Just A Dime

Can one dime make a difference? Here is a woman who turned a dime into millions of dollars. 

Her name was Martha Berry. This clever woman founded the Berry School in Rome, Georgia. She scraped together funds from every source possible. One day she approached Henry Ford, of Ford automobile fame, and asked for a contribution. Patronizingly, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a dime.

Rather than be insulted or discouraged by the “gift,” Miss Berry bought a package of seed peanuts with it. The seeds were planted and tended, and they eventually yielded a large crop, which she later sold.

Again she called on Mr. Ford. “Here’s the dime you gave me last year,” she said, handing him a coin. Then she told him of the return she had realized from his token investment.

Ford was so impressed that, in the years to come, he gave millions of dollars to the school.

Can one dime make a difference? Yes, if it is well invested.

How about one hour of your time? Can it make a difference? Or how about the life of one person? Can a life like yours or mine really make a difference? The answer to each of these questions is the same: Yes, if it is well invested.

Now...how are your investments doing?

-- Steve Goodier 

Image: flickr.com/Nicu Buculei

These Are the Only Times I’ve Got

Can you believe it? This poem was actually published in The Saturday Evening Post in 1949, under the title, “Time of the Mad Atom.” See if it sounds familiar.

This is the age

Of the half-read page.

And the quick hash

And the mad dash.

The bright night

With the nerves tight.

The plane hop

With the brief stop.

The lamp tan

In a short span.

The Big Shot

In a good spot.

And the brain strain

The heart pain.

And the cat naps

Till the spring snaps −

And the fun’s done!

It seems that people were as frantic then as they are now.

Many years ago James Lachard (pen name for John James Brown) wrote a piece called “An Interview with God.” In it, the narrator asks God, “What surprises you most about mankind?”

God’s answer is telling: “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

Are we so driven to make a living that we can’t make a life? Are we so anxious about what might happen tomorrow that we miss what is happening today? What if we decided that today is too important not to cherish?

I don’t want to get addicted to being busy. And I don’t want to die before I’ve ever really lived. To paraphrase Art Buchwald, whether these are the worst of times or the best of times, I know these are the only times I’ve got, and I want to live them with intention.

I think I can start that today. -- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/ukg.photographerflickr.com/ukg.photographer

What Is the Most Important Thing?

Have you heard about the man who was shopping with his baby boy? The obviously distraught and screaming child sat in the shopping cart.

As the man walked up and down the aisles, he calmly and patiently repeated, "Don't yell, Bobby. Calm down, Bobby. Don't get excited, Bobby."

A woman standing next to him turned and said, "You certainly are to be commended for trying so hard to soothe little Bobby."

The bewildered man looked up and said, "Lady, I'm Bobby!" 

It may seem like more than he can manage at times, but if he’s like most parents, he’s in it for the long haul. Being with his son is a priority. There are certainly easier and, at some times, more pleasurable ways to spend his time, but active parenting may be one of the most important things he can do.

Here is an experiment: Every once in awhile pause and ask yourself, “What is the most important thing I can be doing with my life at this particular time?” Then ask yourself, “Is anything keeping me from doing it?”

Robert Reich did just that. As Secretary of Labor in President Clinton’s administration, Robert B. Reich told of his decision to do something almost unheard of...to resign from his high profile and stressful job. He said, in an article published in the Op-Ed sections of the New York Times and Washington Post, "I have the best job I've ever had and probably ever will. No topping it." It was true. He seemed to love his job. But he added, "I also have the best family I'll ever have, and I can't get enough of them." And there was the problem. He could not give himself to his family and to this particular career at the same time.

So Reich concluded, "I had to choose. I told the boss I'll be leaving, and explained why." His boss, of course, was the president of the United States. And the country took notice. Some people were stunned. Here was a high government official who made a decision to step out of an important and powerful position in order to spend more time at home. But like an old Chinese proverb teaches, “He who chases two rabbits catches none.” 

He was wise enough to figure out what was the most important thing he could do with his life, insightful enough to see that something else was keeping him from doing it, and courageous enough to pick between the two. What if you asked yourself, “What is the most important thing I can be doing with my life at this particular time?” Then follow it up with the question, “Is anything keeping me from doing it?” What changes might you make?

Are you willing to find out?

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/Wes Peck

Don’t Read This

Flickr image by Richard Giles

Don’t read this!

I see you didn’t heed my warning. Let me try again. My advice is...DON’T READ THIS.

