Walking Together in the Light

Image by Gabriella Fabbri

A funny story tells about a rabbi and a priest that met at the town picnic and began their usual “kibitzing.”

“This baked ham is just delicious,” the priest teased the rabbi. “You really should try some. I know it’s against your religion, but I can’t understand why such a wonderful thing should be forbidden. You just don’t know what you’re missing. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried Mrs. Kennedy’s baked ham. Tell me, when are you going to break down and try a little ham?”

The rabbi looked at the priest, smiled and said, “At your wedding.”

It's clear that much of the conflict between people of differing religious beliefs, particularly deeply-held religious beliefs, stems from the assertion that “we” are right and “they” are wrong. Our beliefs, our history, our practices are true, theirs are false. But can one group have a monopoly on truth?

Truth is light, wherever it is found. It is the sun in the noonday sky, shining on all universally. It cannot be bottled and sold or dispensed in secret tomes and ceremonies. It cannot be stolen, hidden or possessed by one group over another. Truth, like the sun, is viewed in different ways and known by different names. It is seen differently from different angles, but it shines in all directions.

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark,” said Plato. “The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” Afraid of truth. And afraid of one another.

I await the day that all people, all religions, walk in the light. And as they walk, they listen and understand. And in their understanding, they laugh. 

When the day comes that they laugh, they'll know how to walk together in light.

-- Steve Goodier

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Bringing Harmony to Discord

I once talked with a couple about their marriage. They completed personality “testing” and were discussing some differences that had frustrated them both over the years. I summarized some of those differences for them.

“You are sensitive,” I said to the husband. He nodded affirmatively. “You try to keep harmony in the relationship. It is important to you that you don’t have too much conflict, so you tend to give in often in order to keep the peace.” He agreed.

“You like affection and will often reach out and hold your wife’s hand for no reason at all.” He smiled and nodded.

“And you remember birthdays and special days – these are important to you.” He continued to smile and nod.

“And you particularly appreciate it when she says, ‘I love you.’ In fact, you need her to say that at least once a day.”

“EXACTLY!” he exclaimed with a broad smile, looking at his wife.

Then I spoke to her. “And you appreciate his sensitivity, but you tend to be more rational and logical.” She smiled and nodded.

“You can be more objective than he can about personal criticism and may sometimes be too blunt with him.” They both agreed.

“You like affection, but you don’t require it like he does. If you hold hands or not, that is unimportant to you.” She continued to nod.

“And you also appreciate the fact that he remembers those special days, but if he were to forget one, that would not upset you. In fact, you have to remember to say, ‘I love you’ to him, not because you don’t love him, but because saying it is just something you don’t think about often.” She agreed, looking at her husband.

“Saying words like ‘I love you’ does not mean the same thing to you as it does to him. You know you love him. In fact, you looked into his eyes when you got married and said, ‘I love you’ and figured that, if you ever change your mind, you’ll let him know.”

“EXACTLY!” she exclaimed, with a smile.

They told me that the discussion helped them to simply understand one another and to accept themselves. Rather than trying to change the other to get their own needs met, they could more easily appreciate their differences and also appreciate themselves as they are.

They found harmony where there used to be discord.

We don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note. Only notes that are different can harmonize. The same is true with people.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Jason Jacobs