid my problems, why waste them? I should look for the gift. My life will be far, far richer for finding it.

– Steve Goodier

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What About Trust?

Image courtesy of Julia Freeman-Woolpert

A veterinarian prescribed three huge pills to be given to a sick mule. “How do I get him to take the pills?” the farmer asked.
 
“It’s quite simple,” replied the vet. “Just insert the pill into a pipe. Put the pipe in the mule’s mouth and blow on the other end. He will swallow the pill without realizing it.”
 
The next day the farmer returned, looking sickly. “You look awful!” said the doctor. “What happened?”
 
The farmer explained, “He blew first.”
 
And if, like the pill, you find that story hard to swallow, then you’re in good company. A healthy skepticism is probably needed to get by these days. My email spam folder is filled with offers from folks who want nothing more than to help me get rich – even total strangers who want to send me tons of money and all I have to do is to give them enough personal banking information to make the deposit. It’s probably a good thing that I’m not willing to swallow every fantastic claim that comes my way.
 
Bill Watterson’s Calvin and Hobbes cartoon strip once had Calvin asking, “Who was the first guy that looked at a cow and said, ‘I think that I’ll drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them’?” No, just because someone says the water is fine, I don’t have to fling myself in. If there is any truth in James Thurber’s assertion that “you can fool too many of the people too much of the time,” then I don’t need to be the first to volunteer.
 
But what about trust? I don’t want to become too cynical, either. I don’t want to go through life believing that behind every act of kindness there is a hidden motive, that inside every silver lining there is a dark cloud ready to disgorge bucketfuls of water on my little parade. I don’t want be wary of every stranger I meet and turn a suspicious eye to any good thing that comes my way.
 
Why not? Because I want to trust people. It is not nearly so important for me hone a sharp edge of skepticism as to be somebody with a keen ability to trust.
 
Relationships that work, after all, are built on trust. Trust in families is essential if want to raise healthy, happy children. As adults, we want to be trusted by others and our closest friends are usually people we can depend on. And what’s left in marriage when trust is shattered?
 
This is equally true in the world of business. My friend and business entrepreneur Bob Burg teaches, "All things being equal, people will do business with, and refer business to, those people they know, like and trust.” He should know. He built a business, and a life, on the principle of trust.
 
I am discovering that I can live far better without cynicism than I can without trust. And so I worry less these days about naively swallowing everything I hear and more about fine tuning an ability to catch glimpses of whatever good there may be around me.
 
In his poem “Desiderata” (1927), Max Erhmann offers this deep wisdom:
 

“Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism…
 
“Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass…

“Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

It IS a beautiful world. May I have eyes to see it.
 
-- Steve Goodier

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