Are you still here? It’s not that I want you to forever stop reading these messages, but reading about how to lead a whole and fulfilling life and doing it are not the same. To do it, you might have to do something else that is increasingly difficult for many of us...walk away from your media.

I just read of a young mother who lost her cell phone and was forced to stay off of Facebook and away from texting friends for a few days. She said she actually found herself doing something she hadn’t done in a couple of years  -- interacting with her family. She felt as if she got her life back and was worried that she’d slip into the same old patterns with her new phone.

Katherine Jackson, mother of the late pop star Michael Jackson, explained this about her son: "It all really started when Michael was three or four years old. The TV broke and the kids started dancing and singing to entertain themselves. I convinced their father they were good, and after he listened to them, he agreed with me." The TV broke and, well, you know the rest of the story.

A woman lost her phone and something surprising happened. The TV broke and something historic happened. So now, if you’re still reading this (and you obviously are), let me ask a question: if you were to walk away from your media for the rest of the day, what amazing thing might happen to you?

Do you remember the story of a woman driving through the countryside who saw an astonishing sight? It was of a man standing on a ladder against an apple tree with a goat in his arms. The animal calmly ate apples from the tree while the man patiently held it up.

The curious woman stopped the car. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Feeding my goat, of course."

"Doesn't it take an awfully long time that way?"

"Heck," he said. "What's time to a goat?"

Good question: what’s time to a goat? But you’re not a goat. And chances are there is likely an electronic device at hand stealing more of your time than you can afford to lose.

If your television, computer or mobile device broke, what might get fixed? Or, put another way, if you turned OFF the media for a while, what might get turned ON?

And one more question -- this is the big one. Are you ready to find out?

-- Steve Goodier

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Finding Slow Time

An American racing enthusiast entered his horse in a British steeplechase. Just before the race began, he slipped his horse a white pellet. The Duke of Marlborough, who was serving as steward, caught the owner in the act and objected. “I say, old man, really you can’t do that sort of thing over here.”    
   
“Just a harmless sugar lump,” the American assured him. He gulped one down himself. “Here, try one,” he said.
   
The duke took a pill, swallowed it, and seemed satisfied. As his jockey mounted, the American whispered in his ear, “Son, keep that horse on the outside and stay out of trouble, because once he starts running, there ain’t nothing that can catch him...except me and the Duke of Marlborough!”
   
Do you ever feel that way – running so fast that nothing can catch you? We Americans are accused of living in fast time. And I think that much of the rest of the world can relate. How often do we rush here and hurry there? Or inhale our fast food? We have “just a minute” for friends. We even use words like “running an errand.” We rely on lightning speed e-mail and speak of the old system as “snail mail.”

We live in fast time. Too often, we run so fast we lose our center. Or we lament, “I wish I could, but I don't have the time....”

How can that be? How can we live so fast and not have time?

An attorney, reflecting on his childhood, said that the greatest gift he ever received in his life was a note his father gave him on Christmas. It read, "Son, this year I will give you 365 hours. An hour every day after dinner. We'll talk about whatever you want to talk about. We'll go wherever you want to go, play whatever you want to play. It will be your hour." That dad kept his promise and renewed it every year.

I call that slow time. It's time that is not relentlessly measured by a clock. Slow time is time to be; time to experience life.

I gave my children a similar gift. I gave the gift of a breakfast out once a week. Just me and one of my sons. No agenda. No problem-solving. No scolding. Just listening. Talking about whatever he wanted to talk about. It became a time to learn about him, to laugh with him and to show him that, for the next hour or so, my time was his alone. It was the gift of slow time between a father and his son. And often it was the most important time I spent all day.
   
It's important to find enough slow time. For in the end, it’s not how fast you and I live our lives that matters, or how much we accomplish in a day. Are you taking time to enjoy? Is there time to listen to a friend or visit a relative in need? Are you leaving time each day to nurture your soul?

Are you finding slow time? After all, if life is a race, the winners are not those who run fastest, but rather those who run well. It takes plenty of slow time to run well.

– Steve Goodier


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Putting First Things First

freeimages.com/Ja Ty

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of duty when he was given the opportunity to prepare his ship to "set sail." With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with sailors and soon the ship churned slowly out of the channel.

The ensign’s efficiency was remarkable. In fact, the talk was that he had set a new record for getting the ship underway.

But his captain was not as pleased. A message delivered to the young officer read, "My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. But next time, you might wait until your captain is aboard before setting off."

