When We’re Run Down

Two‌ ‌natural‌ ‌gas‌ ‌company‌ ‌service‌ ‌personnel,‌ ‌a‌ ‌senior‌ ‌training‌ ‌supervisor‌ ‌and‌ ‌a‌ ‌young‌ ‌trainee,‌ ‌were‌ ‌out‌ ‌checking‌ ‌meters‌ ‌in‌ ‌a‌ ‌suburban‌ ‌neighborhood.‌ ‌They‌ ‌parked‌ ‌their‌ ‌truck‌ ‌at‌ ‌the‌ ‌end‌ ‌of‌ ‌an‌ ‌alley‌ ‌and‌ ‌worked‌ ‌their‌ ‌way‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌other‌ ‌end.‌ At‌ ‌the‌ ‌last‌ ‌house,‌ ‌a‌ ‌woman‌ ‌looking‌ ‌out‌ ‌her‌ ‌kitchen‌ ‌window‌ ‌watched‌ ‌the‌ ‌two‌ ‌men‌ ‌as‌ ‌they‌ ‌checked‌ ‌her‌ ‌gas‌ ‌meter.‌ ‌When‌ ‌they‌ ‌finished,‌ ‌the‌ ‌senior‌ ‌supervisor,‌ ‌proud‌ ‌of‌ ‌his‌ ‌physical‌ ‌condition,‌ ‌challenged‌ ‌his‌ ‌younger‌ ‌co-worker‌ ‌to‌ ‌a‌ ‌foot‌ ‌race‌ ‌back‌ ‌to‌ ‌their‌ ‌truck.‌ ‌As‌ ‌they‌ ‌approached‌ ‌the‌ ‌truck,‌ ‌they‌ ‌realized‌ ‌that‌ ‌the‌ ‌woman‌ ‌was‌ ‌huffing‌ ‌and‌ ‌puffing‌ ‌right‌ ‌behind‌ ‌them.‌ ‌They‌ ‌stopped‌ ‌and‌ ‌asked‌ ‌her‌ ‌what‌ ‌was‌ ‌wrong.‌ ‌ Gasping‌ ‌for‌ ‌breath,‌ ‌she‌ ‌replied,‌ ‌“When‌ ‌I‌ ‌saw‌ ‌two‌ ‌gas‌ company ‌men‌ ‌running‌ ‌as‌ ‌hard‌ ‌as‌ ‌you‌ ‌two‌ ‌were,‌ ‌I‌ ‌figured‌ ‌I’d‌ ‌better‌ ‌run,‌ ‌too!”‌ ‌ In‌ ‌another‌ ‌way,‌ ‌we‌ ‌spend‌ ‌a‌ ‌great‌ ‌deal‌ ‌of‌ time‌ ‌running,‌ ‌don’t‌ ‌we?‌ ‌We‌ ‌are‌ ‌running‌ ‌to‌ ‌catch‌ up‌ ‌at‌ ‌work.‌ ‌We‌ ‌are‌ ‌running‌ ‌to‌ ‌keep‌ ‌up‌ ‌at‌ ‌home.‌ ‌We‌ ‌speak‌ ‌of‌ ‌“running”‌ ‌errands.‌ ‌We‌ ‌“rush”‌ ‌off,‌ ‌we‌ ‌stop‌ ‌at‌ ‌the‌ ‌“Quick”‌ ‌mart,‌ ‌we‌ ‌buy‌ ‌“fast”‌ ‌food,‌ ‌we‌ ‌use‌ ‌the‌ ‌“express”‌ ‌lane,‌ ‌and‌ ‌we‌ ‌“hurry”‌ ‌back‌ ‌so‌ ‌we‌ ‌can‌ ‌“race”‌ ‌through‌ ‌our‌ ‌meal.‌ ‌Too‌ ‌often‌ ‌our‌ ‌lives‌ ‌are‌ ‌lived‌ ‌in‌ ‌fast‌ ‌forward.‌ ‌Then we complain that we’re ‌run‌ ‌down. One‌ ‌telecommunications‌ ‌company‌ ‌executive‌ ‌went‌ ‌to‌ ‌see‌ ‌his‌ ‌doctor.‌ ‌She‌ ‌listened‌ ‌to‌ ‌her‌ ‌patient’s‌ ‌heart,‌ ‌shook‌ ‌her‌ ‌head‌ ‌and‌ ‌said,‌ ‌“All‌ ‌I‌ ‌get‌ ‌is‌ ‌a‌ ‌busy‌ ‌signal.”‌ ‌ For many people, these unusual days seem less hurried than before. Because of the COVID-19 scare and subsequent isolation from others, many of us have found that slowing down is what our bodies and souls have craved for years. We find more time to take‌ ‌long ‌walks.‌ ‌We spend‌ ‌more ‌time‌ alone.‌ ‌We discover the re-energizing power of just being ‌still.‌ ‌We actually know what it means to listen‌ deeply ‌to‌ ‌our‌ ‌spirits.‌ ‌We might even discover, as Alan Wolfelt puts it, that we’ve been giving “mindless attention to things that don’t really matter and that we don’t really care about.” Surprisingly,‌ ‌we ‌might even ‌find‌ ‌we ‌have‌ ‌‌more‌ ‌energy‌ ‌for‌ ‌important‌ ‌tasks that we have for too long neglected.‌ When things get back to normal,‌ ‌will we ‌wonder‌ ‌why‌ ‌we ‌ever‌ ‌rushed‌ ‌at‌ ‌all? Today I’ll set my own pace. I’ll still arrive and, better yet, I’ll enjoy the journey.

--Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Ian Britton

Finding Slow Time

An American racing enthusiast entered his horse in a British steeplechase. Just before the race began, he slipped his horse a white pellet. The Duke of Marlborough, who was serving as steward, caught the owner in the act and objected. “I say, old man, really you can’t do that sort of thing over here.”    
   
“Just a harmless sugar lump,” the American assured him. He gulped one down himself. “Here, try one,” he said.
   
The duke took a pill, swallowed it, and seemed satisfied. As his jockey mounted, the American whispered in his ear, “Son, keep that horse on the outside and stay out of trouble, because once he starts running, there ain’t nothing that can catch him...except me and the Duke of Marlborough!”
   
Do you ever feel that way – running so fast that nothing can catch you? We Americans are accused of living in fast time. And I think that much of the rest of the world can relate. How often do we rush here and hurry there? Or inhale our fast food? We have “just a minute” for friends. We even use words like “running an errand.” We rely on lightning speed e-mail and speak of the old system as “snail mail.”

We live in fast time. Too often, we run so fast we lose our center. Or we lament, “I wish I could, but I don't have the time....”

How can that be? How can we live so fast and not have time?

An attorney, reflecting on his childhood, said that the greatest gift he ever received in his life was a note his father gave him on Christmas. It read, "Son, this year I will give you 365 hours. An hour every day after dinner. We'll talk about whatever you want to talk about. We'll go wherever you want to go, play whatever you want to play. It will be your hour." That dad kept his promise and renewed it every year.

I call that slow time. It's time that is not relentlessly measured by a clock. Slow time is time to be; time to experience life.

I gave my children a similar gift. I gave the gift of a breakfast out once a week. Just me and one of my sons. No agenda. No problem-solving. No scolding. Just listening. Talking about whatever he wanted to talk about. It became a time to learn about him, to laugh with him and to show him that, for the next hour or so, my time was his alone. It was the gift of slow time between a father and his son. And often it was the most important time I spent all day.
   
It's important to find enough slow time. For in the end, it’s not how fast you and I live our lives that matters, or how much we accomplish in a day. Are you taking time to enjoy? Is there time to listen to a friend or visit a relative in need? Are you leaving time each day to nurture your soul?

Are you finding slow time? After all, if life is a race, the winners are not those who run fastest, but rather those who run well. It takes plenty of slow time to run well.

– Steve Goodier


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Living Like a Turtle

Image courtesy of Crystal Church

A high-powered corporate executive came into a doctor's office for a checkup. He showed signs of overwork and stress. The doc warned him to slow down, to take up a hobby – perhaps painting – to relax. He agreed and started right away.

The next day the high-achieving businessman phoned and announced enthusiastically, "Doc, this painting is wonderful. I've already done ten!"

We don't need to be CEO's or high achievers to suffer from too much negative stress. It's easy to feel overwhelmed. In fact, you may be wondering this very minute whether you have time to read this page.

When I feel all-too-busy, I sometimes envy the turtle. The turtle lives as if time is no obstacle; a turtle seems to have all the time in the world and then some.

I think we have something to learn from turtles. Point in fact: turtles live an exceptionally long life. Humorist E. B. White tells us that scientists are searching their blood for some clues to their longevity. He speculates that
perhaps the turtles' blood vessels stay in such nice shape because of the way they conduct their lives. They rarely miss an opportunity to swim and relax in the sun. No two turtles ever lunched together with the idea of promoting something.

I think he is right about this. Turtles do not attend meetings and conferences. No turtle ever texted while driving, tweeted while eating or complained about too much email. They never use words and phrases like "implementation," "multi-tasking," or "thinking out of the box."

Some days the life of a turtle sounds just about right. Non-anxious and calm.

But in truth I suspect that merely slowing down is not a very satisfying answer. What I need has less to do with my pace of life than my peace of life. At any speed, I crave a deep and lasting inner peace. And if it's solace I'm after, I don't need to pace myself like a turtle, change jobs or set up house on a quiet island. It is usually frenetic living, not high energy, that robs my peace of mind.

I actually feel my best when I am energized and enthusiastic about the next thing ahead. I feel fully alive when I am busy, sometimes even too busy, doing what I love the most. It's not about slowing down or living like a turtle – it's about enjoying my life and finding meaning in it.

