Enough Is a Moving Target

Image by Vivek Chugh

Alfred E. Neuman, mascot for Mad magazine, once said, “Most people don’t know what they really want – but they’re sure they haven’t got it.” It might be true that a great many people do not think they have what they really want...or need.

I have a friend who likes to say, “Enough is a moving target.” When do we have enough? Enough money? Enough love? Enough time? Enough influence? Enough respect? Enough of whatever we think we need to be happier? Maybe we got that new job or bought that car we had been waiting for. Perhaps we found a relationship that was exactly what we sought for so long, or settled into a life we thought we always wanted. Maybe we got that advanced degree or finally moved away from parents and now live on our own.

We should be happy, right? And for a while, we are. But how often do we eventually discover that the shine is gone, that somehow we don't seem to have enough? What changed? Chances are, we are victims of the phenomenon that “enough is a moving target.”

The job no longer satisfies. The relationship no longer fulfills like we had expected. All those things we had for so long thought would bring lasting contentment just don't seem to be enough because somebody moved the target.

And here's the truth: our age is characterized by the ABILITY to get what we want, and the INABILITY to want what we've got. Our age is characterized by discontentment.

In 1988, one woman won twenty-two million dollars in her state lottery. Her family and friends gathered around her. Television lights blazed. Even the network news showed up. She was ecstatic. "This is the happiest day of my life!" she announced.

And you know the rest of the story. A mere five years later she was shown again on television shaking her head in disbelief. In no time at all she went through a divorce, the alienation of her children and a financial investment that turned sour. A judge garnished her lottery winnings for the rest of her life. The closing scene showed the woman sitting on the steps of an apartment building in utter despair.

She had won $22 million. Not that it should have made her happy, but it certainly was not enough to save her from unhappiness.

Don't hear me say that happiness comes from material possessions. I don't believe it for a minute. You already know that the most important things in life are probably not things at all. But happiness, at least in part, does come from a deep appreciation of what we already have, both material and immaterial. It's never about getting what we want – somebody keeps moving that target. It's about appreciating whatever it is we have.

You probably have the ability to get what you want. And you likely have everything you need to be completely satisfied. But do you also have the ability to want what you've got?

That just may be one of the most important questions you will ever answer.

-- Steve Goodier

What Is Your Rope Tied To?

You may have heard of the man who decided to repair the roof of his house. The pitch was steep, and to be safe, he tied a rope around his waist and threw the other end of it over the top of the house. He called his son and asked him to tie it to something secure. The boy fastened the safety rope to the bumper of their car parked in the driveway. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

But a little while later, his wife needed to run a few errands with the automobile. Unaware of the line securing her husband, she started the car and proceeded to drive away. The rope immediately tightened and jerked the man over the roof and into thin air. Now before you become alarmed, let me assure you that this never really happened. But I chuckle at the image of the poor guy sailing over the top of his house like Evel Knievel without a motorcycle.

This story, factual or not, points to a great truth. It is a truth about where we place our security; about those things to which we’ve tied our safety lines. What is your rope tied to?

Think about it. What do you depend on to keep you from disaster? Is your rope tied to a good job? Is it tied to a relationship with somebody you rely on? Is it tied to a company or an organization?

In her wise and sensitive audio Lessons in Living, writer Susan Taylor tells of discovering how unreliable some of our safety lines really are. She tells of lying in bed in the early hours of the morning when an earthquake struck. As her house shook, she tumbled out of bed and managed to stand underneath an arched door-way in her hall, watching in horror as her whole house tumbled down around her. Where her bed had once stood, she later discovered nothing but a pile of rubble. She lost everything – every button, every dish, her automobile, every stitch of clothing.

Susan huddled, scared and crying, in the darkness. In the predawn morning she cried and called out for help.

As exhaustion set in, she thought that maybe she should be listening for rescuers rather than making so much commotion. So she grew still and listened. In the silence around her, the only sound she heard was the beating of her own heart. It occurred to her then that at least she was still alive and, amazingly enough, unhurt. She thought about her situation. In the stillness, fear abandoned her and a feeling of indescribable peace and happiness flooded in, the likes of which she had never before known. It was an experience that was to permanently change her life.

In the deepest part of her being, Susan realized a remarkable truth. She realized she had nothing to fear. Amazingly, whether or not she was ever rescued, whether she even made it out alive, she sensed she had nothing to fear.

For the first time in her life she understood that her true security did not depend on those things in which she had placed her trust. It lay deep within. And also for the first time, she knew what it was to be content in all circumstances. She realized that, in an ultimate sense, whether she had plenty or hardly enough, somehow she would be all right. She just knew it.

She later wrote, "Before the quake I had all the trappings of success, but my life was out of balance. I wasn’t happy because I was clinging to things in my life and always wanting more. My home, my job, my clothes, a relationship – I thought they were my security. It took an earthquake and losing everything I owned for me to discover that my security had been with me all along . . . There’s a power within us that we can depend upon no matter what is happening around us."

She had tied her rope to the wrong things. It took a disaster for her to understand that those things are untrustworthy. So she let go of the rope and discovered peace. She found that her true security was a power within – dependable and sure.

What is your rope tied to? And what would happen if you found the courage to let go of it?

-- Steve Goodier


Image: flickr.com/Doug Wheller