What good is a ship without the captain? The ensign did all the right things, but he never did the most important thing.

It is a matter of priorities. I know that I may accomplish a great deal every day. I may do the right things, but am I doing the best things? To borrow language from author Stephen Covey, do I put first things first?

I can relate to the man who believes he spends too much of his time in meetings. "I have this recurring nightmare," he says. "My wife and children are gathered at the cemetery for my funeral. After the service, the funeral director approaches my weeping family and hands them a box containing all my earthly possessions. In the box are 35 years of my annual calendars and diaries. I read over their shoulders as they scan the appointment notes that kept me busy for so many years. It occurs to me how seldom anything of significance was ever accomplished at those gatherings. I turn to look at my tombstone. The epitaph reads, "Daddy has gone to another meeting."

That man could be me. I need to regularly ask myself, "In my most significant relationships, in my work and in my free time, in all areas of my life, am I doing what is truly important? Important to me? I do the mundane. I do the urgent and the pressing. But do I spend enough time with what is actually significant?

I once made this demonstration to an audience. I filled a large, clear jar with coffee beans almost to the top. The beans, I said, represent all of the activities we accomplish in a day. Then I produced two golf balls. "These," I said, "represent a couple of the truly important things in our lives." I asked them to think of the golf balls as time spent with a significant person, such as a family member, or doing something special for somebody else, or developing their spiritual life or just beginning that project they keep putting off. I placed the balls on top of the beans then tried to screw on the lid. I couldn’t do it. There were too many beans in the jar.

"Does this remind you of a typical day?" I asked. "We’re so busy doing the usual we can’t seem to squeeze in anything else."

I emptied the jar and started over. "But what if we put first things first? What if we start each day doing something special, something we truly WANT to do? I placed the golf balls into the jar first. Then I poured in the coffee beans – all of them. They fell neatly around the balls and filled the jar to the top. When I screwed on the lid it fit perfectly.

And that’s the secret to building the kind of life you want. I’ve discovered that if I can begin every day with one or two things that are important to me, the other stuff still fits into place just fine.

I don’t want to just do all of the RIGHT things and never get around to the BEST things. And I certainly don’t want my life summed up in the sentence, "Daddy has gone to another meeting." So I handle the golf balls first. And in comparison, everything else is just beans.

-- Steve Goodier



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One Simple Question

I once read that an ordinance in one of America’s major cities forbids "walking about aimlessly, with no apparent purpose, lingering, hanging around, lagging behind, idly spending time, delaying, sauntering and moving slowly about."

I can’t tell you how disturbed I felt. Some of my best days are spent like that.

But then, I don’t want my whole life to be basically described as having "no apparent purpose...lagging behind...idly spending time...delaying" and generally moving about aimlessly. On the other hand, neither do I want to take myself too seriously. An occasional day spent doing next to nothing sounds perfectly fine.

My problem is that I am usually busy. I schedule tightly and work long hours. I plan my time and make lists.

But it would be a mistake to believe that, just because I am doing many things, I am necessarily doing the right things. Or, perhaps, the BEST things. At least if I’m busy, I want to stay busy at things that matter.

News commentator Dan Rather asked himself a vital question several times a day. Largely because of this one question, he became one of America's leading journalists. Rather wrote the question on three slips of paper. He kept one in his billfold, one in his pocket, and one on his desk. The all-important question he constantly asked himself was "Is what you are doing now helping the broadcast?"

If the answer was yes, then he continued with his work, project or idea. If the answer was no, then he stopped what he was doing and put his efforts into something else. He discovered early on that if he did not focus his time, he would end up in a job where he was under-utilized and dissatisfied.

What if you were to ask yourself a focusing question several times a day? Your question might relate to work, or perhaps to another area of your life that is important to you – family, relationships, personal development, spirituality….

You might ask yourself if what you’re doing now is helping you succeed. Or if what you’re doing now is helping you to be a better parent or a better person. You decide. The point is this: one simple question can focus and transform your life.

Try writing the question you choose on small slips of paper or on the back of a business card. Carry it with you. Post it on your desk. You might even affix it to a conspicuous spot inside your car.

Then read it several times a day. That one question will help you choose activities that contribute toward your best self. And if you are busy, at least you will be busy doing the right things – things that matter.

