For closeness: travel. No, I don't mean to go to take a road trip or to fly away to some exotic place. But there are ways to go deeper into a relationship –- like traveling. And there are things we can do to help a relationship really go somewhere. Let me explain.
Inmate Mitchell King had a visitor -- his wife. King was serving a six-year jail term in Auckland, New Zealand for armed robbery. But his wife didn't want to be away from him for that long. So they held hands. She wanted them to always stick together - through it all. Hand in hand, forever joined. And they did stick together. She had rubbed her palms with Super Glue.
Their new-found closeness was short-lived. And their separation painful. (I suggest we put the Super Glue idea on a short list of "THINGS NOT TO DO" when we want to grow closer.)
But if you want a deeper connection with someone you care about, if you want relationships that are more intimate, more meaningful and longer-lasting, then try this simple technique. Just remember the word "TRAVEL."
T is for TRUST. If we're seeking a glue to cement us to another, then trust is that bond. A relationship will go nowhere without it.
R is for RESPECT. Some people talk about how much they have always respected their cherished friends and family at a funeral. But why wait? People want to know that we hold them in high regard. It's about valuing others and letting them know you respect them.
A is for AFFECTION. Sometimes affection means love. Sometimes it means a touch. Or a hug. Always it means kindness.
V is for VULNERABILITY. Though we may feel afraid to let another too close, no relationship will go anywhere without taking a risk. Like entrepreneur Jim Rohn says, "The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy." And the love.
E is for EMOTIONAL INTIMACY. It about learning to be open. Learning to communicate freely. The quality of relationships we make are largely determined by how openly we communicate.
L is for LAUGHTER. Victor Borge got it right when he said, "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." It's also the most enjoyable.
So for a relationship that can really go somewhere, just remember the word "TRAVEL." Then enjoy the trip.
-- Steve Goodier