I believe we can stay active and engaged and still come from a deep and peaceful place within. We can live in the excitement of the moment without undue stress about the future. And at any pace of life, we can come from the calmness of love rather than anxiety and fear.

Even a turtle can go for that.

-- Steve Goodier


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Serenity in Chaos

flickr.com/Amit Patel

As an airport skycap checked through a customer at curbside, he accidentally knocked over the man's luggage. He quickly collected the fallen bags and apologized for the mishap. Unappeased, the traveler burst into an angry tirade, raging and swearing at the skycap for his clumsiness.

Throughout the traveler's rant, the baggage handler calmly apologized and smiled. The livid customer continued to berate the man, even as he turned away and headed for his gate. Through it all the baggage handler smiled and remained calm.

The next customer in line witnessed the incident and marveled at the skycap's professionalism and self control. "I have never seen such restraint and humility," he said. "How do you keep your cool when somebody is attacking you so viciously?"

"It's easy," the skycap answered. "He's going to London, but his bags are going to Tokyo."

I won’t recommend that we use revenge to relieve stress. But let me tell you about someone who has found a way to go through most of his life unfazed by the turbulence that affects most people.

He is one of the calmest people I’ve ever known and he describes how he keeps his cool no matter how turbulent a situation becomes. He says, “I look at it this way. A traffic jam has no power to make me angry. It just stops my car. And that’s the way I try to look at most of what happens to me.” With that philosophy, this guy goes through life with a serenity I can only envy.

My friend likes to say things like, “A rude customer has no power to make me angry; he just fusses.” And, “A mistake I made has no power to make me upset; it’s just a chance to do better.” He shows how we can truly find calmness in the midst of chaos.

Eminent 20th Century American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr wrote a short prayer that has been reprinted countless times. Bill Wilson, co-founder of the support group Alcoholics Anonymous, became familiar with the prayer about 1941. He edited and adapted it, and then circulated it with the title “Serenity Prayer.” You are likely familiar with his version:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

The prayer has been a great help to many hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of people over the years. And the truth of the matter is that there is much which cannot be changed. We can’t do anything about this evening’s traffic. Another person’s reaction is not something we can control. 

Furthermore, we may have made any number of mistakes that we probably regret, but they are in the past and that is something we cannot change. Reliving the past does not help us change the future.

There’s a certain power in calmness. And those who learn to accept with serenity that which they cannot change will find power to change those things they can.

-- Steve Goodier

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Just Chill

An Appalachian folk story tells of two friends who went coon hunting. They treed a coon but could not get him down. So one decided he'd climb the tree and shake the coon loose. To his surprise, he found it wasn’t a coon at all, but a wildcat.

In a little while, his friend heard an awful commotion up in the tree. Then he heard a voice screaming down at him, "Help! Help!”

“What’ll I do?”

“Just shoot up here amongst us,” his friend said. “One of us has got to have some relief.”

Does your life ever feel like you’re wrestling with a wildcat and somehow, somewhere, you have to get some relief? If so, you’re not alone.

Psychologist Richard Wiseman asserts that people actually need more relief now than ever before. We are living more stressful, faster-paced lives than ever. He cites the results of an international study conducted in collaboration with the British Council to measure the speed of life.

The experiment was conducted by researchers who secretly timed how fast thousands of pedestrians walked in city centers across the globe, including London, Madrid, Singapore and New York. Granted, this is not the most scientific experiment, but it is fascinating nevertheless.

Prof. Richard Wiseman says, “This simple measurement provides a significant insight into the physical and social health of a city.” Where do the fastest walkers live? In order of speed, they are found in Singapore (Singapore), Copenhagen (Denmark), Madrid (Spain), Guangzhou (China) and Dublin (Ireland).

According to this study, we live about 10% faster now than twenty years ago, when a similar experiment was conducted. The biggest changes are found in and around Asia, where the pace of life in Guangzhou (China) increased by over 20% and where Singapore showed a 30% increase.

A common American expression is, “Chill.” Are you anxious and uptight? Chill. Need to de-stress? Just take it easy? Chill.

Chilling is pretty good advice, actually. Especially if the word “chill” is spelled this way:

C - Calm down. When you’re anxious, frenzied or pressed, stop. Take a deep breath and ask yourself, “Why?”

H - Hold back. Set a reasonable pace. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. If you want to last, pace yourself. And take time to rest.

I - Indulge your desire for fun. Do something fun everyday and try to put fun in your usual activities.

L - Learn how to just be. You already know how to DO. Take time to BE. Don’t measure your life by what you accomplish, but by who you are. Be present. Be attentive. But be.

L - Let it go. You are not responsible for everything and everybody. In the immortal words of poet Robert Browning, “God's in His Heaven; all's right with the world.” You don’t have to do it all yourself; you don’t have to do it all right now. And some of it you may not have to do at all.

You may feel like you’re wrestling with a wildcat. Or maybe you just feel as if you’re living too fast. But if you need some relief, “chill” is a good word to remember. Spell it right and you just might get something you don’t expect. Happiness.

-- Steve Goodier