Then, if you decide to spend an occasional day walking about aimlessly, with no apparent purpose, lingering, hanging around, lagging behind, idly spending time, delaying, sauntering and moving slowly about, why not? The down time will probably do you good.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/paul wooten

Love and Time

Writer Gary Jennings said this: “Love and time, those are the only two things in all the world and all of life, that cannot be bought, but only spent.”

I love that. And HOW I spend my love and time is what it is all about.

My work and interests require me to spend probably an inordinate amount of time in front of my computer. At least according to my wife Bev.

She and I were talking one day about death and funerals and what to do with each other’s remains. I asked. “What will you do with my body? Burial? Cremation?”

She answered, “I think I’ll just have you stuffed and propped up in your chair by the computer. That way when I walk through the room I won’t even notice that you’re gone.”

I got the point – too much computer time. And how I spend my time and my love is all important.

The question I ask myself is this: “Do I generously and freely give love and time away – and especially to those closest to me?”

Charles Francis Adams was the United States ambassador to Great Britain during the Lincoln administration. He had the habit of keeping a daily diary. He also taught his son Brooks the value of journaling his activities in a diary.

One memorable day, eight-year-old Brooks recorded, “Went fishing with my father, the most glorious day of my life.” It must have been a glorious day, for the next forty years Brooks repeatedly mentioned it in his diary. It became a life-long memory.

His father also wrote about the fishing trip. His own diary on that pivotal day for his son reads, “Went fishing with my son; a day wasted.”

He didn’t get it. That one single day he generously and freely gave love and time away to Brooks may have been the one of the most important days of his son’s life. Did he feel that, as a United States ambassador, his time was too valuable to be “wasted” with his children? History seems to show that a fishing trip with his son paid huge dividends in Brooks’ life.

I only hope I will spend love and time so well.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/robin ducker

Letting Your Soul Catch Up

You already know that practicing some form of relaxation is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself? Taking time each day to quiet your mind and breathe deeply, can make a big difference in how you feel throughout your day and into the night. But do you know that dedicating a day every week for mental and spiritual renewal is equally important?

We’re told that the word “relax” has its origin in the Latin word “relaxare,” which means “to loosen.” When we relax, we are in effect loosening tension, releasing tightly held energy and letting go. From the state of relaxation we can experience calm peacefulness.

Another great word is the Hebrew word "Shabbat" which, of course, is a day of rest. But it quite literally means to "quit; stop; take a break." Whatever you are doing, stop it. Whatever you are saying, be quiet. Sit down and take a look around. Don't do anything. Don't say anything. Fold your hands. Take a deep breath... .

Extended periods of rest are a biological necessity. The human body is like an old-fashioned wind-up clock. If it is not rewound by rest, ultimately it will run itself down.

A group of Americans made a trip with Brazilian natives down the Amazon River. The first day they rushed. The second day they rushed. The next day they rushed. One day, anxious to continue the trek, they were surprised to find the natives seated together in a circle.

When asked the reason for the delay, a guide answered, “They are waiting. They cannot move further until their souls catch up with their bodies.”

Do you owe yourself time to let your soul catch up with your body?

-- Steve Goodier


Image: flickr.com/Delphine Devos

No Room in the Bank

Is your life full and busy? If you’re like me, maybe it is too busy. Sometimes I fill my life so full doing things I think I should do, I don’t have time for the things I want to do, even if some of those things are important. It seems that I have a thousand deadlines to meet, and too often I can’t find enough time to write, I skip my exercise routine, or I neglect uninterrupted time spent in solitude and meditation. But it helps to remember a story about a young girl and her bank.

The little girl’s father had just given her a silver dollar to put into her bank. She excitedly ran off to her room to “deposit” the coin. However, in a few minutes she returned and handed the silver coin back to her father.

“Daddy,” she said sadly, “here’s your dollar back. I can’t get it into my bank.”

“Why not?” her concerned father asked.

“It’s too full,” she said, obviously disappointed.

Her father accompanied her back to her room and, sure enough, her bank was too full to accept even one more coin. It was stuffed with pennies.

If your life ever like that bank? So full of errands, obligations and activities of no lasting value, that there simply is no room left for what is truly important – the silver dollars?

Author Grenville Kleiser once said, “To live at this time is an inestimable privilege, and a sacred obligation devolves upon you to make right use of your opportunities. Today is the day in which to attempt and achieve something worthwhile.”

Have you made room for a few large coins in your bank; for something you believe to be worthwhile? If not, you may have to take out a few pennies, but I suspect you will never know they are gone.

-- Steve Goodier

Image: flickr.com/OTA Photos